was my forever not enough?

hey guys! :) i had a lot of fun meeting you all and writing with everyone, but i think it's finally time i retired encke's blog. i'm obsolete at this point, and some stuff happened behind the scenes that makes me feel less than enthused to get back on the horse. i think most of my roleplaying here in this community has run its course. i wish you all only the very best! take care of yourselves, please! i'll check the inbox every so often so if you want to leave a message or trade skypes, let me know. see you, starfighter rp community! it's been real. good luck out there! maybe we'll run into each other somewhere else.

[longxnimity]

After giving it a lot of thought, I think it’s time to finally say an official farewell to roleplaying Encke on tumblr and the Starfighter roleplay community. ‘ v ‘ /

I had left things sort of tentatively open in case I wanted to come back, and a good part of me does... but a lot has happened since I took my break, most of it less than pleasant and so my view of Encke’s blog has soured somewhat. I’m obsolete at this point as I joined the community to help a friend, and as I am no longer the only active Encke, my continued presence here is no longer a necessity. I have already been slowly faded out, even in terms of Encke’s friendships and relationships, and so I feel a little too out of touch and uncomfortable returning to this space. I know there are people who would try to tell me otherwise on some of those counts, a notion I truly do appreciate, but my feelings are what they are... and so I think it’s time I go ahead and throw in the towel all the same. It's just a little too difficult for an old man like me to jump back in after all that time away, and I don't want to step on any newly established toes.

My future -- medically -- is kind of uncertain at this point, as I’ve been undergoing treatments for several conditions all at once, and to continue my treatments I might eventually be traveling a lot in the coming days or even moving to a different state that can better handle my medical needs. This was a big part of why I had taken my break in the first place.

I may start up a blog somewhere in the Final Fantasy fandom depending on how things pan out in my follow-up appointments, but I do believe this is my final post as an Encke roleplayer. I really enjoyed meeting and writing with a lot of you, both in the fandom and outside of it, and I hope you all continue to grow as writers and people and see your happinesses multiply. My inbox is and will continue to be open if you want to keep in touch.

Good luck out there! : )

Jay

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[longxnimity]

;; I’m gonna be taking a break from this and all my blogs, SF or not, for at least a little while.

Not going to go super in-depth to the reasons why, but stuff has happened recently in the community that makes me uncomfortable and some of the opinions I’ve seen borne out of it don’t sit well with me. Most of it’s due to writer’s block, though, and ongoing health issues away from the computer, so I’m having less and less time to dedicate here. I’m hoping to eventually come back even in just a casual capacity, and maybe I’ll be able to pop in sooner than I’ve anticipated, but for now I won’t be around here as much.

I had a lot of fun meeting many of you and answering your ridiculous asks, and I appreciate all the kind messages I’ve received from you all during my few months here. I do have a Skype, so feel free to ask for it. I’m not always online there and can be notoriously difficult to pin down, so just fair warning on that front.

Please take care of yourselves both here and away from roleplaying, and thanks for the fun up until this point. ; v ;

[your-commander-bering-deactivat]

|| OOC

*me and my sister at the library; lillian is writing notes for her suicide prevention poster*

Her- hey lucy Me- what? Her-*points at her screen to show me a quote she made up for her slogan*“ if you’re a straight, white, cis, able-bodied, rich, Christian, good-looking, American male, it’ll get better, you whiny bitch.”

I love my sister so much

[your-commander-bering-deactivat]

||before someone else gets upset over this, depression can, yes happen to anyone. My sister, a disabled 15 year old girl, wrote that as a joke. She has been on the internet for awhile and knows how this all works. Not saying I condone what she said, but she has a point. This is about suicide prevention. She made a funny slogan attacking the assholes who want to kill themselves because their girlfriend dumped them via text or they got their xbox taken away. She was making fun of the people that people with real depression and suicidal tendencies hate. I find her quote funny even though I have adhd, depression, and I’m queer. I find it funny because its true.

[longxnimity]

;; For something to be a joke, it has to be funny first. You really ought to be ashamed of yourself. “That people with real depression and suicidal tendencies hate.” Congratulations. Your sister does not get to speak for everyone, and her ‘cute’ little slogan isn’t funny nor is it admirable -- and your little spiel about it makes it even worse.

As was already said, depression can happen to anyone. You can fit into literally all those categories and have depression and have it be legitimate. It’s a chemical imbalance. It does not discriminate. What your sister allegedly meant and what she wrote don’t match up. Rather than decide that people who fit into those categories are automatically ‘whiny bitches’ (nice language pertaining to women, by the way), maybe actually encourage your sister to write about the problems with suicide being something that is romanticized and why that’s wrong rather than cheering her on for adopting that disgusting stereotypical attitude.

[longxnimity]

;; I just kind of wish people would talk to me, rather than just about me to someone else. I don’t like hearing things about me secondhand. I don’t like feeling as though I’m Svet’s accessory or something that people sort of... barely remember as an afterthought. Just... kind of makes a guy feel shitty. When you want to say something about me, whether it’s nice or not, I’d like to... actually be the one who gets told. To me face. Not getting it passed along by Svet. 

Just makes me feel isolated... or that people don’t like me or something. That I’m just the other part of a set... and not the part of the set they actually wanted.

[longxnimity]

solxils:

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   The Navigator was easy to distract, and often didn’t think about his movements. He was the type to walk directly into walls if he was distracted enough.

   As he stepped off the elevator, the call of his name immediately took his attention as he stepped forward, right into the lead Fighter. That took back his attention as he stared up with wide eyes before averting his gaze to the floor. It felt to him as if he was digging his own grave with every passing second.

   "I’m so sorry, Sir. I wasn’t paying attention where I was going and I ran right into you..” 

