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Color Me Curious
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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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@lookingformydreamsworld
"Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t do something. Not even me. You got a dream, you gotta protect it. When people can’t do something themselves, they’re gonna tell you that you can’t do it. You want something, go get it. Period."
So long no see.
Who was going to imagine that everything would turn upside down in the last month of the year? And that all the aspirations and work expectations you had for the future would completely change because of your fucking mental health?
Here I am getting to know a new friend better for the first time: anxiety. Now benzos are my best allies to sleep and, to make matters worse, my mind is into a maze that is trying to solve how the f*** I want to continue my working life, while days and weeks will go on slowly...
Words to live by for the coming new year.
Last 24h of my summer holidays... 24h left before my first position at a public school for a whole academic year.
The 9th month is about to start and I can't believe what this year is already giving me. Since January on, I have worked at none other than 7 different schools doing substitutions, and to my surprise, I have survived and my experience there was much better than in the first one in which I started the academic year.
I can't avoid feeling both excited and nervous at the same time. What I am sure about is that the previous experiences from this year have enriched me with learning to use here and to learn from mistakes.
Who was going to tell myself some years back at university that I would end up becoming what I wanted to become the least?
Tomorrow is my last day in one of the schools I have felt most comfortable with since I arrived during the short time I have been working. I was expecting to stay a bit longer, but circumstances are as they are.
No doubt whatsoever, this experience has made learn about the hard role of a teacher while assuming other different charges. Probably it's something unique from this school, but it seemed like belonging to a family more than an institution, which will make it harder for me to forget and change my routine. What is clear is that I will choose this school when I have the opportunity.
Hello world! Did you miss me?
A lot happened since my last visit here. Another year has passed and too many events made 2024 as one of my best years. Among my year achievements, I can remark that I saw Bruce Springsteen in concert, I traveled to Italy, I obtained the C1 English level certificate and that I started to work as a teacher for the first time at a public school. But the most important thing was that I made the decision to go to therapy. I never imagined myself taking such a big step but here I am, and now I don't regret it. In fact, it will be really helpful to me to manage my emotions and feelings and to struggle with certain stressful situations I might run into.
Working as a teacher has really been a rollercoaster. Myself in the past would have never imagined to end up devoting her life to the last option of her list of working careers. And to this day I still am doubting whether I will teach for all my life or I will turn my work options upside down. What is certain is that this last job has been the one in which I have most learned at all senses, and I hope it will enrich me to apply my learning in my next adventure.
Good night for now.
“You have it now and that is all your whole life is; now. There is nothing else than now. There is neither yesterday, certainly, nor is there any tomorrow. How old must you be before you know that?”
— Ernest Hemingway, For Whom the Bell Tolls
A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.
Oscar Wilde
“What is the meaning of life? That was all — a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one.”
— Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse
Hey world, what's up? I'm still alive!
I'm just seeing my last post here and I have to confess a lot changed since then.
Luckily, as expected, I underwent another succesful surgery, and again with the same doctor. I couldn't have asked for anything else when things went as they should. The best part of this is that I feel much healthier than in the previous surgery and now I can eat foods I hadn't tried in barely 10 years - although I have banned myself from others which were my favourites.
It seems hard to believe that it's been exactly one year since I was "reborn" again. Well, the exact date of my "lifeversary" was this last Saturday 2nd.
So thankfully my visits to the ER and generally to the hospital have stopped. I only have a (hopefully) last appointment from another specialist that I had since all of this began.
Apart from my health problems, one of the most important things that happened to me last year was my first time facing the state exams to work as a teacher in public schools. But I'll have to save that for another post 😅
I never imagine I would have to come back to the hospital even 4 TIMES (or maybe more?) in less than a year, and the worst thing is that after the last one I feel more scared (and also fed up) than the previous times. Scared of things getting worse and worse, that something fucks everything up or that there is no way out... And I'm being aware that I have to return to hospital for a (hopefully) good reason even though it implies undergoing surgery and going through pain again, but I think nobody is totally ready for surgery.
I just hope whatever life is having for me in store doesn't bring me more unexpected events.
“The ecstasy of solitude comes when you are not frightened to be alone.”
— J. Krishnamurti
“I don’t feel that it is necessary to know exactly what I am. The main interest in life and work is to become someone else that you were not in the beginning.”
— Michel Foucault
“I’ve survived a lot of things, and I’ll probably survive this.”
— J.D. Salinger
“We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated”
— Maya Angelou
“You have to have your heart broken. That’s the reality of life and if you are protected from this sadness, then how can you grow? How can you recognize real happiness when you see it?”
— Marion Cotillard
“I walk around the world like a ghost, and sometimes I question whether I even exist. Whether I’ve ever existed at all.”
— Paul Auster
