Part of your Wonderland

Emily Christine - Texas/Florida Disney CP Alumni. sw:140 cw:129 lw:118 Sunflowers & bees Patrick, Erin, Steven, & Jon. Rest easy dear friends.

[lost-inspaceee]

[coq]

[sternen--staub]

occasional posts from users

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[liss-ome]

[lost-inspaceee]

keeping this secret from literally everyone.

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[miscarriageandme]

[lost-inspaceee]

I can't believe I'm here again. This time I made it to 12 weeks although apparently the baby stopped developing at 9 1/2. The worst sound ever is silence when you’re supposed to be hearing your baby’s heartbeat. I feel so betrayed by my body honestly. I wish I could make sense of any of this.

Why is this so fucking hard. Two pregnancies, two miscarriages. This one is so much worse than the first because I kept my guard up for so long and had just let it down... I let myself be excited. I was going to announce it to the world in a few weeks. We were days away from the second trimester.

I haven't felt this kind of emptiness since 2013 and that was the lowest low of my life. I don't know how to fake my way through work and sympathetic eyes tomorrow.

[dennybitte]

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matialonsor

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[lost-inspaceee]

Today would have been my first Mother’s Day and it’s a dull ache of a sadness I feel in the middle of my chest.

I want to be a mom so badly.

[themountainlaurel-deactivated20]