catch me

i'm falling

[currentrotation]

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[without--fear]

[lacelies]

Never before || Lucian and Ethan

█ ▌ ❝ I’ve been around for a long time, but I have never met anyone like you before. ❞

[lonelyethan-blog]

"Um . . Thanks, I think?" he replied awkwardly.

[thomasxbenson]

Monsters || Ethan and Thomas

[thomasxbenson]

Thomas came back to reality. A guys voice asking if he was okay. He blinked and shook looking over at the guy. “Y-Yeah, I’m fine…what?”

[lonelyethan-blog]

"You just looked . . kinda out of it," he said with a small shrug. "Are you sure you're alright?" He wouldn't ask a third time, but he was still concerned. 

[lacelies]

Useless || Ethan and Lucian

█ ▌ ❝ What do you want from me? ❞ He’s muttering through a swell of tears, and a runny nose. His face a bright slushed pink, with red blood like undertones. Oh, what Lu, are you snapping already? Hopefully it’s just a bad day, it’d better be or else you won’ make it long here and we don’t want that. He turns to the face in his doorway, a new, fresh malice in his eyes, ❝ Get out, get out of my room. ❞ His voice breaks off in a small crack.

[lonelyethan-blog]

"I-- Nothing. I just saw you crying, and I thought-- No, never mind. I'll just . . " Ethan turned around as though preparing to leave, clearly flustered. He didn't actually go anywhere, though. Instead, he simply paused, before looking back to the boy.

"Do you want me to . . get a nurse or something? I don't know what else I can do . . . " He hated seeing people upset, but was terrible at comforting them.

[thomasxbenson]

Monsters || Ethan and Thomas

Thomas kept hearing the voice. The voice of the monster he had been seeing for the past few months. The figure stood in front of him laughing. He kept rubbing his neck telling himself it wasn’t real, it can’t be real.

[lonelyethan-blog]

Generally, Ethan didn't initiate conversation, but the other guy looked pretty out of it. "Is, uh, everything alright?" he asked uncertainly, looking a little concerned. 

[manoftomorrrow]

Curiosity Killed the Cat || Jack and Ethan

[lonelyethan-blog]

What are you talking about?

{ He looks more confused than anything else, although he's a little curious. }

[coral]

If no one in the entire world cared about you, did you really exist at all?

Cassandra Clare, Clockwork Angel (via feellng)

[pheebsthegreat]

Switcharoo || Sawyer and Ethan

Sawyer looked at her plate of food, unsure of what to do. The smell disgusted her and she was expected to eat a tiny bit. The girl looked over at the person at the table next too her and held up her notepad; “ Want some? “

[lonelyethan-blog]

Ethan paused, unsure. He was pretty sure he wasn't supposed to take other people's food, but he was hungry, and the girl didn't appear to want it.

"Sure, I guess," he said awkwardly. "Do you want to just . . switch plates?"

[marixstrider]

Unexpected Visit

All she was looking for was her whiteboard. It could have been anywhere in this huge place. As she walked around, she had searched several rooms already for it, and was on her third one. Marina turned into the room, only to find that the resident of this room was still there. She bit her lips, and averted her eyes childishly. She had to say why she was there, didn’t she?

[lonelyethan-blog]

Ethan had been sitting in the corner of the room for what felt like hours, trying to find the courage to get up and go back to his room. Whenever he tried to go, anxiety at being out of contact with the walls flooded through him, and he always went back to his previous spot.

The entrance of a stranger was unexpected, but it was also unwanted - he didn’t appreciate the company in this rather embarrassing moment of his life. He wished she’d just go, but that was doubtful - she’d seen him now, after all.

"Um . . Hey there."

[wakefield-rp-deactivated2018070]

Read More

[lonelyethan-blog]

Ethan Williams will be moving to Wakefield Asylum

please unfollow if not a part of Wakefield

[st0nemm]

[roseandfell-deactivated20140706]

First Impressions || Rose and

[roseandfell-deactivated20140706]

"Trust me, you couldn’t pay me to get any closer to you right now.” Rose snapped at him impatiently, her chest heaving as tremors racked her body. Fantastic, it was just her luck to be getting in trouble for upsetting some lunatic during one of her panic attacks. That was not, unfortunately, what she wanted to get in trouble for. She wanted to get in trouble for smashing a glass window open with a clock. This rude prick had interrupted her.

