WHAT WILL THEY CALL YOU ? @lostpawns - Tumblr Blog

the first time i ever heard about you, i wanted you so badly. to find you, to speak with you, to be like you — they said your name with so much love. i was desperate for that. the love, the adventure, the mystery, the fun. but it wasn't fun. and now i wish to god that i had never heard your name at all.

independent, private, and selective ROOK of the DRAGON AGE series written by robyn. crossover & multi-muse friendly. 21+ ONLY.

carrd. threads. memes. tags.

#future pinned post don’t touch #can’t sleep so i decided ill let myself do blog revamping stuff but only on shabbos #yknow. to keep me sane. lmfao #and also so i don’t have to do it when my hiatus ends

khima is a weird freak and khima is deeply effected by the blood magic/brain damage and people are probably constantly blaming some weird freak thing they do on the wrong aspect of that scale

#i love them

prokopetz

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.

#this is what writing khima feels like #me about my own character who i made from scratch MINE OWN CHILD: idk what the fuck is going on

stonesense

Can you talk more about Harding just happening to be lucky that she joined a morally good group? Like the more I listen to Inquisition and Veilguard dialogue with her in them, I can’t help but think you’re onto something.

“Me? I’m no one. Lived near Redcliffe all my life. Herded sheep for my neighbor. When the Inquisition came through my village, I helped by telling them everything I knew about the area. Then I signed on. Wanted to see the world before it was swallowed up by… that thing out there.”

anyone can offer you a chance to see the world. adventure, beautiful foreign sights, respect for your skill, status when you go home, community and camaraderie among your fellow fighters. chances that you might never usually get as an ‘ordinary’ person, in this case living in a rural area as a (fantasy) minority. honestly for me the whole “get out there and see the world!” thing specifically evokes the real world evil of like, classic military recruitment rhetoric. it’s all a big adventure! never mind what you’ll be doing and who you’ll be doing it to.

and our first sight of harding is a confident smirk when she kills. (which we’re supposed to feel fine about and maybe think that she’s a #girlboss, because remember the mages and templars are Crazy, so killing them indiscriminately is fine. but let’s imagine dai is a serious game.) she obviously took very easily to violence in the inquisition’s name before she’d met any of the inquisition’s leaders, before the inquisition had a real direction, and before they had a simple-to-justify, no-longer-human enemy like corypheus. if she could be convinced to do all that by the inquisition’s scouts, then why not anyone else offering the same things? why not an inquisition that was actually, you know, an inquisition?

despite leading with wanting to see the world and not even mentioning any kind of moral motivation, harding definitely perceives herself as a good person and i don’t think she would go for anything that didn’t have a veneer of righteousness. she takes pride in the inquisition and what she believes to be its purpose. but any organisation can say they’re doing it for the good and order and stability of the world, right. any organisation can pass you that message through a recruiter who at least sounds like they believe it. and as a scout on the ground you’re so far from the war table that you will never really know why the people directing you are making their decisions. and you opt to kill whoever they tell you to kill anyway. even in some impossibly hypothetical world where those decisions are all just and measured and necessary, can it ever possibly be moral to just hand over your conscience like that? to kill blindly because those are your orders?

i feel like harding’s narrative veers so closely to real world recruitment rhetoric that i don’t just find it uninteresting to be like Yay It All Worked Out :), i find it Bad. this is not heroic when it happens in real life and i don’t think it should be heroic here. i know i’m in the genre where Pure And Honourable Warfare Of Our Innocent Boys And Girls Against Inhuman Monsters or Perhaps The Inherently Evil Foreign Horde of Baddies is virulently everywhere but i think that’s precisely why we should be aware and critical of it and thinking around it not just accepting it as fact you know

and harding would be a better character for this setting if we engaged with the blood on her hands. she is essentially a killer, it’s the first defining thing we see her do! she doesn’t have to be stuffed into a “cute wholesome moral compass we don’t have to take seriously” box just because the writers can’t even imagine a dwarf being taken seriously let alone a dwarf woman

