TOO FAR!

[fytomhopper]

Billy being too big for a goddamn ship

[loser-too-far]

No, grabbing the trusses overhead is just another excuse for him to flex his biceps.  

[cracked]

Even if your school assigns a hilarious and subversive book like Catch-22, it’s going to be hard for you to really fall in love with it, because you’re not thinking, “Let’s check out this book!” You’re thinking, “Shit, I have to read three chapters by Wednesday and there’s gonna be a quiz about it.” School puts reading three chapters of an amazing book in the same mental category of memorizing history dates and trying to crack calculus problems. That is, hands down, the worst fucking thing to ever happen to novels.

High school turns reading – a thing people do on the beach on vacation – into homework – a thing kids dread because it takes them away from whatever they’d rather be doing.

The way we teach history is totally bonkers too. High school and a history textbook taught me Grover Cleveland was our only president to serve two non-consecutive terms – the other books taught me that he staged a secret mouth surgery at sea over a 4th of July weekend so the American people wouldn’t find out that he had cancer.

High school and a syllabus taught me I needed to “get the right answers” on my Of Mice And Men quiz or else I’d be a failure. It’s not important as far as the class is concerned if I wept when I finished the book; what matters is what this book says about Great Depression-era literature. (I, uh … think?)

Dan O'Brien’s Guide To Bettering Our Schools

[thisdanobrien]

I wrote a column for the first time in many months, and you can read it right now if you want.

[willorcs]

youtube:

me:

[loser-too-far]

+1 for The Wire reference

[loser-too-far]

Bro moment #4 - Marco and Byamba

First, I’ll acknowledge that no one can help but love Byamba; he is written as the Diomedes of the series and as such he is the strongest, bravest, most morally upright, and least conflicted character in the story. He also gets bonus points for being a bastard, because we love a hero who doesn’t have a picture-perfect parental situation going on (i.e. Spider-Man, Superman, Batman, Luke Skywalker, etc. etc. etc.)

But even if you saw this coming from me a mile away I don’t care. Seeing Marco and Byamba fight back-to-back gave me such a warm fuzzy feeling that I had to make them Broment #4. 

They obviously have a bond rooted in the fact that one is a bastard son and the other was abandoned by his dad for very selfish reasons, and it only gets better from there. They go on a cool camping trip together to find the Hashshashin during which Marco intervenes on Byamba’s behalf, Byamba saves Marco’s life by standing up to his younger but more legitimate brother, then finally he brings it full circle by showing up in the nick of time to save bof of dey asses.

What gets me most excited about this bromance is that it’s still developing. I hope there is a third season and I hope that season includes more Marco & Byamba... Myamba? Byarco?

[loser-too-far]

Prince Jingim

Season 1 Jingim was someone you perpetually wanted to punch in the face

But they added facial hair and now Season 2 Jingim is someone I totally would hang out with. Like he’d be a dope friend and we’d have some good times together.

[loser-too-far]

[loser-too-far]

“Around the word, our people are under attack.”

[loser-too-far]

When Det. Carter is asked about anything, ever. And sometimes when she’s not even asked. 

[loser-too-far]

These are two adorable pictures from perhaps the most perfect cosplay I’ve ever seen. The two models are dead ringers for Snake and Quiet, and they nailed every little detail...no “adaptation” or creative license taken, yet still tons of creativity. They can be found here: 

Snake

https://www.facebook.com/maulcosplay

Quiet (along with a video from this shoot!)

https://www.facebook.com/majafelicitas

More photos from the set

http://cosplay.kotaku.com/amazing-metal-gear-solid-v-cosplay-has-a-real-diamond-d-1737908398

[loser-too-far]

Bro moment #3 - Thor and Vision

Early in Age of Ultron, it’s a point of pride with Thor that no one else in the group (or on the planet) is worthy enough to pick up his hammer. The only one to even come close to budging it is our lord and savior Captain America, who is without sin, upright and blameless, and a shining light for all mankind, etc. (@lesbihonest-here)

And then an hour later this happens: 

Cap’s attempt at lifting the hammer made him nervous, so naturally Thor has a reason to be uneasy with Vision. When you’re used to being the biggest guy around ...

...who knows what it does to your ego when someone just as big shows you up in front of your friends? I sure don’t, cuz I’ve never been the biggest guy. But it turns out, in Thor’s case, he and Vision don’t become enemies or competitors. They become friends. 

This is the broment. This tender scene, lasting just barely more than a second, shows Thor and Vision standing outside on the balcony alone, right before the big showdown with the villain. We don’t know what they’re saying, but I’d imagine that enough is said when two gods stand in silent reverence before battle. 

With their majestic capes and perfect stature, chiseled triceps and calm nerves, they stand in admiration of each other. One is a thousand years old, the other minutes old but they have respect for each other in this moment despite being brand-new acquaintances. It’s not the kind of deep-rooted bromance I usually single out, but it definitely makes the cut. 

[loser-too-far]

[loser-too-far]

[loser-too-far]

I’ve given up supplements. Watching this is my new pre-workout. 

[loser-too-far]

[loser-too-far]

Bro moment #2 - Luke and Han

A series of my favorite bromances in movie and TV history.

Before the Death Star rescue: Luke annoys Han, Han makes fun of him, both are looking to get something out of the other.

After the Death Star rescue: they’re kicking back talking about girls. Well, one specific girl to be exact, and the idea that they’re both after the same girl doesn’t seem to bother Han at all. Maybe he’s cocky confident that his maturity/looks/occupation/ship/whatever puts him in a better position than Luke, so he’s not worried. 

Or maybe this is the moment when their trust begins to build. The loyalty that brings Han back to the Battle of Yavin, that sends him into a blizzard, that pulls Luke away from his training, that orchestrates a dangerous rescue from Jabba’s palace, and that finally pulls Han out of pseudo-retirement to bring his friend home. 

I like that smile of Han’s because to me it says “You’re alright, kid.” 

[loser-too-far]

Bro moment #1 - Darcy and Bingley

A series of my favorite bromances in movie and TV history.

The true strength of Darcy’s and Bingley’s friendship is revealed in the pivotal scene when Darcy and Elizabeth argue in the rain. Darcy lets on that it was his suggestion to Bingley that caused him to break up with Jane. 

Now digest that for a minute. If you were madly in love with someone, and your relationship seemed to be going swimmingly in every aspect, and then your friend told you to break it off, would you? Bingley did, without hesitation. That’s how much he valued his friend’s opinion. 

That’s a trust that you don’t see every day. And when it turned out that Darcy had misjudged the situation, he set upon remedying the situation and helped Bingley get Jane back. Bingley didn’t blame his friend, didn’t trust him less afterwards; instead he enlisted Darcy’s help once again, because their friendship wasn’t conditional on a scoreboard of good and bad decisions. 

And I wholly believe that Darcy would do the same thing again, if he ever felt like someone or something wasn’t in Bingley’s best interest. The intentions were pure, and his course of action was decisive and effective; I could never fault Mr. Darcy for that. But perhaps he’s not the more courageous of the two. 

Bingley demonstrates the greater courage--the greater faith--by receiving the feedback and trusting his friend’s observations over his very subjective judgement in the matter. And even if his second attempt at winning over Jane had failed, I believe that Bingley’s and Darcy’s friendship would continue just as before. (I also believe that Darcy would stop at nothing to convince Jane to get back with Bingley again, had that been the case). 

[loser-too-far]