cece @lostinmythoughts44 - Tumblr Blog

like honestly every manager in this company always is discouraging to reach out again in a time of need and i’m tired of it. tired of one of my coworkers talking shit about everyone!!!! like her shit don’t stink. over it all. cannot do it

this job is killing me

titsay

a potion is brewing

sad that i have to have a mental breakdown for work to take me seriously

borderlinereminders

Is it possible to have a healthy relationship with a FP?

Absolutely, yes! This is a list of how I manage that. Keep in mind that everyone is different and if certain things don't work for you, that's completely valid.

Please see this post if you aren't sure what a FP is.

One of the first things is that even though it may be uncomfortable, diversify your relationships! Have different people that you have different similarities with. For example, maybe you really love a certain show, well making friends in the fandom might be a way to have someone to talk to about that interest.

Focus on your own hobbies. It's important to try and find a way to be happy on your own.

Practice your DBT skills. There are so many different skills useful for different situations. Here is a page I am working on of definitions of different skills. If one skill doesn't work for you, please don't give up on DBT skills. I've tried a lot of different skills, and a lot of them don't work for me but some work really well.

Focus on keeping the relationship mutual. By this I mean make sure that you’re respecting their boundaries, consent and meeting their needs too (as long this doesn’t infringe on your own. If your needs conflict, that’s a bit more complicated and may require compromise.)

Teach yourself not to rely solely on them. It's important to work on things where you don't feel abandoned when they can't give you their attention. (This is where DBT skills are likely to come in handy.)

Work on your self-soothing. If your brain spirals that they don't care, work on curbing impulses associated with that(hint check out my urge surfing post here). Don't send them messages like "clearly you don't care!" Here are some tips for self-soothing that I've written about in the past.

Communicate directly. Don't hint at things. This can be exhausting, and frustrating to the other person. I know we feel awkward asking for things, but trust me that from being on the other end of this as well, I feel so much better if someone asks me directly.

Make sure your expectations are realistic. If you find your expectations are not being met, rather than getting angry at your FP try and step back and see if your expectations are realistic. If you determine they are, try and proceed with communicating with your FP when you're feeling calm.

Be willing to apologize and admit when you're wrong. This goes without saying, but people mess up. People make mistakes. And you aren't bad if that happens. But it's important to be able to acknowledge that and apologize to the other person without excuses.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means, but I hope this helps!