... @borderlinebastard - Tumblr Blog

The Dialectical Behavioral Skills Workbook is free on Google Drive. Spread this like wildfire.

having a bout of mental illness will have me saying things like i am out of alignment

idk if I'm splitting or my social battery is too low but i feel like i can't be ALONE enough. the presence of others is crawling on my skin and I need to be away from everything and everyone forever.

#vent #everyone seems to have the opposite problem #i've met some people i don't vibe with and i need to never see them again and for them to be cool about it #bastard.txt

hel7l7

Leave me alone!!!

trainsandpaperplanes

anhedonia which comes and goes

s1ck-pup

molabuddy

i cant stand my bedroom mirror

scoutology

#crysobbing

clown-guitar

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

girlmostlikely

Does anyone know what I’m supposed to be doing for the rest of my life can someone tell me pleaseeeeeee don’t say whatever I want. #notsure

alleycatboy

hey. dont cry. i'm going to kill you, okay?

#thanks

ppl on my dash are posting about how much their lives have changed over the past year while mine hasn't at all. like I DID some stuff but it didn't change anything

#i think this was my first year without any therapy in idk 4-5 years so i haven't had any feedback in what's changed #living in uninteresting times is all i can manage rn #actuallymentallyill #vent #new year #bastard.txt

leighlew3

Shout out to anyone else who is also deeply depressed and completely faking giving two sh*ts about this Holiday season thinking it’ll spark joy or eventually hit you and you’ll actually feel the spirit — but you just don’t. Whether due to grief, heartbreak, loneliness, illness or otherwise. Or even all of the above! You’re not alone. Many of us are just going through the motions. 💜

man i just realized the way i try to understand myself and my mood/energy cycles is kinda similar to how an abuse victim learns the body language + patterns of an abuser. If i can just perfectly predict myself future self's behaviours i can premptively set things up to make him avoid getting upset with himself. Problem is future me is always more of a bastard than i can ever prepare for and never fails to derail my preparation

#bpd #Mental illness #actuallymentallyill #introspection #Self awareness #bastard.txt #Turns out compulsively analysing my behaviour is hypervigilance

twinsfawn

anyone else feel like there will always be a veil of separation between them and the rest of the world and that they’ll never actually be understood or is that just me

the fact i've never asked my friends for reassurance that i'm enjoyable to talk to despite wanting to basically every time we interact is either self destructive or a sign i have an insane amount of self control in this one specific area

#bpd #actuallybpd #bastard.txt #Or i imagine their response is too positive and therefore not honest bc theyre placating me #One friend (B) in particular i want to know where we stand #Whenever our shared friend (N) leaves and just us 2 our conversation is just small talk and limited like we've just met #I had to accept from the start that he prefers N over me but now i almost hate being alone with him. It's too awkward #I also dont like being alone with the other guy bc I'm not as responsive as B #We kinda have a weird dynamic huh...

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