Ryland Grace easily became one of my favorite characters. There’s something that feels different about Project Hail Mary, and the character Ryland all together.
He feels like a character archetype I haven’t found before.
I wish I was more like Ryland in some ways. Smarter. I was always more artistically inclined than academically. I find his intelligence beautiful. If I got to watch him work in his universe, I would number one, be confused, and number two, be in awe.
The parts of myself I do see in his character are more emotionally based. I’m awkward, and shy, but in the sense you could also call someone a staggering waste of carbon lmaoo. We share a similar sense of humor and aversion to people. Like when Grace walked into that room full of important people and turned right back around to walk out lmaoo. Me.
I think I love Grace’s sensitivity the most though, and the way he just feels like a normal guy.
It breaks my heart everytime I think about it. That he thought of himself as a coward, just because he chose himself instead, because he didn’t want to die.
He was never kind enough to himself.
For everything that he had done. All the research and work he did before, and everything he still did after to save everyone.
I wish he knew. I wish he knew how wrong he was.
I wish he knew that he was just human.
Scared. Terrified. Justified. Normal.
It’s what makes him so special. This representation of a character that feels realistic, like an everyday person.
There have been so many times that I was too scared to do something, and I’ve spent a long time beating myself up over not being “braver”.
To see a character feel the same emotions I have, to physically fight with them, it meant something.
To wish to be better, smarter, stronger. More capable. To be the one that swoops in and saves the day. Don’t we all wish for that, to be that?
We see it in media all the time. We see characters running towards the burning buildings, or the bullets, willing to sacrifice themselves….what about the character that doesn’t, that takes their foot off the gas pedal?
I love that Ryland Grace is softer, sensitive. I love that he cries. It broke my heart every time he did. I just wanted to hold him and tell him that he was good. He was a good man.
That I don’t blame him for running. I would have too. I would’ve tackled as many of them as I could just to give him a head start.
That if this story had not been this story, and Rocky wasn’t waiting on him…I would’ve let this bitch freeze over for him. For Ryland Grace. He didn’t owe the world shit.
It breaks my heart that in the end he still thought of himself as a coward.
He did everything, even if he didn’t remember at first. He did all the things on that ship that terrified him. He met Rocky. He risked his life to save their planets. He went back for Rocky, knowing what it could mean.
He sent his findings back to earth, after remembering how he was treated, and knowing he wasn’t even going back himself.
He was realistic and all the things he thought he needed to be more of. We look at Grace and ask, how do you not see how smart you are, how brave?
Ryland Grace is brave. He just couldn’t see it himself.
So maybe I’m braver than I think too.
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