Summary: It’s Halloween- The Potters’ needed a babysitter for their morning date. Remus had a mission to do- while y/n is stuck with the words Remus threw at her. She takes comfort in Sirius.
Pairing: Remus Lupin x reader / Sirius Black x reader (sibling type of way but this story has a lot of Sirius Black content)
Time Period: October 31, 1981 - November 1, 1981
Warnings: Angst (stripping / ass smacking). Death,drinking, fighting, swearing?
A/N: sorry this took so long guys <3 I’ll try posting more. ALSO THIS SONG HELPED ME RIGHT THIS PART OF THE STORY.
"Remus, love, we need to get ready so we can make it to the Potters," you whisper into his ear. He turns away and sniffles dramatically. "Don't be such a baby!" You say as you get out of bed.
"Baby," he whines, pleading you to come back to bed.
"Remus," you say sternly.
"Fine," he acknowledges your tone and turns on the lamp near his side of the bed so his eyes can adjust to light. You open your closet door and start pulling out your outfit for the day which consisted of leggings and a long colorful shirt with stripes on it. You walk out into the kitchen to start coffee, you sigh in exhaustion. Remus and you have been so busy with work this week. You walk back into the room, Remus now pulled up into a sitting position, his back against the headboard.
"Are you going to get dressed?"
"I was going to enjoy the show you were going to give me for free," he says cockily. His remark makes you roll your eyes.
"Lupin, you are such a pervert," you say as you give him the show he is waiting for. He gets up before you can get all your clothes on and pulls you into a passionate kiss.
"I'm a pervert for you," he smirks, his hands on your waist as he stares down into your eyes. His hands trail down to your white lacy panties.
You give him a swift kiss and then pull away. "I would love to but we have to hurry up."
You see the rejected look on his face and hear it in his tone as he says, "fine."
"I'm sorry love," you say as you head into the kitchen to pour him a cup of coffee. You grab the daily prophet from your owl. You read as Remus comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist.
"None, thankfully," you reply. He used to say it as a joke but as the war progressed and more Order of The Phoenix members died it became a serious question.
"Good," he says as he grabs his coffee and sits down on the hard wooden chair that belongs to to your kitchen table. You continue to read the prophet as he drinks his cup of coffee. Nothing much, not like you can trust the newspaper anyway. He places his cup in the sink as you finish reading so you slip on your shoes and give him a ready look. He grabs his long, grey coat and slips on his plain black shoes that make him look like he's going to church.
Remus' fists bang at the Potters front door. As the door opens up, Lily, your guys' best friend, reveals herself in a dress. James for some reason likes to do dates in the morning instead of at night (weird I know).
"Hello!" You shout from behind Remus and push past him to give her a hug. She has a huge smile on her face as you pull her into a hug. "You look stunning!"
"Thank you!" Her cheeks matching her red hair as you pull out of the moment.
"You're welcome," you say pushing past her to go to give James a hug.
"Eer I've missed you!" Remus says as he pulls Lily into another hug.
"I've missed you too!" It becomes quiet as you suppose they are grasping one another. A moment later Lily says, "Moony let go you are hurting me."
You take a mental note that the full moon is approaching. He isn't aware of how strong he is. James finally walks out with Harry, a miniature version of Lily. You pull him into the final hug and than pull away, taking Harry with you.
"Hey little cutie," you say rubbing his back and walking around with him. Remus smiles at you as he pulls James into a hold. They smack each other's backs like they are fighting to see who can hit harder.
Remus walks over to you and gives Harry a kiss on his beautiful forehead. "How's our big boy doing?" Remus asks Lily and James as they get on their shoes.
"He's teething right now so just give him a warm wash cloth. Applesauce also makes him a bit quieter," Lily says with a big smile.
James looks at his watch and then at Lily. "We should get going," he says. They both wave at you guys. As they walk out, James smacks Lily's ass and she squeals.
Remus looks at you and smirks. "I know what they are going to be doing," he says as he walks into their living room. You just smirk and put the baby on the table as you tickle his stomach.
"Auntie Y/N loves you," you say in a child like tone. Remus back tracks to the room where you are.
You turn to his voice and see him standing in the doorway from the room where you are standing to the living room. "Hmm?"
He walks up to you and wraps his arms around your waist. "Do you want kids, love?" Your cheeks turn a bright red.
You say shyly, "Yeah, you don't?" He smiles at your shyness. You can read him like a book since day one and you see the sadness behind his eyes. "What's wrong?"
He shakes his head, "I just don't want to pass my condition to them."
You shake your head, grabbing Harry off the table. "Of course not!"
"There's always that possibility," he says sadly but with a tint of anger in his words.
"Well, I didn't think about it that much. It's not like I want a baby right now with the war and us going off on missions randomly.." you trail off.
