my life = murphy’s law

| Jade | 20 | She/They | College Student | HEDS, POTS, VCD, Migraines, Autism, ADD, MCAS(?) Currently trying to get my medical stuff situated

[disjournaled-scrolls]

"I have anxiety tics" "I have anxiety seizures" You have Functional Neurological Disorder. Doctors avoid telling you the actual name because they don't feel like explaining it or just don't believe in it, but if you're getting tics from it, it literally can not be just anxiety. It's a full system of symptoms and causes. You need to have a tic disorder in order to have tics. Doctors can still spread medical misinformation to their patients, especially with highly stigmatized conditions. Please stay safe and be careful with what you're presenting as fact.

[lost-spoons]

Im about to do 12 hours of flying so I can go see family i barely like. My body is going to hurt so bad. At least I remembered to get a doctor's note for my protein shakes so I can bring them through airport security, but I still have a feeling my trip is going to suck

[stxrfiish]

body positivity can be so hard when ur chronically ill like ‘your body loves you and is doing its best to care for you ❤️’ NO THE FUCK IT IS NOT

[lost-spoons]

I just got my wisdom teeth out, but am pretty coherent so Im working on my fanfic. James has decided he cant leave me alone and is guarding the door which is being kept open for once so that may parents can more easily check in on me.

[lost-spoons]

Meet James and his emotional support stingray!

James just arived home last week and is my service dog in training! Hes a treewalking coonhound with the best temperment. Very calm and quiet (so long as he can see me or knows where I am, as hes decided im his person so im his business) Hes formerly a show dog so he already knows how to walk in a heel and behave in public. Now all I have to do is teach him the actual medical stuff for Mobility, Psychiatric, and Cardiac Alert. He'll be going off for some board and training later on, but for now its on me. Wish me luck!

[lost-spoons]

Life update.

I had to put down one of our cats today. My cat. My family had 4 cats, but the one we put down today, he was mine. My favorite. My baby. I had to put him down due to health deterioration. He was in pain. He was suffering. It was his time to go, to rest.

I cried 2 days ago when we made the decision, and I cried today when he was put down at the vet, but I didn't get to cry for long, because it sent me into a medical episode, so I had to get myself back under control. I don't get to cry anymore because no one wanted to deal with my medical issues today, not even me, so I'm just clenching my jaw and blinking back tears.

I didn't want to go home after we left the vet. That was an odd realization. I didn't want to go home because Jinx wouldn't be there anymore, and I didn't want to be there without him.

I went home anyway.

I made a cup of coffee and sat at my seat with his collar on the table next to me where he was supposed to be laying.

It hurts.

[lost-spoons]

Life update-

Just finished my spring semester, pretty sure I failed. I get about 2 weeks off before my summer classes, which is my second English requirement and my science requirement.

My partner and I broke up, we're still friends but the stress from my medical issues was really bad for their mental health so we broke up to let them focus on their mental health, and I can focus on my physical health.

I'm currently looking into dog breeders from the AKC registry for my service dog prospect.

I still have a feeding tube but the feed has decreased from 8 bottles to 5 to 3 which is what I'm on now.

My POTS has been acting up which is rude.

My little sibling is graduating high school soon.

And I think that's all the exciting things

[lost-spoons]

I just got a feeding tube put down my nose- I don't like it. It feels weird everytime I swallow.

This is so uncomfortable

[lost-spoons]

Heres a none medical post cause I don't feel like acknowledging my issues right now-

I am but an art major doing my monochromatic designs in college. Had to do a black and white, a cool tone, and a warm tone.

[lost-spoons]

I'm so tired of throwing up. I haven't been able to keep food down for 3 months and what i can keep down is so random. I don't know the rule of this stupid game and it's exhausting. I'm down to 97 pounds, which means if I loose 2 more I have to be hospitalized and I really don't want to

[lost-spoons]

I have officially been diagnosed! I have ADHD and Autism

Co-morbidities are fun :)

[lost-spoons]

As a multiracial (Japanese, Mexican, Acadian), gay (Pan, Ace, Demiro), nonbinary, (They/she) disabled (POTS, HEDS, VCD, etc. etc.) AFAB person, Trump winning is absolutely terrifying.

