Did he expect those words? More or less, yes. He'd been dealing in emotions for a millennia. Did hearing those words, all of them, still make his heart ache and make his brows knit ever so softly? Also yes. Both hands brushed thumbs across damp, rosy cheeks and brought their gazes to meet again, head tilted. The middle Fallen hardly even needed to inhale to taste the emotions just the mention of Byeol had brought. All so warm and so bittersweet at the same time.
"Oh Minnie.." A soft sigh came with a hand, running fingers again through Min's hair, Doyun's own head giving a slow, thoughtful shake as amethyst gems shimmered. "I know... facing so many seemingly impossible odds, this seems like another one, doesn't it? Having affection for somebody, weighing the likelihood of them feeling the same, factoring in the weight of everything else on top of that, what that might mean..." He gave a soft pause, eyes shifting to the side in thought with a gentle smile.
"Sunny might be a better source of information on this, since I Was still unconscious at that point, but that night in the throne room, after the ambush.. Nix and Sunny, even Iseulie told me about it. How your little spark stayed at your side. He was clinging to you, Minnie, willing and ready to burn out his last Ember just to.. try and keep you alive a little longer. From the sounds of it all, he's the sole reason you lasted long enough for them all to get back to the throne room in the first place.." He paused there for breath, to run fingers through those strands, and to smile.
"I think.. I know what you're first worry may be, but Minnie that kind of dedication is more than just.... the loyalty demanded by a hierarchy. I know. I've lived long enough to see lives driven by both. Obligation and Affection my seem similar, but they truly couldn't be more different. Obligation would be staying by your side until help arrived. Affection is doing everything, truly everything, in your power to try make sure the person in your arms lives. It is raw and selfless, desperate and honest. And I...." The blonde paused here, thoughts catching up to his mouth, prompting a little pang of his own and a gentle, bittersweet smile to match.
"About.. your last point." A soft breath and Doyun's eyes went to their laps, but his gaze was distant, lightyears away. ".... Before we fell... " Oh? How odd. It was rare for his throat to... close around words like this. Words and memories that had been remembered but unspoken. "We all had.. what we called a Catalyst. A person, being, moment that solidified our desire to free ourselves... For me it was Jisu. I was a being that dealt in controlling, knowing emotions. But he--- they, at the time, as we all were--- had been the first to truly make me... feel so strongly, romantically even. We were supposed to all Fall, escape together. We were..." Doyun's words choked away in the back of his throat, and a shimmering line trailed from an eye after a soft blink.
"We were supposed to leave,.... maybe even love together. Here, on the surface. But the escape went..." He looked up then, to his one wing, "... Poorly. The forces amounted to keep us in place were strong. There were injuries and a chase. Impossible odds. Sunny-Hyung and Jisu made a call. I'd been at the front of the group, trying to keep the rift open enough, Sunny had Iseulie limping, on his arm and Jisu..." Both eyes closed, loosing the second line of tears.
"I remember looking back, to see Jisu smiling at us as he barred the way from the Gates, keeping them from us as Sunny pulled us through the gates, used his body to crash us through the rift. It.." His head shook gently, the Fallen fully unaware of just how much his voice had quieted and trembled. "It was the last I saw of him until.. Until recently. I was left.. only with longing and guilt." Doyun sighed softly, looking to Min with dewy, shimmering eyes and an ever soft smile.
"I haven't... spoken about this aloud before. And I don't share this to... lessen the mood. All I mean is that if I had known, that last night before our Fall, that it would be the last time I ever saw him. I would've risked everything just to feel his lips on mine just once. I know its scary, Sweetheart, I do. There's that fear, the thought that maybe you've read things wrong, maybe they don't feel that way.. But we so seldom get hindsight like this, second chances with those that mean so much to us." Both hands were at Min's cheeks now, gaze warm and teary.
"Go to your little Ember. Tell him.. what you can, tell him how you feel. If things don't go as planned, know that it may hurt. But I promise you the comfort of closure, if everything does.. end, will be so much more than the pain of never knowing. And know as well that I will be here, regardless of how things go, to support you. Okay, Sweetheart?"
