do we like that i wrote so consistently for well over a year and then just disappeared??
hehe
anyway now that I'm no longer a shell of a person that was merely existing for everyone else but themselves. I'm still picking things up but if yall wanna help a gal out
Seonghwa doesn’t do parties, and after this experience he’s pretty sure he’s never going to leave his house again
Seonghwa
Genre: Hongjoong’s terrible comfort?? meetcute if you stand 100ft back and squint
w/c: 700
c/w: general feelings of anxiety/unwellness
aka: my husband got an elf bar and i got curious and also died because no one warned me???? how strong those things are???? so i had to focus on literally anything so my heart didn’t explode :3c
dont smoke dont do it i sweartogoddontyoufuckingdare
Seonghwa’s sure he wants to vomit. He can feel it in his cheeks as he takes another shaky breath. He doesn’t want to be here. Wherever here is, at this point his mind is too filled with static to remember. It feels like his whole body is vibrating as he sits on the couch. Fists clenching and unclenching on his thighs, hoping he’ll ground himself.
It doesn’t work. His eyes feel dizzy and he just wants home. He lets his tongue dart out to wet his lips, wincing at just how dry and cracked they had become. He wants to vomit. He doesn't want to taste the artificial cotton candy nicotine that coats the back of his throat. He’d rather let it burn with bile than deal with the pins and needles dancing in his brain. Seonghwa should get up, he realizes that when his heart starts to pound a little harder. He should get some fresh air, stop panicking and maybe go home. But he knows he won’t make it one step.
Seonghwa’s convinced someone has a firm hold on his heart and it only tightens with each breath he takes. That phrase, he thinks, should be romantic. But the tears prickling his eyes aren’t so he forces them open only to grunt in surprise.
“You okay man?”
Hardly.
He’s sure his heart is about to burst.
“Let’s… get you some fresh air?”
He keeps his eyes closed as he’s led through the crowd. Every brush of skin feels gross, sticky and hot and god he just wants out of here. Out of this house, out of this party, fuck he doesn’t even want to be in his own body.
He can only gasp when the cold air hits him.
It does nothing to calm the static in his brain or the shake in his hands but his chest feels a little less tight. He cracks his eyes open, still too afraid to open his mouth, too afraid that his lips might crack and bleed when he speaks. That he’ll vomit and the sting will make his eyes water. Then what?
“You should sit.”
He does. He still doesn’t know who’s talking to him but he finally sees him. Tucked in a hoodie two sizes too large, eyes just as empty as he feels. He swears he’s seen him somewhere before but he can’t place it. He just looks back towards his shoes as the stranger looks at him for a second longer.
“Are your friends here?”
His stomach feels like a brick.
“No one hurt you… did they?”
Seonghwa feels his body convulse at his words. He doesn’t think so, not intentionally anyway. He takes in a shuddered breath and parts his lips just enough to let out a soft no.
“Good.”
It is good, he supposes, that the only thing tormenting him is the nicotine coursing through his body.
“You probably shouldn’t smoke any more.”
Seonghwa opens his mouth a little wider this time, pleading eyes snapping back to boy in the hoodie in a second.
He stares a little bit longer, desperately trying to piece together where he’s seen this man before. The boy’s nose twitches and suddenly Seonghwa knows. The convenient store right on campus, no wonder he couldn’t place him. Hongjoong looks different when he’s not under florescent lights.
“I didn’t know-” his tongue felt heavy as he forced the words out, “it smelt so sweet.”
He snorted.
Seonghwa frowned.
Hongjoong apologizes and Seonghwa’s back to staring down his shoes.
“It stops... it stops feeling like this... right?”
His voice is hardly a whisper and he’s amazed that Hongjoong even heard him.
“I think so, you’ll be okay.”
Seonghwa thinks that Hongjoong is kind of terrible at comforting him, he clenches his fists when another wave of something hits him. He’s stopped trying to figure out what it is but Hongjoong sees the grimace on his face.
“You should eat, come on.”
Seonghwa shakes his head, he doesn’t want to move. Not until he can feel his hands again.
