:•| @losercore - Tumblr Blog

i no longer find the words “tender” and “soft” appealing in reference to love, i want love to feel hard like a lizard on a hot rock

i want to live my life the way i thought it would happen when i was younger & imagining a life i could live with. & i know life usually doesn’t happen the way you imagine it but all the things i thought would make me happy are based in action and theres no reason i cant try to do those things. firstly i want to read books again and invest more time in interacting with my surroundings. i also realized just this week that there is nothing stopping me from listening to jazz

when i think of being happy its usually in terms of what i miss & not what i’m looking forward to. i should remember this & try to change it

marlbororeds100s-deactivated202

it’s just been so long since i’ve really connected with someone and it’s wearing me down a bit

i kind of didn’t expect to be so alone and i’m not sure why not bc it totally tracks but i just kind of thought i had made progress in that area but i am surprised by all the things that shouldn’t be surprising like the transience of relationships in your 20s

movies about heroin <3

me doing my dishes today: this is war

i rly only allowed myself to say that i have trauma like last year & i still don’t actually believe it so honestly i don’t blame myself for not having healed very much after all these years

#i thought it was ✨ not that bad ✨#turns out it ✨ doesn’t matter ✨#i am ✨ deeply affected to this day ✨

i wanna get railed

#thinking of someone specific 😌#will i ever get to spend a night with that magnificent specimen.....#i can always tell when i am ovulating it is glaringly obvious

what’s with my aquarius venus & my thing 4 friends-to-lovers & please can i catch a break

#i’m very confused these days #i’m hopelessly in love w a friend #& i fear telling them #& i suspect a different friend is in love w me #& i very much fear them telling me so

when i was a teen instead of drinking or doing drugs i would drink monster & feel like i was rly living

#now i am a weed addict #:)

wish i had more bros. specifically bros who will have sex w me

#i will continue to have this fantasy where the two bros get mad and engage in a fist fight and then kiss

me, feeling sorry: i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry im sor ry i’m s ry