P-Sawyer, LonerLike

Music and Art are the gateways to another world- One of expression and self satisfaction. Remember: One second is all it takes. So do with it what you will. I write a lot too besides sculpting. In Mod we trust.

[soaveintermezzo]

[godshideouscreation]

*rips bong while on deathbed*

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

Always

[perrfectly]

[slightlyrebelliouswriter23]

bonus points if someone comes in and interrupts you and you have to start all over.

[lightheartedsuggestion]

Stop being so afraid to be confident. There’s actually a lot of great things about you. Don’t deny those things, embrace them. You’re beautiful and smart and kind and you need to stop punishing yourself for acknowledging it and trying to believe it.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

[absurdology]

Go to a party and stay sober. Listen to the way your drunk classmates talk when they don’t plan to remember tonight when they wake up. Never talk about these experiences, just keep them for yourself. Start driving in one direction on the highway after school one day, pretending like you’re running away. Blast bad pop music and sing along. Stop in the suburbs when your mom calls you to come home, but buy your little brother a cupcake before you turn back around. Kiss your best friend. It doesn’t matter what sexuality or gender you are or they are. It doesn’t matter if it’s a peck or you escalate to tongue. You’ll laugh about it later, but it will always make you smile just for the memory. Smoke a cigarette. Let it burn your throat. Cough, loudly. Take a stand for something you believe in. When half your school laughs at you, take it with pride. Someone agrees, even if they’re too scared to say so. Make enemies. Make the kind of mistakes that cause your life to implode. Lose everyone and everything to these mistakes. Only when you fall will you find out that you can pick yourself back up. Sit on someone’s roof and talk for hours. Forget about dinner and tell your origin stories. Let your guard down while the dog barks below. Talk about god. Listen. Steal Bourbon from your parents’ liquor cabinet and put it in a water bottle beneath your bathroom sink. Spike your tea with it when you think you’ve hit rock bottom. Pour the whole thing down the drain when it’s too strong for you. Become a stereotype. Buy a record player and combat boots. Wear all black. Dye your hair bright blue and get your ear pierced three times. Don’t care when people laugh at you. Make wishes at 11:11. Wear your pajamas backwards in the hopes of a snow day. Look for answers at the bottom of a bottle. Pretend writing things on your arms makes you special. Believe in anything. Believe in everything. Open every book and look around every corner. You’ll never look like this or move like this or think like this again. Enjoy it while it lasts or hate every second. But feel. Feel every damn thing.

Top Ten Things to do Before You Graduate High School by

M.S.

(via

sestinalia

)

I want to be this carefree- this free.

(via lonerlikep-sawyer)

[flashoflife]

To the one who loves her next, She’s terrified of spiders. So when you’re out late with friends and she texts you freaking out because there’s one on her window, please go kill it. She won’t sleep otherwise. She is a total textbook introvert. She won’t reply for hours and sometimes you won’t see her for a week. You will take this personally. Don’t. She’s simply taking care of herself and she’ll tell you how much she missed you while she was away. She’ll get very jealous. My god, she gets so jealous. Those brown eyes will turn a deep green. She hates that about herself, and she doesn’t mean to do it. Remember, she loves you. Reassure her that you love her too. On that topic, she needs constant reassurance. Tell her you love her and mean it. If you can’t do that, leave. She deserves more than that. There will be nights when she goes out and drinks a little too much. She’ll call you to bring her home. When you do, she’ll try to keep you up all night by tickling you and repeating “I love you and I’m sorry I’m annoying.” She’s not annoying. But make sure she has plenty of water and don’t let her pass out until she drinks it, or she will be miserable in the morning. She is the most independent woman I know. But she’s so insecure, it still breaks my heart. So when she starts an argument with “you don’t love me.” Do not get upset. Remind her you do and the reasons why. She’ll come around. The cat comes first. Always. Don’t ever think otherwise. Make her tea and remember the way she takes her coffee. She will notice. When she’s having an anxiety attack, wrap her up in your arms and rub her back. Tell her she’s safe and remind her that she has medication if she needs it. If you cannot treat her like royalty, let someone else. That girl deserves the world. Losing her is a pain you will never shake. Your world will come crashing down on you and those pieces won’t ever fit the way they used to. Don’t let her go. She will love you with all she’s got. Please give her the same. I am begging you to not hurt her. She is golden. Don’t let that shine die out. Give her your all and she’ll return the favor. You will never have to ask the universe for anything ever again.

Sincerely, a name you’ll hear in passing. (via admlre)

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

I think everyone is trying to get out and do better; it doesn’t matter how pretty that cage looks, it’s still a cage.