“Not even for a burger? My treat.”
He cracks an eye open, the corners of his mouth twitching up into an involuntary smile.
We’re going to ignore the fact that I was MIA for like 4 months :)
Honestly I just didn’t have any good story ideas AND for the whole month of february I was given the opportunity to start a kpop dance group and when I tell you it was so much fun AAAHHH i loved it. We just had our first performance and I’m just so proud of how well we all did.
Anyway, now that I’m not in the studio 5x a week I’m hoping to have more time to get back to writing <3
I have absolutely no explanation and I will not try to offer any <3
~Masterlist~
you were staring
which would be fine in any situation
but you were staring at this mans hands as he scaled the wall
his fucking hands
get a grip
your friend, bless her soul, had brought you along
something about getting out of the house and not being a hermit
it was bullshit
at least until this giant man with beautiful hands dropped off the wall
you nearly dropped your shoes as he sauntered over to the two of you
“Hey! You brought your friend! I’m Yunho, you ever climbed before?”
You nod, still at a loss for words and partially because you don’t want to elaborate that your experience was one time at a carnival where you only managed to get five feet of the ground
it was embarrassing to say the least
he holds out his hand and you take it a bit surprised at how calloused and dry it feels
quite a contrast to the soft and smooth appearance of the back of his hands
and his veins...
focus FOCUS!
your friend’s climbing a v5 with flying colors
you are struggling with a v0 and Yunho
oh sweet sweet Yunho
is cheering you on as he tells you which hold to use next
You pray he doesn’t see the way your legs and arms shake as you finally reach the top
Speaking of which
You’re fucking terrified of heights
which only adds to the shake
Yunho on the other hand just tells you to drop down
psycho
correction
hot psycho
despite the fact that you’re still sore, you opt to join your friend for another climbing session two days later
“You’re back!”
His excitement at the front desk catches you off guard
“O-oh! Yeah, it was kind of fun.”
He beams and you try not to melt
“Well we just switched the holds around last night, and I’m thinking there’s a v2 with your name on it.”
He gives you a wink and you can only chuckle out of fear
There’s no way in hell you’d be able to conquer that
Nor are you even interested
You came, you saw Yunho and the most ideal plan would be to hide in the bathroom for twenty minutes and leave
right?
You grunt as you hit the mat for maybe the thirtieth time
stupid Yunho
stupidly hot Yunho, you correct yourself
“It usually helps if you plan out the route from the ground.”
You’re startled and you look up to a bright smile that most definitely says “I’ve seen you fall on your ass one too many times in the last hour, let me spare you any more embarrassment.”
gotta love a gentleman
“makes sense” you sigh out
it does not make sense
“You keep getting caught mid route so I’d suggest...” he crouches down, leaning in as he points to the colored wall
“Try leading with your left foot instead of your right, should help you clear it!”
The bastard was right
You let out a little cheer once you hit the top, partially out of excitement and partially out of fear
When you drop down your legs are still a bit wobbly so you start falling back
into two strong arms that just so happened to already be there
huh
Butterflies erupt as you look up to see Yunho beaming back at you
When was this man not smiling?
“You did it!”
“I did it!” you mimic after him, still caught in his hold mind you
You almost almost, protest when he straightens you back out
But you see something that catches you off guard
Is he?
Is he blushing??
“I’d say this calls for celebration.”
Damn straight it does
“Celebration huh?”
Yunho nods quickly, “I got an hour long break and I know a really good place up the road if you have time.”
You’d play it cool but that damn smile has you giddy
Seokmin would give you world if he could, but he probably should say no to this one thing
oh- my -god she’s writing again??? and for SEVENTEEN???? who is she??? Hi yes I wrote this in 10 mins because DK brainrot anyway send your seventeen hc requests my way and I’ll try my best okayloveyoubye <3
~Masterlist~
He’s trying so hard to be serious
because he has to be
but oh my god
ohmygod
you have Seokmin fighting for his life right now
He was so excited to have you over for dinner tonight
He P R E P A R E D
Shower?
done
Teeth?
brushed
Table?
