Give &#x27;em Hell

Here for Wolf. He was here, standing in this weird, cozy flat, facing down one of the first demons in existence, all of his Pup. He was here for Wolf-- But fuck if it wasn't hard not rushing to Ash. There was something in those eyes... Something.. Festering. God, seeing it in Ash, in that avoiding gaze made his blood run white-hot and ice cold all at once. Breaking. Ash was close to breaking because of that... that filth down there. But.. He hadn't yet. No, he was on the edge. But something was keeping him together, really together. He couldn't tell what; hope, connection, spite? But whatever it was... Fuck he hoped more than he should, more than was logical that Ash clung to that, let it pull him through the sludge that Lucifer could put in somebody's soul. He wanted to run to the demon--

But as the First Fallen took a few steps forward, his mind snapped back into the reality of the whole moment. He was unwavering then as he looked to the Wraith, still between the shirtless creature and his Pup, taking in every hushed, rushed breath and little peep of voice behind him.

"You're okay, Pup." He breathed softly, taking a half step backward, just to be closer to his Pup, to try and help ground him in the moment. "You're doing great. One word at a time"

And fucking hell if those little whispers weren't a sign of how things really had shifted. He'd heard horrible things about this Hound- Kal. Hell, he'd nearly drained himself cleaning up the messes this hound left in his wake... But now look at him. Here, with his Croc, whispering soft comforts to him. There were few things that had the balls to look the First Fallen in the eyes. Almost none of them also had balls to spare to stand between the Fallen and another being. Yongsun didn't need an inhale to tell that Ash was right. This Hound cared for his little croc. Deeply. Selflessly.

On paper, that thought maybe should've steeled his reserve even more-- or some shit. But instead, as he was given that little nod, and took very careful, slow steps forwards... it only made deep rubies sting all the more. Because eyes and all.. Wolf was flourishing here.. But fuck just hearing that word. One single word in the pup's voice... Like a tiny arrow punching out the one, weight bearing pebble in a wall, it almost had him crumbling. Eyes stung further and fucking hell if Doyun had been here, he'd be seeing a whole damn light show if he tried looking into Yongsun's own emotions. Lips parted, taking in and letting out a shaky breath that.. smiled in spite of everything.

"H-hey.." He breathed out softly, stopping when he was maybe only two feet away from Wolf, and one foot away from an unflinching Kal. And fuck him, it took every single ounce of bone and muscle in him to keep that stinging back as he got a good, honest look at the other. And he couldn't stop smiling, even as his lips trembled just a little.

"I-I uhm.. Fuck, all this time.. h-hoping for a moment like this and you'd think I would've planned something to say, h-huh?" He breathed out, hands on his hips, head shaking. "I-I'm sorry it.." A lump formed in his throat and it took an annoyingly long time to swallow it down. "Sorry for.. everything... All the shit you uh--.. All the shit you had to go through, Pup. Sorry it took me so damn long to get a track back to you but.." A third lump and a shaken head, a nod for morale, and the Fallen was looking to his Croc again.

"Sol's alive. And safe.. Thanks to you... t'both of you, Ash and I were able to actually find him I just.." A jaw clenched, and a flash of ire glinted in blood-red pools for a moment. "Lucifer..got to Ash.. 'fore I could but.." He breathed out softly, the screams of his--- Of Ash still echoed in his mind. "Iseullie's working on it. And Sol is alright, Pup. Thanks to you he's getting healed up, getting the blood he needs. He's back with Kit to and.."

Stalling....

All this work. All this time. And he was still fucking stalling? Stalling for what? But as he nodded once more, and looking into those eyes, swirling with a different flame that was mostly blue with swirled of black, as he felt that sting in his own eyes, he knew. Fuck, of course he knew.. And there was no getting around it anymore, was there?

"And fuck I missed you, Pup" He finally let the words tremble out from still honestly smiling lips. "The second you vanished... The instant he made up some bullshit reason why our little Croc just disappeared I.. We all knew.. Knew he'd done something but fuck there was no trace. And now? Now I'm here, and s-so're you and.."

This last little pause was the nail in the coffin, the straw on his back. He breathed out a soft, smiling breath, and felt the warm trails slide down either cheek. "Y-you look good, Pup. 'Specially when I..." Words paused and his head shook just twice, "..Didn't know if that face was one I'd get to see again after.. whatever the hell Lucifer did. I gave... I gave Kal,--" Eyes flicked to the Hound, who seemed to be in honest to fuck stunned silence at the tears. "--My word, gave you m-my word. I'm here on your terms, Pup. Won't do a thing you.. you don't want me to.. No tricks. No bullshit. Just me and I..."

One more pause as the Fallen took in, one more time, the sight of the pup. His Pup. Conflicted as hell but alive, and his words pinched in his throat, fighting back the sobs that rose in the back of his throat. His voice came out instead in a shivering whisper. " Fuck I wanna hold you.. i-if you'd.. 'f you're okay with that?"

#m; ash #m; wolf #n0chanxes

Wolf's tension remained in his shoulders at first - it was hard to let go of so many weeks, months even, of believing your family had forgotten about you. Of the heartbreak that accompanied such a thought, nestled within a bed of nonsensical thoughts and revisiting memories for signs that it had been clear all along that they'd never wanted him there in the first place.

Kal had been trying to work with him through it, as he had with most things it seemed, but they were stubborn thoughts and Wolf never saw himself as strong enough to battle them. After all, why battle something he believed to be true?

But... maybe it wasn't true. His fingers had reached, clung to Kal's shirt initially to help ground himself as he watched, listened to the fallen's approach. He wasn't scared, at least not in the way most might expect - he'd never been scared of Yongsun. Not since the day he met him, truly. Foolish, perhaps, but when wasn't he?

The room felt heavy with something he couldn't describe. It wasn't quite a tension, but it felt like it could be cut with a knife regardless. It was like they were all at risk of choking on the air itself, as steps muffled against carpet, the creak of leather as hands went to hips, and the huffs of breath with every word, every stammer and reassurance that Yongsun gave. And what was Wolf giving in return? Not much at all.

He was silent, in fact. But he wasn't reaction-less. Far from it, in fact. It was subtle, the way he began to shift. It was in the way his shoulders shifted down just a few centimetres. The way tear-blurred eyes cleared a little, and the way brows furrowed in an overwhelmed kind of fear of the unknown settled into a curiosity, a worry even.

Yongsun was... was crying? And he'd told him that Sol was alive, and that he hadn't been able to help Ash and-... And Wolf could tell just how much the other was carrying. How much they might be doing the same thing. Blaming themselves, or if not that, holding the weight of everything on their own shoulders when it was not any of their responsibilities in the first place.

He was silent still, stood there just behind Kal. But then that question had come, that plea-... And for all Wolf was damn well worth, how was he supposed to fight that anymore? He didn't rush forward, though. He glanced at Kal first, silent and unreadable, not quite asking for permission but almost checking all the same - before he stepped passed him, putting himself now between Kal and Yongsun, searching over his features.

"Don't cry..." he whispered, despite his own eyes still stinging with the want to shed tears. He reached up, going to catch one that looked as though it was about to drip from his jawline - and while he hadn't reached arms out, this was his attempt at doing that all the same. Taking half a step... just half... because taking the full step himself felt like too much.

