LO(ve) IS EL(egant)

25. F. TO, Canada Miscellaneous remnants of life: The more personal stuff include recently favourite electro or indie songs, my attempts at photography, tweets, things that made me laugh out loud, witty quotations from books or conversations, or just random thoughts to vent about love and other silly things. I've made it easier for you... CHOOSE ONE: | Get Intimate | Creations | Eye Candy | L Tunes | Wisdom | Tweets | Interwebz | LOL | Words | Love | Psyche STALK ME: Blip.fm: EarCandy Facebook YouTube: Publicamenity9 Flickr Twitter: aloiselw Grooveshark Linkedin email: [email protected] [email protected]

[loisel]

To all

Hello,

Long time no write. long story short

- my grandmother passed - I thought I could deal - I was wrong - emotions galore, her absence hit me like an overdose - emotions flooded into art and writing - I’ve been speaking like a maniac but lost my voice - turned to writing. Here is the result of most of my reflections about death. Please read when I actually die. *Note: dark What I would like to write on my will: Hi guys! I'm going to be leaving earth soon to join those that I have lost (notably my grandparents and friends) I'm very excited to see what the universe has to offer me after this life (for you religious folk, I'm excited to see heaven - or hell. I think I will see everything.)I will see the the galaxies and the moon, the start dust and the oceans and different interstellar you-name-its. I'm not very versed on astronomical things. But I know that death is. Please be sad, happy, and cry all you want because I don't want you to hold back emotions. The first time I experienced death, I was ashamed and dramatic and I couldn't tell reality from what I should feel etc... So please be true to how you feel. Also, Please when you learn of my disappearance please look through ALL of my belongings- make it an event: writings, art, pictures, music, poetry, everything I ever created, wore, used, donated, liked, loved, hated. Remember everything I have done or said or taught you. This is how you will keep me forever. I loved living here SO much but sometimes it was rough but I knew how to handle it for some reason.  I came in to this earth with a lot of difficulty. For some of you who know me well and I've told my birth story to, you know that when I was born in Cagayan valley in my village, we were very poor and my lazy midwife couldn't cut my umbilical cord so we had to wait for my amniotic sac to come out but my mother struggled a lot and we both almost died. From then on I felt I was the luckiest person to have survived such a tragic and almost absurd fate. Really- it was stormy with lightning and thunder and everything! Now I am dying and I DO NOT REGRET ANYTHING I HAVE EVER DONE here (except maybe when I hurt people) But I’m still grateful for those experiences because I was always learning to improve myself so everything was always for a purpose- nothing in my life was wasted- except for some food leftovers which I genuinely feel sad about.  Of course You will miss me and I know I will miss you too, even though people think that when people die, the souls don't "feel" well I KNOW FOR A FACT that I will feel. Because our souls exude feelings and well... when we have no body any more, there is no vessel for the soul so it just sort of floats up. So actually it will be the opposite- I will purely be “just a feeling”. You know that first philosophical dilemma every kid learns -about that tree that fell in the forest? Well you probably already know what I'm going to say but yes it's like that. Just because no one can sense you, doesn't mean it is impossible to "sense" you. So yes, the tree made a loud bam.

You just have to open you mind! And most importantly open your heart. This is important. Because I will probably be floating near you, in the trees, in your sleep, when you think of me. I'll be everywhere. Nowhere to you and you immediate senses but really look and feel... 

Be sad! But take it as a lesson. 

Please! Like I would have. I love you all! And I know we will remember each other always. Hope to meet you again.

[loisel]

Today I felt like I was teetering on the edge of a cliff, barely holding on. My consciousness was suffering and I was too aware all at once. My breathing was steady, my patience and positivity at their peak and yet pain kept throbbing and bubbling to the surface with energy that burst to the point of creation. I cooked with colours, I mourned the death of a candle and a love, I cried, I painted, wrote, daydreamed, fought with a passion and flowed with songwaves that told stories of heartbreak.

[loisel]

alt-J - Nara (Official Audio)

iTunes - http://smarturl.it/TIAYitunes Vinyl - http://smarturl.it/TIAYvinyl CD - http://smarturl.it/TIAYcd Streaming - http://smarturl.it/TIAYSpotify

For my winter blues, some dark and sultry sounds to tame my soul.

happy wintering.

[loisel]

Hello Tumblr my old friend, I've come to post on you again...

[loisel]

Leem knows poetry

This is a poem I found. My friend Leonard Prettie-Perry wrote it.