However, his panic had a fortunate sobering effect on her, and the weight ebbed a little. She fell back against the wall and slid down to the floor too, knowing the worst of that episode had probably passed. Rose would thank the psycho across from her if she wasn’t frightened of upsetting him further. Besides, the room was still suffocating. Perhaps she still had the nerve to grab the clock …

Where had it gone? She looked around for the small wooden thing and spotted it, a couple feet away. Rose leaned and snatched it, resolving herself to stare at its gold-trimmed face in lieu of breaking the window with it. After a few moments, she looked up. Pursed-lip breathing, she studied the man across the hall from her. “I’m s-sorry, like I said.” She offered, timid.

[lonelyethan-blog]

He was unhappy with the fact that she snapped at him, but didn't protest, although he believed it was her fault. She was the one that had to come racing down the hall towards him, after all. If it hadn't been for that, his almost-alright day wouldn't have been so utterly ruined. "G-Good," he managed to stutter, holding in the need to cry with some difficulty.

The fact that she came down onto the floor as well only sent his mind into further panic. Ethan pushed himself further away from her and closer to the wall, wanting to remain as far away from her as possible. She was some sort of nutter, he was sure; otherwise, she wouldn't be here. Maybe she'd been sent here for something like . . issues with escaping. Or violence. That was always a possibility, although he hoped it wasn't that. He'd had enough trouble with Celeste, whenever that had been, and she was at least twice his age (if not more).

Another apology came from the stranger, which he couldn't simply ignore this time. "Ok-kay." That was all he had. He couldn't accept it, because what she had done wasn't alright. It wasn't something he could forgive her for, and he doubted he ever would. Touching was the worst thing in the world, and she'd gone and run her body into his. It was disgusting, not to mention terrifying.

[roseandfell-deactivated20140706]

First Impressions || Rose and

Rose paced down one of the long, labyrinthine corridors. She was tense and walking at an increasingly quick pace because it was starting to get dark and hard to breathe. Of course, Rose knew logically that the air wasn’t thinning as the light disappeared, but as it grew darker and the walls started to close in from every side, logic had started to crumble at every faintest gust of wind. Metaphorical wind, naturally. All the windows were closed, probably locked just as the doors were.

Locked in, trapped. As though she were an animal, meaningless and shallow like a bird in a cage. They kept her there under the pretense of healing a broken wing, but she didn’t want or need this sort of help. Nothing about her wanted mending, and nothing about her was going to stand here and let the walls come closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and—

Rose was breathing hard, tearing through the halls now as she tried to catch up with her racing mind. She was on the verge of tears but it felt more like she was on the verge of suffocating, and all she could think about was the crushing weight on her chest that seemed to grow heavier with each passing moment. Was she running to clear her thoughts or to blur them? Perhaps blurring them would be kinder, wouldn’t it?

Then she rounded the corner and saw the lovely ornamental clock sitting on a small table. She picked it up, her head spinning. It had some weight to it, though not as much as she had hoped. Never matter. Breathless, she turned to the nearest window and sped toward it with every intention of shattering it to pieces. Instead, Rose slammed right into another person who was simply passing by, and the little clock fell from her hand and clattered across the floor.

"I’m sorry," she said, trying to recover with a smile.

[lonelyethan-blog]

Ethan was actually having an alright day for once. He hadn't brushed up against anyone yet, and while he'd found out that he had a new roommate, he had yet to meet him. Everything was going well, for the first time in forever, and he was happy just walking down the halls.

His happiness shattered in an instant when someone collided with him. He gave a a yelp, drawing back and scratching at his arms. The touch burned like fire; he couldn't help it. It felt like he was dying, over and over again.

"Don't-- Don't touch m-me," he said, backing up against the wall. His eyes were fixed on her, careful to track her every movement. It was dangerous for him to stay, but he couldn't go anywhere yet. Ethan wasn't able to move a few feet at the moment, much less leave the hallway. Her apology didn't help anything. All he cared about was the fact that she was way too close, and he had nowhere else to go.

Very slowly, he sank down to the ground, covering his face with his hands. "Just d-don't come c-closer. Don't. Please." His words were pathetic little whimpers, but it didn't matter right then. He was in pain, both inside and out.

[jude-pannebaker]

Into the Hollow || Jude and Ethan

[jude-pannebaker]

[The boy is a wreck and as tired as Jude is from sleep deprivation, he’s feeling nicer than usual. The other day, that weird kid with the glasses was kind enough to ignore Jude’s moment of weakness. He’ll return the favor for this weird blond. He doesn’t know how to go about offering this boy advice, though. He’s bad with words and often hurts people more than he helps them. Jude supposes he’ll just offer the next best thing.]