Ash was watching the whole thing, all apart from the moment Sunny had told them about Lucifer. His eye had closed, trying not to go back to that moment, trying not to relive it all over again. It was minor, compared to what a lot of people had been through, and it was a sacrifice that had led to this. To this moment, getting to see the man he-... Getting to see Yongsun with Wolf. Getting to see Kal realise that perhaps they were all fighting similar battles, that they all seemingly had each others best interests at heart in the most fucked up of ways.

He'd lose the other eye if it meant everyone getting to know that. Getting to experience that. He'd give a lot more than that, too.

His eye drifted to Kal, to the stunned silence on his face, and a small, barely noticeable smile twitched at his lips. Good.... This was all good.

yonglixx

Felix＜RUN IT SEOUL＞ OFFICIAL MERCH MAKING FILM♡

#m; min

Three. Two. One. He felt the oncoming Pillar before he heard it. His phone buzzed and he looked down at it. Seeing the single thumbs up from Nil who'd volunteered to watch the arrival from afar, just in case, had Kal nodding. Nil couldn't see who it was, but he could confirm with a single 'All good' that it was Ash and only one other being. No Funny business, which meant neither Wolf.. nor Kal could hide behind their many layers of security.

"You got this, Pup" He breathed softly, smiling back at his Pup, a hand rising, brushing over his cheek. "I'm here for you. No matter what, yeah?" And with that, he sent Nil the text, Nil waved the door open, the ward fully ecompassing the space--- And Kal's blood ran cold.

Candlewick eyes went wide as Ash walked in with the First fucking Fallen behind him. Though he guessed it made sense. Nothing else down there would be strong... and headstrong enough to actually go head to head with Lucifer himself. But that wasn't... That wasn't what he cared about in all this. The eye patch. Ash. Panic. Pain. And anger ripped through him. Senseless and white-hot. Lips parted to ask, to check---- And he would.. After his Pup was okay. For now he swallowed at met Ash's eyes------ His.. His eye. Searching for a sign he was okay, if there was anything he could.. could do..

"Waddup, my favourite trio! I come bearing a gift! Well, kind of a gift..."

"Well fuck me aren't you a little terror?!"

"Nixxie? I think you've got your answer, hm?"

"Hi...I'm... not quite right too"

Like a fucking flash grenade, it all came rushing back. That first night down in hell when Nix had waltzed in, bleeding like a mother-fucker, a tiny pup trailing behind him, playing with his own embers. Fuck everything was so... different then. Even the memories of that time felt lighter. Then came the things that followed. Wolf injured with Doyun in an attack. Given Form. Wolf coming back, cradled in Yang's hold, arm crushed, sobbing over and over again 'I tried, I tired, I'm sorry'... And then more. Weeks passing. Wolf looked so.. on edge, so pale and tired. Now.. Fucking hell now look at him.. He looked... Terrified, yeah, but he was damn near vibrant. Longer hair, a healthier shade of skin. He'd put on muscle too, in his time away.

Lips felt... dry. That wasn't really physically possible. But so did his throat for a moment as his lips parted and god, for once in a million years, his mind went a little blank. He swallowed dryly and felt his eyes.. sting, just a little. And in spite of everything, he smiled, voice softer, shakier than he would've guessed it'd be, almost like even his lips didn't think he'd get to say these words again.

"H...Hey Croc... Mind... Mind if we come in?"

#m; ash #m; wolf #n0chanxes

It was arguably cruel, for Ash to turn up here without warning of what Kal and Wolf could expect - not only his eye, but of who he had brought with him. Because he knew Yongsun was one that so many feared. That he was a being so many knew to be dangerous, incredibly strong, and took what he wanted with no apology.

Ash had been learning more about the other sides of him as of late. The side that would fight unflinchingly for those he cared about. Who would go face to face with one of the few beings who might be stronger than him, for the sake of those weaker who could not do it themselves. Who had had sleepless nights over the pup that stood before them now, looking all the better for having escaped the sinking ship that was Hell.

Ash was no fool, though. He knew the look Kal was giving him was not because of Yongsun. But he was not ready to talk about it, or to confess. He'd been ignoring his own injury for so long now, trying to pretend it hadn't happened - that the disorienting existence he'd been living now he could only see from one wasn't giving him motion sickness each time he tried to even get out of bed. Or pretending that he didn't cry at night sometimes - often, really - for what had been lost, for the fear that, despite Iseul's best efforts, he might never get it back.

For the knowledge that, if he did not get it back, he would not be able to protect those he swore to protect. Not Squirt, or Koong. Not Kal, not Wolf...

Wolf, who was now looking between him and Yongsun with eyes such a unique, striking hue but that were as expressive as he remembered them. This little thing... who could not hide an emotion if he tried. Who felt so deeply, so loudly, but had been pushed and prodded and tortured into keeping those emotions quiet. Keeping himself quiet.

The moment they had stepped in, Wolf's entire being seemed to just pause. He truly should've known. He was foolish not to realise, not to know that it would be Yongsun. Yongsun, who'd had chunks taken out of him at Wolf's teeth and laughed through it. Yongsun, who Wolf had looked up to, had followed around with tail wagging as a hound, or eyes bright as a human form.

Yongsun, who fought for everyone despite the fact he could've wiped his hands of all of them and lived a free, untouched life.

Wolf's eyes were stinging, and was the world blurring? Tilting?

It was overwhelming, the cacophony of emotion and noise in his head in that moment. The fear, that he was here to drag Wolf back. The relief, that he was here at all and wasn't looking at him with anger and disgust. The pain at seeing Ash with that patch over his eye and knowing what that meant. Knowing that things had only gotten worse. His breathing was starting to hitch, to speed up... And then came the that voice. That nickname...

Hey croc...

Wolf whimpered just a little, but he was nodding his permission, still hovering likely too close to Kal. And really, he should've said something, but it was taking all of his concentration not to run - either right into Yongsun's arms, or right out of the apartment.

He did, despite it all, manage a soft "Hi..."

Wasn't it just... the fuckin weirdest, most perfect thing? This tense, weighty setting. An important meeting and a nauseating build up.. And a head, nestling against his chest was all it took to bring a smile to his lips? Just his pup, needing something from him, doing something to comfort himself.. All without asking or apologizing? Fucking hell that alone spoke volumes. Those stunning eyes, sun-kissed skin, long strands that curled just slightly at the ends? Wolf. Living. It was everything. It was one moment out of millions that solidified what Kal had known to be true the second he saw Wolf curled up in that warehouse, the second he felt the flames in the pup shift. He'd do anything to keep his pup safe and happy. In this case, that meant sitting in Nil's flat, about to be face to face with somebody strong. An enemy in any other context. But not this one.

"45 seconds.." He whispered softly, holding his pup all the closer, eyes towards the door. The hairs on the back of his neck stood a little- a nice little feature of this particular ward. He could tell that somebody was setting up a Plume to come to this location. And in this case, he could even tell that it was Ash.

"Twenty... " He whispered softly and leaned down, lips brushing against the shell of his ear, "Remember, Pup. I'm here. I'm here for you. No matter what"

----*--------*--------*--------*--------*--------*--------*--------*--------*---

He... Wasn't. That was a question, easy as sinning to answer. As he, one of the strongest beings in any realm, stood there, gentle fingers smoothing over the open leather of another jacket, Yongsun swore he felt the pit of his stomach begin to eat itself.

All these months. All the lies. The games, the pain. All of Firsts fucked up little tinkering. Finally, fucking finally something was coming of it.. And he was fucking petrified. But no.. No his little Croc needed him to be something other than weak right now..

