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Oliver | 28 | Diagnosed with (quiet) Borderline Personality Disorder Nov 2018 | LGBTQA+ Friendly | Original posts are tagged with #bastard.txt | Graduated therapy March 2022 | Terfs/transmeds DNI

[vacillating-bpd-queen]

SKILLS WORKBOOK.pdf

The Dialectical Behavioral Skills Workbook is free on Google Drive. Spread this like wildfire.

[molabuddy]

i cant stand my bedroom mirror

[scoutology]

#crysobbing

[clown-guitar]

[no beers in] do you think im ever going to belong somewhere

[girlmostlikely]

Does anyone know what I’m supposed to be doing for the rest of my life can someone tell me pleaseeeeeee don’t say whatever I want. #notsure

[alleycatboy]

hey. dont cry. i'm going to kill you, okay?

[borderlinebastard]

ppl on my dash are posting about how much their lives have changed over the past year while mine hasn't at all. like I DID some stuff but it didn't change anything

[leighlew3]

Shout out to anyone else who is also deeply depressed and completely faking giving two sh*ts about this Holiday season thinking it’ll spark joy or eventually hit you and you’ll actually feel the spirit — but you just don’t. Whether due to grief, heartbreak, loneliness, illness or otherwise. Or even all of the above! You’re not alone. Many of us are just going through the motions. 💜

[borderlinebastard]

man i just realized the way i try to understand myself and my mood/energy cycles is kinda similar to how an abuse victim learns the body language + patterns of an abuser. If i can just perfectly predict myself future self's behaviours i can premptively set things up to make him avoid getting upset with himself. Problem is future me is always more of a bastard than i can ever prepare for and never fails to derail my preparation

[twinsfawn]

anyone else feel like there will always be a veil of separation between them and the rest of the world and that they’ll never actually be understood or is that just me

[borderlinebastard]

the fact i've never asked my friends for reassurance that i'm enjoyable to talk to despite wanting to basically every time we interact is either self destructive or a sign i have an insane amount of self control in this one specific area

[brdrlneprsnltydsrdr]

[freakoutgirl]

ngl it really sucks when every day of your life is centered around your shit mental health

[rustedr0t]

i feel like there's a big room inside me filled with a darkness that swallows everything. there is only darkness inside the room, i don't know if that's all there ever was or if there used to be something else but it disappeared into the dark. i don't know if it started out as a speck the size of a fraction of a sand particle and expanded over time, pushing out and overtaking space, or if it was always there and just was quiet before, meak and quiet. quiet and meak. but right now it is large and dark and unignorable. i can feel it gaping inside me, threatening to overtake more space if i don't keep it in check. it would just be taking it's course if i let it seep out of the room and rebuild its walls to take up more space. it can fill up my chest cavity with this cosmic numbness and it would be no more malicious in doing so than microorganisms breaking down a corpse. numbness, unfeeling, apathy, cold. not sharp, biting cold, just the absence of heat. the knowledge that something isn't there.

[feeling-likeastranger]

i wish i could explain how exhausting it is to exist when your brain never feels like home. like i’m always visiting, never living.

[avpdculture]

Avpd culture is having a different view on the world than most people. Either because of isolation or not being as affected by 'group think'. I think for myself, I hate conformism. Doesn't matter where it comes from, which side. I see faults and abuses everywhere and I don't hesitate to critique them even if only in my mind.

I feel like I'm living with my eyes wide open in a world that is cruel and grotesque. It makes me even more detached from most people and harder to connect with them. I'm not sure who I can trust, I've been disappointed so many times before.

~

[achillesinhighheels]