Indulge in a little Avarice

[Side Blog- Cannot Follow Back but happy to interact!]

[lostxinxavarice]

Lock sighed softly, head tilting as he set down another mug and picked up the one beside it. The sigh wasn't angry or exasperated.. Okay so it wasn't only exasperated. There was worry there too, and gentle care. Because while it wasn't the same as his one-winged friend, not nearly that powerful, he did know emotions like they were the back of his well manicured hand. And he'd been looking after this little one from the moment Inhyeong had brought him in, pale as a ghost, almost two years ago.

Toned, silver strands lilted to the side along with his head as he looked the younger over.

"What is it, Hun?" He hummed softly, placing down another mug, changing cloths, and picking up a martini glass. Silvery-purple eyes scanned over the other. "I know at least part of that look, and I've dried about seven mugs in the time it took you to pick that one up...How many days has it been?"

[asavagesong]

Tian knew better than to lie to anyone in this place, least of all Lock. Ever since he'd seemed to take it upon himself to watch out for Tian, the little halfling had quickly learned it was wasted breath to say he was fine when he wasn't. Even more so to try and tell him it had only been a day or two since he'd fed, rather than several more than that.

He sighed, looking down at the cup in his hand as he finally set it down alongside the rest, picking up another if only for an excuse not to have to make eye contact while he very much pretended to have to think about it.

He knew how long it had been. He was blissfully, painfully, fang-achingly aware that he was pushing it this time. He knew he could go two days comfortably and be okay. Sometimes three before he started to get spaced out and find it hard to focus. Day four was pretty much asking for him to lose control, and wasn't that what he feared most? Wasn't that why he'd sought out help in the first place?

"Four," He answered eventually, lowering the cloth and mug before looking up at Lock properly now, "I wanted to see-... It's just one extra day. I don't know why I can't do once a week like some can. Sometimes it feels like I'd have to feed every night just to stop feeling like my stomach was going to eat itself, and I... There aren't that many people willing, so... Four. It's been four." And that was probably the most he'd said in a while, too. He inhaled again, setting the cup down again, running that hand over his eye a little, "I'm okay. I'll pick up a shift."

[lostxinxavarice]

"Tian, Honey, Sweetheart..." The pet names fell from glitter-glossed lips in a sigh, leather pants creaking a little as he sat. This look was just concern, all soft eyes and pinched brows.

"I know its.. I can feel fine for a bit. But we both know you have a pretty high tolerance for 'fine but I feel like I'm gonna fall over, wither, or lose control'." He sighed gently, setting down the martini glass and picking up a coup glass instead, all while keeping those eyes.

"You know you're safe here. You know that Inhyeong, P'Sai, and me are all always happy to give you what you need. I've heard that some vampires can build up their bodies to not needing blood as often. But that comes only after they regularly give their body what it needs. If your nervous system is always in fight or flight, it's never gonna settle enough to feel safe to go an extra few days between meals. Trust me, I know"

The Incubus sighed softly, pausing his polishing to look at the other. "And I know that you know that I know. I haven't always loved what I am. I've tried before, starving myself between 'feeding'. And I know that you know that doing that nearly got me killed." His head shook gently, "You don't deserve that tension. And you don't need it either. Being what I am, I could literally get sliced open and bled out and be fine for Months because my body doesn't need blood like that. P'Sai as well. Why do you keep torturing yourself, Love?"

[asavagesong]

@lostxinxavarice

The Crow's Nest wasn't too busy that morning, but it still bustled with the same life that Tian had grown to love it for. It's cosy, gentle life with people more concerned with taking a moment for themselves or their friends or family than anything else. It was comfortable. It was safe. And Tian had grown rather fond of it's repetitive, predictable nature.

But there were bad days too. They all had them sometimes. For Tian, they often came when he let his hunger stretch just a little too long, or when he did not rest nearly as much as he should. They came around anniversaries, or when he saw someone who looked like him.

That morning had been one of the latter. It had been barely a resemblance, truly, it was nothing but the eye colour, the hair, and day four without feeding all mixed into a perfect storm. He'd jumped, initially. Recoiled, nearly ran for the hills, but he'd caught up with himself, realised it was not him. It couldn't be him. Not after this long. He'd apologised, laughed a quiet laugh and said he'd been off with the fairies, and had taken an order, but it had set him on the wrong foot for the rest of the day.

The mug in his hand had been dry a few minutes ago yet still his hands went through the motions of drying with the cloth. They were in a lull, most customers already served and seated, which gave Tian far too much scope to disappear a little too close to that torn edge that sat unkempt in his mind, oblivious to the world around him. At least until someone was directly in front of him, and he was yanked right back from that cliffs edge and eyes flicked up to see whoever had just been speaking at him, startling slightly, but quickly recovering.

"Hm?"

[lostxinxavarice]

Lock sighed softly, head tilting as he set down another mug and picked up the one beside it. The sigh wasn't angry or exasperated.. Okay so it wasn't only exasperated. There was worry there too, and gentle care. Because while it wasn't the same as his one-winged friend, not nearly that powerful, he did know emotions like they were the back of his well manicured hand. And he'd been looking after this little one from the moment Inhyeong had brought him in, pale as a ghost, almost two years ago.

Toned, silver strands lilted to the side along with his head as he looked the younger over.

"What is it, Hun?" He hummed softly, placing down another mug, changing cloths, and picking up a martini glass. Silvery-purple eyes scanned over the other. "I know at least part of that look, and I've dried about seven mugs in the time it took you to pick that one up...How many days has it been?"

[lostxinxavarice]

"Oh Aster..." The words cooed and almost shivered from his lips as the salty scent of tears hit him before he could see the tracks leading them down the other's cheek. His heart ached, brows knit, and so, so much weight and worry lifted from his soul. All at once. Because he could tell. He could see it because he'd felt it. Tatsu wouldn't have been upset if the other had insisted he was fine, asked him to wait here. Without needing to think, Tako would've just kept being there. Kept trying until something gave and the younger allowed himself more than just the heavy, fragile mask survival forced onto so many people.

But this was so much more than he could've asked. So his heart ached, brows knit, but his heart soared in the same little nod. Without a moment longer to wait, he stepped closer. Both hands went out and gently cupped those dampening cheeks. And first? Foreheads pressed as he so gently, unwaveringly brought their gazes to lock. He didn't have.. words for the gesture or the moment.. Just this. Just locked eyes. Eyes that saw and felt and knew.

And then he pulled Aster closer, pressing Aster's head to rest against the crook of his covered neck. Fingers raked up into hair, another hand wrapping around a slender torso as he held the other.. oh so close, eyes shut.

"Thank you..." It fell in a whisper before he could really think on or explain it. But maybe he wouldn't need to just yet. Right now, he got the feeling that all that was really needed was for him to just.. be here. And he was. So he held Aster tight and close. He didn't even pull back and move them to the washroom yet. Just now. Just this. They'd figure out the rest later.

[hellslittleprince]

Maybe it was because he'd been alone for so long. Maybe it was because he'd reached a breaking point he hadn't told anyone about, not even Yongsun when he'd visited. Where he'd realised that, had that demon swung more than just fists at him that day, he wasn't sure he would've fought back. It would be the ultimate final fuck you for Aster to fall to a random demon, to someone with too much cockiness and not enough sense. For Lucifer to know he'd failed so miserably in his task that his grand experiment had allowed an underling to finally fell him.

It was a good job, truly, that Yongsun had come when he had. Aster just... hadn't quite realised that yet. He'd simply been going through motions since Wolf had left. His last little light to cling onto, his last little hope in the world has just... disappeared, and with it, so had Aster in a way.

So was it truly any surprise that he didn't have it left in him to fight now? To put up his walls and reinforce them against this stranger who was offering something like this? Who had him in such a vulnerable state, that might only get more vulnerable as the seconds passed?

It was strange, how Aster might've flirted his way into the shower with the tall, very attractive man if he'd been more himself, but then again... did he even have a self to be more like? All he could do right now was let himself fall into a complete stranger.

A complete stranger who had baked him food, who had brought him clothes, who had offered to help him clean up and get dressed and was now holding him so tenderly, like he might break at any moment and god, Aster wasn't entirely sure he wasn't about to turn into a pile of rubble in front of him.

The tears kept coming, though he did his best to keep actual sobs or hiccups to a minimum, fighting with himself to try and keep it in, even now. He might realise later that in a way, that was a good sign. That he had any fight left in him at all - but in that moment, all he could feel was an odd blend of shame and relief, all in a messy, swirled cocktail of mess. But fingers curled into the other's shirt before he could help it, face pressed against an unfamiliar neck that had offered him more comfort than anyone had in... likely ever.

[lostxinxavarice]

If his... relatively disastrous introduction had been any clue, Tako hadn't... planned anything for this. He was a planner sometimes, for some things. But this had been... He'd just.. He'd heard there was somebody new here and he just knew that he had to at least let them know he was hear for them. No agendas. Not even any real plans afterwords.

And now, as he heard and felt Aster surrender... god knows how many years of tears into the quiet safety of the moment, that same thing rang true. Sure, there were things to get to, washing up, clothes, snacks, food, a little tour. But none of that mattered. His only plan was Aster, and making sure he was cared for. Not just now, not just after he got washed up.

