Los Angelista

Race, Parenting, Pop Culture More at LOS ANGELISTA

[losangelista2]

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I hear, I feel, and I bear witness to this powerful speech from Michaela Coel, the first Black woman to win an Emmy for outstanding writing for a limited or anthology series or movie: “I just wrote a little something for writers really. Write the tale that scares you. That makes you feel uncertain. That isn’t comfortable. I dare you. In a world that entices us to browse through the lives of others to help us better determine how we feel about ourselves, and to in turn feel the need to constantly be visible — for visibility these days seems to somehow equate to success — do not be afraid to disappear from it, from us, for awhile and see what comes to you in the silence… I dedicate this to every single survivor of sexual assault. Thank you” #writing #writers #michaelacoel #blackwomen #blackisbeautiful #imaydestroyyou #womenwriters https://www.instagram.com/p/CUBx_NrjoCX/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

I’d like to go back to the standing on a 614-year-old bridge in France in a Depeche Mode T-shirt while people play in the river below part of life. MANIFESTING MY INTENTIONS. (at France) https://www.instagram.com/p/CT9CglQLm1u/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

A little reminder to myself to not give up when I feel stuck between #3 and #4. I also have to take care of myself — and as the good ole Serenity prayer puts it, I gotta accept the things I cannot change, have the courage to change the things I can, and have the wisdom to know the difference. https://www.instagram.com/p/CTv5T2aFyXK/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

Everyone has such different feelings and emotions and thoughts about September 11. It’s hard to believe we are 20 years from a day that none of us who were alive then will ever forget. Maybe you don't want to talk about it anymore, don't want to see the footage anymore, and hate the way it's commemorated. Or maybe talking about it, attending memorials, and watching the footage helps you deal with what happened. I don't believe there's a "right" way to remember or observe, but I do think it's another reminder to tell the people you love them... and show that through your actions. Don’t leave the love unsaid. Be with the people you love as often as you can. It’s all that really matters. https://www.instagram.com/p/CTsFp5rJjm1/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

I’m so grateful and blessed to be Toussaint’s mother. I love him so dearly, and I love love love seeing his soul shining with so much light and life. One month until he turns 18! #blackisbeautiful #blacksun #dressedinallblackliketheomen (at Leimert Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTlrwyoLrow/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

Yes, I have a mental list of individuals I’d like to drop kick, throat punch, AND projectile vomit on. Yes, this here art is probably about being kind to plants and animals. But we don’t hand-feed treats to wolves, do we? There’s so much societal pressure to not have personal boundaries and to “be kind” to people who have done harm to you (or your children, family, or friends) — all without understanding that kindness does not mean not having boundaries and it does not mean not demanding justice. I find myself thinking how a few years ago my dear friend @bobbyaazami — in acknowledgment that people who are sexually abused as children are often put in the position to be “kind” to their abuser and to keep the abuse a secret — raised the bar when he posted on FB that if he was friends with someone who is your abuser, just DM him and he would unfriend that person on FB and in real life. I’d never heard or read someone make such a direct statement like that and it stuck with me. There was no we should be “kind” or “forgiving” fakery to distract from a need for justice. The excuse we hear in all sorts of situations, “That’s too bad that happened to you, but that person has always been nice to me,” is trash. Asking a person to be kind to someone who has done them wrong and then policing their kindness? Nah. Instead of fixating on people’s “kindness,” pay attention to folks who have done harm and have not atoned for their actions. Put the heat on them. And be grateful some of us stay prayed up. (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTgfXAsLG8Q/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

This past week or so reminded me of that line in “The Lord of the Rings” when Galadriel says: “ The Quest stands upon the edge of a knife. Stray but a little and it will fail, to the ruin of all. Yet hope remains while all the Company is true.” It feels like we’re on the edge of a knife, non? So the company of those who are true is essential for survival. Love and friendship and being in nature are essential for survival. Thanks to @sanbonitas @sweatpantsmom and @loeiyeen for spending time with me recently. And of course, Athena and Andromeda are my constant companions. I’m hugging those two a whole lot these days. https://www.instagram.com/p/CTY3Qm6r75s/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

With Olinga off to college again it’s quieter than usual — I miss the sound of him always playing guitar. It got me thinking about how much I’ve loved sharing music with my boys and seeing them make it their own. This first video of them losing their shit at a @foofighters concert — you see 2C and hear Olinga — ALWAYS makes me laugh. 2C and I also used to sing a LOT in the car… and I took him to meet Alonzo Williams of World Class Wreckin’ Cru and hear about the early days of West Coast hip hop. They spent a lot of time jammin in Guitar Center. Baby kitty Athena on Olinga’s guitar is forever my fave. Singing Depeche Mode, going to Depeche Mode shows… And of course, the visual artist always can use a guitar-playing break. I hope they both always love music in this way and don’t forget it’s ability to bring them joy and bring them together. #sons #music #motherhood #foofighters #voicescarry #depechemode (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTG3wp_LKtS/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

