Who are you and how did you get in here?

(Unreality) He/Him, Pick/Picks. Formerly run by @vulpix_wright, archive managed by @the-text-doctor.

[lockpickingosha]

*tap tap*

Let's do this one last time.

*perfectly-timed jingle*

My name is Lachie. Until about a year ago, I worked as a field inspector in a world where OSHA actually meant Safety and Health. A sudden incident stripped me of my body and - unknown to me - sent me here. I got used to all the weird stuff happening, but now I have decided to go back home, where I belong.

I leave this blog in the capable hands of @the-text-doctor, as a thank you for providing my exit. I trust they will keep it well-maintained on my behalf.

Kiki Klefki!

It's been nice knowing you.

Lachie stepped through Screech's portal, Kiwi following closely behind. Screech ended the recording as the portal closed.

(Previous pinned post)

[lockpickingosha]

<I keep forgetting this gateway the Lockpicker gave me still exists.. Greetings all!> @the-text-doctor

[lockpickingosha]

Is the lock picking lawyer OSHA compliant?

Wait are you lpl

<I'm assuming they were, and unfortunately, this gateway into OSHA's lockpicker is under new management..> @the-text-doctor

[lockpickingosha]

You're leaving? I only met you for a brief moment, but you still managed to be one of my favourite people here.

Ki!!

Well, two.

(@no-thoughts-shower-empty)

"People" doesn't seem like quite the right word for either of us.

It's nice to see you one last time, Empty.

Lachie lowered picks mask again before kneeling down to pat Empty.

[no-thoughts-shower-empty]

Empty gave Lachie a bottle of water and a spare tension wrench before leaning in to accept the pats.

To all the stories left untold.

Perhaps I'll find you again, wherever you end up.

[lockpickingosha]

I might be able to leave, but I'll never forget what this place has done for me. And perhaps that isn't a bad thing.

Klefki...

For a brief moment, all was right in the world.

[lockpickingosha]

You're leaving? I only met you for a brief moment, but you still managed to be one of my favourite people here.

Ki!!

Well, two.

(@no-thoughts-shower-empty)

"People" doesn't seem like quite the right word for either of us.

It's nice to see you one last time, Empty.

Lachie lowered picks mask again before kneeling down to pat Empty.

[lockpickingosha]

trick or treat

<Trick, show me something interesting..>

[lockpickingosha]

*tap tap*

Is this thing on?

Hello. This is Lachie, and I am a humble OSHA inspector with a talent for locks. I decided to create a tumblr account because so many of my coworkers have also done so.

Kii!

Oh, you too. Say hi to the people, Kiwi.

*scraping noise accompanied with feedback*

No, get away from there! You'll break it! I got you a scratching post for a reason.

Name: Lachie

Pronouns: He/Him, Pick/Picks

Appearance: Welder's Mask, Normal Human Hands, Long Clothes. Seems human enough.

Age: 30-40 years

Job: Inspection of onsite and offsite workplaces, especially ones that should be locked.

Important personality traits: Completely used to things not being human or even comprehensible by human eyes.

Name: Kiwi

Pronouns: They/It

Appearance: A Klefki, a fairy/steel Pokémon resembling a floating keyring. One of the keys it holds was given to it by Lachie, and has "Kiwi" scrawled on it.

Age: Unknown.

Mod: Mod Kitsune, aka @vulpix-wright

Mod's Pronouns: Any, neopronouns preferred

[lockpickingosha]

Finally, I escaped, I'm free ==INCOMING TRANSMISSION FROM: SCREECH== Oh, it's him, I suppose I should answer... <Hello everyone at OSHA, I am here to tell you all that your now ex-lock picker left...for completely unknown reasons... I will be taking control here...> <Perhaps with this communicator, this message will find you.>

[the-text-doctor]

(@lockpickingosha)

We heard that you're one of the last people who still has access to portals out of this place.

Kiwi and I aren't escaping alone.

*pleading jingle*

<..Hehehe, assuming that this DOES work, and I don't just get whisked away here the next day..Sure, got nothing else to do..>

[lockpickingosha]

Take the lead then. I'm not experienced with magical locks, although I can't speak for Kiwi.

Ki!

[the-text-doctor]

<Alright.. I guess we wait for a portal...> *VWOHM!* <...Oh.>

[lockpickingosha]

For the first time in months, Lachie raised their mask to reveal... nothing but a faint blue glow, with the occasional spark of red.

Well, I suppose this is goodbye. I'll miss this place and everyone here.

Onward, then, to whatever lies ahead.

[the-text-doctor]

<...WAIT! I..tell OSHA.. that I want to join..at least do that for me..>

[lockpickingosha]

I should say my last goodbyes in person, too...

Come with us, then.

[the-text-doctor]

<Alright..>

[lockpickingosha]

((Shall I just add you as a mod on lockpickingosha? You have more of a plan than I do.))

[the-text-doctor]

(@lockpickingosha)

We heard that you're one of the last people who still has access to portals out of this place.

Kiwi and I aren't escaping alone.