Fabric scratched and scrunched softly as he felt Aster clutch desperately back, and Tako slowly let them sink to the floor. It was hard sobbing and standing at the same time. He knew that one well too. So they sat. Tako's legs partially crossed, the slender frame leaned against his neck, sat in his lap. And they just... Remained. Tako sat, fingers carding slowly through short, tangled strands, feeling the knit of his turtleneck grow damp without a care in the word.

And he just sat. As long as it would take. As long as Aster needed, eyes slipping closed as he held the other close.

[lostxinxavarice]

Perfect. Oh that was a word. Certainly a good word. A word that made sense to describe anything he did? Far from it. But hearing it nonetheless had eyes wide and ruby lips wide, the taller male absolutely beaming as Aster spoke. It wasn't just the word either. It was everything. And everything that followed. It was Aster eating his food, liking it, the way those eyes that looked so... heavy sometimes lifted easier now than before to look at him.

And it was the acceptance to look around with him, to take care of himself and wash up. There weren't... Words really, or reasons that all those things felt so huge.. But Tatsu could tell that they were. He felt the weight on effort it took and god it just made him smile more, eyes swirling shades of yellows and golden hues. Ears that'd perked shy high flopped a little with the velocity with which he shook his head.

"I-I'm happy to wait! Please, t-..take your time! A-and about the showerhead-" He looked towards the other's washroom with a nod. "You have to turn both dials a little to get the water going and then pull the plunger looking thing on the faucet up if you want a shower or leave it down if you want it to fill the tub! Theres soap, a sponge and hair things in the shower already for you, and towels and a robe in the cabinet! Thats also where a toothbrush and some toothpaste is"

He paused, head tilting, eyes up and elsewhere as he worked and muttered through the mental checklist of things that would be good to know." Uhm..." He nodded a little, looking back to Aster, "If you just shower, the water'll obviously drain as normal. If you take a bath then when the water's off, you just have to pull the plunger thingy up and it'll drain the tub pretty quick, I...." One more head tilt, lips pushing out in thought before he gave one more nod.

"That's everything I can think of! But yeah, please take your time! I don't mind waiting!"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster was more grateful than he would admit for being told how to use the shower - chances were he would've gone in there and failed at it, and then likely soaked the floor and himself in the process and not in the way he intended. He still had every potential of doing that, but at least he had a bit more information to go off of.

He nodded, a little bewildered at so many steps, but he supposed it made sense. He finished the tart, standing up as he ran it all through in his head once more. Turn both dials a little, then the faucet... Wait, no, the plunger? Right, the plunger.

"Thank you," he murmured, reaching for the bag of clothes that Tako has brought in. It wasn't like he had any other choice, he just hoped they fit. He would make them fit. It was too kind of a gesture to even think about ruining and-

Here he was, spiralling again. He took a breath, reaching a hand up to run through hair that was still a little out of place before he turned a little awkwardly towards the bathroom. It was just a shower. He was just getting ready, so why did his limbs feel so heavy?

It was the kind of time he would've paid someone to help, to wash his hair, to help clear years and years worth of self loathing and heaviness from his entire body, but he couldn't ask anyone to do that. He barely knew them. He didn't even know what it would be like to have someone do that anyway and... he was being ridiculous. He'd lasted this long on his own.

"You... You can wait in here, if you want. I won't be long," he offered, finally making legs move towards the bathroom at the back. It was just a shower. It would be quick, and simple, and he was sure it would be fine.

[lostxinxavarice]

Tatsu was, on a good day, a truly sorry excuse for his species. He wasn't much of a fighter, couldn't protect even himself, wasn't cool or hot or intimidating like Sunil-hyung... But he could at least hear. Indeed his hearing, due to breed or trauma--to this day he still didn't quite know- was one of the best. And not only did he know what it sounded like when a heart tensed up and the rest of your bones along with it-- He know what it looked like, too. What it felt like. It was a slower panic, kind of like quicksand. It'd swallow you up bit by bit, not all at once. It was a weird kind of defense mechanism.. So maybe that was why his brows twitched a little together, as he watched the stiff way those joints moved as Aster stood. Swirling ambers took in the almost reluctant way those hands- lightly bruised?- let go of the table.

It was impossible to keep from thinking of a time when his own joints moved like that, behand a smile that nodded and spoke pleasantries seconds before a breakdown. And before Tatsu could talk himself out of it, the taller male stood, slowly.

"Uh..." Full lips parted and then pursed. God how to even.. "A-aster-san?" His voice peeped out gently as brows pinched. He made he way those few steps over to the other, head tilted, ears quirked.

"I-I... I swear I don't... mean this in a weird way I just.." Eyes flicked to the washroom, and then upstairs, picturing himself, curled up in his Form, in that far, far corner the moment Inhyeonggie had left him.

"I-I know I said it.. That.. Y'know.. I'm here if you need anything, right? But I also..." He signed out, looking back to the other, taking a half step closer. "I also know what its like.. knowing help would.. maybe be nice but not feeling okay or... or safe enough or even... right in your skin enough to make your mouth say the words and actually ask so.. S-so just know that I'm not.. I swear I'm not trying to be weird a-and I can sit here or leave or.. whatever if you don't need anything but just..."

Pushing past panic was hard. But he'd been practicing, and had to make good on the practice now as he looked, really looked into those eyes, low voice gentle enough that it'd not even ruffle a feather. "Do you... want some help getting washed up or... or getting ready, Aster-san?"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster... had tried. He'd well and truly tried. His whole life, he'd tried to be enough. He'd tried to be worthy of positive attention. He tried to do what he was told, because what child would really, truly keep not doing something on purpose when not doing that something meant a lot of pain and suffering?

He'd tried to make friends, to prove he wasn't scary, or dangerous, or as weird as his blood seemed to suggest. He tried to win them over with smiles and hands held out in hopes someone would take it.

He'd tried, even after Lucifer killed friends he made, to keep his head up, to seem unaffected. He tried to turn into the unfeeling, ruthless killer the King wanted. He tried not to bite back, to accept that this was the hand that fed him, that he just needed to be better, to prove he was better, and it would all be okay.

He'd tried, when he realised nothing would ever be good enough, to not want approval. To not want someone to tell him he was doing well. He tried not to crave a soft hand, a warm touch, a person to tell him that it didn't matter if he didn't succeed every time, what mattered was that he tried, and that he kept trying no matter what.

He'd tried here, not to appear the weak, broken thing that Hell had turned him into. He'd tried to walk in, to do as he'd promised Yongsun and accept help, but he tried to do it with the least trouble possible.

He tried, and as Tatsuya stood in front of him, offering him everything he'd been just thinking as though it had been written all over his face, he failed. He failed so badly that exhausted tears welled in his eyes, and he nearly sagged with the relief of someone noticing. By some miracle, he kept on his feet. By even more of a miracle, he managed a nod. Just the slightest, tiniest of movements.

He couldn't give anything more. He couldn't say a verbal yes, because speaking was more difficult in that moment than it had ever been in his entire life. Admitting out loud that he was cracking down the middle and he wasn't sure there'd be enough pieces left when he finally broken was unthinkable. And so it was a nod, and stupid, weak little tears on his cheeks that he tried to hide by looking down.

[lostxinxavarice]

"Oh Aster..." The words cooed and almost shivered from his lips as the salty scent of tears hit him before he could see the tracks leading them down the other's cheek. His heart ached, brows knit, and so, so much weight and worry lifted from his soul. All at once. Because he could tell. He could see it because he'd felt it. Tatsu wouldn't have been upset if the other had insisted he was fine, asked him to wait here. Without needing to think, Tako would've just kept being there. Kept trying until something gave and the younger allowed himself more than just the heavy, fragile mask survival forced onto so many people.

But this was so much more than he could've asked. So his heart ached, brows knit, but his heart soared in the same little nod. Without a moment longer to wait, he stepped closer. Both hands went out and gently cupped those dampening cheeks. And first? Foreheads pressed as he so gently, unwaveringly brought their gazes to lock. He didn't have.. words for the gesture or the moment.. Just this. Just locked eyes. Eyes that saw and felt and knew.

And then he pulled Aster closer, pressing Aster's head to rest against the crook of his covered neck. Fingers raked up into hair, another hand wrapping around a slender torso as he held the other.. oh so close, eyes shut.

"Thank you..." It fell in a whisper before he could really think on or explain it. But maybe he wouldn't need to just yet. Right now, he got the feeling that all that was really needed was for him to just.. be here. And he was. So he held Aster tight and close. He didn't even pull back and move them to the washroom yet. Just now. Just this. They'd figure out the rest later.

[lostxinxavarice]

Perfect. Oh that was a word. Certainly a good word. A word that made sense to describe anything he did? Far from it. But hearing it nonetheless had eyes wide and ruby lips wide, the taller male absolutely beaming as Aster spoke. It wasn't just the word either. It was everything. And everything that followed. It was Aster eating his food, liking it, the way those eyes that looked so... heavy sometimes lifted easier now than before to look at him.

And it was the acceptance to look around with him, to take care of himself and wash up. There weren't... Words really, or reasons that all those things felt so huge.. But Tatsu could tell that they were. He felt the weight on effort it took and god it just made him smile more, eyes swirling shades of yellows and golden hues. Ears that'd perked shy high flopped a little with the velocity with which he shook his head.