Set with delicious food
and you?
Well.....
You’re standing in front of him pouting
And he knows he can wipe that pout away with a single kiss
but that’s just a little difficult right now
“We can’t.”
He’s hardly ever told you no, and especially not like this
Which, given the circumstances, you get but
“Pleaseeeee? I mean just look at him Seokmin! You know I couldn’t leave him on the street!”
You are of course referring to the kitten you have bundled up in your sweatshirt
Seokmin has to admit that the sight is pulling at his heart strings
But for his own sanity he has to stay strong
He’s about to tell you that now’s not the best time for a pet
And maybe a puppy would be better in the long run
he doesn’t even need to mention his allergy because you both know how the night ended when you brought him to your friends house
So it’s settled
No cats
He takes in a deep breath to prepare for his lecture
But then the little burrito lets out a small mew and his whole façade drops
“I suppose one night-”
You rush past him in a fit of giggles and he’s barely able to process the kiss you gave him
“Thank you love!”
It wasn’t exactly how he pictured date night
well, he did picture you and him curled up on the couch
but not with you cooing over a kitten and him double fisting tissue boxes
Jongho’s just a little nervous to introduce you to the members for the first time. It’s not like he’s been keeping it a secret for longer than he should have. >.>
Jongho x reader
Genre: Fluff, established relationship, Jongho loves you so much
w/c: 1k
I swear, if anyone ever requests Jongho anything I will always provide a mini novel I love writing for him <3 Requested
~ Masterlist ~
He’s not nervous, he’s so not nervous, what would he even have to be nervous about? It’s not like Yeosang has been questioning his ‘coffee runs’ that just happen to take a few hours at a time. And he’s most certainly not running out of people to say he’s facetiming because you can only say it was your mother a handful of times before it gets suspicious. But Mingi’s not suspicious. Nor is Hongjoong.
Jongho visibly shudders at the very thought of Hongjoong confronting him about his less than stellar actions. Perhaps he should just come clean.
You stir on his chest and the war in his mind settles for a moment. Nuzzling your cheek further into him before your breathing settles once again reminds him of why he fell in love with you in the first place. The little things.
He holds you just a little tighter, planting soft kisses to the top of your head.
He’s going to come clean.
He’s going to introduce you to the boys.
Somehow this feels worse than introducing you to his parents.
By a lot.
“Afternoon.” he says once you finally open your eyes.
You give him a sleepy smile that makes your eyes shut once again and he’s telling himself that it’ll be okay.
“I wanna do something tonight.”
You hum at his request, shifting so you can get a better view of him.
“I’ll run to the store to grab us some wine then.”
“No, no. I was thinking of going out-”
“Oh! I thought we weren’t supposed to.”
“It’s a private event, no cameras I promise.”
He watches your eyes light up at the thought and it hurts his heart that he’s had to keep you hidden for so long.
He’ll have to apologize for that too.
“Help me pick out my outfit then?”
“Of course baby.”
~~~
“Didn’t I tell you it was casual?” Jongho chuckles as he watches you squat in front of the stove.
Your eyes don’t leave the pastries baking away as you hum in response.
“So what are you doing?”
“Well, I figure since I’m meeting the guys I should bring something-” you blush when you turn and see Jongho smiling at you. “If they don’t like me, they’ll at least like my cooking.”
Jongho can’t help the scoff that comes out as he eases you back up.
“They’re going to love you, I swear.”
You let out a content sigh as you settle against his chest, a single question has been buzzing in your mind since he brought up meeting the guys in the first place.
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
Jongho raises a brow at your concern so you continue.
“I mean, it’s just- I know I’ve been a secret for so long that-”
He cuts you off with a kiss, confident in knowing that if you finished that sentence his heart would shatter.
“I’m so sure, it’s something I should have done a long time ago and I’ll apologize for that later because I think your pastries are about to burn.”
“The croissants!”