That gentle voice had soft rubies flicking up, meeting eyes--- A-an eye that was now brown, but he knew was once a stunning topaz. And selfish thing he so proudly fought to be, he leaned in, stealing the smallest peck to get that gaze up.

"Am I ready? Fuck no" He breathed out with a weak smile as the words brushed against Ash's lips. But he took a deep inhale, his own hands smoothing over Ash's top.

"But I've never been one to not do something just cus I'm scared fuckless, have I?" Keen eyes flicked up to a clock. One Minute now. They'd have to get going, Pillars to warded areas tended to take a few more seconds than normal to cast, and he wouldn't make his Croc wait any longer than he'd been forced to.

"If Kal takes your safety as seriously as I have a feeling he does now.." He motioned to the eye patch. "You need to be ready for him to take this.. pretty hard. I don't know what you did to help him simmer down all those weeks back just... Be ready to have to do that again..."

"Aside from that? I remember what we talked about. I'll.. follow your lead... Wait for the sign it's okay to approach if... If Wolf wants me to. The place is warded so neither of us could even figure out the location if we wanted to and...." A deep sigh brought his forehead against Ash's.

"And I'm fucking stalling. We've got 25 seconds so.." He forced out a breath and tried a smile as a brow arched. "Better get going, huh?"

#m; ash #m; wolf #n0chanxes

Ash listened, as he always did, his head just slightly tilted as let the other stall just a little longer. Sometimes it was a necessary evil, a way to try and get some of the frantic energy out before they dared approach the situation at hand. And it was going to be a delicate one - there were so many factors at play here, so many things that could go wrong, or change things completely.

No one had seen Wolf, no one knew what he was like now. Ash trusted that Kal had the pup's best interests at heart and that they often agreed on what that meant, but he didn't truly know what that meant. It could be better. It could be worse. He expected the former, given how poor Wolf had looked prior to his disappearance, but there really was no true way of knowing until they were there.

And of course, Yongsun was right - there was his eye, too. A confession he had not made to Kal when he'd sent word about their meeting.

Ash had considered not coming, but there was that pull in his chest that had been there since he and Yongsun had connected all that time ago - a pull to protect him, to be there for him, to just... exist in his space in case he was needed. To make sure he wasn't going through this alone.

"It'll be okay. Whatever happens, we just need to remember that he is alive, and he is safe, and his agreement to meet us is a good sign, okay?" He offered, smiling and leaning for one more soft kiss, this one lingering just a little longer, as the seconds ticked down. "Come on, let's go."

------

The seconds were rushing by and Wolf could feel his heart getting more and more uneven with every passing one. He swallowed - inhaled, exhaled, inhaled again. He counted down those seconds. Right up until there were just a few left.

5... He lifted his head, swallowing back his nerves.

4... He inhaled, and he exhaled.

3... He rolled his shoulders back, straightening himself up.

2... Another inhale, and his fear melted into something careful neutral. What would be would be.

1... He looked over at the door right as he heard the roar of the plume outside, and then stepped just a little bit back from Kal, letting him take the lead initially. Wolf still didn't know who it was that was coming, and he wasn't strong enough yet to take the first step.

Ash, on the other side of the door now, looked up at Yongsun one more time. He said nothing, but a hand found his, squeezing reassuringly, before he let it drop so he could knock on the unwarded door for them to enter.

asavagesong

@n0chanxes

The days leading up to this had been long, and too quick all at once. They were filled with ups and downs, with poor Kal certainly going through it with the young pup who didn't seem to know how to feel or how to express it at any one time. It had taken longer than he'd thought - they'd caught wind that something had happened in Hell, that Ash had been through something that meant messages were not easily passed, but... here they were.

Somehow, after all of that time, here they were.

At least, here Wolf and Kal were. Wolf had asked to be here early. He'd asked if they could go to the agreed spot around 15 minutes early so he could learn the area, or more specifically calm himself down before anyone arrived. Still it rushed around in his head - who could it be? Was it Yang, or had he forgotten Wolf already? Was it Nix, ready to burn everything down? Doyun, with his warm eyes and warmer heart?

There were plenty of possibilities, he knew, and all of them terrified him mostly because he had no idea what to expect. Would they be mad at him? Betrayed that he’d left seemingly without a fight? Or worse would they cry? Would they look at him like a long lost son and make him crack all the way down the middle?

“How long do we have?” Wolf whispered, though despite that whisper, physically he was agitated. He was pacing back and forth, bouncing on his feet, not at all calmer for being there early. “Are you sure he didn’t tell you who it was? What if they’re mad at me? What if they hate me?”

So things had.. somehow become even more of a little shit-show in the weeks that'd followed his first talk with Ash. That was... honestly Kal might've found it impressive if those whispers didn't involve Ash... Ash being.. Hurt.. Somehow. And this was wone of those moments.. Those moments when his deal with his Saviour echoed in his mind. He'd been offered numbness, promised it. And he'd rejected it to feel most of the times. It was moments like that, moments of bone chilling worry that the little knife was almost tempted to flip that switch. But no.. No Wolf and Ash deserved better than that kind of weakness. But messages were still getting through. And he could.. tell.. from that odd little spot on his forehead that Ash was still alive. He paid attention to that know. So much. Maybe too much. Because the moment that feeling went away, he had a promise to keep, and two hounds in particular that he needed to help save.

This being, whoever the hell it was, knew that promise too. Ash had apparently told them because Kal had figured that.. Maybe those two little hounds would also be this being's worry too. But right now, he needed to focus on the hound he had saved, the one that needed him to thoroughly right now.

"Breathe, Pup" The words eased out from gently, warmly smiling lips. He'd stood, carefully cupping those cheeks, looking into those eyes that swam with beautiful blues and blacks now. God, he'd come so, so far. And for extra measure, he brought their foreheads to press after placing both of Wolf's hands against Kal's own chest.

"He didn't say. And I have.. a pretty strong feeling that they will not hate you, Pup. Somebody wouldn't go toe to toe with Lucifer just to get in the same room with somebody they have negative feelings about. And no matter what happens?" He gently nudged their noses together, silently asking for some more eye contact as he smiled, a hand brushing through lively, long strands.

"I'm here. No matter what, I'll be here for you. And Nil is close by, just a thought away if for whatever reason, we do need a hand. But I don't think it'll come to that. In five minutes, there will be a Plume right outside that door. I'll drop the ward to let them in the door, and it'll hold them there until you give me the go-ahead to let them take a step inside. Just like we practiced, okay, Pup? Can I get you anything, do anything for you till then?"

Wolf really had gone a long way since it all crumbled around him, he just wasn’t sure what their unknown visitor was going to think of it all. It had taken Wolf quite some time to get used to his eyes now, not because he hated them being this new colour but because it was different. Because it had taken a long time for him to get used to a human form and longer still for him to learn his own features. And then they’d changed.

Longer hair, skin that had warmed in tone some since being in the sun - granted it had mostly been sun through open windows at Kal’s apartment but he’d started to go out too, though not often on his own. It was something they were working on. Trying to stop him being so clingy… Kal hadn’t worded it that way of course, but Wolf was fearful that he thought it all the same.

And now… now, he shouldn’t be doing this. Freaking out, making Kal stay to see people he might hate. He gave him the gently asked for the contact, at least for as long as he could with all that restless energy in his chest.

But when he was offered for Kal to do anything to help him, Wolf wordlessly moved his head from Kal’s forehead, to his shoulder, head nestling against his chest instead to listen to his heartbeat.

