Danny’s Sketchbook
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@louischristophergaunt
Danny’s Sketchbook
Work in progress.
FINALLY OUT.
I-I know he’s a mess…We actually spoke this wee without argueing, or tears..So, that’s kinda something right? I feel awful-He dosen’t get it, but if I could, I would help him..Try and love him..But things happened..and I couldn’t keep in what I felt..I’m just alot more free with Sam…I feel like I’m alot happier, alot more free..Not that I didn’t care about Toby. I cared about Tobes alot..Just Sam…He’s something.
..Yep..I remember..I..Oh Godric Louis. I guess-I don’t know. Jasmine is a very content, gorgeous girl….She obviously views Gwen as a threat. And she should really-I mean, you did like Gwen at one point. Maybe-You should talk to her about it, calmly. And show Jasmine-How you do really love her, not Gwen and Jasmine has always been the one you have loved not Gwen…Feelings can be confusing..But I guess-Just pick the one that makes you feel more you.
If Sam is the one that makes you feel... I don't know I guess we just can feel that it is the right one? Well yeah. Just go for it. Persuit your happiness.
Well, I did just that I think. I spoke from my heart, there was nothing else I could do. But honestly it was the worst night of my life, after that I took a time to come outside and when I get back she was dancing with this other guy, when I noticed there was I being an ass and making her feel bad about it and then guess what? I was the one dancing with Melanie, and deep inside wanting for Jas to see me there. Saying all this now even sounds worse. I don't know what came to both of us, but we were hurting eachother on purpose. And only Godric knows how jealous I felt, and after that I desperate I was... afraid that she could break up with me all over again. It was just horrible. But we talked it over, I think I was able to make her sure of my feelings for her. Or at least I hope so... I trully love her, and Gwen isn't but a friend. I know that now. I'm sure of it.
FINALLY OUT.
Okay SO uh-It was at the Yule Ball..and I couldn’t find Toby anywhere..So I went with Sam..not knowing it was Sam. We both had masks on-and well..we talked for hours, about us, our lives, our hopes, our futures…and then he kissed me…We took our masks off-Realized..I-I broke up with Toby then…I felt awful…He said he was in love with me, and I had never felt that way about him before. So..I got slated,a whore,a slut…a bitch…And..I grew closer with Sam, so close…We did this secret thing- And..and..It kinda ruined us..But I don’t know-I’ve never felt this way about a guy before. He’s just so different to me..and he takes care of me, and he challenges me..and he makes me feel so..alive and good..and that I’m living a dream everytime I’m with him? I- I’m sorry I’m rambling. I’m in love…So, yeah. My life in the last few months.
..Your turn.
Well, I can's say that I've never heard of this story before, of course I've heard things, but you know me, I'm never the one to judge, and being you more then anyone I knew that you had your reasons, Toby was-well kinda still is a wreck. It hurts to even look at him when we walked in that tower. But for what you are telling me, you did the right thing. Something that went behond your control happened. and you imediately got straight to him and put it all out. For where I'm standing... I've never seen you this happy Phoebe, honestly, maybe everything happened for a reason...
My turn? Okay then.
So. As you probably know, since it seems like everyone in this castle knows, I kinda had a crush over Gwen, we've grown pretty close to eachother since she came to Hogwarts, and with Jasmine breaking up with me only drove me closer to her. And then this year me and Jas as you know, got back together, and I'm sure about my feelings for her, other way I would never ever be with her. I've came to learn that my feelings for Gwen had must to be confused with the close friendship that we have, she sees my as her brother, and right now, that's how I see her as well, I can't see her in any other way. Thing is, me and Jas never actually talked about it, ever. Seeing from now, I should have talked about it with her, but I had no idea.
So the black light party. It was supposed to be the perfect night, valentine's day and all. But no. She asked me if I rather wanted to have Gwen there with me. And I felt so... I don't know. At first I was like 'how could she be asking me this' but then I started realizing how she must be feeling all this time, not actually knowing, from me, what Gwen meant for me you know?
FINALLY OUT.
…Actual story? Well let’s go for that walk. You can tell me all about your dramas, and I’ll tell you all abut mine.
..Kinda-But hey, right now. It’s all good! Now, who’s going first?
You go first - He said tossing his hands into his pockets as they starter their walk-
FINALLY OUT.
..I don’t think you’ll like the actual story-But I don’t think I can lie to you Louis.
Care to share? Or in better words-What happened? My life is a drama, so you can talk to me about it.
Oh Godric I’m fine! Seriously Scott has helped me roam the halls-Sam on the other hand has kept me protected, but I can run around and actually do my job now! Louis, you’re not a shit friend, I’ve just missed you is’ all.
Why wouldn't I like the actual story. And is not a story it's your life, so as your friend I want to know everything.
Let' say it was a long night to both of us... She asked me somethings about Gwen. And I guess it all started there... It's a really long story... if you care to hear maybe we could go for a walk? By the lake or something...
