look for heaven

mascara running down her little bambi eyes. . .

[lolapaciniz]

itsgracecardinal‌:

“Really? I feel like I saw you there every time I was there. That place definitely won’t be the same without you. Well, what do you recommend?”

“yeah, it was... uh- stuff- with my dad. lot of stuff. but there’s richmond street, um, and the district eatery. doesn’t really compare to some good mexican food, but it is what it is!”

[lolapaciniz]

“oh... i don’t actually work at the cantina anymore. but i can totally show you some better restaurants!”

[lolapaciniz]

frcnkiie‌:

“how could this have happened? it’s so awful…i wish we could go back in time and change things. like, why hasn’t time travel been invented yet?”

“it’s scary. you never think this kinda thing can happen here in toronto - but we have to be strong. for holly j. for everyone.”

[lolapaciniz]

rebeccaxbaker‌:

“So, I’m going to be sending some flowers to Ms. Sinclair’s family. During this tragedy, we’ll need all of the positivity that we can get. I’m taking donations. Would you like to contribute?”

“oh, that’s so sweet! what kind of flowers were you thinking? i heard white roses were for sympathy.”

[thetruthwecanthandle]

[wordsnquotes]

I am that clumsy human, always loving, loving, loving. And loving. And never leaving.

Frida Kahlo, The Diary Of Frida Kahlo: An Intimate Self-Portrait. (via wordsnquotes)

[raspberry-chocolatte]

[bakwaaas]

[wnq-writers]

She possesses an innocence so destructive, she put angels to shame.

zosraus (via halcyonwrites)

[cvstleofglass]

nicole dollanganger // sweet girl

[cvstleofglass]

Fall Out Boy / Heaven’s Gate

[yourthoughtsspace-deactivated20]

Baby Girl // Thought #11 // @healingsuggestions @tthematics

[lovelustquotes]

They called her naive for believing in the good in people. But she was just a loving soul, who thought that even monsters needed someone, who truly believed, they were angels once and they can be it again. And yes, maybe that was naive, but this world needed people like her.

Veronika Jensen (via lovelustquotes)

[kissedbythevoid]

[asoftwrongness]

female empowerment (am I doing it right?)

[lolapaciniz]

stupid little reflection on the abortion stuff for lola idk lol

having an abortion wasn’t easy. quite frankly, it also wasn’t something that lola envisioned herself having as a 15 year old girl. when she first read her pregnancy test, she couldn’t believe her eyes. something about the two lines made her head swirl, and though she tried again, and again, the result didn’t change. it wasn’t something she could tell her father about, either; he was a sweet and well-meaning man, but lola was his little girl, and she was sure he’d lose his mind if she ever spoke a word of what was going on inside of her. especially considering the baby was the spawn of the older hollingsworth socialite lola had her eyes on.

of course, there was the reassurance that yael had given her. nicki minaj had an abortion in high school, they had said. lola had been majorly unresponsive, too fixated on twirling the test in her hands. nicki minaj had ascended to celebrity stardom, anyway, and what was lola? a tiny, scared, teenage girl? she couldn’t believe it, she couldn’t believe it. moreover, this was finally her chance to embrace her past, to let go of the person she once was and learn to be herself for who she wholly was. but it was never that easy. no, not when the hollingsworths could ever have that ruining their reputation; not their beloved 16 year old son knocking up a younger girl. that would be ridiculous.

as it followed, any plans lola had of speaking of her abortion publicly were out of the question. the hollingsworths were quick to pay her off, paying everything to cover the abortion and then some. all in exchange for her silence: never to speak of it, never to acknowledge it, never to do anything that could infringe on the family’s good name as a result of her brash, promiscuous stupidity. and she agreed - she had to, anyways, what with how greatly she feared the influence the family had. and immediately, it put a strain on her relationship with miles, lola choosing to blame him above all else, somehow deluding herself into believing it was his idea. 

she was scared, more scared than she could recall ever being. with no one to talk to, no one to tell, what was she to do? the great exception, of course, was yael, who accompanied her without a second thought despite gripes regarding their history project. they called the uber, held lola’s hand in the accompanying car ride over. when they stepped out, it seemed like a foreign world, like they were slabs of meat in a cage, surrounded by starving tigers. the eyes on the protesters were cold, unforgiving; any last shreds of sympathy they once had were long gone once they could get a good enough look at lola, to see the hair, the stature, to truly grasp how young she was. “abortion is murder,” they would chant, circling lola and yael with their graphic signs in hand. “why are you going to kill your baby?”

lola could hardly spare a glance at the signs they carried, the brutal imagery of late-term abortions and the affects they had on the fetuses. while she cast her head in shame, yael was quick to tense, holding their arm out to guard the protesters off of abortion. “get away from her,” they snarled, brow furrowed from the shield of their glasses. “come on, lo, it’s okay.” and despite yael’s coos as they helped to lead her inside, lola couldn’t help but ponder: was she a murderer? was she a bad person for doing this? furthermore, had it even been her choice, anymore? she knew of the pro-choice debacle, but what about when this was, for the most part, against her will? 

“i’m scared,” lola had whispered to yael, fingers forming around the other’s wrist. “i- i can’t do this. what if they hurt me?”

yael was quick to frown with sympathy, elbow still jutting out to fend off predatory protesters. “i won’t let them hurt you, okay?” immediately, they grabbed their cell phone from their pocket, holding it up towards the protesters. “put your hands on us and i will call the police,” they said, glaring at the crowd before them. “go ahead and protest, but do not touch her.” watching yael hold out their phone, lola made a quick dash to the door, yael following with one last scowl to the crowd outside.

once they were inside, once they were greeted by the calm and gentle-voiced employees inside, things seemed to get better. yael remained in the waiting room as lola went to her appointment, carefully examining the footage from the events outside. the abortion went well, no complications or major pain occurring. she couldn’t deny she felt different, though. it was just as the clinicians warned, and yet she still felt a sense of surprise at the emptiness in her chest. “am i going to die?” she asked, voice squeaky, weak.

“no, you’re going to be okay,” one of the employees replied, looking at her sympathetically. “it’s normal to feel a sense of loss after an abortion. just make sure you take it easy, alright? we’re going to have someone escort you back outside, and for about a week from today, try to avoid sitting in water. we just want to avoid infection, okay?” 

lola took to ignoring the streak of tears that had formed, giving a quiet nod as she grabbed yael’s hand and followed the employee outside. once the uber arrived, they got in, and were off. 

and just like that, it was over.

[greysanatomywisdom]

You were helpless. You were a baby. A beautiful, smart, funny little girl, and no one stood up for you. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.

Richard Webber, (No Good At Saying Sorry (One More Chance) 5x21)