not to sound like a christian facebook mom but some of yall need to have grace in your hearts for the people in your lives or the people you pass once on the road and never see again like you literally need to stop assuming the worst of everyone and their intentions it is poisoning your brain. you can be careful and responsible without being a miserable person. it is possible i promise
you are a tar pit and you live this way because you choose to.
Also, if you're a jerk to others, the percentage of jerks you interact with will be higher than if you're not a jerk.
By being a jerk, you're actively making your life harder and less pleasant. This is because we're a social species, and we do this thing called "mirroring" usually unconsciously, so people tend to reflect the behavior you put out, back to you.
Also you can intentionally be kinder with people, and they'll be kinder to you.
We are a social species depended on cooperation to survive. Altruistic behavior is actually what's in our genetic past, far more than jerks.
A few years back, my comedian husband was at Cardiff Glee Club, waiting to perform. He's friends with all the staff there, so he was chatting to one of the glass collectors while the audience were coming in, finding their seats, ordering drinks to their tables etc
It was a busy night, and apparently the bar and kitchen were both running a little behind. Mid conversation , a woman strode up to Steff and his friend and aggressively said "I get that you're having a nice time, guys, but some of us are still waiting on drinks, so do you think you could do your jobs?"
Before either could answer, the bar manager materialised.
"Well, he's a glass collector and he's one of the acts on tonight," she said politely, pointing them out. "So, neither of them can help you. But I'm the manager, can I help?"
("I specified that," the manager told Steff afterwards, "because if she's going to be a dick, I'm going to waste her time by telling her why she's wrong and has just been stupid before I help her.")
"Yes," said the woman, now gearing up to get good and annoyed to compensate for her embarrassment. "We've been waiting for our drinks for over half an hour! This is ridiculous!"
"I'm sorry about that," says the manager. "We're super busy tonight, as you can see. What's your order number? I'll check its status."
The woman gave it. The manager looked it up.
"Ah," said the manager. "I see the problem - these were ordered twelve minutes ago, but there's currently a twenty minute wait, as you can see on the board. I'll see what we can do to speed it up, though, and we'll get to it as soon as we can."
The woman grumbled and left.
The manger put her one lower in the queue.
Five minutes later, a second woman from a different group arrived.
"Sorry, it's very possible I'm being a bother and you'll get to it soon," she smiled. "But I just wondered if there's an update on our order? It's been a while."
"I'm so sorry," the manager said, "we're super busy. Let me check for you... Yes, you're still in the queue. We'll get to you as soon as possible, shouldn't be long now."
"Oh!" says the woman. "No, no worries, I just thought I'd double check to make sure we hadn't somehow dropped off the system. Thank you!"
She left, and the manager put her one higher in the queue. When her order was made, the manager added an extra bottle of beer, and a little note that said "Sorry for the wait :)"
And I tell this tale because, the thing is... If this is typical behaviour, that first woman probably goes her whole life never quite being happy, never quite content, always missing out on free moments of human connection. By contrast, the second woman goes her life getting those little gestures, being seen that little bit earlier, having a slightly smoother time of things.
And neither probably even realises. In a thousand small ways, Second Woman has a happier time than First Woman, entirely down to their behaviour.
So yeah - act like a cunt to people, they'll repay you in kind. That's how it works. Your choice if you want that or not ig