The next couple of hours was awkward between you and Remus. You could tell that Remus didn't think you wanted kids. You kept kissing the baby for comfort, thinking about how he assumed you didn't want kids. Every time the thought crossed your mind you could feel the anger within you surge. Remus, Harry and you were watching Mickey Mouse when you heard the door open.
You didn't expect them to be back until around 2.
"Hey!" James calls giddily, entering the room. Lily enters quickly behind him, looking for her miniature self.
"Hey," Remus says. "You have a good time?"
Lily's cheeks turn a bright red as she exits the room with Harry in her arms. James winks at Remus and nods. Remus laughs as you shake your head. You follow Lily into the kitchen where she is letting her hair down. You sit down next to her, waiting for Remus to enter the room so you can start dismissing yourself.
"You have a good time?" You ask Lily.
Her green eyes look at you, "yes! James took me to a nice little cafe!"
"That's sweet of him," you say glaring at the angelic baby in her arms. After the conversation with Remus this morning, thinking of having kids saddens you. James and Remus then enter the dinning room. You can hear Remus wrapping up the conversation with James so you decide to give Lily a hug.
"We are going to head out," you say to her.
"Remus has a mission tonight," you say with annoyance.
"I understand," she says in the same annoyed tone eyeing James across the room. You stand up and walk towards the door, putting on your shoes. Remus does the same and you guys give all the Potters hugs.
"Be safe," you whisper into Lily and the baby's ear. Remus than directs you through the door and into the passenger side of the car. He gets in and starts the car and that's when you started to round on him.
"YOU ASSUMED I DIDN'T WANT KIDS!!" You yelled at him. He took the yelling, rolling his eyes, while he backed out of the driveway. "YOU ASSUMED!! FOR CHRIST SAKE!! YOU DIDN'T EVEN TALK TO ME ABOUT IT!!"
He became very quiet as he drove back to your apartment. "YOU ARE SUCH A FOOL REMUS LUPIN!!"
He finally had enough and screamed back, "YOU ARE A SELFISH IDOIT FOR ASSUMING I WOULD HAVE KIDS WITH ANYONE!! YOU ARE AN IDOIT FOR NOT RESEARCHING OR ASKING ME. YOU ASSUMED I WOULD HAVE KIDS!"
The both of you sat quietly the whole half hour it took to get to the apartment and once you were there. You read the nightly prophet next to your husband who sat quietly watching the day pass by through the window.
As night fell into the apartment Remus knew he needed to go on the mission Dumbledore explained to him. "Hey I should get going," he explained. You didn't want to let him leave on a mission with you guys fighting but you were so pissed at him for doing that to you. So you looked at him and ignored him blatantly. "Bye Y/N," you could hear the sadness in his voice as he opened the door. You wanted to reach out and hold him, stop him from leaving but a part of you kept you quiet. You stayed planted in your position. Fuck him for assuming.
As soon as he shut the door you walked towards the window. You looked out as he came walking out of the apartment complex. He than apparated quickly. As your thoughts began to linger you looked out into the night sky and realized 𝘵𝘰𝘯𝘪𝘨𝘩𝘵 was the full moon.
Why would Dumbledore send him on a mission tonight?
Thoughts were spinning in your head as you walked to the kitchen to grab some firewhiskey. Anger began to weld in your chest as you overthought yours and Remus' relationship. You felt so frustrated with the lack of communication and angry with him, his stupid face. You quickly pick up a pen and pad and write to Sirius.
It's the full moon. I'm bored and in need of company. If you aren't busy, would you like to come over? I need my drinking buddy x
You send the letter to your best friend and guzzle the rest of your firewhiskey. Less than an hour later you heard a knock on the door which brightened your mood. You opened it quickly up to see the familiar brown eyes staring back at you.
"I HEARD SOMEONE IS IN NEED OF THEIR BEST FRIEND WITH A HIGH TOLERANCE!"
"Ugh Siri!" You pull him into a hug and nuzzle into his neck. He steps in, not breaking the hug but trying to close the door.
He asked the wrong question at the wrong time. It just spilled out of your mouth as he poured himself a drink. "Remus assumed I didn't want kids because he didn't want kids. He's on a mission tonight even though it's a full moon. Marlene and Dorcas died!" You tell him half of the truth. You catch him off guard because you were never really close with anyone but Lily, Remus, Alice and Frank. He could tell you were avoiding what was actually bothering you.
"Y/N, what's actually bothering you?"
You hated how easily he could read through you. You sighed, "Sirius Black, if I tell you, you cannot tell anyone. I mean Remus, Lily, Alice, James and most of all Dumbledore!"
He recognized the seriousness in your voice, "of course, I won't say a word."
"Dumbledore wants me to help him find the Deathly Hallows to defeat Voldemort. You know James invisibility cloak?"