I've missed you too. And I'm happy that is all good now.
FINALLY OUT.
Oh, Sssh. I will tell you in all due time…If you really want to know.
..Well I guess I’m kinda’ happy. Yeah-What’s been going on with you? Like with your study and Jasmine? I’ve been doing okay..I mean Sophie Hayes hexed me this week so I’ve been desperately trying to get out the ward, but now I’m out and free!
Oh sure I do! I want to know everything!
I can say that you are just by looking at you. I'm glad. I've been doing fine, not counting with the black light party night, lots of drama that night for me. And I'm not used to that. Glad I make it safe and sound.
Oh yes. I've heard something about it. Again, sorry for being such a shitty friend that I didn't even went to see you. You're out and free and looking good. Completely recovered I hope. Don't push it if you're not.
FINALLY OUT.
..Got alot to tell you hm?
Hey-It’s fine. I missed you! I should had made more effort..I really should had. How are you?! What the hell have you been up too?!
I think so. Yeah.
I've missed you too. I love that smile on your face though. Oh it's fine, I've been busy with my own stuff as well. No big deal. Sometimes this castle turns out to be bigger then we thought, barely seeing the people we want. I've been good. Study and stuff, you know me. How about you? Besides being all cozy with Pendragon.
FINALLY OUT.
WOAH. WOAH-You’re alive?! I thought you had gone in a deep nothingness of despair.
A while? It’s been months Raven.
I am. I am alive. And so are you? The few times I saw you by distance you were always in the company of a fellow Gryffindor, I didn't feel like interrupt.
I know. I'm sorry that I vanished on you Little Lion.
Belive it or not...
... I'm fiding it quite hard to find a good book in this library that I haven't read it already...
FINALLY OUT.
I can run around. YAY!
Hey you... haven't seen you in a while now... How have you been?
I wonder where my date is...
Jasmine took his hand. She needed to get away from there. She just had to let that stupid party go and find somewhere more quiet for the two of them. Her eyes was locked on his for a while. Going back to the Ravenclaw tower was probably going to be the best plan for the rest of the night. It was late, but still not late enough for them to sleep, so she thought they would just snuggle up in his bed like they had done a thousand times before. The times that she had really felt at home was when she had been in Louis’ arms.
So she pulled his hand a bit, signaling that they should move back towards the common room. “I’ll sleep in your bed then.” She said, with a nod. “You obviously can’t get into the girl dorms, so I’m just going to sleep in yours.. You don’t think the rest of the guys would mind, do you?” She asked, starting to walk, still holding his hand, intertwining their fingers. “I mean, we’ve done it before, I don’t think they’d mind..” She smiled, her eyes focusing on the stairs coming up in front of her. There was a pretty long way from the great hall to the Ravenclaw tower, but they had walked it a thousand times that it would still take them no time to get up there.
After walking around half the way, Jasmine stopped. She turned around and looked at Louis. Most people were still at the party, so there was practically no one on the staircases. She looked around, gave him a kiss and then said. “I still can’t believe what happened today.. I never thought I’d see us fight like that.” She started walking again. She just wanted to start a little conversation, the way up had been to quiet.
If there was something that Louis would never get tired of was of looking into Jasmine's eyes, sometimes those eyes tell him more then her words, he leaned in and kissed her forehead softly yet still quickly, getting back to looking at her again, As she pulled him he let himself be guided by her, a smile spreading across his face as she decided that she would be sleeping in his bed tonight, that seemed just the right solution for his problem, intertwining their fingers they both headed to the Ravenclaw's tower, with her still rambling a bit. "Actually... I think we will be on our own tonight..." He said, as she mention his roommates, I saw Max pretty entertained with this Slytherin girl, if I have to guess he will be extremly busy tonight. And Lorcan is no where to be found latetly, he usually doesn't show to sleep in his bed either, I don't really know what he's been up to, but right now I couldn't care less. So yeah. I guess we have nothing to worry about" He said placing one arm around her, and holding her tight even while they were still walking their way to the tower.
Half way there she stopped them, looking at him for a moment and she kissed him, he smiled against her lips and kissed her back, "Me neither, I never had you as the jealous kind of girl, does that mean that you didn't loved me as much before or?" He said with a jokingly tone in his voice, chuckling. "I'm just kidding. I don't know, maybe it was a good thing, maybe this way he realized how important we are for eachother..." He said shrugging, and leaning in to kiss her again, "I'm just happy that we talked this out" He added, with his forehead against hers, looking at her and thinking that maybe he was right, maybe only after that jealousy attack he actually realized how important she was for him, how would it hurt if he loses her. It would broke him, and that wasn't something he thought about ever before, of course he was sad when she broke up with him last year, but for some reason he just didn't let hiimself go that down about it, if she breaks up with him now, it would be completely different, it would actually wreck him, in a way that his mind was telling him that it didn't make sense, but he heart knew it was true.
