All Big Booty Chicks Are Hoes You read the title right, no if ands or BUTTS about it my nigga every chick with a big booty on God's green earth is a hoe. I could sit and tell you all my experiences with big booty hoes but that would be too tragic and would turn into a sadderday post instead of a gem for you to take and put in your back pocket. Instead I'm going to break down my "theory" when actually its a FACT you just may not know it yet. Now when I say "Big booty" I don't mean the chick that browsed through World Star and clicked on the video ad to make her ass fat by injecting it with all type of foreign objects like cement and shit, I'm talking about the chicks that have the big booty gene the ones who've had a phat ass since middle school on up the ones who wore the smooth booty jeans with no shame. Those are the ones I speak of, now that doesn't mean chicks with fake asses are exempt from being hoes, no no my nigga it just may mean their hoe tendencies didn't appear until later in life with a little peer pressure and low self esteem and daddy issues. When I speak of hoes I'm not talking about your traditional "women of the night" I'm talking about Tanisha from down the street with the fat ass that smashed all the homies and is now on Facebook engaged to a nigga that stays in a different city. Ok now that we have the definitions out the way lets see how this whole phat ass hoe thing works. Chicks with phat asses have had phat asses their entire life, and since the beginning of time niggas have been falling over their own feet, breaking their necks and opening their check books to get a glimpse of that ass. So these chicks have seen every thirsty nigga capable of uttering a few words, they get used to niggas like that and they soon in life learn to use their phat ass for pure evil. First it's a pair of Jordan's and a top from forever 21, then it's a BMW and rent paid for her downtown loft. See what these hoes want us to believe is that their not smashing these niggas that are giving these gifts but don't be fooled by the ass my nigga they are indeed smashing these men b, no nigga in his right or mentally challenged mind js going to be giving gifts and not waxing that ass, shit just doesnt make since unles they have the face of late edition OJ Simpson. Let's take J.Lo for example she's probably the oldest wealthiest how with a phat ass. She went from a fly girl on our favorite In Living Color (and may I add that's when her ass was at its phattest) to multimillionaire and promoting her clothing in Kohls. She married a back up dancer (hoe move) fucked with P. Diddy at the height of her career and allowed him to take her to a ratchet club where a shoot out proceeded and a high speed chase (hoe move) to trying to settle down with the good guy "Mr. Right" Ben Affleck (you know hoes try to date the lame nigga to recover some of their self dignity) and breaking up with him and watch him get married and have 2 kids of his own to marrying a old nigga Marc Anthony (another hoe move, you know hoes try to marry the old nigga that don't look at her past because he loves her for her and doesn't care what other people think because he old as fuck and thirsty to settle down with a young tender roni with a phat ass) having twins with the old nigga then divorcing him for a young nigga with foamposits, tattoos and snap backs (a hoe will always go back to her roots bruh). Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you my nigga? I just broke down a multi million dollar hoe in a few sentences what make you think the chick you eying on instagram with the phatty is any different? Come on bruh be smarter than that, a phat ass is not to be wifed it's to be observed and given back shots. So before you fall in love with that ass just imagine a sadderday going through old Facebook status', photos and tweets about your shorty and knowing shes either in the strip club twerking for dollars or laid up with a celebrity nigga after a weekend of partying and drinking peach ciroc and getting gang banged by the "Chevy Woods" of the crew :( What I speak is the gospel, I wouldn't lie to you niggas. Don't let these hoes lie to you and say the past is the past... Fuck that the past is all you need to be thinking about bruh. Name a chick with a phat ass that isn't a hoe... I'll wait. But who am I? I just finished eating a cheese sandwich fresh out the microwave. - @VegazTheOne
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