#khima hits the road with the two dwarven centrist killers of all time and not only does that say a lot about what KHIMA is willing to #accept into their circle; it also says a lot that they - the most inexperienced #and most emotionally vulnerable and needy member of that trio - also have the primary moral compass. and to be clear khima’s moral compass #is ALSO pretty wobbly!#anyways it’s fascinating and when i’m bad proper i can’t wait to dig into the khima-varric-harding dynamic more

i think the way khima feels about being nonbinary — particularly when they’re young — is that it’s the only way for them to identify without being a liar or feeling deformed, but it’s not necessarily how they want to identify

#khima vc: i have no gender trauma bc i don’t think about gender bc i don’t have that thing ❤️#me vc: khima you’re repressed. 300 years on the other side of the world after living through the crucible will fix you though

black city khima is truly a study in "just traumatize your father back"

#i wanna make it clear that while they are both being tormented by the city and evanuris fragments and blight #and solas is of course spending a lot of time terrorizing khima.... khima is ALSO terrorizing solas #this is specific to karen's solas (ilu karen mwah mwah come home soon etc) but a very specific example is that when khima begins to suspect #that solas has enhanced trauma specifically related to andruil they weaponize that first for safety (sheltering in her old temple) but also #by using him as BAIT for the andruil fragment; they will do this even if they suspect the sexual assault angle of solas' trauma. and not #only do they not feel BAD about doing this... they actively feel GOOD about it. they feel clever. they feel like it's fair for solas to hav #been unconsulted and used and afraid. the black city is their eye for an eye era

quaintpanic

I WAS BORN YESTERDAY. I JUST BLEW IN FROM STUPID TOWN. THIS IS MY FIRST RODEO. PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME.

#khima @ solas with tears in their eyes

khima’s formal documentation (largely for chantry use, though occasionally marked in mourn watch documents as well) lists them as male rather than nonbinary. this is a choice that was made by physicians rather than a reflection of their physicality or personal identity. no one asked khima how they felt about it. their opinion about their body was irrelevant.

#the choice was largely made because while nevarra is presented to us with other northern nations it is in fact a member of the southern #chantry; one of the CORE nations of southern orthodoxy at that as the birthplace of the nevarran accords #women have more room for advancement and political power in the southern chantry than men and prior to the mourn watch picking khima up #it had been assumed that they would be funneled directly from the circle-led orphanage into the ranks of the chantry

happy june, reminder that intersex people exist as more than a clever gotcha to your maga uncle at holidays or the fetish you joke about but won’t admit to actually searching up

#and khima is one of them! and their history as an intersex person in a society with regulated gender roles has meant that their nonbinary #gender identity is actually more complex than ‘nonbinary’; this is not a term that they are entirely comfortable with because in there mind #there is always a series of footnotes at the bottom of the page

i miss my baby, like this post for something small from khima

#i don’t quite wanna write but i do wanna write yknow?

lakevida

does getting cursed by a witch show up in drug tests

#khima being blood magic'd by solas like

steveyockey

affirmations they will not kill me at work today. it is not in my job description to get killed. if they did kill me at work that would be weird and probably not worth it for them

#khima brushing their teeth in the morning and mumbling this #felassan: uh

everythingfox

Bilingual

sayhelloanimalfriends

no music 🐔

#AND WHEN I SAY that khima can mimic others with an uncanny valley quality that makes people want to leave the room

catasters

warl0ck-arts

Perfection.

audhdspacewizard

"I wish I had something that could store energy and also absorb vibrations."

The faithful and compressable spring:

#can’t articulate why but i can see felassan doing this to khima so clearly in my mind

so-much-for-subtlety

#khima #‘i’m just keeping it together until varric is back on his feet’

khima says “i’ll pray for you” and means it

#unfortunately they are not a theologian like ameridan so they can’t offer more than cliche spiritual advice #but every morning and most nights they DO say their prayers for a very long time #even if sometimes it’s like #dear maker [takes a deep breath] whywhywhywbyshywhywhywhywhywhy

yfel-axel

when you look at that boy it feels like something inhuman looks right back at you...

I adore the idea of the parasite, to a degree, being a sentient being. It knows what it wants and it waits until it can finally weave its roots around it. This is about 'jealousy', but not that of Qifrey, but of the third 'person' in this relationship.

#the khima experience. i shan’t elaborate #rip to solas on my drafts

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WHAT WILL THEY CALL YOU ?