~~
His stomach churns as he leads you to the dorms, you’re giddy, babbling on about how excited you are to finally chat with Seonghwa. Jongho only hums as he punches in the code. He didn’t exactly tell the guys he was bringing you over, he just said he needed to have a group meeting. But as excited chatter comes from the living room Jongho can’t help the sinking feeling that this was a terrible idea. He tells you to stay put in the entryway, hands trembling when he catches Seonghwa’s eyes.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, things are fine. I just… I have something I need to tell, well rather show you guys.”
He calls out to you in the smallest voice he can muster, watching as your smile grows when you peek around the corner.
“Hi! I’m Y/n! Jongho’s told me a lot about you guys.” you turn to Jongho with a warm smile, lacing your hand with his.
“Jongho…” he can tell by Hongjoong’s tone that he needs to explain himself.
“We’re dating, we’ve been together for almost a year and I love Y/n too much to keep them hidden any longer. So please welcome them warmly and forgive me for not being truthful.”
The two of you hear a few small hums of what you can only hope to be approval and you shift your attention to the basket in your hand.
“I brought homemade croissants!”
Yunho and Wooyoung latch onto you almost immediately, they’re thrilled. Jongho has a partner that bakes?! Immediate seal of approval. But Jongho doesn’t worry about San or Mingi as the two offer proper introductions, nor does he bat an eye when Yeosang shifts to small talk. He grimaces slightly when he overhears Seonghwa explain how worried he was over Jongho’s behavior recently but he’s so relieved to know it was you.
But Hongjoong is less than thrilled as he stands next to Jongho, watching you blend in seamlessly with the rest of the group.
“Anything else you have to say?”
Jongho lets out a sigh, “No, this was it. Give them a chance, please.”
“I’m not worried about y/n. I’m worried about you feeling the need to keep a secret like this for so long.”
“I was afraid of the company telling me no and honestly, I still don’t know what I’d do if they did.”
“We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it, just for now, no more secrets okay?”
“Deal.”
~~
The night ends in a similar spot, curled up in Jongho’s lap while the other members slowly fall asleep to the movie playing in the background.
“Well?” you whisper, placing a quick peck to his temple before continuing. “Was it worth it?”
“Mmm, I’d think so.”
He can sense the sleepy smile on your lips as you curl in further, leaning into the crook of his neck.
“No regrets?”
“The only regret is not introducing you sooner, “I’m sorry.”
“All is forgiven bear, love you.”
He presses a kiss to the top of your head, “Love you too.”
He knows he fucked up the moment he hears those words leave your mouth so Yunho can only hope, a year later, that he can be what he should have been from the start. There.
Yunho x reader
Genre: lovers to exes, mild angst, a dash of fluff, redemption????
w/c: 1.1k
a Yunho fic??? Who is she
~ Masterlist ~
Yunho doesn’t think he can laugh like this for much longer. Fake, hardly holding onto the words she’s saying as his eyes flit over to you once more. Out of habit his lips start to curl up into a smile, one that he forces himself to stop as he looks away.
You looked happy at least.
But then again, so did he.
He can’t help but watch you from across the bar as the girl he’s listening to excuses herself. He knows the crinkle of your eyes as you smile. Your hands fly to another man's arm and Yunho knows it’s because your favorite song came on. You’re no doubt giggling as you try to pull him to the dance floor. But just like Yunho had done, the other man let you drift away.
He can see the smallest tremor in your lip as the guy turns away. The definition of a heartache as you stand still amongst the dancing bodies.
Yunho knows you too well, so he turns before you can spot him at the bar. He’s not sure his presence will make you feel any better but he so desperately wants it to.
Maybe he’s the last person you want to see but his judgment doesn’t stop him from looking back for you. You’re easy to spot, shoving your way through the crowd towards the entrance.
Yunho ditches his drink and a handful of cash on the bar top as he chases after you.
He catches up to you at the first crosswalk, already taking off his jacket to drape around you. He hesitates when he sees the glint of tears streaming down your face.
“Y/n?”
“Am I really that bad to dance with?” he hears the choked out words and his breath catches.