This. Just this was… calming. Hearing his head beating way, his breathing settling a little with each passing moment. He hadn’t used his words this time - they were too difficult. He only hoped this was enough.

“How many minutes?” He whispered, as though he hadn’t been counting the seconds with Kal’s heartbeat, hadn’t been playing over what he’d said, the reassurances he’d given all the while. He knew it was only a minute by the time he’d asked, that any moment really their guest would be there. He wondered if Ash would be coming…

Ash, who was plumes away with Yongsun, stood before him and searching his features. His damaged but oh so slowly healing eye was covered with a bandage, mostly so neither Wolf, nor Kal, or quite frankly Sunny, had to look at the mess that remained there at that moment. That didn't stop his good, remaining eye, from watching for any sign that Yongsun was having second thoughts, or might be nervous.

His hands brushed against the other's shirt, knocking way non-existent dust and inhaling a breath, "Kal will be there. That was one of Wolf's conditions. The place we're going to, it... it's not for us to share the location with anyone else. Its warded, but Kal will let us through. I imagine he can kick us out just as easily, so we just need to bear that in mind."

His voice was soft - it had been softer, and heard less and less, since the incident. Like it wasn't just his eye that had been damaged, but a crucial part of him. It was another thing slowly healing, though it seemed to be putting up more of a fight. It wasn't just cells that Iseul could put back together, after all. "I'll be there the whole time, if you want me to be. You ready?"

Well, he couldn't exactly he surprised that he'd been found out- Ash wasn't as ancient as he was according to First, at least, but he'd been here, been around a good number of years. Probably a good few human lifetimes, if Yongsun had to guess based on what little they knew. So no, he wasn't shocked when Ash had picked up on... something. That little moment of a hint of a thought of a possibility. But the fact that Ash hadn't read any of that as terror, horror, worry, or even that little sprinkling on malice, meant Yongsun had at least done enough to mask the spilt second thought.

"It's..." A head tilted in thought, but he made better use of himself by tilting his head back in a little more, giving the other a long string of nibbles against his jaw, some softer, some more gentle.

"A possible lead. But it's the kind that I need to do some more digging on before speaking on it. Best way to keep as many as I care about" One particularly lingering nibble, "Safe as possible. Hell, I don't even know how to go about fleshing out this thought. But if I do, you'll be the first to know. I'm not one for keeping secrets, I think you know that pretty well at this point. But when even rumors can get people disappeared, I need to pretty damn sure the shit I say isn't just a hunch"

It frustrated Ash a little that Yongsun wasn't going to tell him what he was thinking, especially if it related to him, but he also understood. He understood that keeping certain things under wraps while the details hung uncertainly in the balance was often the smart thing to do in the world and life they currently lived, but it still unsettled him a little. What could Yongsun be thinking, if it might put people at risk? Maybe put him at risk? Surely it couldn't be anything that bad?

Each nibble to his jaw, however, was certainly easing the sting of it all, his eyelids fluttering, their yellow hue seemingly there to stay for a while, even glowing a little brighter when a shiver ran down his spine and broke across his skin in a million little fireworks. He could've easily melted into him again, practically was really.

Ash could see why so many people succumbed to this man. Even he was here, willing to hand himself over on a silver platter for Yongsun's use and disposal if he so chose. The way he was so gently nibbling his jaw, however, did not suggest he planned to dispose of Ash anytime soon.

Dare he say it, it even seemed tender. Like perhaps this wasn't just two people clinging onto physical contact because the rest of their lives seemed to be crumbling around them. That perhaps there was something deeper set than that, that maybe it was something worth fighting for as much as any of their other causes and catalysts.

"I… Okay. I trust you," he murmured, and it was the truth, his fingers tracing patterns over Yongsun's skin, blunt nails sometimes scraping over that warm skin at a particularly sensitive spot, "But… Don't do anything rash, hm? It's not that important right now, yeah? It's just an eye colour. I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation." Though as he said it, even he knew it was probably bullshit. "At least we know what can trigger it now."

That same brow rose maybe ten times higher, watching the reaction unfold. Truth be told, when he started the casual compliments, he sure as shit didn't expect this reaction. Bashfulness looked good on Ash. But this? Well it didn't take a genius or even a Wraith to know what honest to fuck shock looked like on someone. But this wasn't just shock, was it? No there were darker, deeper notes to this taste, and that had brows pinching just slightly.

"Ash...?" The low voice asked gently, leaning into the image with a tilt of his head, keen reds looking back over to the real thing beside him. A hand was thoughtlessly at Ash's cheek- more for comfort than anything else. And tense as the moment was- he had to hold back a single chuckle- They'd come a long way from Yongsun holding Ash against the wall by his throat and threatening to eat him alive-- No, now here he was, gently [and softly] nibbling at Ash's jaw in an attempt to get his attention.

"I... What's wrong? You look like.. and sound and taste like you honest to fuck didn't know your eyes could be this colour? How... How is that possible?"

Yongsun was lucky he was who he was - because Ash didn’t do well with physical touch when he was in a panic. But then again, he’d already proven himself the exception to so many of Ash’s rules and expectations. Those topaz eyes fluttered at the nibble to his jaw, seemingly not immune to the others attempts even with the concoction of emotion flooding through him.

Gods, this day…

“I didn’t…” he admitted on an exhale, letting the mirror settle back against the blanket. Even as eyelids fluttered further, as his body seemed in a weird complex mix of pure satiation after what they’d done and a kind of fight or flight at this new discovery, he found himself seeking out the red irises he’d grown to trust more than most.

“They don’t-… I’ve never seen them turn this colour in all my years, and there’s been a lot of them.” He admitted, swallowing, “I don’t even know-… what even has this colour eyes? Lucifer told me I was a demon, I-… I know I don’t remember my life before but that’s normal. Most people don’t after this long.”

Not for nothing, he guessed. If the hint of a smirk was any indication, he'd so happily caught that little hint of a shiver before letting the other settle back against him. Brows knit as he looked into that stunning set to topaz before him. He was about to part his lips to offer... something. But Ash said something, a passing comment, a rhetorical question that had all the gears in his mind grinding to a halt.

'What even has this colour eyes?'

Thank fuck for having so many countless millennia to practice how to manage [at least externally] emotions. Because that single thought, for the smallest second, made his blood run ice cold. It was just a hunch. A hint of a thought of an inkling of any idea. But fuck just that much almost made him queasy. And the Wraith, rather notoriously, had the strongest stomach in nearly any realm. But this thought, the hunch that he so fucking dearly hoped he was wrong about was almost enough to make him hurl at the implications alone. But no.. No, as of right now there wasn't even a clue to substantiate that. And he wasn't about to go sowing more chaos in this godforsaken place.

So for now, Sunny breathed softly, and stole a long, lingering, gentle kiss. A little mental pallet cleanser.

"Can't say for sure" He sighed softly, looking the entirety of Ash over- and not just his eyes. And when he was done ogling, a hand rent up, fingers tracing over Ash's jaw, gaze warm and tender.

"But we'll figure it out, Ash. Just might take some time"

Ash didn't have Yongsun's penchant for tasting emotion or picking out what others were thinking, at least not in the same way. He'd always been able to see those who were struggling, who needed the extra support and help, even if they had grown so expert at hiding it that most wouldn't take a second glance. So no, he didn't quite understand why Sunny looked so pensive for a moment, or at least had turned his features into a carefully neutral expression, but he could tell it at least meant he was thinking something.