[lost-spoons]

The time line for my service dog has been set up! Around May - September 2026, I will finally be getting my service dog. This lines up with when I'll be switching from community college to a 4 year college, which is when I'll be alone and need the extra help, but that's not the point of this post.

I have a question:

What supplies do you need for a (large) dog?

I know the basics but I want to make sure I get everything, so any lists you can give would be helpful! Please and thank you <3

[lost-spoons]

I use this thing called a zero gravity treadmill at physical therapy, which makes it so ii can walk at a reduced body weight. Right now I'm up to 75% of my body weight, and apparently they usually only take paitens up to 85%, then they have you work out side of the zero gravity at full body weight.

When I get to full body weight, they're gonna try and transition me from forearm crutches to a cane or singular forearm crutch. So that's exciting.

[lost-spoons]

School starts on Monday :)

....I'm going to melt into a pudle of brainless goop.

Anyways, I'm going to be applying for a service dog program called Medical Mutts on the 1st of September, after I get the go ahead from my doctor who treats my heds on August 30th. I already got the go ahead from my doctor that handles my POTS, Orthostatic hypotension, and Anxiety.

The service dog will be for heart rate and blood pressure alerts, mobility, and anxiety disruption (because I can't feel anxiety, but my body still displays the symptoms, which leads to really strange anxiety attacks since I can't feel any of it emotionally)

If the timing works out, I should be getting the service dog right in time for when I move from Community College to a UC

My school schedule is already plotted out for the rest of my time till I transfer and I've already chosen what school I want to go to and what potential scholarships I could apply to. I worked out a budget chart today so that I could know if I can cover room and board right after paying for a service dog, and thankfully the answer is yes. All my years of saving is working in my favor.

I'm slowly becoming an independent person :D

[rose-tinted-vision]

nine people I’d like to get to know better 💘💘💘

thank you for the tag Kitty!! @lianhuajing <3

🎶 Last song I listened to: 万物不如你 by 张杰

📺 Currently watching: The Double (墨雨云间) and the Link Click live action (时光代理人)

🌶️ Sweet/Savory/Spicy?: savory, I'm a weak bitch who can't take spice 😔

❤️ Relationship status: single! not looking for a relationship so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

🤩 Current obsession: too tired to hyperfixate on anything currently oop- my previous hyperfixation was Qingye, though.

Tagging: @evolutionsbedingt @extraordinarilyextreme @joyouslee @marquisguyun @la-muerta @labseraph @astrowaffles @l7k-a (as usual, there's no obligation to do this!)

[astrowaffles]

Thanks for the tag rose!

Last song I listened to:

Currently watching: WIND BREAKER

Sweet/savory/spicy: sweet!!

Relationship status: embarrassingly I have a bf

Current obsession: I'm back on my yotd bullshit. If you haven't seen or read it then DO SO WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY

tagging @good-vs-evo @habizuh-studios @makkisucks @heysillybee @anqelbean @leieryx ... Okay I don't know enough people six will have to do

[habihabizhh-supports]

ahhh thank you for the tag astro!! :D Last song I listened to:

Currently watching: nothing atm but i was watching the svsss donghua!!

Sweet/savory/spicy: Sweet :)

Relationship status: "love yourself, not me" -pei ming (im single)

Current obsession: DANMEI- working my way through purchasing/finding ways to read more series besides mxtx!! ahh yall tagged whoever I wanted to tag.. so 6 it is... anyway @fishfilletinacan @tornado1992 @tinywater @stay-gold-ponybro @canayams-art @lav3ndarrr

[tornado1992]

Thanks for the tag!