"That's one out of three of the Deathly Hallows. We are currently tracking down the resurrection stone that can bring back the dead," you explain.
"I know what the Deathly Hallows are. Everyone just thinks they are hoax though or a children's tale," he retorts.
"Yes, Dumbledore and I do not believe so. He currently has James' cloak to look at it. I told him we should just be straightforward with James but he refuses," you say. Sirius processes your words and finishes his glass of alcohol.
"Well, you definitely have your hands full," he says shallowly. You don't know what you were expecting when you told him this but you expected something more. The anger you felt towards life came surging forward but before you could act on it, you press the bottle to your lips and take a huge drink.
"My brother recently died," Sirius explains to you as he talks another gulp of liquor.
"Don't know. Family refuses to say much," he says with tears in his eyes. You pull him into a big hug. You felt bad for him and his situation with his family. You thought about yours and how your divorced parents barely spoke to one another. You thought about your mom who married a younger man and had another kid with your mother. You thought about your younger sister who would be turning seven. You thought about her dying and knowing absolutely nothing.
"I'm sorry Pads," you say as you rub his back. He's told you some of the stories of him protecting his younger brother, Regulus, from the parental abuse they experienced. You remember seeing him at school but because he was sorted into Slytherin you were never close with him. The alcohol wasn't helping either of your guys mental statuses so you decided to get off the couch and head for bed. "Do you need a blanket?"
"Okay," you grab him a blanket and toss it to him. "Goodnight Sirius," you say.
"Goodnight Y/N," he mumbles as he gets comfortable. Oh, how things change. It feels like just yesterday you were telling them all goodnight in their dormitory.
You woke up to silence, Sirius was still sleeping. You quickly stood up having a bad feeling or maybe that was the hangover. You walk out of the room to Sirius quietly sleeping on the couch. You looked out the window realizing that the night sky was still lingering in the sky. You than realized what woke you up, an owl pecking at your window. You quickly walk to the window and open it, waking Sirius.
"What's wrong?" He asks panicking.
"Nothing, Remus probably sent me a letter," you say happily.
"Oh okay," he says relaxing his body until another owl arrives with a letter for him. You untie the letter and throw it at Sirius, slightly worried. You open the letter, reading the information.
James and Lily were found dead inside their house with the dark mark over it. Harry is okay and is currently being taken to his remaining muggle family. Sirius was supposed to be their secret couple. I don't think it is him.
You drop the letter. You look at the black haired boy sitting on your couch currently. He puts down his letter quickly, tears flooding his eyes.
"Y/N, I swear I would never do that!" You wanted to believe him. He isn't like his family, he's your friend. A knot in your stomach said you were in possible danger. Your head ponded. You feel your cheeks tighten and your feet force you to run towards the bathroom, vomiting into the bathtub. He follows behind you and rubs your back soothingly. You know for sure that this man couldn't of killed your friends, he was with you, he cares and loves you.
"I know," you say reassuringly. "We need to see for ourselves," you say you get out of the bathroom and slip on your shoes and traveling robe.
"Thank you for believing me. Many won't," he looks at you with his brown eyes.
"I know but you are my best friend," you say as you take his hand and apparated to the Potters' front door. You see the green mark hovering above the house, everything seems more gloomy. You grab the door handle but Sirius wraps his hand around yours and you both open the door together. You see James body right by the stairs, Sirius drops to his knees leaning over his best friend body, sobbing. The messy brown hair still a mess, his blue eyes piercing towards the front door like they are searching for intruders.
You walk up the stairs towards the nursery where baby Harry would and should be. You see Lily's lifeless body on the floor. You want to drop to your knees, sob, cry, kill someone but you know she needs you to be strong. The red headed women who comforted you, gave you advice- gone. Dead. You know that everyone will suspect Sirius because last everyone checked he was the secret keeper. You lean down and close her eyelids that cover her beautiful green eyes. You walk back down the stairs feeling the overwhelming numbness.
"Sirius we need to go," you say sternly. He sniffles which annoys you slightly.
"O-okay," he mutters. He grabs James glasses and stands up. "Sorry," he mutters.
"It's fine," you say in the same monotone voice. You both walk out the door; Sirius feeling nothing but sadness but you feeling nothing but anger.
"I'm going to kill someone," you whisper to him.
"Better torture them before anything," he states. You think about every single way you could kill someone. You think about all the people that are responsible for your friends' death, leaving Harry an orphan. You feel so much anger you could kill someone without remorse.
"Sirius, I need to go to my family," you say randomly. The boy looks astonished you can possibly think about this.
"I have to see my family," you say annoyed.
"Why? You seriously think this is the time, Y/N?"
"Well, Black, if your friends just died and you know you could be on the people who killed your friends' radar. Wouldn't you think to make sure your family has no relation to you?" You say coldly.