But... he was also right. It was going to take time to work it out, because they didn't have time right now to be worrying about a silly little eye colour and whatever that meant for Ash. It was minor. Not important in the grand scheme of everything going on, and he knew that.

The panic, the unease in his chest at seeing it, at knowing it likely meant something was being kept from him? He could... ignore that. He could bottle that for a while. It was made easier by the lingering kiss, the fingers brushing across his face, the gentle heartbeat he was hearing under his ear as nestled against the other's chest.

Something about the fallen beside him calmed him, and he almost didn't want to question why. Not when he could have this good thing, at least for as long as the other was willing, and not have to have a logical reason for it. Maybe they both just... needed each other.

"Have you ever made someone feel so good you gave them a whole new eye colour before? Because I could be your first," he laughed nervously, a little to try and lighten his own mind again. And oh, how he did not want to ruin their quiet, peaceful moments, but... "What were you thinking? Just now? You paused."

"I... What's wrong? You look like.. and sound and taste like you honest to fuck didn't know your eyes could be this colour? How... How is that possible?"

Gods, this day…

He.. should've questioned it. How it all had felt so... Just.. Like they.. fit. It was true, He Who Devours had laid with plenty. Hell, some of the better ones even walked away with their lives, none the wiser that their existence had been in the balance for the night. But still, Yongsun had fallen for a lot of things; wasting his time on sub-par experiences hadn't been one of them. He showed others a good time, had a good time..

But this had been so much more than that. And for the fucking life of him, he couldn't put his finger on why. Even weirder? He didn't.. much care too. He was too.. just... content.. with everything in the moment. It'd been no secret, his want for the other from the very second he knew Ash was on his side in this. The second he'd had a little taste of that blood, so sweet it could've glittered. So no, he didn't care to think on it too much. He'd just bask in the moment. That was a much better use of his time.

"Brown?" He puffed out a chuckle, eternally well kept brow arching upwards as he looked down at those dazzling gems. But a few heartbeats lingering on that gaze, that honest, gentle confusion, told him the other was.. being serious...

A glance to the nightstand on the other side of the room, and a small Pillar had it in his hand, showing the other and himself. "Ash you.." He breathed out, still smiling, looking at their reflection, basking again, but this time basking in how even their frames seemed to just.. fit. "You've got some of the most stunning paid of topazes I've ever seen."

#m; ash #n0chanxes #//ah yes ash eloquent as always

Ash didn't look at the mirror immediately. His eyes were on Yongsun, a strange sort of anxiety, or fear perhaps, creeping up his throat. He'd never known, truly, what he was. Lucifer had waved a hand and told him he was a demon who's powers were limited. That he'd been given the job he had because he was more resilient to Hellhound bites or fire but did not have the power needed to be much else. And Ash had believed him, for a long while.

Looking at that mirror might tell him he'd been lied to all this time, even though he'd already known it was a distinct possibility. Ash was nothing special, but he fought hard to be a light in all this dark for so many people, and the thought that there could be something else, or something wrong it... it closed his throat up.

He swallowed, finally turning to the mirror, and his breath hitched in his throat. A hand immediately rose to his face, pressed at the skin under his eyes. He didn't even get a chance to admire how well fucked he looked, because that... that wasn't him. There was no way that was him. His eyes weren't yellow, or topaz, or whatever unique colour was being shone back at him.

"I-... no, that's not-..." He didn't know what to say. Because that was him. He knew the mirror, he knew it was a normal mirror, no tricks, but it wasn't him. His eyes were a normal, muddy brown, with little creases between with all the worry in his life and sometimes they looked more golden if the light hit them just right, but never this. He sat up a little, bringing his face closer to the mirror, as though the angle would change what he was seeing, but it didn't.

"What the fuck..."

Kal let the light, innocent care of the question brighten his smile slightly as he walked over. A hand rested on Wolf's cheek, lips pressing a gentle little kiss to the top of Wolf's head. "Not anymore. I've been fully zipped up for a week or so. But thank you for asking... And".. Lips lingered open, only to part with a sigh and a nod.

"I think.. you're right about that though, Pup, about Big Brother... Back then... Things were different. More feral, more intense, but also more free because of it. I know there were others... maybe a handful, who did manage to escape. Some figured out that a certain... speed of heartrate wouldn't get you dragged back. Luck of the draw mostly. Had to be low enough that you could be considered dead, but just there enough to keep your heart going, keep the healing going. Cus even back then, we knew what breaking felt like."

Light Killer though.. He'd been broken too. He carried those scars different, though. And the way Wolf's words seemed to catch in his throat... Oh Brother... Why had Kal been to weak to save even him back then? But no.. Those were thoughts that would do no good now. Not when his pup was here, trying even now to give Kal comfort. Hands cupped cheeks but didn't force those eyes to meet his; that ball was in Kal's court. He stood there and smiled all the same, thumbs brushing over warm cheeks as steam rose to the ceiling.

"But enough of my baggage for now. Ready to get washed up, Pup? Nil picked up a new lotion today, said we might like the scent."

As Kal was learning some of Wolf's tells, Wolf was learning some of Kal's too. He was harder to read sometimes, purely because Wolf was more of an open book being so early in his shifting journey, in a lot of ways. Or maybe he was just a little weak, not able to hide things as much. Poker face was not a phrase that could ever be used to describe anything Wolf did. But he'd picked up some of Kal's... and he could tell, somehow, that the other was done with the conversation, that he should drop it.

Not in anger, no, but perhaps it was... too heavy. Much like Wolf's own reaction to this day, to what he'd learned. It was all too heavy.

Perhaps the wash would help wash some of that weight away for them both.

He nodded a little in reply, his eyes having met Kal's for a moment. It was a small moment, but it was a moment still, if only to search for proof he was okay. But then he was pursing his lips a bit at the mention of Nil and new lotion. To this day, Wolf was always weirdly split down the middle in relation to Nil. He both fascinated and scared him. Terrified and awed him. It was like Wolf wanted to impress him, to prove himself as being worthy of even being there, while equally being terrified that he might one day decide to just finish him off, kill him and tell Kal it had been a freak accident. He wondered what might happen if Fang or Nil told Kal they didn't want Wolf around anymore...

He was the newbie, the interloper, the reason the two of them hadn't seen Kal as much lately and that couldn't be siting right with them.

"What does it smell like?" he asked as he got up onto hesitant legs, wriggling with his trousers and underwear to get out of them, chewing his lip a touch as he put them in the hamper too. "

Like Wolf very likely expected, that soft little peep of a reply had earned him a sunshine warm, cashmere soft smile as they made their way easily to the bathroom. After Wolf was settled, Kal peeled away however reluctantly to set up the bath and grab the sponges, robes, and scents the other had wanted. He was halfway to grabbing the hair gel-- When that question had his hand stop in mid-air, like somebody had pressed a pause button on real life.

Kal lingered, but he didn't tremble or shake. All he did was exhale softly with a warm, heavy smile on his lips as he grabbed the bottle, setting it on the edge.

"Without a doubt" He breathed out gently, kneeling by the tub and setting the water temperature. As steam began to fill the expansive space, Kal stood, pulled off his shirt with no fanfare, tossing the article into the bin near the door as he turned to Wolf. That same, heavy smile persisted, dragging his gaze towards the floor.

"I'd like to just... Know... them, I think. He's so different now, so muted.. Like a.. vague idea of who he was back then. Light Killer, too.. If this ended..." His head tilted a little, looking still at the ground, like he was trying to figure out where Brother was down there.