"I-I'm happy to wait! Please, t-..take your time! A-and about the showerhead-" He looked towards the other's washroom with a nod. "You have to turn both dials a little to get the water going and then pull the plunger looking thing on the faucet up if you want a shower or leave it down if you want it to fill the tub! Theres soap, a sponge and hair things in the shower already for you, and towels and a robe in the cabinet! Thats also where a toothbrush and some toothpaste is"

He paused, head tilting, eyes up and elsewhere as he worked and muttered through the mental checklist of things that would be good to know." Uhm..." He nodded a little, looking back to Aster, "If you just shower, the water'll obviously drain as normal. If you take a bath then when the water's off, you just have to pull the plunger thingy up and it'll drain the tub pretty quick, I...." One more head tilt, lips pushing out in thought before he gave one more nod.

"That's everything I can think of! But yeah, please take your time! I don't mind waiting!"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster was more grateful than he would admit for being told how to use the shower - chances were he would've gone in there and failed at it, and then likely soaked the floor and himself in the process and not in the way he intended. He still had every potential of doing that, but at least he had a bit more information to go off of.

He nodded, a little bewildered at so many steps, but he supposed it made sense. He finished the tart, standing up as he ran it all through in his head once more. Turn both dials a little, then the faucet... Wait, no, the plunger? Right, the plunger.

"Thank you," he murmured, reaching for the bag of clothes that Tako has brought in. It wasn't like he had any other choice, he just hoped they fit. He would make them fit. It was too kind of a gesture to even think about ruining and-

Here he was, spiralling again. He took a breath, reaching a hand up to run through hair that was still a little out of place before he turned a little awkwardly towards the bathroom. It was just a shower. He was just getting ready, so why did his limbs feel so heavy?

It was the kind of time he would've paid someone to help, to wash his hair, to help clear years and years worth of self loathing and heaviness from his entire body, but he couldn't ask anyone to do that. He barely knew them. He didn't even know what it would be like to have someone do that anyway and... he was being ridiculous. He'd lasted this long on his own.

"You... You can wait in here, if you want. I won't be long," he offered, finally making legs move towards the bathroom at the back. It was just a shower. It would be quick, and simple, and he was sure it would be fine.

[lostxinxavarice]

Tatsu was, on a good day, a truly sorry excuse for his species. He wasn't much of a fighter, couldn't protect even himself, wasn't cool or hot or intimidating like Sunil-hyung... But he could at least hear. Indeed his hearing, due to breed or trauma--to this day he still didn't quite know- was one of the best. And not only did he know what it sounded like when a heart tensed up and the rest of your bones along with it-- He know what it looked like, too. What it felt like. It was a slower panic, kind of like quicksand. It'd swallow you up bit by bit, not all at once. It was a weird kind of defense mechanism.. So maybe that was why his brows twitched a little together, as he watched the stiff way those joints moved as Aster stood. Swirling ambers took in the almost reluctant way those hands- lightly bruised?- let go of the table.

It was impossible to keep from thinking of a time when his own joints moved like that, behand a smile that nodded and spoke pleasantries seconds before a breakdown. And before Tatsu could talk himself out of it, the taller male stood, slowly.

"Uh..." Full lips parted and then pursed. God how to even.. "A-aster-san?" His voice peeped out gently as brows pinched. He made he way those few steps over to the other, head tilted, ears quirked.

"I-I... I swear I don't... mean this in a weird way I just.." Eyes flicked to the washroom, and then upstairs, picturing himself, curled up in his Form, in that far, far corner the moment Inhyeonggie had left him.

"I-I know I said it.. That.. Y'know.. I'm here if you need anything, right? But I also..." He signed out, looking back to the other, taking a half step closer. "I also know what its like.. knowing help would.. maybe be nice but not feeling okay or... or safe enough or even... right in your skin enough to make your mouth say the words and actually ask so.. S-so just know that I'm not.. I swear I'm not trying to be weird a-and I can sit here or leave or.. whatever if you don't need anything but just..."

Pushing past panic was hard. But he'd been practicing, and had to make good on the practice now as he looked, really looked into those eyes, low voice gentle enough that it'd not even ruffle a feather. "Do you... want some help getting washed up or... or getting ready, Aster-san?"

[lostxinxavarice]

It was amazing the work that one word had. Because truly, even though Aster maybe didn't know it, but the moment was a little make or break for the pup before him. But one single word, and one timid reach and a nibble had Tatsuya's ears perked in time with the straightening of his back and a small glitter in his eyes.

"O-okay?" There was a small swishing sound, his tail having poofed into view again, wagging gently between the slats of the chair's backrest. His hands gave Aster's a little, hopeful, excited squeeze. It wasn't 100 percent. Aster's motions, his eyes, even, were filled with tension still uncertainty and a whole bunch of other things. Tako's stuttered little pep-talk hadn't magically cured the other.. And maybe that's why it meant so much. Because Aster was trying. With every little smile, every nibble, Tako saw him trying to push against whatever walls had been shoved into his mind. And god that meant the world to him.

"O-okay!" The swishing sounds of his tail grew faster as he scooted closer, honey-coloured eyes glittering like sunshine on a late. "H-how is it?" He beamed, happy to let the subject shift, as he motioned towards the mini fruit tart in the other's hand. "I.. I made the crust this morning so I hope it all got crispy enough in the oven without getting too crispy?" His head tilted, ears quirked in opposite directions.

"If that... Makes any sense, but anyways!" He beamed back to Aster, still contently holding his hand. "Did you want something else to eat? A-a little more hardy I mean. I'm-- I cook.. a lot, and I even help out the cooks sometimes at Ava and Crows, so I know my way around the kitchen down there and was gonna make myself some breakfast. Did you wanna come with? I can... I can maybe show you around and we can figure out what to make for breakfast together!"

[hellslittleprince]

Okay was all that Aster could manage right now. This little thing, this tiny word and little movement of taking a cake was all he had in him if he was honest. The fear he'd held his entire life was a heavy weight on his shoulders and he knew it would not be an easy thing to shake - but he could do this. He could give... just a little bit for people that had given him no reason to do anything else.

Of the three people he'd really met so far, each of them had offered him a smile, a friendly face, and now Tatsuya was here with treats he'd spent the time baking for him and seemed so proud of.

"It's perfect," He answered, giving him a hint of a smile too. It really was - Aster had never had much access to sweet treats, especially not home baked ones. It's not like he'd never had any, but this was definitely up there with the best. It was on par with the brown sugar crusted choux bun he'd saved up loose change he'd found on streets for for months. It had been worth it, but it had taken quite a while.

At the offer to be shown around, he looked up at him properly, swallowing the mouthful he had. He supposed he needed to know this place in order to know how to run if anything did happen, or how to better try and protect it. Learn it's shadows, it's weaknesses. It's strengths too, and maybe more of the people that would be around, so he could work out who to trust and who not to.

"I just need to get dressed, maybe wash a bit... If you're happy to wait... Or I can meet you somewhere. I think I remember my way back down." Because as much as he didn't want the other to have to wait around for him, he did feel grimey after standing in the rain, and he did need to put actual clothes on rather than the trousers he'd been wearing the night before in the rain. "Unless you're in a rush-..."

[lostxinxavarice]

Perfect. Oh that was a word. Certainly a good word. A word that made sense to describe anything he did? Far from it. But hearing it nonetheless had eyes wide and ruby lips wide, the taller male absolutely beaming as Aster spoke. It wasn't just the word either. It was everything. And everything that followed. It was Aster eating his food, liking it, the way those eyes that looked so... heavy sometimes lifted easier now than before to look at him.

And it was the acceptance to look around with him, to take care of himself and wash up. There weren't... Words really, or reasons that all those things felt so huge.. But Tatsu could tell that they were. He felt the weight on effort it took and god it just made him smile more, eyes swirling shades of yellows and golden hues. Ears that'd perked shy high flopped a little with the velocity with which he shook his head.

"I-I'm happy to wait! Please, t-..take your time! A-and about the showerhead-" He looked towards the other's washroom with a nod. "You have to turn both dials a little to get the water going and then pull the plunger looking thing on the faucet up if you want a shower or leave it down if you want it to fill the tub! Theres soap, a sponge and hair things in the shower already for you, and towels and a robe in the cabinet! Thats also where a toothbrush and some toothpaste is"

He paused, head tilting, eyes up and elsewhere as he worked and muttered through the mental checklist of things that would be good to know." Uhm..." He nodded a little, looking back to Aster, "If you just shower, the water'll obviously drain as normal. If you take a bath then when the water's off, you just have to pull the plunger thingy up and it'll drain the tub pretty quick, I...." One more head tilt, lips pushing out in thought before he gave one more nod.

"That's everything I can think of! But yeah, please take your time! I don't mind waiting!"

[lostxinxavarice]

Silence hung over them after that offer, hopeful and tense and god so quiet. Ears lifted to take in any noise, any... hint. Anything. He wasn't impressive like any of the other's here, couldn't hear the things they did. All he could do was train to pick up the others... slowly increasing heartrate. Was Aster about to ask him to leave? Was he gearing up the courage to pull away and send Tatsuya to, in Xin's words, 'pack it up and hit the road'? The anticipation alone, much like his hovering hand, lingered, and even had his ears slowly pressing back. Only for a tiny motion to cause them to stand up straight again as eyes went wide.