I come from a great looking town, but in and around it there is scum and darkness. It would be easy to fall into it, almost fun, but climbing out... there is no such thing. That’s what I remember every time I complain about how hard the gifts I’ve been given are to keep up with.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

Dreams after Taste

Hey fam- had an INCREDIBLE weekend full of ethereal experiences that were very enlightening. I woke up one morning with this typed up on my phone: I must have half-consciously done this for myself; type up a dream, but moreover it's a promise to myself. I want life. I want balance. I want to have fullness. I picture the summer blurred over, just because everything is so warm and soft. But in those summer days I see mornings rising in potential and someone who wants to greet it- the young girl rowing out for a bit, just to say hello to the sea and the day. Nothing lengthy; but very soulful and intimate. After, she rinses briefly and dresses for work- casual, but ready. It is the routine. The family bustles and disperses shared tasks as they kind of fumble around each other playfully, happily. She'll have gotten to work early enough, so she can leave by 4 or 5- and after having eaten a full and proper meal- to hit the gym, clothes in the backseat of her car. An hour and change, cooling down in the sauna despite the summer haze clinging desperately to every body. And she drives home to the pup that emanates love and heart, and the mom who makes everything seem so easy, so conquerable. They catch up as she takes a protein drink before walking the Handsome Boy around the block- cherishing him. When they return he cools and she showers, smelling the days fragrance lift off her skin and into the still of summer- a soft breeze through an open window if they're lucky. Dinner. Two best friends binge watching tv shows together and never wanting it to end. But it does when her friends come over. They all make themselves at home. ALL of them. The bar top is on the patio, the fire is going, people are in the water. It's dreamy. Everyone's drunk but they're okay- they're Alive. She falls asleep at some point and does it all again the next day. And that's okay- because it's routine. And it's good. And it's healthy. And it means she's ALIVE.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

In conclusion, I really enjoy action films, I have learned; More so than I thought. I even have found several new films to enjoy, that I did not think I would.

I’ll stop goofing off now, and put my pen back to paper like you all want. I know you’d rather have a good book in your lap, but while you’re waiting for it to hit the shelves you might waste some of that time with these eleven films. I think most of them were worth it.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

World famous author, Monica Manngard, here, just checking in again! Usually when I check in I have another chapter or entire novel for you, but I’m sorry to say that this time that isn’t the case. I thought I’d put my pen down for once and pick up a bucket of popcorn instead; giving all of you some movie reviews. Now, there are definitely a couple great movie reviews heading towards you, as well as some that I’m not yet sure about. The movies I am going to review date back to 1935 and all the way to the end of 2015; I have an animated film, I have an action film, I have some comedy and even a film in black and white. Most importantly, I hope you enjoy my reviews and that they might even help you find a diamond in the rough.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

Directed by Stanley Kubrick and released in 1960, Spartacus features well-known actors Kirk Douglas, Laurence Olivier, and Jean Simmons- who I accidentally mistook for long-tongued demon Gene Simmons of KISS. Too bad the Demon wasn’t on screen. My thought before I watch the film is that I think it might be too dated. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it through this one when all of the gladiator movies I know are high definition, have incredible graphic effects, and are filmed so realistically that it feels like I am standing in the Coliseum. Not to mention the film reviews I have read through quite the bit of slander at Universal Studios for releasing a film of this low quality.

           Spartacus is about a slave of the same name who was sold into slavery before he was 13; now a grown man, he decides to fight the Roman Republic and their slavery. The audience knows that he cannot possibly succeed at this because it will be another 2,000 years before slavery in Rome dies out. Still, we can certainly hope and root for Spartacus. And we most certainly do, as he puts his own hide at risk for a fellow slave; and even more so as he uses his own teeth to gnaw off the Achilles tendon of one of the Roman soldiers. Go, Spartacus! Couldn’t have done it better myself. The soldiers reach their breaking point with him and hang him out to starve to death (demonstrating that he has acted up and out before); but he is spared by a gladiator connoisseur of sorts and brought to be trained to battle in the great arena. As Spartacus tries to get his bearings and hang onto his wit, he tries to find solace with his fellow slaves turned gladiators. As he does so, he is told by one man “Gladiators don’t make friends. If we are matched in the arena I will have to kill you.” This sentence seems to have an emotional and mental affect on our hero- for the audience can tell that he knows that banding together and opposing the Romans is the only chance they have. The fellow gladiators and slaves of the countryside later realize this too and elect Spartacus their leader. I won’t give any more away; but trust me, there is still plenty left that you do not know.

           I was worried about the graphics and quality for nothing! Gee, thanks, Amazon reviews. What could all of those people possibly be worked up about? The quality was not what I am used to, but the content was incredible enough to make up for all of that. The action was fierce and determined, though the gore was admittedly very fake, but the acting was strong and convincing.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

Directed in 1972 by Francis Ford Cappola, The Godfather features famous actors Marlon Brando and Al Pacino. This film as known as a classic, and I’m about to find out why.

           Patriarch of a mob dynasty, Don Corleone, is the one you go to for anything- but you better have his respect and deserve the offer of his services. The film opens on the boisterous wedding of the Don’s daughter. The opposing force to the Don is actually his youngest son, who he secretly hopes will do better for the family than joining the- ahem- family business. This is perfectly fine Michael Corleone (said son), who wants nothing to do with all of that. He has a cute blonde girlfriend, and has confessed just a glimpse of his family’s dark business to her. He soothes her by saying, “That’s my family, not me. Not me.” Don Corleone is known al the way across the country for his “offers that can’t be refused”- meaning his way or death. Thanks to the Don’s intense persuasion, he has lifted his family and friends into comfortably high places. Don Corleone is not the only one in town who can do the same- there are 5 other mob families who have territories throughout New York City and into New Jersey, and those heads might not be too happy with the extreme success of the Corleone’s. A large and unexpected twist throws me for a loop about halfway through the film- totally shocking me!- and then a second twist comes just a little bit later.

