The party is trying to convince a little girl to come with him so they can hold her for ransom, they meet her at the inn.
Paladin: Hey, it’s ok! You’ll get to see your parents again, I promise, just come with us!
DM: The little girl still looks wary of you.
Rogue assassin, pushing him aside before leaning in real close and slamming her knife into the table a few inches away from her hand: Do you want to see your family again?
DM: the little girl backs away and starts crying.
Bard: nice going, pussyshits. How the hell are we supposed to kidnap her now?
Ranger: ooh, and I put her in the bag of holding, leaving it open so she can breath.
DM: ok what the fuck you guys-
Fighter: I SEAL IT, DIE MOTHERFUCKER!
Bard: WE NEED HER FOR RANSOM HANDS OFF
Paladin, with 5 wisdom: WAIT WE WERE KIDNAPPING HER???
Necromancer: HOW OBLIVIOUS ARE YOU?
Ranger, bitterly: Oblivious enough to not realize I’ve been flirting with him this entire time.
Bard: RANGER WHEN I WAS HITTING ON YOU, YOU SAID YOU WERE STRAIGHT!
*DM has slid under the table out of their chair as the table riots*