A nod. A small, scared, incredible little action. But it hadn't just been a nod... God it'd been so, so much more. And oh god how the words meant so much, and hurt so, so much. Tatsuya listened first before he moved a muscle. He listened close as ears pressed unknowingly flat and brows pinched. Tatsu was... never a fighter.. But god how he'd love to take a chunk of whatever thing had hurt a soft soul like this so completely.

But he listened. To any and everything that soft voice, near to breaking would give him. And then, after everything, then Tatsuya gently rested his hand on Aster's. He let a second or two linger before he took a small liberty, and held that hand in his own with a gentle but unapologetic grip. Lips parted..

Butt god.. Where to start?

"...You...you're not bad.. Aster." He swallowed softly with another shake of his head, the motion untucking the hair from the other hair, semi long strands framing his face as he looked from linked hands to the other.

"What...Whatever he did.. to make you honestly feel that way... Those are... Those are things he did. The people he... must've hurt to hurt you.. Those were his actions, Aster. Not yours. I think.. Maybe you are different, were born different... But its... Its the stuff he did that made that feel bad." He thought to give that hand a squeeze.. But that felt too.. too brief. So instead, he doubled down, holding Aster's one hand in both of his own.

"You being here isn't...." Brows knit, eyes at their hands in thought for only as long as it took for the words to come to his brain with a shake of his head. "Its not bad either, Aster. There are plenty of rooms here. You're not.. taking this from anyone. We.. Everybody here came from.. a darker place. Some, like Inhyeonggie-hyung are..." Lips pursed momentarily over the word, ".... Lucky enough to know the place or people he came from are gone. But that's not the case for everyone here. I'm not saying this to say like... 'oh everybody struggles suck it up' or anything dumb like that. I'm just saying..." Brows knit a little and he did give their hands a gentle squeeze and made sure their eyes were locked.

"I'm saying it because we know... We're all here to live in a safer place. Safer from where we came from.. But also.. We live here knowing that people here may need to be defended, protected. And we stay here knowing that, willing and happy to do whatever when that time comes. Its not.. wasted on you. Because that... that thing that hurt you is wrong Aster. You deserve to be happy, to breathe and smile and laugh and love and.." One more squeeze, for teary-eyed good measure.

"And we're all willing to fight for that. That's not gonna change, okay?"

[hellslittleprince]

While Tatsuya may speak a lot, while his words might keep flowing and flowing, Aster found that he... didn't mind that. It was actually quite nice, in a way, to have someone trying to comfort him in such a way. Someone was putting in that level of effort to tell him that he wasn't a waste of oxygen, even if he didn't believe it much himself. That particular issue was going to take far more time than getting over his fear would, he knew that much. That was a deeply ingrained wound that he was sure had been there since birth.

His eyes flicked to their hands, to the way his was enveloped so carefully but comfortingly between the other's. It was secure, safe in a way despite it only being his hand.

But more than that, it was the fact that, after he had just seen Aster covered in what he imagined was unfamiliar black stuff, he was still holding his hand. Still... willing to touch him, to stay close.

Maybe that spoke to how good of a person Tatsuya was more than the truth in the words or how trustworthy Aster could possibly be.

But for every word that the other spoke, Aster was left with... basically none. What was there to say? He couldn't argue with it, that would be rude - he couldn't tell him he was wrong, that no one would want to fight for him, because he didn't know anyone here. He couldn't confirm nor deny it, and only had the other's words to go off. His, and Ember's.

His eyes flicked to the ears, pressed flat and making his heart ache knowing he was likely causing that... And he found he didn't want to anymore. He'd spent decades stuffing everything down, down, down that it would not be a hard task to do it all over again for his sake.

And so rather than speak, at first, he... reached for something off of that board of carefully prepared treats. It wasn't an answer but... in a way, it was. He was not ready to tell anyone it was Lucifer looking for him yet - at least not unnecessarily - but this. This he could do. He could make himself, for at least a moment, at least trust that one person wasnt out to kill him, even if full trust would take time. And so he took a bite, giving him a little half smile and a small "okay..."

Maybe he was rude for not responding after that, but he didn't move his hand away either. He simply chewed, giving a soft hum in appreciation for how good it tasted. His stomach gave a little rumble too, it seemed, happy to at least be getting something to eat.

[lostxinxavarice]

It was amazing the work that one word had. Because truly, even though Aster maybe didn't know it, but the moment was a little make or break for the pup before him. But one single word, and one timid reach and a nibble had Tatsuya's ears perked in time with the straightening of his back and a small glitter in his eyes.

"O-okay?" There was a small swishing sound, his tail having poofed into view again, wagging gently between the slats of the chair's backrest. His hands gave Aster's a little, hopeful, excited squeeze. It wasn't 100 percent. Aster's motions, his eyes, even, were filled with tension still uncertainty and a whole bunch of other things. Tako's stuttered little pep-talk hadn't magically cured the other.. And maybe that's why it meant so much. Because Aster was trying. With every little smile, every nibble, Tako saw him trying to push against whatever walls had been shoved into his mind. And god that meant the world to him.

"O-okay!" The swishing sounds of his tail grew faster as he scooted closer, honey-coloured eyes glittering like sunshine on a late. "H-how is it?" He beamed, happy to let the subject shift, as he motioned towards the mini fruit tart in the other's hand. "I.. I made the crust this morning so I hope it all got crispy enough in the oven without getting too crispy?" His head tilted, ears quirked in opposite directions.

"If that... Makes any sense, but anyways!" He beamed back to Aster, still contently holding his hand. "Did you want something else to eat? A-a little more hardy I mean. I'm-- I cook.. a lot, and I even help out the cooks sometimes at Ava and Crows, so I know my way around the kitchen down there and was gonna make myself some breakfast. Did you wanna come with? I can... I can maybe show you around and we can figure out what to make for breakfast together!"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster saw the shock on the other's face. He saw those wide eyes, and while he could not blame a single soul for reacting in such a way to a display such as the one he'd just embarrassingly put on, it still had him dropping his head a little in a kind of shame.

It was funny, really, how things could be so different if Lucifer had taken a different approach. If he'd decided to build Aster up, make him feel strong, feel like he belonged rather than making him feel wrong and broken and an outcast, perhaps he would've had exactly what he wanted. Maybe, if he'd taken a bit of extra time to tell Aster that he was a work in progress rather than a failure, or a person rather than a toy, he may have believed him, may have served him willingly and at full strength. Instead, he was... this. This scared little thing who was ashamed of his own power most of the time.

He swallowed, about to make excuses to leave despite it being his own space - or at least, his assigned space at the time - when he was asked... are you alright? rather than being met with sneers or screams.

"I..." He started, looking up at him for a moment, then to that hand that was close to his own. That want to reach out, that want to comfort - he understood that. He'd been that. Oh how he wished he hadn't been torn down so much he couldn't even trust someone being so kind.

"It just... It made me jump," He whispered, voice barely there for a moment as he swallowed, trying to compose himself. He could make excuses, but he found himself hit with the sudden urge to tell the truth - or at least part of it.

"I... Someone... Someone powerful will be looking for me, that's all. And I started thinking what if the food was poisoned, and then that made me think what if he'd infiltrated already and then... then the door, and I..." he swallowed, shaking his head, "You were talking, I'm so sorry..."

[lostxinxavarice]

That... That had been a bit of an understatement, hadn't it. Just 'jumping' was one thing. But jumping and almost instantly being covered what looked like shadows was another. And a fleet glance down at the table had confirmed it- The shadows around his hand and even the dish were receding too, and the room seemed to lighten back to normal in a similar way. And if those tension-white knuckles were any sign, Aster was having to do a lot of convincing to.. at least make it look like he'd just been lightly startled. That had brows knitting further upward. Eyes flicked to their hands. So.. so close. But the distance between them seemed almost impossible to clear for some reason. Well, no.. Not some unknown reason, at least.

But for now, his eyes jumped a little wider and a little lighter. Because what followed hadn't been hollow- Hadn't been just.. something easy to say that would move the conversation along. It was hard. And it was real. It was ears, this time, that poofed into existence at the top of his head, perked at the words that followed. He took in every single word that followed, and every unsaid hint of the ones implied. Eyes grew a warmer, dewier shade of honey drown, ears pressing a little flat as he listened to Aster's past and remembered his own.

"It.. It's okay, Aster" The low voice breathed out after a few seconds of thought, head giving a gentle nod. He scooted just a little closer. "I.. I know you.. just apologized, just now, cus I was talking but.." Brows twitched together for a moment as amber hues looked into the others... muted orange eyes. Lips pursed for a moment, like he was debating on saying anything. It might sound stupid but... Well he hadn't made progress by staying in a comfort zone- Otherwise, he'd still be curled up in a corner watching the flap at his door for food.

"But I... I feel like.. you're also using it to apologize for being... scared... and being hurt.." The longer strands of his hair came untucked from behind his [human] ears as he gently but firmly shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for having been hurt by somebody, or for having defenses against being hurt--- by them or others... Especially not when he sounds so..." He grimaced in purely empathetic pain, ears pressing flat back. "So... all encompassing.. Suffocating.." Tatsuya swallowed gently, looking to the table, trying to find words in the woodgrain for a few seconds.