We are moving, stumbling, frenzied, In the madness of night. Our lips find each other and, I wake next to you, In a bleary light, I smile.

We are swimming now, swirling, Uncertain, apprehensive, encroaching Our lips find each other and, I rise next to you, In a warmer light, and I smile.

We are driving home, Side by side one, hand on the steering wheel, the other massaging your neck I look at you, and I smile.

We are both curled in bed now, Streaming tears of laughter, The closest distance, I smile

We are singing now, finding our place in the lyrics. Brimming with euphoria, I behold you, golden in the summer sun, and I smile.

We move down a grey road, It’s your birthday, Your feet stumbling in unison with mine, buzzing, your hand holds mine, you hold me close that night, and ask me to be yours, I concede, burning red, and I smile.

We are entwined now, in a naked embrace warmed, by oceans clutch, your hand seeks mine in the glimmering sea, and I smile.

We are in excess now, needing, missing, fleeting, bursting, at the fervent seams for one another, I love you, and you smile.

We are climaxing in unison now, desiring, sweating, pulsating, breathing in, rhythmic ecstasy, nothing separating us, “i love you” he fires, and I smile.

We are tearing now, our paths doomed to veer, we shared an epoch, so out of gratitude I smile.

I am burnt out now, sodden without him by my side, In this desolate room, love is so short, and forgetting is so hard. Just to make it through, I try to smile, shards.

Leonard Prittie-Perry

[loisel]

[loisel]

What I'm feeling

AnnotateMidstep, mind changed Heart hurt and chest pains Mouth moved, but no sound We gave up our ground Caught it too late now We’re moving off The cards have been laid down We’re moving

And I try to hold back The hundreds of things I have wanted to ask And I want it so bad (so bad, so bad) Yeah, I want her so bad When you say my name, the way you stare You play these games, it’s truth or dare And I want it so bad (so bad, so bad) Yeah, I want her so bad

Chin up, chest out Feet set, and no doubts You came and you went Our time was so ill spent

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eKRTIPIIsws

[loisel]

Interneting

people endlessly talk about stereotypes/the weather/sports/celebrities/etc. to avoid talking about anything real.... they're just like little speech bubbles people throw back and forth.... but the only real knowledge is self-knowledge.... and that takes honesty and vulnerability....

[mystic-power-deactivated2014060]

[loisel]

I love Space art

[wbotd]

[loisel]

I would have loved to see this from a plane!

[speshuled]

[loisel]

Jews and Racists. lol reminded me of that joke

[loisel]

WISE

If you never ask, the answer is always no

[truebluemeandyou]

DIY Watercolor Texture Techniques from hatefueled on Deviant Art here. Top to bottom: alcohol, salt, blotting, stencils/erasing, sandpaper and wax. You can go to the link for more on each technique.

[loisel]

I'd like to experiment more with paints and textures

[loisel]

Happy almost valentines day. Mahal na mahal kita. 

[loisel]

I have acid rain in my brain and it’s killing the flowers in my heart.

 Marianna Paige

[loisel]

A story my friend wrote

One night I saw a grown man crying on the 24 hour bus back home. He was rambling on incoherently about how we are all living a lie. How we claim to be at least somewhat spiritual people and yet hardly anyone has read the bible. And the shame of all the people who just quote biblical excerpts that suit their ideological motives. "It hurts me, because I see the truth," he sobbed. Before exiting the bus he told his interlocutor, a young man wearing a Jewish skull cap, that he was very glad to have met his acquaintance. Outside on the street, through the smudgy window, I watched him raise his first in the air with complete unquestioning conviction as the bus pulled away. His former interlocutor stiffly raised his arm -- the strangest wave goodbye. What was that all about? I asked the skull capped man. I don't know, he was saying something about Jesus. I could hear the bus driver chuckling to himself. This type of thing probably never got old for him. As we came to the last stop, I thanked the bus driver for the ride and wished the skull capped man a good night. Continuing on my way home, along the grey sidewalks of suburbia, I spotted a group of silhouettes ahead in the distance. As I ventured ever nearer, I came across four teenagers whose faces suggested a night of merriment. We passed one another and my mind began to drift towards thoughts of sleep. Then suddenly, almost imperceptibly, I heard one of the youths singing behind me: What if god was one of us? Just a stranger on a bus trying to make his way home. That night happened some 4 years ago now. And today, as I sit on this bus recounting the distant event, granted somewhat inebriated, I am forever grateful for your ear. I have often wondered what to make of that strange succession of events. Rabbi? Are you awake?

- Josh Mover 2012

[loisel]