Untitled

just random little thoughts i have and stories from work

[gramarobin]

[lonely-lifeguard]

so this just happened

okay so i was guarding a part of my facility where there’s basketball hoops above the water for people to shoot balls in. 

no big deal. 

except today 

out of NOWHERE 

this asdfghjkl BALL 

hits me in the fire-trucking FACE. 

i, understandably am confused. 

i look to my coworker. 

she’s laughing at me. whatever. i don’t care. it’s not like i gave her a tofu sandwich a meet manager gave me. 

ungrateful. 

but anyway. 

i continue my route along the side of the pool. 

i reach the end of my routine, and this man.

let me take a moment to describe this man

he looks late forties to early fifties, and has a neon green mohawk, a ton of piercings, and tatoos galore. for the sake of accuracy, we’re gonna call him punk-rock mohawk.

so punk-rock mohawk rises from the waters like an emo jesus.

arms open, he envelopes my in a wet hug and whispers ever so softly:

“i’m sorry for almost hitting you with that ball”

[lonely-lifeguard]

a guy in my german class just called our teacher “master”

our world is doomed

[forgondor]

i have a friend who has kinda bad eczema on their right hand but their left hand is fine and thats because acidity makes eczema worse and that includes vaginal acidity and my friend is both a lesbian and a slut so they finger a lot of people and that fucks up the hand they use (their right hand). Anyways do you think BBC sherlock would deduce that by looking at my friend’s hands

[sanjidysphoria]

nothing couldve prepared me for the last sentence

[lonely-lifeguard]

my coworker just stole a swim cap from a child

[were--ralph]

Tweet of the year

[lonely-lifeguard]

stOP RUNNING ON THE FRICK-FRACKING WET PAVEMENT YOU HOOLIGANS

[grosslyoversimplifiedpolitics]

[ID: Flirting as a form of Psychological Warfare]

[lonely-lifeguard]

my friend just called apples the white people of fruit and i have never heard anything more accurate

[nicostiel]

#bye tumblr 2022 it’s been fun

[greensmile-thatisnotdream]

@staff This is YOUR fault...

This guy is now a tumblr sexyman

@staffs-secret-blog

[badjokesbyjeff]

“The best way to a mans heart is through his stomach.”

The surgeon was fired later that day.

[heritageposts]

made a beginners guide for the twitter newbies hope this helps <3

[agathas-megacoven]

Cas does not get the credit he deserves for all the drama he caused on the show. 15 seasons of supernatural and like 6 of those were a direct result of Cas and the drama that ensued from Cas being Cas doing Cas things. The disasters that can be caused by an angelic himbo having an existential crisis and having a crush on Dean Winchester smh.

[lonely-lifeguard]

apparently the desert is bad for your face

[lonely-lifeguard]

i’ve got three dollars in my wallet and a shitload of issues, but i’m alive. i’m alive. how beautiful is that?

[lonely-lifeguard]

it’s official, my baby sister has turned into a cishet white boy