D&D are not seeing heaven for making Jon unfunny in the show, a series (ASOS edition):
After that he had taken to using Ghost to keep her away. Old Nan used to tell stories about knights and their ladies who would sleep in a single bed with a blade between them for honor’s sake, but he thought this must be the first time where a direwolf took the place of the sword. (Jon II, ASOS)
“Jon Snow, you know nothing. You don’t go in with clothes.”
“I don’t go in at all,” he said firmly, just before he heard Tormund Thunderfist bellowing for him (he hadn’t, but never mind). (Jon II, ASOS)
Lucky it might be, and red it certainly was, but Ygritte’s hair was such a tangle that Jon was tempted to ask her if she only brushed it at the changing of the seasons. (Jon II, ASOS)
He heard the deep thrum of Deaf Dick’s crossbow to his left, and Satin’s a moment later. “I got one!” the boy cried hoarsely. “I got one in the chest.”
“Get another,” Jon called. (Jon VII, ASOS)
It was only as he was running off that Jon recognized Big Boil. Half a heartbeat later, old Mully put an arrow through his leg from the roof of the Flint Barracks, and he crawled off bleeding. That will stop him bitching about his boil, Jon thought. (Jon VII, ASOS)
Mammoths trumpeted in the gloom, strange voices called out in stranger tongues, and Septon Cellador prayed so loudly and drunkenly for the dawn to come that Jon was tempted to chuck him over the edge himself. (Jon VIII, ASOS)
“I want arrows raining on them with every step, but we’ll wait till they’re in range. Any man who wastes an arrow will need to climb down and fetch it back, do you hear me?” (Jon VIII, ASOS)
The drums had all gone silent. How do you like that music, Mance? How do you like the taste of the Dornishman’s wife? (Jon VIII, ASOS)
“Me?” said Grenn. “Him?” said Pyp. It was hard to tell which of them was more horrified. “But,” Grenn stammered, “b-but what do I do if the wildlings attack again?”
“Stop them,” Jon told him. (Jon VIII, ASOS)
“Did you think my skull was stuffed with cabbage?”
“I don’t know what your skull is stuffed with. My lord.” (Jon IX, ASOS)
“M’lord,” Janos Slynt reminded him. “You’ll address me—”
“I’ll go, my lord. But you are making a mistake, my lord. You are sending the wrong man, my lord. Just the sight of me is going to anger Mance. My lord would have a better chance of reaching terms if he sent—” (Jon X, ASOS)
Honorary mention because it never fails to make me giggle: “I never win anything,” Dolorous Edd complained. “The gods always smiled on Watt, though. When the wildlings knocked him off the Bridge of Skulls, somehow he landed in a nice deep pool of water. How lucky was that, missing all those rocks?”
“Was it a long fall?” Grenn wanted to know. “Did landing in the pool of water save his life?”
“No,” said Dolorous Edd. “He was dead already, from that axe in his head. Still, it was pretty lucky, missing the rocks.” (Samwell V, ASOS)
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