"Or even if they.. finally understood, finally saw what he's doing to them, to all of them... I'd like to know them all, protect them all..." An idle hand rose, fingers tracing over the scar on his face, smile a touch heavier still even as he smiled back to his Pup. "But I don't think Big Brother has any interest in knowing me. I've sat with that before. That knowledge. I doubt it'll ever really.. sit good in my chest.. That night he saw me again, Pup.." Pain. He felt it in those memories, knew it tainted his gaze as well.

"He doesn't see me in this shell anymore, Pup...Even if this is the most me I've ever been.. But I think that's something I just have to accept"

Wolf wasnt sure he would ever get used to seeing the scar on Kal's chest - not so much the Y-shaped one, though that did pain him to know he'd been through so much, but the remnants of their first meeting. When he'd been moments away from putting Wolf out of his misery before Yang had shown up. Sometimes Wolf wondered if perhaps it might've been better if he hadn't - if Kal had managed to get rid of him before anyone could save him.

It probably would've solved a lot. But he supposed it also would've stopped a lot from happening too. Though maybe someone else would've found Sol. And Kal would be happy with Fang without worrying about whether Wolf wanted to see him or not. And Yang...

His eyes stung a moment again at the thought of him. Of the safety net he'd found, of hours spent talking and watching documentaries and having someone that felt as lost in Hell as he did sometimes. Maybe he was the one looking for him? But something told him he wasn't. He wouldn't necessarily go up against Lucifer, not with Nix so close too. Did Yang even care he was gone? Was he one of those that had swallowed Lucifer's lies and believed every syllable?

He was spiralling again, and after he'd asked such an important question - and so he shook himself out of it again, inhaling, exhaling... and pulled eyes up from those scars, instead slowly trying to shimmy arms out of the long sleeves of his top, his own scars plentiful but none quite so big. Mostly it was claw marks, but there were a series of puncture scars along his side in a perfect semi-circle, mimicked on the back - teeth marks. They were the ones that had driven Wolf to run away in the first place.

He inhaled again, clearly not centred enough, and instead focused on the other's words, on wanting to reassure him, or offer some kind of comfort.

"I-I think... I think maybe Lucifer killed him more than any of us," Wolf murmured quietly, "I didn't know him before and... and I didn't know him much now either. He's busy all the time and... and I know Lucifer keeps him close to Minnie at all times. But I think... I think maybe he broke too. He just maybe poured cement into the gaps so he wouldn't crumble even if it means he's not himself anymore..."

But what did he truly know? Bo had known about Sol. He'd known, and hadn't told a soul. Maybe he was as rotten as Lucifer now. "Sha misses you, I think... I dont know him very well either and h-he's... he's been..." He didn't finish that, instead finally wrestling his way out of his shirt and chucking it towards the hamper, "But I think he misses you."

His eyes dropped to that scar again, and he knew Kal knew Wolf felt a world of guilt about that too - what was new there? "Does it hurt anymore?" he whispered then, glancing up at his face now.

And just like with almost all those other little signs and tells, Kal knew what that small nuzzle close meant too. It'd made him smile even wider. Wolf.... Did he know? Did he have any clue that the small motion alone was exactly the kind of thing Kal was so intensely proud of him for? Boundaries. His own little boundaries popped up now, here and there. Whenever it felt needed and normal. And not a single whispered apology or tensing up. Just his pup, letting him know however he could, what he needed.

Strong arms held his pup impossibly close, tears still trailing over smiling lips as he listened and.. Damn. He could tell Ash seemed a solid being from the talk- The demon was sporting a patch of Kal's own tears on his shirt now, and he'd done so willingly. He'd talked about the other hounds so passionately. And hearing this.. Hearing that Ash had done so much for his Pup.. Wolf likely didn't know how much pull his words had with the Reforged hound. But hearing those details was truly all Kal needed to hear to know that this demon had his full trust. He just hoped the poor bastard lasted long, carrying his scent into back into the Pit..

But those thoughts could weigh him down later. He knew what to do, if anything did happen and he could feel if that particular light got snuffed out. Koong and Squirt. With him and safe. Ash's actions alone had earned not just his respect, but his loyalty.

For now though, he had a pup to hold. And hold he did, with a smile as he nose nuzzled against the shell of his ear, smiling lips brushing against the skin.

"Of course, Pup. You don't have to explain if you can't or don't want to. You've let me know what you need, and I'm always happy to give you that." Without a moment of hesitation, Kal held his pup close and stood easily, walking towards their bathroom. "Do you know which scents you wanna use pup? I think you tried out the lavender last time, right?"

One thing Wolf had always been quietly thankful for with Kal, is that he rarely asked for explanations or reasons. If Wolf wanted something, or said no to something, he didn't ask him why, unless it was a genuine curiosity about why he didn't like something so he could help him find an alternative, or sometimes, if Wolf was just scared, Kal might ask him what was scaring him, so he could help him see why something wasn't so scary after all.

But generally, he didn't. Generally, he did this - he helped him. Or he stopped if Wolf had asked for that. Or he ordered different scents for the shower or bath when Wolf had said the strange mint one they'd bought the last week made his nose tingle and his skin itch. Or he changed the noodles they bought when Wolf wasnt sure on their texture. They were small things in some people's eyes, but for Wolf? For Wolf, they were everything.

"Can we use the... the white one?" He asked, "Cash-... cashmere? It's more gentle," he asked. It was one of his favourites. It smelled... warm. That was all he could describe it as. And his skin always felt nice after.

In the bathroom, he did finally release Kal, settling himself down to sit on the toilet lid at first, trying to pull himself back together, at least a little. Kal deserved better than him being a useless, sobbing mess after all. He deserved words, and effort, and while he knew the other would never expect him to bottle feelings up - very much opposed it, in fact - he felt like he needed to be good and-

He was spiralling a little again. He sniffled, rubbing at his face once more before trying to turn to his clothes to start undressing. He did hesitate a moment though, a thoughtful kind of look mixing in with the tears, "If... If this all stopped... Would... Would you want to know them again?" He asked after a beat. He knew - or hoped, at least - that he didn't have to specify who.

How was it, Wolf wondered, that Kal could’ve been through so much in his life and still knew exactly what to say to comfort him? To bring him down from panic and devastation? Time after time he’d wanted to shift, to become the physical he’d been trying so hard to move away from since he was forced to leave home, simply because emotions felt more black and white in that form.

As a hound, it was good or it was bad. He wasn’t expected to try and work through this weird concoction, this storm that made no sense and he wasn’t sure would ever stop. He knew why people fought for the ability to have this, he could see why the fallen had done what they did - at least when he felt happy - but to feel such pain, such panic… was that truly worth it?

He was still hiccuping, little sobs still trying to push through as he curled up in Kal’s lap, but at least with his arms around him he felt less like he was going to implode. It almost felt like he was holding him together by sheer force of will and warm, strong arms. All this progress and Wolf wasn’t sure he hadn’t just taken a million leaps back, feeling like the scared little thing that had been banished from Hell in the first place.

“But he’s- I don’t know how we do that. People could die if we try and can’t do it a-and, and it’s still P-prince Minnie’s dad a-and I… if I c-could sacrifice everything to save all of you I would but I don’t think that would work either and I don’t know what to do.”