*pleading jingle*

<..Hehehe, assuming that this DOES work, and I don't just get whisked away here the next day..Sure, got nothing else to do..>

[lockpickingosha]

Take the lead then. I'm not experienced with magical locks, although I can't speak for Kiwi.

Ki!

[the-text-doctor]

<Alright.. I guess we wait for a portal...> *VWOHM!* <...Oh.>

[lockpickingosha]

For the first time in months, Lachie raised their mask to reveal... nothing but a faint blue glow, with the occasional spark of red.

Well, I suppose this is goodbye. I'll miss this place and everyone here.

Onward, then, to whatever lies ahead.

[the-text-doctor]

<...WAIT! I..tell OSHA.. that I want to join..at least do that for me..>

[lockpickingosha]

I should say my last goodbyes in person, too...

Come with us, then.

[the-text-doctor]

(@lockpickingosha)

We heard that you're one of the last people who still has access to portals out of this place.

Kiwi and I aren't escaping alone.

*pleading jingle*

<..Hehehe, assuming that this DOES work, and I don't just get whisked away here the next day..Sure, got nothing else to do..>

[lockpickingosha]

Take the lead then. I'm not experienced with magical locks, although I can't speak for Kiwi.

Ki!

[the-text-doctor]

<Alright.. I guess we wait for a portal...> *VWOHM!* <...Oh.>

[lockpickingosha]

For the first time in months, Lachie raised their mask to reveal... nothing but a faint blue glow, with the occasional spark of red.

Well, I suppose this is goodbye. I'll miss this place and everyone here.

Onward, then, to whatever lies ahead.

[the-text-doctor]

(@lockpickingosha)

We heard that you're one of the last people who still has access to portals out of this place.

Kiwi and I aren't escaping alone.

*pleading jingle*

<..Hehehe, assuming that this DOES work, and I don't just get whisked away here the next day..Sure, got nothing else to do..>

[lockpickingosha]

Take the lead then. I'm not experienced with magical locks, although I can't speak for Kiwi.

Ki!

[lockpickingosha]

*tap tap*

I've handed in my resignation letter, not that there's anyone to hand it in to. I'll be happy to never see this place again.

Ki?

I mean, there's a couple people I'll miss, but I've made my choice, Kiwi. Don't worry, you're coming with me.

...I don't think anyone in the outside world would believe me if I told them about anything I've seen happen...

If there even is an outside world.

((lockpickingosha's final event has begun! Be prepared to send or receive asks.))

[the-text-doctor]

ooc: AW WHAT? I JUST FIGURED OUT ABOUT YOU GUYS-- :(

[lockpickingosha]

((If you don't want to come with us it's fine))

[the-text-doctor]

OOC: IF IT MEANS YOU STICK AROUND I GUESS SCREECH COULD COME WITH?-

[lockpickingosha]

((Just... come up with some excuse why you can't come with us. Hell, if all else fails, it could just not work? Lachie and Kiwi are the only two that are going))

[lockpickingosha]

*tap tap*

I've handed in my resignation letter, not that there's anyone to hand it in to. I'll be happy to never see this place again.

Ki?

I mean, there's a couple people I'll miss, but I've made my choice, Kiwi. Don't worry, you're coming with me.

...I don't think anyone in the outside world would believe me if I told them about anything I've seen happen...

If there even is an outside world.

((lockpickingosha's final event has begun! Be prepared to send or receive asks.))

[the-text-doctor]

ooc: AW WHAT? I JUST FIGURED OUT ABOUT YOU GUYS-- :(

[lockpickingosha]

((If you don't want to come with us it's fine))

[lockpickingosha]

*tap tap*

I've handed in my resignation letter, not that there's anyone to hand it in to. I'll be happy to never see this place again.

Ki?

I mean, there's a couple people I'll miss, but I've made my choice, Kiwi. Don't worry, you're coming with me.

...I don't think anyone in the outside world would believe me if I told them about anything I've seen happen...

If there even is an outside world.

((lockpickingosha's final event has begun! Be prepared to send or receive asks.))

[relatablepicturesofdoofenshmirtz]

[osha-janitor]

*Something is wrong with Kishar... all of their bodies are moving robotically, and their eyes are glazed over, almost staticky... there's a withered white rose in their hair, and their hair itself is short and straight. And they're in a maid outfit...

They seem entirely focused on their janitorial duties, and nothing else.*

[lockpickingosha]

This can't be happening. Not again.

Hey, Kishar? You good?

Klefki?

[osha-janitor]

*They do not respond, continuing their work... their face is blank. They seem as though all they can think about is their work. And their eyes... they're full of static*

[lockpickingosha]

Lachie doesn't try to help. There's nothing they can do. Not now.

Ki?

I'm fine. I think.

[osha-janitor]

*Something is wrong with Kishar... all of their bodies are moving robotically, and their eyes are glazed over, almost staticky... there's a withered white rose in their hair, and their hair itself is short and straight. And they're in a maid outfit...

They seem entirely focused on their janitorial duties, and nothing else.*

[lockpickingosha]

This can't be happening. Not again.

Hey, Kishar? You good?

Klefki?