"Y/N- I think that's a tad extreme," he tries to touch your hand to give you comfort.
"You know what's a tad extreme? Killing a boys parents, leaving him an orphan. Killing I'm general is extreme!" You shout at Sirius.
"It is," he quietly agrees with you. You guys walk in silence, going nowhere, really. Your parents live to far away to walk so you have to apparate. After awhile of silently walking to nowhere you reach for Sirius' hand and apparate to your fathers house.
Your eyes adjust to the morning orange sky beaming from behind your fathers house. You don't have many memories here because the divorce happened once you were older and you sided mostly with your mother. His house was two stories, huge and grey. It looked like a mansion from a horror film. You look at the neighboring houses and the cars are still parked in the driveways. The houses were close to one another which gave the community a claustrophobic feeling.
You look in Sirius direction and say, "just wait out here this will be quicker than my moms." You let go of his hand as he nods at you, acknowledging your words. You walk onto the wood front porch that is holding a swing. A swing that you bet rarely gets used. You raise your fist to knock gently on the door but you quickly remember you are here to erase your fathers memories not go down memory lane. So, you open the white door quietly knowing your father is probably awake in the kitchen or sleeping. You stand with your back facing the front door. You creep into the long narrow hallway that the kitchen is at the end of. You hear humming coming from the end of the hallway so you are supposing your father is at the end of it. As you quietly walk you think about all the memories you've had with the man.
"What did you wish for?" Your grey haired father asks you. A big grin is plastered on your face. If you were being honest you didn't wish for anything. You just wanted to eat your cake.
"I can't tell you! It won't come true!" You say like everyone else does. All you want is a piece of chocolate cake in your mouth. You can feel your little mouth salivating. You hear your fathers deep chuckle from behind you. From the side of you, you see your mother shaking her head because she can see the mischievous grin on your fathers face. Little known to you that your father has a horrible plan.
Your mother plops the first side piece of chocolate cake onto your plate. You grab it hungrily but before you can get any utensils your father pushes your curly head into your food.
You get sucked out of your memory as you round the corner into the kitchen. Your father is facing away from the entrance way luckily. You whisper, "oblivate."
You've never casted the spell so you don't know if it's worked. There's no pictures of you on the man's wall. It seems lonely, empty. While casting the spell you saw a light fly at your once father. You just don't know if it did what it was supposed to correctly. You back through the narrow hallway, wanting Sirius presence back. You walk outside questioning your abilities and grasp Sirius hand.
"You okay?" He asks concerned.
"Ask me that later," you say as you apparte the two of you to your mothers home. You look up at the small yellow house, it's the complete opposite of your fathers. Honestly the way they are polar opposites suits them. You walk into the small house quietly with Sirius. "Stay outside the front door," you whisper to him. He closes the open front door, leaving you alone. You see the many family photos your mom has plastered on the walls. You hear the baby your mother decided to have late in life crying. You smell the all too familiar smell of chocolate chip cookies which vaguely reminds you of Remus. You walk to the living room that's only separated by the kitchen. Where you find your stepfathers and mothers back facing the television watching the morning news. Once you see the women sitting on couch you get drawn into memories of the past.
Your H/C curly hair is filled with brown frosting. Your little hands are grabbing at your mothers hand who is trying to clean up the mess your father caused. Tears are rolling down your cheeks.
"Momma why is he so mean to me?" You sob.
"Your father is a mean man," she says simply. Little Y/N didn't want to take that as an answer. How could daddy be a mean person? Daddies aren't supposed to be mean.
"Daddy doesn't know how to show others he loves them," she says with a small smile.
You get drawn out of thought by the adult thought you had about the memory. Now that you look back at this you find that your mother was more talking about the relationship she had with your father than the relationship you had with your father. You think about the present situation though. You couldn't keep procrastinating the inevitable.
As you take the short walk back to the front door you notice how you are now not included in any of the family photos. The feeling of unsettling sadness lays on your stomach. The feeling of worry is released off your chest knowing that they won't be tortured or killed. You know now that you are willing to fight, fight like hell. You know now why you were put into Gryffindor. You join Sirius on the front porch. He's sitting down, wand in hand, staring at the passing cars.
"Ask me now please," you whisper.
He looks up at you in shock, "are you okay?"
"No but I'm going to kill the sons of bitches who hurt them," you say with tears falling from your eyes. Sirius stands up quickly and wraps his arms around you.
"I'm going to help you kill them motherfuckers too," he whispers in your ear. You sit on your mothers front porch hugging for a minute until you pull away, tears dried. Sirius looks exhausted but you can tell he didn't cry. He was tired of crying, he was angry.
"We need to find Remus," you say.
"I agree," he says. You both quickly compose a letter to Dumbledore explaining how you guys need to find him so you can tell him yourselves what happened. You guys grab each other's hand and apparate back home.