The panic was still there in his chest, like a bubble that just kept expanding, stealing more and more of his breath with every attempt to inhale. It was like there was a pressure on his lungs that only increased any time he thought about someone he loved dying because he hadn’t been strong enough to stop lucifer the second he’d found about everything and-…

That was one thing he’d never said out loud, wasn’t it? How much guilt he carried, knowing that, while he’d tried to keep the prisoner alive and tried to confront lucifer, he hadn’t… told anyone. If he’d told someone, if he’d told *Ash* even, as soon as he’d found out…

Everyone had suffered so much because of him.

His face screwed up again, and he had to look away from Kal, that shame making him tremble even more. “I-I t-trust you,” he whispered though, the truth even if he wasn’t sure he could do the rest. Food and showers and movement at all felt like too much.

"Good boy," He gentle coo fell from just slightly trembling lips in a smiling breath. And he did give Wolf that moment, fingers carding slowly through his hair. A few heartbeats of looking away before the hand at his cheek so, so carefully tilted it back so their eyes, both dewy in their own rights, could meet.

"I know those eyes..." Those words, the same exact ones he'd breathed out all those weeks ago, looking upon a frail, quaking frame, taking refuge from the pouring rain and crushing betrayal. I won't fail you again. "Because I've had these eyes before, Pup. And if you trust me? I need to you listen to me when I say this is not your fault. The fucked up things the Morningstar does are his actions alone. He gets away with so, so much just by being what he is. Don't let him push the weight of his sins onto your shoulders, Pup. You, no matter what that acidic little voice in the back of your head, the one that sounds like his lies, tells you"

He took in a soft breath, though it turned into a light sniffle about halfway through as a thumb brushed at that cheek over and over and over.

"You don't blame me... for dying like I did, do you?" He asked softly, knowing eyes, 'wrong' eyes in the minds of so many, eyes that his pup looked into unflinchingly, warmly. "You don't blame me dying on my weakness? My failure to protect my pack against impossible odds, do you? I certainly don't. I did the best that I could with the nightmare I was thrown into. I saved who I could even though it cost me. So did you, Wolf. You found him- Sol. You kept him going long enough. And when I found you, do you remember the very first thing you said to me?" He asked with a gently tilted head and a soft smile.

"You pleaded for me to help him. And because of you, Ash knows and is going to make sure Sol is okay. I---" He paused, thinking back to that being, the hug, the love in his eyes. "I don't know much about that one. But I can tell he gets shit done. I know Sol will be okay. And that's thanks to you, Love" He whispered out thoughtlessly.

"We don't get to choose our circumstances, but we do get to grow from them. I know you don't feel it now, but that's what you're doing. Everyday you wake up, choose what to eat, what to wear. Choose to see Fang or not, to take a walk. Those are all things you fought for, Pup. When your brain settles a little, I want you to bask in that, because I know how hard it was to get there. Whatever comes next? We'll figure it out. And we'll do that together... 'Kay?"

Wolf’s lip was still trembling but he found himself nodding at what Kal said - how could he not? It all made logical sense, even if emotionally he wasn’t sure he was ever going to feel whole again. Everytime his mind drifted, trying to work out who might be looking for him, it only had his chest tighten and his stomach clench uncomfortably. It was too much. It was all far, far too much.

He’d been unsettled before, with how long Kal had been out - perhaps part of him had known this was coming. That something was going to happen to make the entire world feel like it had tilted on its axis and left him sprawled over the floor.

“Ash is good..” Wolf whispered in the end past little hiccups that still persisted, even as a little more guilt seemed to settle over him at seeing Kals tears too. He swallowed, wiping his eye with his sleeve a little as he nestled his head back on Kal’s chest.

He knew why Kal wanted eye contact, but it felt like a lot in that moment. He shivered a bit, rubbing his other eye. “I didn’t know him a lot cause I was already grown but he.. he checked on me a lot. And he takes in all the broken hellhounds, the ones that.. that are injured or who weren’t born quite right and he helps them grow strong and flourish. And he tries to stop us becoming pawns.. I think he stopped lucifer making me a soldier…”

He sniffled again, eyes watering a little again at the thought. He would probably be dead by now if that had happened. He’d never been good at fighting. He had the scar over his eye to prove it, courtesy of his brother.

“Can we shower first?” He whispered in the end, and though it felt like a lot to ask, too heavy on his chest but he tried… “can you shower with me? I don’t… I can’t…”

#m; Wolf #n0chanxes

Kal let his head shake gently at the question, taking so, so much care to make sure he didn't shake away that hold, those hands. And lips parted to speak as candle-wick eyes looked at his pup, hands on Kal's cheeks-- And words paused. Everything paused for a moment as a smile so easily pulled across his lips as a thought pulled across his mind.

"God, just look at how far you've come" The words came out in an almost disbelieving whisper. "Comforting me even when dealing with something so.. heavy.." He breathed out with a soft smile, and took a selfish little moment to nuzzle their noses together before letting his mind refocus with a sigh, letting foreheads rest again each other's as he gently gave his head one more shake.

"You're right. Ash is good people. As good as they say.." He paused, thinking to the way the Keeper had let Kal's tears soak into his clothes with a nod, "...Better than they say, even. And he's smart. Whoever this being is... I can tell he cares about them too. He didn't give me anything more than what I needed to know to verify he was telling me the truth. Likely won't give me anymore details until the actual meeting happens but... Pup I want to make something... crystal clear."

Kal pulled back just enough for a hand to rest on that cheek again, eyes warm, serious, soft, and caring all at once as his head shook. Lips parted and lingered over these words. But they weren't his to hold back, they were for his pup.

"They.. They didn't forget you, Wolf. They didn't shun you... abandon you. This being might.. seem to be acting alone but.. I mean frankly Pup, you're impossible to forget. Whoever this person is, I'm willing to bet he can feel that the others are confused, scared, suspicious even. But they seem to also know Lucifer well enough, know the shit he's willing to do to protect his own ass. I've been in their shoes before. He does shitty things, covers it up but people can still tell.. But you'd be hard pressed to find somebody strong, stupid or... maybe even cocky enough to actively start going behind his back to figure out his lies." Kal let himself take a soft breath to find his train of thought- What what even was his train of thought?

"All I'm getting at is that.. And know this isn't.. easy for me to say? I fight those that willingly fight for Lucifer. I pity them. I don't much... like them though I just... I know this whole thing... hurts, Wolf. You don't deserve any of that hurt, much less having it magnified by doubts. You might... not be safe there anymore, but I know for a goddamn fact that there's more than this one being that still cares about you.... Okay?" Brows had started knitting together, tighter than even he was aware but he let the subject fall away with a moment of locked eyes and a soft breath, thumb brush across Wolf's cheek.

"But when you're ready.. or if you want to plan for when you want to be ready, just let me know and I'll reach out to Ash and set the whole thing up. I'll be there with you the entire time, and if it ever gets too much, just say the word and we'll leave." He let a smile and a little nose nudge smooth away the lingering tension, head tilting a little, "That sound good, Pup?"

Where Kal saw it as Wolf coming so far, Wolf couldn't help but worry that if he saw just how fast his thoughts were racing, how many doubts he really had in himself, in the words being spoken to him... he might not be so proud. He might, in fact, think Wolf was a disaster, a waste of all of that time. He worried about it especially now that there might be that chance to toss him back there, to throw him back into Hell, no matter what that may entail.

At it's base level, however, comforting Kal was a distraction, a way to ignore the way his eyes were starting to sting, or the way his heart was aching for those he thought for so long that he'd lost. That he thought had forgotten him, and had moved on as though he never existed on the word of a king who was hiding so many horrible secrets...