             Not many of the crew seem all that fond of the Lead Fighter, and more than just a few displeased murmurs are spoken behind his back, rumors circulating through the mess hall. As such, most keep their distance from him ( as much as one can aboard the closed confines of a battleship, anyway ) so needless to say, when a small body collides with his own, he’s a bit caught off guard.

             ❝ … Yes. I noticed that, ❞ Encke replies flatly, staring down at the frazzled Navigator. He sniffs softly, his expression neutral and unreadable. ❝ Don’t worry about it, Reliant. Something on your mind? ❞

[socialanxietymouse]

Yep.

This is the Liebowitz Social Anxiety Scale Test.

Level of social anxiety isn’t a competition - but this is a useful tool for getting an idea for yourself, and for others to get a glimmer of what social anxiety disorder means in day to day life.

[chromz]

SEVEN LMAOOO

[longxnimity]

;; I won’t be on until later tonight since I have a doctor’s appointment to go to about my ridiculous heart, but you’ll be able to find me lurking around here or over on Abel when I do come back in a whiiiiile.

[bladesofsilence-deactivated2018]

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“….Here you go sir, to offset the Kale shenanigans…. have a Meat and Mash potato cake.” basically just three giant hamburgers, some mash potato and ketchup…

[longxnimity]

Space Father Encke, please have a good day. If someone is causing you unnecessary stress, I will take a chair and make them sit down for a long lecture on what is proper and nice.

              This month has been... trying. Every day is a struggle to survive, each one fought for tooth and nail... or maybe it’s just given to us by luck. I don’t know. I’ve never said I know. All I do understand is that the further we get into ‘teron space, the less likely it is that we’ll get back home...

              I appreciate the sentiment, really. But I prefer to do my own damage control. If anything needs saying, I’d like to be the one who does... It’s the least I can do to ease everyone else’s burdens...

[longxnimity]

Plot Twist: Keeler adopts an entire orphanage after the war. You truly become Space Father Encke.

              I don’t think that’s something that would ever happen.

              Last time we talked about it, he didn’t express any interest in adopting any children... It wasn’t something he really wanted at all then. I didn’t exactly go into the military thinking that I was going to have a family some day, and I haven’t really... thought I was going to even now. And that’s okay. I... I do like children, and having one myself was something I used to really want... but if it isn’t my reality, then it just isn’t. I have Sören, and he’s all I need.

              ... Though imagining him with an entire group of kids probably isn’t too far off from what it’s like to be on the Sleipnir some days.

[longxnimity]

Plot Twist: due to some wacky shenanigans, eating meat is now illegal. Highly illegal and all foods are now kale based.

W A N T E D

FOR MEATS MOST OBSCENEFED (KALE) OR ALIVE

❝ I do what I want lmao. ❞

ARMED AND RAVENOUS

BOUNTY: 2 MILLION FEDERAL CREDITSLAST SEEN FLEEING COLONY 6ILLICIT HAMBURGER IN HANDRUMORED TO HAVE FOUR MEAT PATTIES IN POSSESSION

[longxnimity]

"Enckeeeee!!" The look in Keeler's eyes can only mean one thing: TROUBLE. Cue the oh-so-innocent look... which REALLY means Keeler's being anything BUT innocent. "Want a kale smoothie~?"

              Cue a comically long stare, one that’s far more blank and dull-eyed than his usual -- something akin to a dead fish with a lifeless gaze. He turns about on his heel, having had QUITE enough teasing about these kale smoothies, thank you very much.

              ❝ ... I’m sleeping in my office tonight. ❞

[keelerr-blog]

plot twist: you wake up one morning to find encke willingly drinking a kale smoothie, BUT he doesnt share :o :o :o

         ❝ ––––!!! ❞

[longxnimity]

plot twist: keeler stops shoving leafy greens in your mouth every chance he gets, but its now the main ingredient to every meal served on the mess deck

              [ INTERNAL SCREAMING ]

[iiocane-deactivated20190209]

                    ‘ NO!! 

                                 a farm boy. poor and perfect.                                  with eyes like the sea after a storm. ‘

[longxnimity]

iyùn mi:

          ❝ Isn’t that what you call it ? To dress a salad ? Like if I put on caesar topping–––– ❞  ( mispronounced ‘kaiser,’ because he’s no master of English pronunciation ) ❝ ––––don’t you say, ‘I’m dressing my salad’ ? ❞

          That adorable nose-wrinkle does not go unnoticed; it’s met with a cheery giggle and a KISS !! 

          ❝ I think a clove is a herb… ? But don’t you say it ‘clove’ with the ‘oh’ sound ? But I guess it could be ‘clove’ like in ‘glove’… ahh, engelska är svårt… !! ❞ He searches for Encke’s hand, then takes it in his own and brings it to his lips for a kiss, LAUGHING CHEERILY all the while. ❝ Förlåt, kärlek !! ❞

              ❝ ... I don’t know. I don’t like to eat salad. ❞

              Here he gives Keeler a pointed look. Encke and greens has been a point of contention for some time now, culminating in an evening meal standoff when the Navigator had the audacity to shove a forkful of kale into the young lieutenant’s mouth. So Encke was sure to pay him back by tipping the rest of the remaining kale on to the office floor, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

              Forks were eyed warily for the next several meals; who knew whether that utensil brought the joy of sharing food... or the sneak attack of revenge.

              Encke’s cheeks are treated with a little blush as soft lips meet the tip of his nose, and he’s sure to give Keeler’s hand a loving squeeze.

              ❝ You said that the salad already had dressing on it... and then put on the cloves... the clothes. ❞ A pause, and then he ventures: ❝ Maybe you didn’t tell it right. ❞