an exalted existence.

Independent Lorenz. Probably canon-divergent. Excruciatingly casual. Written by Leo. they/them Art by bogor-o.

[bogor-o]

been a hot minute since my last upload!! but i started playing acnh and found out i love green/orange combos for clothes bc they go great w/ my pink hair

but its also been 2 long since i sat down and hyper focused on a piece so i drew claude n lorenz in my favorite fits bc why not u kno!!

[bogor-o]

loREEENZ LORENZ I LOVE YOUUUU

[lorenzhellman]

Dated 15th of the ███████ Moon, 1181.

I want to sing my adoration From my bedroom window But people are far more judgmental Than the greenhouse roses. 

[lorenzhellman]

Dated 29th of the ███████ Moon, 1181.

  I’m running out of pages in this journal, so I suppose this will be my last entry. Claude has given me another as a gift, so I will turn to that soon. A full year of my thoughts, written in prose and poetry alike, have been solidified in ink.

   The man who authored the first pages is a different person from myself– or, at least, I would like to think so. I would like to imagine that my growth has been real, and not something conjured up in a hopeful dream. Perhaps the existence of my next journal alone is proof of that.

   Truthfully, there are days when I look in the mirror and no longer recognize my reflection: not for any significant physical change, but for a shift in self-perception. There are days when I look into my own eyes and wonder why a man stares back at me. Those days are few and far between, though, and I still spend more time wondering if I’m just scrambling for an escape from the expectations of manhood as a whole: from everything that has been imposed upon me since my father first assured me I would lead the Alliance.

   I don’t know if I’m running from a responsibility, or running towards an ideal. I don’t know if it matters.    I do know that one day I’d like to look in the mirror and see not just a man, but someone greater than the sum of their parts looking back at me.

[lorenzhellman]

magic!anon you are an epic poggers farmer

I’m posting this publicly so everyone can witness your shame.

[lorenzhellman]

【🐛】 me: hey can you save that as a draft really quick so i can play stardew

tumblr: what if i fucking posted it. what if i just did that. what if i did that and you didn’t notice

me: great! i love that! thanks so much!

[lorenzhellman]

【🐛】 i cant find a character page that suits my needs so i GUESS i’m going to repurpose my current code into something a little more suited for this blog

the muse page i have now is kind of a holdover from twitter/neocities so the aesthetic doesn’t match bwuhh

something with nested tags, maybe? i want something contained, but then comes the issue of making sure everything scales like i need it to

[lorenzhellman]

@moonlitdeer

   The fact that Claude and Lorenz shared a wall had once infuriated them, but nowadays, the close proximity was more than welcome. There was rarely a chance to catch Claude alone between their own busy schedule and the crowds of class and the dining hall.

   This meant the only real time they had to candidly speak with him was after everyone else had retired to their rooms, after the candle clock on their dresser had been worn down to the last notch and the first dregs of ill-timed sleep pulled at them.

   Preemptively dressed down for bed, they snuck out the door to their own room (as if anyone actually cared about curfew at this point) and strode the three yards or so it took to reach Claude’s door, knocking thrice.

   “Claude,” they spoke softly, “it’s Lorrie.”

[lorenzhellman]

Dated 23rd of the ███████ Moon, 1181.

To my dearest Mother,

  Soon, my journal will run out of pages, and I’ll tuck it into the bottom drawer of my desk, along with every letter I’ve written to you. Perhaps my words will never reach you– you’re farther away than I could have ever imagined, and I assume the Great Goddess Messenger has better things to do than pass along the sentiments of a lonely child.

  Even still, there are so many things I wish to ask you. Did you ever fall in love, Mother? What does it feel like? Is your answer different than mine?

  I teetered on the edge of the abyss for so long! When I fell in love, I fell headfirst into the deep unknown. With my eyes clenched shut, I thought something down there would swallow me whole, or burrow into my stomach and eat me alive from the inside out.

  Yet, when I opened my eyes, the unknown glittered with a thousand lights. Had the sun polluted the sky so greatly that it blinded me from the stars?

  The North Star opened my chest– my soul tore itself from my throat as he cradled my still-beating heart in his hands. I could do nothing but weep silently and think: Am I truly a man worth holding so gently, if I am indeed a man at all?

  Even now, I can still do nothing but watch, waiting, wondering if one day his arms will grow tired and he’ll crush my core, letting me bleed out into the seeming nothingness of the glittering abyss.

  I hope that he never does. I hope that one day, I find the courage to bring my star to you, and I hope that when I do, I will shine just as brightly as he does.

Forever missing you,     your darling Lorrie 

[lorenzhellman]

(art credit: yours truly)

   ❝Well, I suppose I— Wait, why are you reading my poetry? Where did you even get that?!❞

ok actually i can't dedicate myself to aesthetics uhh. hi! i'm leo, i'm returning to tumblr after a 4+ year hiatus, and iiii’m giving tumblr rp a shot again, too! 

i’ve been rping lorenz since before the game’s release, so i’ve got a relative wealth of experience, and i’m really not that selective, so please feel free to hit me up to rp! 💜

likes and reblogs are much appreciated so i can kickstart this blog!! tysm!!

[moonlitdeer]

「𝘣𝘶𝘵 𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘵𝘭𝘦 𝘥𝘰 𝘸𝘦 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸, 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘵𝘢𝘳𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘤𝘰𝘮𝘦 𝘩𝘪𝘮 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘰𝘱𝘦𝘯 𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘴」       

                                         Claude von Riegan 

 ✬ 𝘱𝘳𝘦-𝘵𝘪𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘬𝘪𝘱       ✬ 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬/𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘰𝘶𝘴          ✬ 𝘴𝘧𝘸 

written by lozy!

[lorenzhellman]

I believe everything is appropriately set up now.

[lorenzhellman]

hey stniky

Claude, please take this seriously. Honestly...