           If it weren’t for these twists, I don’t know how long I could have held on. I mentioned that this film is a classic before- I can see why now. The film covers a span of about 5 years, I’m guessing, and within those five years the world starts to drastically change. Capturing that changing world is what I think is one of the film’s greatest features, as well as the extent to which the families will go for one another. That said, I’m not sure how applicable this film still is, I think it might be a dying breed- fortunately or unfortunately, I do not know.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

Oscar 2015 nominee, The Revenant did not win, but still got an award for its leading actor- Leonardo DiCaprio. And what a momentous event that was; I think its safe to say that half of us having been waiting for DiCaprio to win an Oscar basically our entire lives. Now I am about to see if he really deserved it (though I am sure that he did).

           The Revenant is based off of a true story from the 1800s. Leonardo DiCaprio plays Hugh Glass a famous fur trapper and territory guide. Working alongside him but serving as Glass’ antagonist is Tom Hardy as trapper Fitzgerald, who from the beginning is no fan of Glass. Glass and his half Native American son worked alongside these trappers after the U.S. Army killed his wife and her village. After tragedy strikes at the beginning of the film, the trappers are left few in number and with no choice but to risk their lives in a rugged terrain with the elements and Natives against them. Scouting the surrounding territory one morning, Glass is attacked and mauled by a grizzly bear; he puts up a valiant fight, taking the beast out with him, but now his comrades and the viewers are not sure if he will make it through. Having had his throat, chest, and entire back ripped apart, Glass’s odds of surviving exist in a delicate balance.

           Despite the fact that Leonardo DiCaprio spends half of the movie- If not more- in silence, his performance is amazing. His face displays so many emotions, especially when paired with his heart-wrenching screams. If Leo didn’t deserve the Oscar for his performance as Hugh Glass, then he deserves it for every single other one of his performances- one Oscar for them all.

           The Revenant, too, had its twists; but they were less surprising. The dedication of the cast is what really made this film; each individual seemed so imbedded in his role that I felt like I was looking at 1800s fur trappers, and peeking over my shoulder afraid that Tom Hardy’s greedy character, Fitzgerald, might be behind me.

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

A Night at the Opera is a black and white 1935 American comedy. What I think ‘American comedy’ means here is that the humor will be clean and wholesome, something that the entire family could experience together. The film stars the three Marx brothers- who I know nothing about- who seem to be famous movie personalities. This film is interesting because it was the first one the Marx brothers did for Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer after they left Paramount pictures; and after their fourth brother left the act. In 1993 the film was selected to preservation in the National Film Registry for being “culturally, historically, or aesthetically significant”. I found this film at number 85 of 100 on the American Film Institute top 100 list.

           I think the root of this film is the story of Rosa and Ricardo’s love; however it is covered under piles of comedy and good fun, just like I imagined! The humor is so clean and made in good jest that I could laugh about it with whoever may possibly be next to me. One of the leads, character Otis B. Driftwood (Groucho Marx), is so comedic and his own category of character, that his conversations with the other characters remind me of the “Who’s on first?” skit by Abbott and Costello. The on-screen characters will bicker in a similar way for almost a painful-to-watch amount of time. The result is always hysterical!

[lonerlikep-sawyer]

Directed by Norman Jewison, Moonstruck features two well-known actors Cher and Nicholas Cage; both of whom I happen to really enjoy. The film opens in a big city- the big city I am assuming- on Cher’s character as she performs her daily jobs in a predominantly Italian neighborhood. From the accents to the names of people and buildings, everything screams ‘Italy’. Moving on- Loretta (Cher’s character) goes out to dinner with her boyfriend and is not very surprised when he proposes. Having had an unlucky marriage before (as Loretta and her family say several times) she is hesitant to agree until the man gets down on one knee and offers her some kind of engagement ring, the marital superstitions continue. Enter Nicholas Cage- the little brother to Loretta’s fiancé, and new love interest. The rest of the film delves into Loretta’s relationships and her decision on which one to pursue. Though, I did get some unexpected surprises. Just when I thought this could be pretty textbook in that they try to avoid each other but can’t and end up falling in love and getting married… Like I said, I got some surprises. For example, the amount of comedic relief that ended up coming from some intense and awkward situations. Also, the extent to which Nicholas Cage took his character seemed a little too drastic/extreme, therefore almost comedic.

           I generally enjoyed the film, and would rank it a 7 out of 10 stars, if you can sit through it. Even though the film was entertaining, and I enjoyed the storyline, if this had been any regular day I would have shut it off and moved on. There was just something in the experience that didn’t hold my attention.