Could Be Dangerous

'And this chaos it defies imagination'

[systlin]

I’M DYING

[tomyfancy]

Day 3 of 5

“Dear Citizen,

In order to deliver on our promise to save America, we knew we needed to tackle our country’s biggest issue: wealth inequality. The richest 0.1% of Americans have as much wealth as the bottom 90%.

Our lawyers wouldn’t let us pursue our first choice - a campaign to eat all the rich people and live in their homes - so we settled for something more achievable. Today, Card Against Humanity has redistributed your wealth.

Using the survey you filled out when you signed up, we identified the 100 poorest recipients and sent them each  check for $1,000. To see how this $1,000 is impacting these peoples lives, read their stories at CardsAgainstHumanityRedistributesYourWealth.com. The next 10,000 poorest recipients got a $15 refund check.

You got nothing. And if you don’t like it, tough titties.

I love you,

Cards Against Humanity”

[strutsonicely]

I was one of the 100 to get the check from these folks, and holy shit I was CACKLING at the hurt people on Facebook. Some people only cared about their precious $15 when it helped the poor.

[systlin]

Congrats! I’m thrilled that some of my $$$ went to people who needed it. 

[solluxisms]

I went to their website for this to see if info on the other days was out, and their FAQ is so perfect I almost choked to death.

[look-to-the-starss]

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I thought I’d make the perfect card/gift choices for Mighty Boosh Fans....Enjoy some Tony Harrison 

Buy here, with options of cards, t-shirts, pillows and more. 

[distinguishedbaloney]

[stevonnie-archive-2]

In case you haven't noticed, I'm a creep. I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here

[tastefullyoffensive]

A true visionary. (via maggiearch3r)

[mymodernmet]

[rilakjenya]

“You always say such horrible things. Every time. Always. Always…”

[estocadaa]

The Martian is a literary masterpiece.

[thec8h10n4o2]

Yep

[birdcagesanddemons]

[gifdeadpool]

How does it feel to take the persona of Deadpool?

[troiastings]

[danielkanhai]

i was just walking home from the subway in the rain and i saw a dog walking down the sidewalk alone wearing a sweater. now, i’ve seen dogs walking down sidewalks alone not wearing sweaters and i’ve seen dogs walking down sidewalks on leashes wearing sweaters and i gotta say, once you remove the human element from the equation, the dog looks like it dressed itself. like a decision was made by a dog. it just looks like a dog going somewhere in a world where dogs are highly intelligent and have appointments they need to get dressed up for. i couldn’t make eye contact with this dog, it was intimidating in its confidence. 

[okaymad]

[dajo42]

“this tastes like shit” “haha how do you know what that ta-”

[just-shower-thoughts]

We have two universal languages: mathematics, and music. One to describe the universe, and one to describe how we feel about it.

[tranxio]

“Oh my god, I’m turning into—a vampire!”

“But how? I didn’t even bite you yet!”

Premature edraculation

[lotrlocked]

…this fucking website.

[fromxruin]

My kind of humor

[look-to-the-starss]

Which team are you? New Pokemon Go collection available here