Last song I listened to:

Currently watching: Blue Lock, Community, The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, Villanous, My adventures with Superman

Sweet/savory/spicy: Savory! (I’m currently hungry so this doesn’t help I’m imagining food)

Relationship status: Single! (Idk wtf is going on anymore!)

Current obsession: Stickers! All themes, all kind, all textures! Currently saving to go to a sticker convention!

Now, tagging people! My greatest enemy! (Is this proper? can I tag u guys, are we friends? Allies perhaps?)

@000marie198 @0vergrowngraveyard @nixoon-again @very-uncorrect @nortedwayfinder @donelywell @brainworms-all-night-long @sparkles-rule-4eva @kisaki-yazmin-motou

[very-uncorrect]

Ooo!!

Last song I listened to:

Currently watching: Saiki K, YOU, 3 Body Problem

Sweet/savoury/spicy: ahh I love all of them but savoury is the most broad

Relationship status: single lol (I haven't found a lovely queer woman to date yet unfortunately)

Current obsession: horror (surreal, psychological, existential, eldritch, etc etc)

Tagging (also my worst enemy), /nf!: @tastypizza49 @the-astral-idiot @mirpkechi @ace--of-all-trades @ymbly @fruitier-mushroom @paperbagirlratlover @sagescider @slime-the-awesomeguy

[epistleii]

Last song I listened to:

Currently watching: nothing 😭

Sweet/savoury/spicy: sweet n spicy

Relationship status: in desperate need to be kissed on the broken swing set in the hill by a woman with the stars in her eyes (single and sad)

Current obsession: disappointing my father by getting more alt goth by the week

@book-girl4evaaa

@c0nste1l4tion

@throatofdelusion12

[throatofdelusion12]

currently watching: Hermitcraft

Sweet/savoury/spicy: spice

Relationship status: lonely

current obsession: fantasy

[throatofdelusion12]

last song: Sirens by The Mechanisms

@prestonmonterey

@sashathegirliepop

[sashathegirliepop]

currently watching: nothing :( (the last thing i watched was hermit too lmao)

sweet/savory/spicy: sweet ngl

relationship status: taken :33

current obsession: Witherburn After School News

last song:

DONT QUESTION IT

@allieswithbenefits @adams-world-domination-plans @august12liiin @accio-atticus @amethyst-aster @bella-bo-fella @bear-man74 @carcin0-88 @despairdoodlesreal @discarded-like-your-roses @dontforgettherats @delicatecentipede @eldritchcats @fasterthanasp33dingbullet @fivemourners-onefuneral @forflightlessbirds @goodtimewithmars @homosexual-wizardry-13 @huntoftheclock @keithbutgay @kip-davis @kyathedino @ket4jet @little-pangender-idiot @l4pl4ces--4ngel @moonstonecockatiel @mentaly-ill-noah @moldy-guacamole @nomx33 @prestonmonterey @rowaltiora @swingingswordofdamocles @stolenmakeupbrush @trezoblossoming @vincentaureliuslin @zeros-dumpsterfire

[discarded-like-your-roses-deact]

📺 Currently watching: Lucifer with my friend

🌶️ Sweet/Savory/Spicy?: SAVORY (I hate black pepper too op)

Relationship status: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH im single????

🤩 Current obsession: a fictional game thing that I'm sketching out because I can't code

@dorkfacedtheoo @acewithobsessions @swiftiebookwormlogastellus @thegirlwholivesin-delusion

@sakiyaki-sashimi @touratoura @expiredhydrogenperoxide @scrambledd3ggss

@veryhappysoup @ethan424242 @letshakethispoetoutofthebeast @apparitiongnostic

@url0calcrvckhead @chaosgremlinlivinginyourwalls @before--midnight @daydream-of-a-wallflower

@prestonmonterey @jasperthenotfriendlyghost @howdydoodle-toodleloo @extremereader

:D

[scrambledd3ggss]

Ty for the tag! last song I listened to:

Currently watching: Brooklyn 99

sweet/savory/spicy?: I like sweet the most! I also like savory, but mostly sweet

relationship status: happily single and keeping it that way :)

current obsession: so so many things… but today it’s filling out character sheets for my OCs :D (and the outsiders musical 😔)

Tagging: @whentheskittlesfightback @goodbye432 @aceforwhatevenisthis @ifollowapollo @peanuts-space and anyone else who want to join!