Look, dude, you look pretty fucked up. You wanna go get a snack or somethin’? They’re not supposed to serve us anything, but I know a guy that might sneak us something from the kitchen. He’s kinda nervous, though, so you gotta be cool or he’s not gonna give us anything.

[It’s nice having money in a place like this. All of Jude’s peers are loaded with cash, sure, but none of the staff members are. It’s easy to slip them a fifty for a dessert cake or two. Jude only has a twenty dollar bill, but he’s sure that’s more than enough to give them something to nibble on.] 

You wanna come with me or not? It’s up to you. You better not rat on me, though.

[lonelyethan-blog]

[Is food the answer to everything? He's honestly feeling a little nauseous, but the older guy's offering the only good thing right now - a distraction. Ethan feels like he has no choice but to accept; if he doesn't, he'll break down. Then again, there's always the chance that he'll accidentally brush by someone else on the way to the kitchen, which is terrifying just to think about. He'll have to risk it, though; he can't chance having a panic attack in the middle of the hallway.]

U-Um, yeah. Yes. Sure.

[He's repeating the same thing over and over, he knows, but he wants to make sure he's getting his point across. The blond's nervous, after all, and if he misspeaks, he might get into trouble. A lot of trouble. A simple misunderstanding might lead to a physical confrontation, which he's really not up for right now. Hell, he threw up all over that redhead, although it's something he hates to think about it. Right now, he'll probably just slip into unconsciousness if something happens.]

I won't t-tell.

[The seventeen-year-old shifts awkwardly from foot to foot, averting his gaze from just to the side of the older guy to the floor. Even looking at him makes him feel sick; he really doesn't want to vomit again. Determined not to do so, he focuses on that, but in doing so his concentration slips. One hand wanders over to touch the other arm, and his fingers start to scratch at the skin there, like he's digging to get something out without realizing it. If he'd noticed, he would've stopped it, but he doesn't have any idea that he's hurting himself. Even a simple distraction can do that to him.]

[jude-pannebaker]

Into the Hollow || Jude and Ethan

[jude-pannebaker]

[Jude sucks in his cheeks as he beholds the boy. The blond is a nervous wreck. He looks like he’s about ready to fall apart at even the slightest provocation. While Jude likes to poke and prod and push people to their boundaries, he’s feeling generous today. Maybe he’ll cut the weirdo a little slack. He won’t show the freak his goods or anything like that, but at least he won’t make him cry.]

What’s the matter with you? You have a bad session or somethin’? You don’t have Blackburn, do you? I guess I’d be crying, too, if I were leaving her office. The woman is a certified bitch.

[It might not be smart to speak so poorly about his doctor, but Jude doesn’t care. The woman had thought his name was Arnold and had called him it for the entirety of his session. He’s sure calling her a “bitch” couldn’t put him any lower in her eyes. He already knows how deeply she hates him.]

My tip: just nod your head a lot whenever she speaks. If she pauses for a long time, just apologize and say you were really thinking about her words and you’ll consider them next time you do somethin’ bad. Try not to use it too often, though. She caught onto me. Now she’s saying shit like, “If you’re listening to me, repeat what I just said.” 

[lonelyethan-blog]

[He's really a mess. It's taken him a moment, but he sees that now. No wonder Connell doesn't really seem to interact with him anymore - much less anyone else. Maybe people can sense the fact that he's pathetic, and it drives them away. Ethan's realized that he doesn't like being alone, so this is really driving him nuts. Jude's the first person he's spoken to since - well, since who the hell knows when. The seventeen-year-old's mind is too frazzled to remember who else he's spoken to lately.]

I . . I d-don't have her. I've got-- I've got Peter. Dieterle. Doctor Dieterle.

[If he's not careful, he really will start crying. That disgusting feeling under his skin isn't fading at all, and he just wants to scratch through his arms until he can get it out. Then again, that'll make things worse - even touching himself right now will lead to a total panic attack.

Realizing that the older guy's said something supposedly helpful, he gives a small nod, having barely listened at all. It probably won't help him, since he's got Peter, but it might.]

Um, thanks. Yeah. Thanks.

[Thanks is the word he's looking for, he's fairly sure. If it's the wrong word, he'll probably get a weird look, but he might still get that if it's the correct word. The only thing he can really go on is the fact that if he gets no odd looks, it's the right word. That's all he has to go on, which is kind of bad - usually, his memory is better than this, but he feels like his mind is scrambled. There's a pounding sensation at the base of his skull, which is making thinking just that much harder.]