"You don't have to apologize for healing, Aster. It might take... a lot of ups and downs to get to an okay place again. Heck I-I'm.. still not fully always in the clear myself but.." Eyes flicked back up to Aster's again, gaze gentle and sure, "You're.. not alone in that healing. And... A-and I know even that might take some time to really..like.. To really settle into your bones? That's how it felt for me at least. Hearing that it was okay to be scared, to jump at loud noises or new people was one thing.. But it took a bit for the message to connect with my brain and my body... if that makes sense? It does take time but.. Everyone here understands that. And nobody's gonna hold that time and that process against you, o-okay?"

He swallowed and looked back down to the table, to a hand that been covered seconds ago in swirling shadow. Tatsuya's own hand shifted closer, three fingers lifting, hovering a few inches over Aster's own as eyes went back to the others. "C...Can I..?"

[hellslittleprince]

It would be difficult to trust someone so soon, and Aster knew this. He knew that, given the life he'd had, the people he'd come face to face with, that trusting anyone was impossible now. But oh god, he wanted to. He wanted to be able to lean into Tatsuya, to believe deep in his heart that he could trust him, that he could believe what he was saying.

But words were in his head, whispered in a voice he'd known from the day he was born - words that told him no one could be trusted. That, for as long as Aster lived, he would never know true peace if he didn't obey, didn't do what Lucifer wanted of him.

And if he did trust, if he did let him in, would that put him at risk? If everyone here had been through so much hardship, so much hurt... If Tatsuya himself had clawed up from rock bottom to be what he was now, could Aster risk even the chance that Lucifer would come and make him suffer simply for knowing him?

But then a hand was close to his own, hovering, and a careful question asked... And oh god, Aster was weak. He was so weak, so starved of any kind of affection or support or anything that despite it all, despite the fear, he nodded. It was a selfish agreement, a selfish need for reassurance or comfort despite the risk it held.

He remembered being a pup. He remembered friends he made, or tried to make. He remembered the way they would whimper, would yelp in pain when Lucifer deemed them a distraction and not worth the trouble. He would hurt them, to show Aster what he would do one day. It had taken a handful of the pups limping to Ash's doorstep before everyone stopped bothering to try talking to him. Before they looked at him like the monster, the abomination that he was.

"I... I don't want him to hurt any of you..." he whispered, his voice so barely there. It was a hard confession, and he had no idea why he was admitting such things, "I t-told Ember yesterday, I... I shouldn't be here. Me being here it... it puts everyone at risk, i-it... There are people more deserving of th-this place. I think I'm beyond repair anyway, I think I was just... I was born wrong."

[lostxinxavarice]

Silence hung over them after that offer, hopeful and tense and god so quiet. Ears lifted to take in any noise, any... hint. Anything. He wasn't impressive like any of the other's here, couldn't hear the things they did. All he could do was train to pick up the others... slowly increasing heartrate. Was Aster about to ask him to leave? Was he gearing up the courage to pull away and send Tatsuya to, in Xin's words, 'pack it up and hit the road'? The anticipation alone, much like his hovering hand, lingered, and even had his ears slowly pressing back. Only for a tiny motion to cause them to stand up straight again as eyes went wide.

A nod. A small, scared, incredible little action. But it hadn't just been a nod... God it'd been so, so much more. And oh god how the words meant so much, and hurt so, so much. Tatsuya listened first before he moved a muscle. He listened close as ears pressed unknowingly flat and brows pinched. Tatsu was... never a fighter.. But god how he'd love to take a chunk of whatever thing had hurt a soft soul like this so completely.

But he listened. To any and everything that soft voice, near to breaking would give him. And then, after everything, then Tatsuya gently rested his hand on Aster's. He let a second or two linger before he took a small liberty, and held that hand in his own with a gentle but unapologetic grip. Lips parted..

Butt god.. Where to start?

"...You...you're not bad.. Aster." He swallowed softly with another shake of his head, the motion untucking the hair from the other hair, semi long strands framing his face as he looked from linked hands to the other.

"What...Whatever he did.. to make you honestly feel that way... Those are... Those are things he did. The people he... must've hurt to hurt you.. Those were his actions, Aster. Not yours. I think.. Maybe you are different, were born different... But its... Its the stuff he did that made that feel bad." He thought to give that hand a squeeze.. But that felt too.. too brief. So instead, he doubled down, holding Aster's one hand in both of his own.

"You being here isn't...." Brows knit, eyes at their hands in thought for only as long as it took for the words to come to his brain with a shake of his head. "Its not bad either, Aster. There are plenty of rooms here. You're not.. taking this from anyone. We.. Everybody here came from.. a darker place. Some, like Inhyeonggie-hyung are..." Lips pursed momentarily over the word, ".... Lucky enough to know the place or people he came from are gone. But that's not the case for everyone here. I'm not saying this to say like... 'oh everybody struggles suck it up' or anything dumb like that. I'm just saying..." Brows knit a little and he did give their hands a gentle squeeze and made sure their eyes were locked.

"I'm saying it because we know... We're all here to live in a safer place. Safer from where we came from.. But also.. We live here knowing that people here may need to be defended, protected. And we stay here knowing that, willing and happy to do whatever when that time comes. Its not.. wasted on you. Because that... that thing that hurt you is wrong Aster. You deserve to be happy, to breathe and smile and laugh and love and.." One more squeeze, for teary-eyed good measure.

"And we're all willing to fight for that. That's not gonna change, okay?"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster saw the shock on the other's face. He saw those wide eyes, and while he could not blame a single soul for reacting in such a way to a display such as the one he'd just embarrassingly put on, it still had him dropping his head a little in a kind of shame.

It was funny, really, how things could be so different if Lucifer had taken a different approach. If he'd decided to build Aster up, make him feel strong, feel like he belonged rather than making him feel wrong and broken and an outcast, perhaps he would've had exactly what he wanted. Maybe, if he'd taken a bit of extra time to tell Aster that he was a work in progress rather than a failure, or a person rather than a toy, he may have believed him, may have served him willingly and at full strength. Instead, he was... this. This scared little thing who was ashamed of his own power most of the time.

He swallowed, about to make excuses to leave despite it being his own space - or at least, his assigned space at the time - when he was asked... are you alright? rather than being met with sneers or screams.

"I..." He started, looking up at him for a moment, then to that hand that was close to his own. That want to reach out, that want to comfort - he understood that. He'd been that. Oh how he wished he hadn't been torn down so much he couldn't even trust someone being so kind.

"It just... It made me jump," He whispered, voice barely there for a moment as he swallowed, trying to compose himself. He could make excuses, but he found himself hit with the sudden urge to tell the truth - or at least part of it.

"I... Someone... Someone powerful will be looking for me, that's all. And I started thinking what if the food was poisoned, and then that made me think what if he'd infiltrated already and then... then the door, and I..." he swallowed, shaking his head, "You were talking, I'm so sorry..."

[lostxinxavarice]

That... That had been a bit of an understatement, hadn't it. Just 'jumping' was one thing. But jumping and almost instantly being covered what looked like shadows was another. And a fleet glance down at the table had confirmed it- The shadows around his hand and even the dish were receding too, and the room seemed to lighten back to normal in a similar way. And if those tension-white knuckles were any sign, Aster was having to do a lot of convincing to.. at least make it look like he'd just been lightly startled. That had brows knitting further upward. Eyes flicked to their hands. So.. so close. But the distance between them seemed almost impossible to clear for some reason. Well, no.. Not some unknown reason, at least.

But for now, his eyes jumped a little wider and a little lighter. Because what followed hadn't been hollow- Hadn't been just.. something easy to say that would move the conversation along. It was hard. And it was real. It was ears, this time, that poofed into existence at the top of his head, perked at the words that followed. He took in every single word that followed, and every unsaid hint of the ones implied. Eyes grew a warmer, dewier shade of honey drown, ears pressing a little flat as he listened to Aster's past and remembered his own.

"It.. It's okay, Aster" The low voice breathed out after a few seconds of thought, head giving a gentle nod. He scooted just a little closer. "I.. I know you.. just apologized, just now, cus I was talking but.." Brows twitched together for a moment as amber hues looked into the others... muted orange eyes. Lips pursed for a moment, like he was debating on saying anything. It might sound stupid but... Well he hadn't made progress by staying in a comfort zone- Otherwise, he'd still be curled up in a corner watching the flap at his door for food.

"But I... I feel like.. you're also using it to apologize for being... scared... and being hurt.." The longer strands of his hair came untucked from behind his [human] ears as he gently but firmly shook his head. "You don't have to apologize for having been hurt by somebody, or for having defenses against being hurt--- by them or others... Especially not when he sounds so..." He grimaced in purely empathetic pain, ears pressing flat back. "So... all encompassing.. Suffocating.." Tatsuya swallowed gently, looking to the table, trying to find words in the woodgrain for a few seconds.

"You don't have to apologize for healing, Aster. It might take... a lot of ups and downs to get to an okay place again. Heck I-I'm.. still not fully always in the clear myself but.." Eyes flicked back up to Aster's again, gaze gentle and sure, "You're.. not alone in that healing. And... A-and I know even that might take some time to really..like.. To really settle into your bones? That's how it felt for me at least. Hearing that it was okay to be scared, to jump at loud noises or new people was one thing.. But it took a bit for the message to connect with my brain and my body... if that makes sense? It does take time but.. Everyone here understands that. And nobody's gonna hold that time and that process against you, o-okay?"