But distraction could only last so long. Between the pride on Kal's face that Wolf was struggling to believe he deserved, and the thought that everyone hadn't forgotten him, that he'd been wrong this whole time, there'd been very little hope of keeping a carefully straight face for long.

The pain started to furrow his brows, twitch his lips into hints of frowns, of grimaces... To know that, if it was all true, he had put people in danger by disappearing, that someone was looking for him and risking it all because of it? It hurt his heart as much as the pain of losing them, if not more.

And Kal... Kal... He had done so much for Wolf all this time, been through all of it, pulled him up from the ground and held him up until his legs were strong enough to start holding his own weight. Who had taken the smallest little tiptoed steps alongside him, and not gotten mad at him if he took a huge leap back afterwards. Who'd helped him understand that it was okay to ask for things, that he was allowed to want and to feel and to need and to desire without having to have a reason for it, or squash it all deep, deep down.

Yes, he was still learning how to take action on those understandings - particularly where his wants and desires were concerned, but they'd been getting there, step by little step. But now there was someone looking for him and a whole family in Hell maybe wanting him, and Wolf wanted them to but he also wanted Kal and they hadn't done this yet - they hadn't had to work out how to want two things at once that couldn't work together.

And it was that thought, that he would have to hurt someone in this, that had the tears finally starting to burn at his eyes, welling up hot and salty, and spilling right over dark lashes and down his cheeks. He hiccuped, and then that was it. It all came in a rush, in a messy, hiccuped, snivelling rush as he tried to hide his face as his body shook with the force of sobs that bubbled up.

"M-M's-s-sorry..." he was trying to apologise even while he tried, hands covering his face and trying to stop making a mess of Kal's shirt with tears or otherwise, "I-I don't... I'm..." He had no idea how to vocalise all of it now, this whirlwind of emotion.

The pain. The relief. The fear. The hope. The sheer, unchecked anger at Lucifer for even putting them in this situation that made his chest burn so hot and so much that he could burn hell to the ground with its own fire given the damn chance...

"I-I j-just... I don't... Why. Why would he... And why w-would... I..." He gave up trying to put things into sentences now, just a ridiculous mess of a being there in front of Kal, still trying to apologise through blurry eyes and a runny nose.

Of course he could tell. Kal had been attuned to fully to the younger through the last few weeks. Without thinking, he'd built his own little mental bank of Wolf's little tells; the signs when he was trying to smile through something- sadness, fear, fatigue, pain, hunger. The little signs when he was trying to hard to seem neutral or fine but would start shrinking in on himself. The moments when just the twitch of an eye told Kal that Wolf was doing his best to hold back a panic attack at least until they could get home.

So he knew when the tears would be coming. It didn't make seeing them gut him any less. By that very first hiccup, Wolf was fully in his lap, cradled and held tight in his arms, face pressed against the curve of Kal's neck.

"Shhhh. Shh, I'm here, Pup. I'm here. We'll figure it out" He cooed softly, clutching his pup fear dear life. "I know.. I know it hurts. And helps. And solves so much but causes so much confusion. Don't shut that off, Wolf. Don't shy away from it. Feel it and I'll help you make sense of it."

He'd said similar things countless times, all in different settings; Talking the younger down, assuring him that it really was good to tell Kal he didn't like the toothpaste. Making sure Wolf knew it was great if he woke Kal up to let him know he needed comfort. Whispering soft, gentle assurances that he was safe, night after night, day after day, especially if they'd passed some mortal on the street that looked like somebody down There. Helping Wolf meet those emotions head on. Name them. Manage them.. Things Kal would've killed for many, many, many years ago.

"I know... I know it feels like your insides are being ripped up. Not even right down the middle. But messy, jagged cuts and tears. And I know it doesn't feel like it now, but it will be okay. We'll figure this out. And we can help them, eventually. You know how?"

Kal pulled back barely, just enough to bring their eyes to lock, his own candle-wick eyes meeting those dewy hues, now ever so slightly stoked with black-blue flames.

"We end this. The sorrow. The fighting. This war. We end Lucifers control, the pain he's causing the ones you love, the ones who aren't strong enough to go toe to toe with him. We stop him from ripping anybody else up... " Brows pinched together slightly, "L-like he did with you.. And with me... But that'll come later, okay? I promise I'll help that along. I'll help you with anything you need. And right now?" Fingers carded gently through long, slightly wavy strands that he'd so selfishly come to adore.

"This was.. a lot. And good, and heavy all at once. For now I just want to be here for you. I'm gonna make sure you eat. I'm gonna make sure you get water and washed up. And then tomorrow or the next day, we'll figure out when and how you want to meet Ash and this mystery being. All I need you to do is trust me" He smiled at that, now cupping those damp cheeks, warm, tender tears dampening his own.

"Think you can do that for me, Pup?"

#if anyone wants to see my trash other blog

Everyone had suffered so much because of him.

#m; Wolf #n0chanxes

asavagesong

two new boys added to the line up~

Tian (Rie OnlyOneOf) and Yul (Wooyoung). Tian is a vampire/demon boyo with a need to feed but a shattered/torn mind and Yul is a lil incubus, who absolutely will flirt with you and is Eternally HungryTM. Both have their bios up on the muse page here.

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It took a hell of a lot to properly get him winded, but Yongsun puffed breath in and out, sweat slicking his entire frame as they more or less collapsed to his bed. No telling how long it'd been, just how loud. And perfect. He was similar to Doyun in this way; he could feed on energy alone, it just never did nearly as much to fill his reserves as flesh. Tonight though? Fuck he had enough energy to heal from a second Fall.

And then he looked down in his arms, and fucking hell he couldn't help but smile at the sight. Ash, panting, barely there, in his arms. Those stunning, brilliant eyes almost smoldering along with his own. Why did they... feel familiar? Like home? Trust, maybe. Tonight proved something; Aside form obviously being in the same fight together, against too many odds.. There was trust here. Laying with somebody, moaning for them, clutching them, pleading for them. It took a whole realm's worth of trust to come undone like they had together.

"Well fuck.." Yongsun cooed out, eyes glowing, swirling pools of shimmering blood. His hand carefully brushed damp hair from the other's fluttering eyes with a simmering smile. "A sight for sore eyes and all. Speaking of.." He hummed, cupping a sweat-slicked cheek with an almost.. tender kind of smile.

"I never knew yours were this colour. You been holding out on me, Hotstuff?" He hummed with a low chuckle.

It had been so long, but it was like he and Yongsun had been doing this daily. Everything about it had felt so blissfully right, his body reacting to every touch like it both knew that touch, and craved it daily. Like someone had given him a drug he’d been addicted to all this time and had never known. It was safe to say Yongsun lived up to his reputation, and laying there now, head against a warm, panting chest, Ash knew he wasn’t sure he’d ever stop wanting him.

It was more than that, deeper than that though… the want was more than just lust. It was trust, and care, and need in a lot of ways. He looked up at him, letting out a breath of a shy laugh at the others compliment. But then the comment about his eyes came and he… huh?

Confusing knit his eyebrows together, a hand coming up to rub at one of those eyes but he of course still couldn’t see them. They felt normal…

“What… what colour? Brown?” His eyes had always been brown. That was nothing new. Ash seemingly had no idea the crystalline shade they currently were - it was rare for them to shift that colour as it was, and he’d never had a mirror to hand when they had.