Today’s joy: texting my long distance bestie @lordfarquad because I got misty eyed thinking so many summer mornings waking up to a Colorado sunrise.

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@lordfarquad
Today’s joy: texting my long distance bestie @lordfarquad because I got misty eyed thinking so many summer mornings waking up to a Colorado sunrise.
“are u okay?” no i need more money
"you seem like you hate everything" I absolutely do we are living in utterly undignified times this shit is embarrassing at an existential level
You need to start moisturizing before it's too late. I'm not talking about wrinkles or any of that nonsense. Winter is fucking coming you need to grease up or you are going to dry out like a raisin. It's too late for me but you can still save yourself. Please don't end up like me
Guys it's actually so dire please for the love of God start moisturizing right fucking now. I just put on lotion and my skin sucked it up before I could even rub it in we are in fucking crisis mode
me: I’m going to go to bed early
me:
stop everything and just look at this
early 2000′s self-care
The Others (2001)
sad? go buy a basil plant. you will still be sad but you’ll be able to make pesto in a couple months
Me, coffee person: can I take ur order?
Any customer over the age of 55: I jUSt want a SIMPle cup of coffee.
Me, again: ok what size do you w-
Grandpa again: LOOK! All I wANT is a rEGular. CUP. Of NORmAl. RUN-of-the-MILL. HOT. COFFEE. MOTHer of CHRIST with this UNAmerican VENTI-frapa-WHOO-HAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
assert your dominance by calling your friends by their student ID number
I love hearing about the vibes I give off cause I honestly have no idea
Anonymously message me what vibes I give off and why you think that