He swallowed and looked back down to the table, to a hand that been covered seconds ago in swirling shadow. Tatsuya's own hand shifted closer, three fingers lifting, hovering a few inches over Aster's own as eyes went back to the others. "C...Can I..?"

[lostxinxavarice]

Full, slightly chapped lips parted for a moment, but for once his brain made him pause and listen to everything before responding. And for once, Tatsu was glad it had. Because he smiled gently, empathetically at the sound before standing and getting the covered tray of treats, taking the cover off, and sliding it over.

"Please don't feel like you have to wait to try them on my account. I promise I sampled way more while I was making everything so. A-and it makes sense that you didn't look around. I don't know really anything about you but I can guess that you arrived here too tired to do much more than sleep" The warmth and the almost heavy empathy softened his smile. His eyes shifted off to the side as he sat beside the other, hands clasped at his lap.

"Hyung didn't.. say much of anything. He never does when we get new people here, cus he never really has to." The swirling of his eyes slowed to a stop as his gaze went towards the floor, clasped fingers figdeting slowly.

"Its kind of... One of those not-needed-to-be-said kind of things when it comes to this place. Every single one of us came to Avarice running from death, some.. like me for instance, barely escaping it. Even Taeseok and Ember Hyung. So..." He blinked back from almost slipping into darker, more copper-smelling memories to smile warmly back up to Aster. A hand was so, so tempted to reach out, but if his journey here had been anything like Tatsu's.. that touch would be too much. So the hands just rested atop the table, a little open. There if the other wanted to contact, but not demanding it either.

"So I just mean.. Your circumstances or secrets are yours to tetll when or.. if you feel ready. Everybody here understands that and.. They are all kind in their own ways. Even Xin! Though he's the most rough around the edges. And Inhyeonggie-hyung- the vampire you guessed about!" His smile went a little warmer, "He's really kind and cares sincerely for other people its just... His past was.. a lot longer than any of our lifetimes and a lot more... hard, so he shows it in his own kind of way. And..."

....

"Oh!" He perked slightly, back straightening as his train of thought finally chugged in a full circle, "You asked about my Form, didn't you? Like ages ago and I fully skipped over it! God.." It was a sigh, but it came out as more a of whine as his forehead bumped against the top of the table.

"I'm sorry about that. I swear I didn't mean to ignore you I'm just.." He whined sighed again and sat back up- unaware of the small red spot from where forehead met table-, lips pushed out in a pout. "My brain's... It's not good most times, especially when talking to people-- Which is funny cus I also don't know when to shut up like---Like right now, I guess"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster was so curious about the other that he'd nearly forgotten why he was here in the first place. Almost. Because the conversation took a turn towards why the others were here and... well. He did ask the question, he supposed.

He was painfully aware that in comparison, his own story was likely boring. A boy raised to be a weapon, bullied by a bunch of people who had permission and the gall to punch down. There was no... dramatic escape. No bloody clawing at a door, no bursting in pursued by hunters or barely clinging onto life. Aster's situation had been quieter. If he went back... Lucifer would keep him around for a while, he was sure. Probably punish him for ever thinking he could leave, but...

His eyes dropped to the food, and for a flicker of a moment, it occurred to him that while Tatsuya was nothing but friendly, while the shadows hadn't grown cold or sharp in the room, Lucifer had hurt people with far sweeter promises. He would not put it past the man to poison him through someone else, and Aster didn't know anyone here, not really, and what if Yongsun was in on all of it? And-...

He was hesitating, panic in his eyes even as his features stayed carefully schooled, swallowing as he tried to focus on what was being said instead.

There was a bang, down the hallway somewhere - Aster would realise, after a few moments, that it was a door but in that brief second, his heart leapt, his eyes flicked a smokey black, and the shadows in the room grew. It was when he realised that it had been nothing, that steps had just passed by and headed off to wherever, that he realised what a fright he must look - darkness itself wrapping around his body, protective and defensive all at once.

"I-..." He started, blinking once, twice, his eyes flicking back to their normal slightly ashen orange. He focused on making it all disappear, on guiding shadows back to where they were supposed to be, even as knuckles turned white where he kept hands clenched to one another.

Oh god, he'd cut off his whole tirade, his whole little flurry of apologies and that red spot on his forehead and-... Aster;s eyes stung, but he forced a smile, trying to pretend none of what had just happened had happened, "It's o-okay. You can tell me now, if you like?"

[lostxinxavarice]

In general, Tatsuya was normally fine with sudden noises a lie . But this one had certainly got him. Judging by the sound and the direction of it, Xin was probably leaving to get supplies for the bar, however begrudgingly. But it'd still made him jump damn near a foot out of his seat. He forced out a breath, only to suck that breath back in as he looked to the other.

Aster was... There was... It looked like.. shadows? Covering his arms and hands but... It moved and undulated... And had the room gotten darker? It was morning still, but the shadows themselves seemed to stand longer, deeper than they had before. Full lips hung just a little open as the tall, turtleneck wearing male took in the site, gaze stopping at those pitch-black eyes, blinking once as they blinked. And blinked again. And then Aster's normal eyes were back. He watched with slightly wide eyes as those tendrils waned- and if the white-knuckles were any indication, that wasn't the easiest task. Brows knit together and upward.

And he scooted closer, hand on the table, a touch closer to the Aster's both, voice softer.

"Are you okay, Aster? I-- The door got me too. I think it was Xin-hyung getting stuff.. I-II think he was probably in a hurry and slammed his door without thinking but.." Lips pursed, even pushing out in a gently worried pout, first at the door, and then back to Aster.

"Are you alright?"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster hadn't had much experience with being flirted with, so it took him a good few moments to realise how the other's words sounded too, and he was soon blushing right alongside him. He was sure that wasn't what he meant... but that didn't mean he wasn't going to blush over it anyway.

"I-I guess I'll have to see what they even want me to do. Or what they'd be happy with me doing." He answered, moving gingerly to sit down at the nearby table, motioning an offer for him to do the same, even while he listed off staff members, a number of which he hadn't met yet. Would they all be kind? It was hard to say. It was a wishful thought, a hope that really, he had no place hoping.

It was childish, to hope that everything was perfect here, that it really was a paradise, an oasis of safety in the storm that has been his existence. But he was hoping anyway. In truth, he was just glad to be getting some kind of information. Names might help ease the ache of having to try and either fit in or blend back into the shadows.

"Mm, I think I met him. He... I recognised his scent. He's a vampire, right?" he asked, not sure if that was an overstepping question or not. Oh well, it was out there now. And it wasn't like he was spilling out why he knew these things, how he knew the scent enough to be able to pinpoint it. He wasn't sure how much Ember had told him. How much he'd told anyone, and it had him curious...

"What did... Ember say? When he told you?" he asked carefully, chewing a little at his bottom lip. If he'd told the everything, told them all to be careful, he would not blame them. His stomach clenched, and at first he thought it was nerves, but... it rumbled too. A low little noise, but it made him realise just how long it had been since he'd eaten. "Sorry, I... I didn't want to go snooping when I got here yesterday..."

[lostxinxavarice]

Full, slightly chapped lips parted for a moment, but for once his brain made him pause and listen to everything before responding. And for once, Tatsu was glad it had. Because he smiled gently, empathetically at the sound before standing and getting the covered tray of treats, taking the cover off, and sliding it over.

"Please don't feel like you have to wait to try them on my account. I promise I sampled way more while I was making everything so. A-and it makes sense that you didn't look around. I don't know really anything about you but I can guess that you arrived here too tired to do much more than sleep" The warmth and the almost heavy empathy softened his smile. His eyes shifted off to the side as he sat beside the other, hands clasped at his lap.

"Hyung didn't.. say much of anything. He never does when we get new people here, cus he never really has to." The swirling of his eyes slowed to a stop as his gaze went towards the floor, clasped fingers figdeting slowly.

"Its kind of... One of those not-needed-to-be-said kind of things when it comes to this place. Every single one of us came to Avarice running from death, some.. like me for instance, barely escaping it. Even Taeseok and Ember Hyung. So..." He blinked back from almost slipping into darker, more copper-smelling memories to smile warmly back up to Aster. A hand was so, so tempted to reach out, but if his journey here had been anything like Tatsu's.. that touch would be too much. So the hands just rested atop the table, a little open. There if the other wanted to contact, but not demanding it either.

"So I just mean.. Your circumstances or secrets are yours to tetll when or.. if you feel ready. Everybody here understands that and.. They are all kind in their own ways. Even Xin! Though he's the most rough around the edges. And Inhyeonggie-hyung- the vampire you guessed about!" His smile went a little warmer, "He's really kind and cares sincerely for other people its just... His past was.. a lot longer than any of our lifetimes and a lot more... hard, so he shows it in his own kind of way. And..."

....

"Oh!" He perked slightly, back straightening as his train of thought finally chugged in a full circle, "You asked about my Form, didn't you? Like ages ago and I fully skipped over it! God.." It was a sigh, but it came out as more a of whine as his forehead bumped against the top of the table.

"I'm sorry about that. I swear I didn't mean to ignore you I'm just.." He whined sighed again and sat back up- unaware of the small red spot from where forehead met table-, lips pushed out in a pout. "My brain's... It's not good most times, especially when talking to people-- Which is funny cus I also don't know when to shut up like---Like right now, I guess"

[lostxinxavarice]

Unfortunately for all those doomed to interact with him, Tatsuya wasn't, nor had he ever been, good at words. Worse still when he was expected to put them all together and respond to the right things the right way. There was just.. something wrong in his brain, that would hear something and latch onto it, shuffling other things done the queue.

