Talk Shit Get Hit

19|gay|brajn broke i am lost in a target

[mevil]

[rodyathecoyote]

[bunniope]

HOW IT FEELS TO BE AN EVIL WOMAN WHEN YOU SEE A SENSITIVE YOUNG MAN

[airoehead]

[tahthetrickster]

enamored lately with an asmr channel i stumbled upon on youtube that’s literally just a sweet korean lady pretending to give her enormous ragdoll cat (who she pretends is a famous and wealthy cat actress) extravagant spa treatments that are wildly, wildly overpriced (because the cat is rich)

[tahthetrickster]

it’s fine she’s good for it

[cannibalchicken]

[s9sh9]

[ejacutastic]

[vyrkann]

[thotsandpreyers]

[nickiemoot]

tags via @trexila

[footlongdingledong]

rarely do i repost things and especially from shittr but this video is shutting down core partsof my mental processing i think

[queer-as-city-folk]

tumblr users are living in a world wholly their own which I can not help but envy

[clickysteve]

Naxos, Greece. 2025.

[aquilacalvitium]

Someone photoshop a minecraft water block in

[trainsofthought]

[probuccalfat]

one time i told a group of lesbian and bi women that i have never watched wicked and they were shocked, gagged, gooped, “but you’re queer. you like pussy. how have you not seen wicked?” yeah. well. i like pussy, not musicals?

[probuccalfat]

i’m this exact post. all this just to fuck women.

[probuccalfat]

“are you going to the lucy dacus concert?” no. i listen to gucci mane.

[veil-of-exordia]

[teapartyasian]

Is there a word that’s a mix between angry and sad

[cacen]

malcontented, disgruntled, miserable, desolated

[smattenhove]

smad.

[samirows-blog]

there are two types of people

[robinstome]

there's no fucking way

[historyisntboring]

2,500-year-old Siberian 'ice mummy' had intricate tattoos

The woman, aged about 50, was buried in a Siberian ice cave and discovered millennia later.

She was a 50 y.o. Siberian woman from 2500 years ago, living a nomadic lifestyle, and look at her tattoos...

Look...

I'm going to cry

[xekstrin]

Prev mentioned “did you see the chicken tattoo though” and i wanna make sure everyone else sees it too

[micro-usb-deactivated20230625]

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[beardedmrbean]

[ooppo]

At this point it's more disappointing than shocking that not a single assassin in the states can aim a fucking gun

[ooppo]

Not fucking really