~~~~
“Yunho, you know I don’t ask for a lot-”
“I know baby but you have to understand my work schedule, it’s just- you know I can’t commit to a lot of things like this.” he wedges his phone between his shoulder and his ear to readjust his hair.
“I know but-”
“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
“Yunho I had this planned for months… You knew this.”
He misses the way your voice trembles as he fumbles with his phone, bringing it back up to his ear.
“I know, I know. But I had to be at this conference to close the deal. I’ll be back home as soon as I sign the papers and then we can celebrate. Dinner, drinks, dancing, all the things you love baby I promise.”
“Okay.”
~~~~
“Love? You home?”
He catches you doing the dishes with a large bouquet of roses and enough kisses to make you dizzy. You giggle as he pauses, glancing around for the source of the song you had playing, a smile forming as he turns back to you.
“I know this song.”
The one that had been playing as you two had slow danced by the pier, the first ‘I love you’ whispered shortly after.
“I sure hope you do.” you chuckle as you wrap your arms around his neck.
He slips out of your arms the moment his phone dings.
“Yu-”
“Sorry, I have to take this.”
“But…” you raise your hand but you’re reaching out to nothing as you hear him close the bedroom door.
Maybe, once the phone call ends, he’ll scoop you back into his arms like he did that night four years ago and dance with you once again. Your heart can only race as the door opens and he looks at you with pleading eyes.
You stop breathing.
“Raincheck on the dance?”
“Again?” you can only manage a whisper.
“I’ll be back by the end of the night.”
You turn back to the discarded dishes before the first tear fell.
“Yeah…”
~~~~
“I just want to know where it went wrong!” Yunho cried out, “Please! I thought we were okay.”
You couldn’t bring yourself to look at the way he sobbed, “Yunho, you were never home.”
“I can change that!”
“So why didn’t you?”
“Because I didn’t know there was something wrong! You never told me!”
“I tried! But every time you just said you’d make it up to me-”
“And I did!”
“You didn’t Yunho!”
“The flowers, the food, my love!? Was it not good enough?” he begs as he throws his hands in the air.
“They were band aids.”
“For what problem?! What do you want?!”
“I just wanted to be first for once Yunho! I wanted to feel like you spending time with me wasn’t just a convenience in your schedule. I just wanted to dance-”
“Why! God why are you so hung up on the stupid dancing?”
Your tears stopped the moment the words left his mouth, your body tensing at the fact that he didn’t know. The ache in your chest finally collapses in on itself as you solemnly speak.
“Because it was the only time it felt like you truly cared.”
~~~~
Yunho feels his heart rip out of his chest once again as he lets the jacket settle on your shoulders.
“You’re not. I promise you’re not.”
You scoff at the word and Yunho can’t help the grimace that ghosts his features. You were right, as much as he loved you, he had put you last.
Which is why he’s tugging you along to the nearest park and begging you to give him just a moment as he digs through his phone.
“Yunho it’s late I-”
“Do you know what day it is?”
You can’t help but clench your jaw, of course you knew.
“Would have been five years.”
“And I can’t apologize enough that I neglected and took your love for granted for all those years, over a stupid ass job of all things.”
You tug on the hem of his jacket as he speaks, his scent still making you feel at home.
“But maybe, if you’re willing,” you raise a brow as he tosses his phone into the grass, a familiar melody following soon after. “I’d like to start again.”
His hand shakes as he holds it out, a smile just beginning to falter as he waits for an answer. He won’t force you but he’s so desperate for a yes. His heart races as you look back to him and he’s terrified of what you might say.
“We can dance.” he hurries out, “We can dance for as long as you want, wherever you want. No interruptions.”
You let out a soft sigh and Yunho scrambles for more, tears brimming his eyes as he tries not to choke over his words.
“I- I’ll be there…”
“Yunho,” you take his hand and he feels the weight of the world lift off his chest, “the song’s almost over.”
He can’t pull you in fast enough, letting out a sigh of relief as the two of you sway in the lamplight. Yunho’s aware he can’t make years up to you in one night but as you pull him just a little closer, he knows this is the perfect place to start.