In this case, that thing he'd hooked into had been the very first thing Aster had said. It'd been that which caused swirling golden eyes to flick up from the floor, shimmering a few shades brighter as a smile pulled at his lips. Not at the promise of payment, but-

"Y-you think you might work here too? Y-you should! It--" Too much. Too loud. Tatsuya caught himself and cleared his throat, voice back to a normal volume. General disposition... at least closer to a normal person replying in a conversation.

"I.. I don't know how much Hyung would've explained to you, but you can totally work here with us if you want! I'm not.. I'm not really the night club type? Its all for... y'know hot, tall, muscluar guys and stuff. But Crows Nest is better for me! Its-- That's what we call Avarice during the day, when it's a brunch spot. I work as a server, busser, coat taker. Sometimes a host if Hyung is away or our other Hyung is off doing stuff. I could-" He gasped, eyes alight, smile wider and warm.

"If you wanted to shadow me, I could show you what Crow's Nest is like! I think you'd be a great host! Or maybe a server too!" And, as though partially in reply to the question his brain had sprinted past, and fully unbeknownst to him, in the blink of an eye.. a tail appeared behind him, and was indeed, wagging fast enough to create just the slightest draft.

[hellslittleprince]

Aster had no idea what job he would do - he had no skills. No ability to be of any use, really. He'd grown up a soldier from the day he was born, trained day and night to become a weapon that had unfortunately failed. He couldn't… serve drinks or make coffee, or cook or clean or exist outside of all of that. It was all he knew. He'd considered, very briefly, about security, but could he even do that? He was strong, yes, and had abilities that could get people kicked out in seconds if needed, but he looked far from the security type and he wouldn't know who to trust and-…

There he was again, spiralling internally when it had been such a simple conversation, a simple question that had been asked. No, not so much a question… an offer. Aster preferred the nighttime, but if the bar was for tall, muscular guys… Well, he couldn't see why Tatsuya didnt think he fit for a start, but he knew he didn't.

"I… I'll think about," he promised, hoping it was enough… hoping it wouldn't dampen the other's excitement. Because that tail was a sight that made his chest warm just a little. To know that someone was just… that comfortable while standing in front of him.

The tail, from what he could see of it, with those eyes… It had him smiling just a hint again. He couldn't quite pinpoint exactly what the other was but… it was close. His own tail wouldn't show while he was in human form, he'd never been able to half-shift, but the shadows could form it, or ears even, when he was lost enough.

"Is Hyung… Ember?" He asked after a moment, glancing through the bag to pick out a t-shirt. Just a plainish one for now, something to slip on so he didn't feel quite so bare. He tugged it on over his head, hair somehow mussing even more, but he didn't notice. It fit well enough, and it was clean… and didn't have holes in it. That was a huge step up.

[lostxinxavarice]

"You will? Y-you should! Though.. Honestly you'd be a great fit at Avarice too..." Swirling honey-pools looked over Aster with a thoughtless motion, a nod to match before he paused-- The reality of how that must've.. looked and sounded dawning upon him, cauing his eyes to jump a little wide and that blasted flush to deepen a little.

"A-all that to say is I think you'd be great anywhere I-I'm just. I'd be happy to show you things if you wanted to work at Crows Nest s-so just.. yeah.." He nodded a little, tail slowing and silently poofing away, Tatsuya still fully unaware that it'd come or gone.

"Hyung? Hyung is.." He'd blinked up at the question. But this time, instead of wincing at himself, he actually puffed out a soft laugh, hand rubbing the back of his neck and the longer hairs that came to an end there.

"Hyung is.. Something you'll figure out real quick is that I'm the youngest... and most boring thing here. So I call everybody Hyung. I know Ember-hyung is the one who told me you'd moved in! And Taekseok-Hyung is the one who started and owns all of this." To which he gestured very generally around them.

"But as to who I talked about before, Inhyeonggie-hyung is the one who actually rescued me. You.." Brows knit, full lips pushing out in thought as his head gave a puppy-like tilt.

"I don't.. Know if you've met him yet but maybe? He's the smaller front door bouncer, probably about your height, really nice but really uhm..." Brows furrowed and lips pursed as he thought of the word.

"Really intense kind of stare? I don't know if that's helpful to pick him out, but that's about the best way to describe him. He's not intense like Sunil-hyung, our other bouncer. Inhyeongie-hyung is like... a colder, more quiet kind of intense if... if that helps.... at all"

[hellslittleprince]

Aster had considered it - shifting and staying shifted. It's not like anyone would argue with him when he could bare his teeth and growl and send most running for the hills. But opening doors was difficult without opposable thumbs and as much as he sought comfort in the simplicity of his wolf form and all of the… lack of complex emotion to sort through that it offered, he'd known that the moment he let himself hide like that, he'd never come out of it. It was too much of a siren song to resist.

When he shifted, when he gave himself over to that form, it was like both of his halves aligned perfectly. He could drift through shadows unseen, even more so than when he was in this form, his fur fluttering in wisps of darkness like smoke as he moved. There was no… social cues, or having to think of worded responses. There was only him. The wolf.

Well, and food and toilet breaks.

He was still ever quiet, likely infuriatingly so. He thought he caught a flash of yellow in the other's eye as Tatsuya left and came back in with a bag of clothes. He blinked in surprise, running fingers through hair that, despite not actually having been pressed against a pillow overnight, looked remarkably like it had. It only messed it further.

God, what was he doing? The few he'd met so far had been kind, and yet he still felt like each kind hand would turn into a claw, that that claw would slash at him and leave more scars, more pain, more trauma. Tatsuya had given him no reason whatsoever to think for a second that he would do that, and yet Aster was still skittish, still cautious.

If he had hackles in this form, they would be raised as he stepped forward, taking the bag with another little nod in thanks. "Are you sure? I… I'll find a way to repay you. It might take me a little while, but Ember said I could maybe get a job."

He swallowed, looking down at the bag in hands that were still bruised from swinging punches in self defence the day before. His nose still stung, jaw still ached with bruising he wasn't sure had shown up yet. But even then, he wasn't… beaten and bloody. He'd been alive, and breathing, and he felt remarkably like he was taking up the space that someone more deserving should have.

"You said you had a form?" He asked after a moment, trying to draw himself away from that thought while he had company. There was time for spiralling later.

[lostxinxavarice]

Unfortunately for all those doomed to interact with him, Tatsuya wasn't, nor had he ever been, good at words. Worse still when he was expected to put them all together and respond to the right things the right way. There was just.. something wrong in his brain, that would hear something and latch onto it, shuffling other things done the queue.

In this case, that thing he'd hooked into had been the very first thing Aster had said. It'd been that which caused swirling golden eyes to flick up from the floor, shimmering a few shades brighter as a smile pulled at his lips. Not at the promise of payment, but-

"Y-you think you might work here too? Y-you should! It--" Too much. Too loud. Tatsuya caught himself and cleared his throat, voice back to a normal volume. General disposition... at least closer to a normal person replying in a conversation.

"I.. I don't know how much Hyung would've explained to you, but you can totally work here with us if you want! I'm not.. I'm not really the night club type? Its all for... y'know hot, tall, muscluar guys and stuff. But Crows Nest is better for me! Its-- That's what we call Avarice during the day, when it's a brunch spot. I work as a server, busser, coat taker. Sometimes a host if Hyung is away or our other Hyung is off doing stuff. I could-" He gasped, eyes alight, smile wider and warm.

"If you wanted to shadow me, I could show you what Crow's Nest is like! I think you'd be a great host! Or maybe a server too!" And, as though partially in reply to the question his brain had sprinted past, and fully unbeknownst to him, in the blink of an eye.. a tail appeared behind him, and was indeed, wagging fast enough to create just the slightest draft.

[hellslittleprince]

Aster was quiet still as he listened, taking in what he could through his sleep addled brain. He had no concept of what time it was, or how to be a polite guest, it seemed. Even less so, when he seemed to stop taking it in and instead, was taking in the whole of the man in front of him. He was tall - Aster did have to look up, though that wasn't unusual. He wasn't the tallest person himself.

But more than that, he had a face with features delicate enough that someone could tell him he was made from starlight and Aster would believe it. A smile an a flush that only accentuated that more.

But no, he could tell that the other wasn't made of starlight.

He could tell by the scent that carried under the smell of the freshly made cakes and cookies on a plate, or the hint of ink and torn paper that he could still just pick up on - it was similar to Wolf. Similar, maybe, to his own, if he really thought about it. But… different. Like someone had turned the dial on the contrast down just a little, softening the sharp edges, maybe upping the sepia. It was curious, and he found himself yet again tilting his head in curiosity.

A smile, just the very hint of one, started to pull at one corner of his lips. Apologising for himself… Now where had he heard that one before?

"Do… You want to come visit your plants?" He asked in the end, stepping back a little and opening the door. A fools decision, probably, but… maybe a small part of him was doing it selfishly. Because while Wolf was different in a lot of ways, that infectious energy he'd been craving, missing, seemed to flow through the other too. "I- Oh, here, let me take that from you." He realised the other was still holding the plate, and quickly took it, bowing a little in thanks. Another strange move for him, given he often refused such things because very few in his eyes actually deserved it.