[goodbye432]

🎶 Last song I listened to: Life is Sweeter from Descendants: Rise of Red

📺 Currently watching: nothing rn, but planning on checking out The Office

🌶️ Sweet/Savory/Spicy?: Savory! Can’t do spice lol

❤️ Relationship status: single! not rlly wanting a relationship <3

🤩 Current obsession: Mix of Cinderella Boy, Tim Drake, & Tony Stark

Tagging: @5staryannii @meggmaster @spooky-lil-spider-enjoyer @importantchildcollector @theacemagpie @alexanderhamioton321 @gothamnighthawk @potatocat1931 @binglepringle @drowningroane

[theacemagpie]

Thanks for the tag!

Last song i listened to: Chemtrails Over The Country Club- Lana Del Ray

Currently watching: nothing new really but I starred re-watching House MD and Brooklyn 99

Relationship status: single and would like to keep it that way

Current obsession: DC and Batfam esp Tim and also Seventh Horcrux by EmeraldAshes the fanfic. Doesn't matter how long ago I got over hp that fic has a chokehold on me and I come back to re read it every few months. Just read it again and as hilarious as ever, truly a 10/10

Tagging- @four-leafed-queer-gal @apathyofthesympathetic @psychokatrixxxy @missingnightwingsmullet @castiels-big-supernaturals @ohtobecat @livingtobethevillain @sir-ghost-the-green and all other mutuals!

[sir-ghost-the-green]

Ooh thanks for tagging me Magpie!!!

Last Song I Listened To: If waking up to it playing counts, then All You Wanna Do from the Six Live On Opening Night recording, but the last song I consciously listened to was Thunder Bringer from Epic: The Musical The Thunder Saga

Currently Watching: I started Blue Exorcist recently, but I haven’t picked it back up yet

Relationship Status: My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 1/2 years now 💙

Current Obsession: there’s a few lol. DC, especially Batfam, super especially Tim. Danny Phantom, especially in crossovers. Epic: The Musical. The Hobbit, especially Everybody Lives/Nobody Dies fics. Crocheting. I could keep going, but this is getting to be quite a list 😅

Tags:

@lost-spoons @autistic-human @the-little-crow

@mythology-void @3andahalfbagsofgayconfetti @staravo @queerweirdness @kodedgeekthings if you want to ofc, no pressure!

[lost-spoons]

Thanks for the tag! 🥰

Last song: Cloud Above My Head by Dina Rebekka

Currently watching: I don't really watch TV shows :)

Sweet/spicy/savory: Sweet! I have a huge sweet tooth

Relationship Status: Taken! I have a partner of almost 2 years, we're high-school sweethearts 💕

Current obsession: Percy Jackson, specifically Solangelo, which is the ship name for Will Solace x Nico di Angelo.

@thatchronicfeeling @fibro-memes @void-galaxy-shenanigans Only if you want to!

[lost-spoons]

Anyone with POTS who has a port, how do you like it? Be truthful please and tell me what sucks about having it, what the maintenance is like etc.

I've been having issues with my veins for infusions. There's some kind of scar tissue build up so some spots on my arms no longer work for infusions. I had to be poked in 4 different spots this time. It was done by 2 different people just to be sure it wasn't the one nurse messing up, and it wasn't.

One of the people poking me half heartedly recommended a port if I plan on doing infusions for a long while, and idk what to do with that information (I already messaged the Dr. just waiting on a reply with their recommendation).