It’s my dear sister Cyndee’s birthday today and y’all, I wanted to post an incredible video of her doing squats at the gym with like 100-lb weights cos she is Wonder Woman, but she vetoed it with some “that’s private!” Sigh. Instead, she sent me this pic of her looking beautiful with some gorgeous birthday flowers and told me I could post that. She’s my big sister, I must obey! Cyndee deserves all the love today and always — she works hard, is an exercise devotee, has a sense of adventure on steroids, is a loyal friend, volunteers more than anyone, is a mentor, a veteran, and is the most Type-A person on the planet… which means she really suffered when she had to share a room with me when we were little. She’s been putting up with me since my demon child days and I love her dearly. I love to laugh with her but she ain’t no joke. Evidence: The last pic when she serves her “Play with your children, not with me!” lewk with just a hint of a smile. #happybirthday #sisters #blackisbeautiful #virgo #virgoseason https://www.instagram.com/p/CTA2m4Eplmf/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

“I love, but I am not entirely sure how to be loved: how to be seen and known for the utterly flawed woman I am. It demands surrender. It demands acknowledging that I am not perfect, but perhaps I deserve affection anyway.” 📸 in #paris in the courtyard of the #louvre by @demis.courquet.lesaulnier — and it is so... ethereal. Otherworldly. | Words from an essay @roxanegay74 wrote for @guardian a few years back that have stuck with me. And truly, I do feel so very SEEN. #portrait #mood #iphonography #shotoniphone #postcardsfromtheworld #light #shadow (at Musée du Louvre) https://www.instagram.com/p/CS8df5sr9J_/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

This morning I did something I haven’t been able to do since March: I hiked to the top of Mt. Hollywood. I used to do it once or twice a week and RUN parts of it easy peasy… and then I developed severe pericarditis (inflammation of the sac that holds your heart) in March which led to me feeling like I was having a heart attack most of the time. I had to sleep propped up to reduce pain — which meant I didn’t sleep — and my doc told me if I managed to walk five mins in a day, that was a good day. Plus having to take lots of meds and do other medical not fun stuff that I won’t bore you with. Sigh. I’m not exaggerating when I say I thought I was going to die for most of April and May and part of June. I’ve been through chemo and surgery and radiation and I would take that hell over the pain I experienced with my heart. All through cancer treatment I was good at fronting like I was fairly OK. But with this? My heart? I thought there was a good chance I’d never again get to tell people I love that I love them. My cardiologist said to rest and rest and rest — but how do you do that when you work full time, you’re a single mom responsible for everything, and you gotta make sure one of your sons graduates from high school? Oh and a dual pandemic of racism and COVID-19? Heh. And then I got unceremoniously laid off from my job on May 7, which eliminated my health insurance and income — just what you need to happen when your heart is literally broken and you are the sole breadwinner for your family. But true friends — people who genuinely love me and my family — had my back in ALL the ways. And so it may have taken me more than an hour to get to the top of the mountain this morning, but I was able to do it because of people who love me. Y’all know who you are. I see you and I love you. Amen. (at Mount Hollywood) https://www.instagram.com/p/CS212PmF_UQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

Off to college part deux. When Olinga came home from the School of the Art Institute of Chicago in March 2020, I couldn’t have predicted that due to COVID -19 he wouldn’t be returning to campus until August 2021. He left as a freshman and returns as a junior. I just dropped him off at LAX. WHEW! I’m extremely grateful he has survived a pandemic thus far and significant SIGNIFICANT family difficulties, but I know both have left their mark on his heart and soul. It’s my prayer that getting to pour his emotions and spirit into his art, all while being surrounded by other creators, will uplift and refresh him so that his light can shine ever more brightly. I love Olinga with all my heart and I’m so so proud of him for persevering and for being the brilliant, gentle, and old soul he has been since the second he was born. AND he is well on his way to being the second Black male in our family to graduate from college. It’s a journey that takes a village. Put those prayers and positive thoughts into the ether for him please. Amen. Ase. (at LAX - Los Angeles International Airport) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSyXsf1L3-3/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

Overhead in Paris: “I guess it’s better than yesterday.” Perhaps it applies every day here? After all, I didn’t dance with an accordion player on the Pont des Arts yesterday. All photos of me looking like a Frenchified snack by the one and only @demis.courquet.lesaulnier #paris #parisjetaime #blackisbeautiful (at Paris, France) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSkfJ_9pVCw/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

Love has everything to do with it. (at France) https://www.instagram.com/p/CSH5oFjLGNl/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

In France, they don’t ask if you want paper or plastic. Instead, you can bring your own bag or get a crate for free!!! #savetheplanet #france #justsaynotoplastic #noplastic #greenliving #greenshopping #organic (at France) https://www.instagram.com/p/CR9tYh1rxgo/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

Nothing but love, respect, and prayers for #simonebiles and all other Black women claiming the word “no.” https://www.instagram.com/p/CR2EctfratH/?utm_medium=tumblr

[losangelista2]

I’m in a tiny French village that is easily one of the most beautiful places I’ve ever been. It’s so small you can’t drive on the streets! They’re too tiny — merely narrow paths snacking up the hillsides. You have to park outside the village and walk in. And there are TWO castles, a lovely old church, cute kitties, a river, grapes growing everywhere… Can I stay forever? #france #rural #frenchvillage (at France) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRw8IKgLcXM/?utm_medium=tumblr