"I um… I'll go find a shirt…" He offered after a second, eyes drifting to the other's long, somewhat muscular arms and-… No. No, he had bigger problems right now. Like his own lack of clean clothes. He needed to find somewhere he could get some. A thrift store maybe. He didn't exactly have a lot of funds to pay for anything, but he'd left most of his stuff behind and… there his mind went again, racing away from the person right in front of him, "Sorry… I'm not-… I don't… I'm not good at this."

[lostxinxavarice]

A door slammed in his face would make a lot of sense right about now. If he was lucky, maybe as he was standing there, getting the door shut on him, the door might knock against his skull and knock some kind of sense into him. At most, maybe the other would give him an odd little look, tentatively take the plate, and then gently close the door in his face. All valid things that could or should have happened.

But none of that happened. Instead, there was a almost inaudible creak of a door opening further, and an invite to see.. to see his plants. It was a small thing. A thing that almost anybody would've shrugged off. But Tatsuya felt a smile, timidly hopeful, pull at his lips, the apples of his cheeks flush all over again, and then a few degrees warmer as the plate was taken from his hands as he was allowed to step inside.

"I-its okay, trust me. You don't have to be" He'd gravitated towards the small orchids by the front door, broad shoulders relaxing along with his smile as he carefully began feeling over their petals, the gold and yellow of his eyes swirling slowly. He even felt himself puff out a soft laugh.

"You're already better at it than I was when Hyung rescued me. I showed up bloody, half alive, and even after they'd managed to heal me, I stayed curled in in my Form, as far from the door as I could for about a week. Hyung had to install one of those... those little doors for cats? At the bottom of my door to slide in food for me." That---- Nobody needed to know that. He winced a little at ... all of that. God what was wrong with him....

"Oh! Right! I also--" Without another word, he darted from the room, and darted back in, a small sack in his hands.

"Its.. Its not much but.. Its clothes. Some of the ones I grew out of. They have some sweats and things in the drawers but I thought.. I mean you don't need to take them but if you wanted something for until hyung gets back?"

[lostxinxavarice]

When Tomorrow Comes

@hellslittleprince -Aster

The next morning came, and there was a gentle... rustling outside of Aster's door, and small whispers. Only one voice and it was intensely, quietly whispering. Then came a small, ceramaic 'clink'.... And A pause. More shuffling and then the sound of paper, and the event feinter sound of a pencil pressing gently against the door.

[hellslittleprince]

Aster had become a very light sleeper over the years, so it was no surprise that he heard the strange rustling even through his morning doze. He snuffed, paw rubbing over an ear and eye as he looked up, head tilting just to the side… what on earth…

He shifted slowly, stretching up with a soft groan as he reached for thankfully dry trousers and slipped them on, moving carefully to the door. Should he answer? Should he hide in a corner? The latter sounded like the best idea to him. But he was a big brave hellhound…. And he opened the door, chain still on, so whoever was outside couldn’t get in.

[lostxinxavarice]

There was more shuffling and writing, only for the sounds and motions to pause... And the sound of crinkling paper, ripping paper, more pencil scratches and--

"A-ah! Oh... God.. Fuck. I--" A voice, low and soft gasped on the other side of the door as it opened, a tall, slender frame standing on the other side- only for his height to be halved as he bowed low enough that brown strands dusted the ground.

"I-I'm sorry about that. I-If I woke you, I mean. I didn't mean to I just--" The male straightened back up after grabbing a plate from the ground, the plate was covered in well stacked small cakes and cookies.

"I'm.. My name is Tatsuya and I.. I heard somebody was going to be living in this loft and I'm the next closest one so I wanted to give you something to welcome you here? And also to apologize for all the plants I left lying around your home but I didn't want to wake you so I want going to leave these here but I didn't want to freak you out thinking some random person had just left you suspicious food so I was going to leave a note on your door but I mis-wrote my own name and...."

The and hung in the air as the final car crashed into the wreck that was his train of thought. So, with large eyes and no idea what to do next, Tatsuya simply bowed again, holding out his little plate of treats with a soft little ''...Sorry''

[hellslittleprince]

Of all the things he expected to find on the other side of the door, this was... not on his list, if he was honest. An eviction notice already, a polite letter from Ember telling him that actually, they'd all talked about it and they didn't want that risk hanging over their heads. But no it was... a tall, cake-holding person apologising for... what, exactly?

Aster blinked slowly, his sleep addled brain slowly catching up with what was in front of him. His hair was sticking up in odd directions, skin sleep warm and a little flushed...

He was talking about... what? Plants, notes, suspicious food and... Oh! Oh, he was still looking through the small gap in the door.

"Hang... Hang on," he started softly, pushing the door closed enough to unhook it, opening it a bit wider, though still hovered in a way that he could close it if he needed to. For now... This stranger didn't seem to be a threat...

He actually kind of reminded him of Wolf.

Aster swallowed back the sting at that thought, "Tatsuya..." he parroted back, committing the name to memory, "I uh... Aster," he answered, chewing a bit at his lip as he glanced over him again, at the plate, back up... "Thank... Thank you." he said eventually, unsure if he should take the plate and ust as awkward apparently and yet in a far less helpful, bright way. He was just... god, what even was he? A shell of a person? A dark spot? A lead weight? A-

"How do you mis-write your own name?" he asked after a second when the thought occurred to him, genuinely curious even if there were a bit more or a relaxed tone to it. Not quite a laugh, but... he was curious.

[lostxinxavarice]

Standing. There was a lot of standing. The other was just.. standing and shirtless and silent. God, what was he doing? Had it been too much? Too soon? I mean God, Ember had just told him about his new neighbor this morning for God's sake, and what had he done? Instead of going back to bed like a normal person, he'd instead stayed up all that time making this stranger some food he might not like, plating it, and now bothering him at the crack of 10am.

The other-- Aster. Aster. Wow, that was a lovely name- And.. Yes, okay. He'd at least been given a name instead of a scowl or a door slammed in his face. That much was good. A name, a slightly more open door, a word of thanks. But now...

Now what?

Now he was just standing there, shirtless wordless and Tatsuya never knew what to do in moments like this where h--

"H-huh?" Immediately, his face flushed and eyes glowed a warm honey golden. "O-oh I...Well.. So I had started writing my name a-as I normally do. But since its-- Y'know its a Japanese name I didn't know if you'd want to read that so I stopped writing it halfway through one character and put a line where it didn't go and then I ripped the page trying to scratch it out so then I thought to get a different sheet of paper because I didn't want it to look like some stranger had just left you a ransom note with a strange plate of baked goods so it....." His mind and brain finally caught up with one another but left Tatsu in the dust, once more.

"S-so...." He coughed slightly because oh god now he was the one standing and silent. "S-so here. Its.. A housewarming gift? A-and an apology again.. f-for the plants and.." He winced a little, "For ... y'know... me"

[lostxinxavarice]

When Tomorrow Comes

@hellslittleprince -Aster

The next morning came, and there was a gentle... rustling outside of Aster's door, and small whispers. Only one voice and it was intensely, quietly whispering. Then came a small, ceramaic 'clink'.... And A pause. More shuffling and then the sound of paper, and the event feinter sound of a pencil pressing gently against the door.

[hellslittleprince]

Aster had become a very light sleeper over the years, so it was no surprise that he heard the strange rustling even through his morning doze. He snuffed, paw rubbing over an ear and eye as he looked up, head tilting just to the side… what on earth…

He shifted slowly, stretching up with a soft groan as he reached for thankfully dry trousers and slipped them on, moving carefully to the door. Should he answer? Should he hide in a corner? The latter sounded like the best idea to him. But he was a big brave hellhound…. And he opened the door, chain still on, so whoever was outside couldn’t get in.

[lostxinxavarice]

There was more shuffling and writing, only for the sounds and motions to pause... And the sound of crinkling paper, ripping paper, more pencil scratches and--

"A-ah! Oh... God.. Fuck. I--" A voice, low and soft gasped on the other side of the door as it opened, a tall, slender frame standing on the other side- only for his height to be halved as he bowed low enough that brown strands dusted the ground.

"I-I'm sorry about that. I-If I woke you, I mean. I didn't mean to I just--" The male straightened back up after grabbing a plate from the ground, the plate was covered in well stacked small cakes and cookies.

"I'm.. My name is Tatsuya and I.. I heard somebody was going to be living in this loft and I'm the next closest one so I wanted to give you something to welcome you here? And also to apologize for all the plants I left lying around your home but I didn't want to wake you so I want going to leave these here but I didn't want to freak you out thinking some random person had just left you suspicious food so I was going to leave a note on your door but I mis-wrote my own name and...."

The and hung in the air as the final car crashed into the wreck that was his train of thought. So, with large eyes and no idea what to do next, Tatsuya simply bowed again, holding out his little plate of treats with a soft little ''...Sorry''

[lostxinxavarice]

When Tomorrow Comes

@hellslittleprince -Aster

The next morning came, and there was a gentle... rustling outside of Aster's door, and small whispers. Only one voice and it was intensely, quietly whispering. Then came a small, ceramaic 'clink'.... And A pause. More shuffling and then the sound of paper, and the event feinter sound of a pencil pressing gently against the door.