"Let's get going, I need a shower, and I want to hold you until you will be begging me to let you go..." He said, kissing her once again before making both of them head to the tower, once they got there, he replied to the riddle, and they finally got inside, there was no one there, absolutely no one, not that she didn't knew the way, but he guided her towards his dorm, and as they got inside he closed the door behind him, as he previously said, there was no one there. "Do you want take a shower first? I can find a shirt for you, and maybe a pair of boxers,.." He said hugging her from behind, talking into her ear.
I wonder where my date is...
Jasmine couldn’t help but find the situation suddenly funny. She smiled and wiped her tears again. “It’s Valentines, we should’ve had fun..” She said, stepping a bit closer to Louis. He smile disappeared though, and she sighed. “N-No.. That’s not it. Jealousy is never a good thing.. I was just tired of always being the jealous one… making you jealous was wrong, I’m sorry.” She quickly explained, her heart skipping a beat.
"Can we just not talk about Gwen? She’s nowhere to be found, rumor says she’s gone back to beauxbatons even though I think that’s highly unlikely seeing that she was thriving here and her circle of friends were incredibly given the short amount of time she was here." Jasmine blurted out. She was nervous so she was rambling and overanalyzing the situation. If she hadn’t stopped to take breath, she would’ve probably gone into a way deeper analyze on her behavior and it was completely out of context to their whole argument, so she stopped. She took a deep breath and looked at him, mumbling a sorry with a smile.
Times like this, he would’ve brushed her hair behind her ear, but she was far from having that length of hair. Her eyes may have finally stopped watering and she was happy.. At least a little. Just the fact that they were trying to figure it out made everything a lot lighter. They had both admitted they were wrong up to several times each, but she didn’t care. she needed him to know that i she was in fact, regretting everything. Suddenly he said it. Her heart stopped, and her lips got tense. There were only and us. He said. And he said it so she could easily feel that he meant it. That was when she couldn’t keep herself back. She took the step closer to close the last gap between them and pressed her lips to his. “I love you.. and I love us.” She said, both her eyes and lips forming big smiles. “We should just.. try our best not to screw up then.” She said with a little smile on her lips. A ton of emotions was still rushing through her, but one of them was clearly the one shining through to her. Her love for him. She couldn’t suppress it. She had tried to when she had broken up, but she just couldn’t. He was the one she kept thinking of, all the time. And seeing him with Gwen had hurt, even when she knew they were just friends. Seeing him with Melanie hurt, even though he knew they were just friends. Her mind was probably playing tricks on her, making her see things a different way, she wouldn’t know, but she loved him.. and he loved her, and that was all that mattered right there. She leaned up and kissed him again. “I love you..”
"So am I. Sorry for all this." He said, a sign coming from his lips, She was right, we should've had fun today. Not all of this that was happening. It was still hard to belive.
"Please, let's just not talk about her, I don't care about her right now. I care about you, Jas" He said, noticing her rambling, and he half smiled as he noticed her sundely stop talking and taking a deep breath.
At his mention of the us he could see how that changed something inside her, and when she finally broke the distance between them he felt so... relieved, and kind of happy, when her lips finally touched his he placed his hand in her face, caressing her with his thumb as he kissed her back, softly. The smile on her face made him smile as well, a meaningfull smile this time, "I love you so much Jas" He replied, looking back at her beautiful eyes. "I'll do everything in my power to not let us screw up. And I'll always be here to make us right our wrongs whenever we end up screwing up anyway... because things happen, and it's what we do to fix them that counts" He said, and he meant every word, right now he just wanted to hold her close, and never let her go, So when she leaned up to kiss him again, that was what he did, he grabbed her by her waist, sligtly lifting her up, kissing her back, and holding her close against his bare chest, "I love you more" He said, against her lips. "I love so so much" He said over and over again taking his time kissing her this time, only then placing her back into the ground, gazing at her, and caressing her face, with his hand. "I need to be with you tonight. I-I don't want to be appart from you, not after all this." He said, looking at her, showing her all his emotions, his voice giving them all away. He was so affraid of losing her tonight, that he simply didn't wanted to be without her, not so soon.
I wonder where my date is...
She hadn’t seen that one coming. She had hoped for him to just shrug it off and just go along with the plan that they would wait until they were sober enough to handle the situation better. Maybe that was what it should be. She wasn’t sure. She sighed, finally looking up, finding her eyes with his. Her eyes were still watery. She had no idea how she would survive this night after what had happened, and honestly, she didn’t think talking to him would help, because everything just hurt. But he wanted to talk. She could feel it. So that’s what she would do. She would take a deep breath and take a good look at him. “I err..” She said. “I’m really, sorry, Louis.” She continued, seriousness shining out of her eyes. “We’re drunk and uh.. Stuff like this happen.” she mumbled, but loud enough for him to hear.
"I-I’m going to be honest, Lou.. I.. I kind of only decided to get painted because.. I wanted you to get jealous." She admitted. A burden felt like being lifted, but she didn’t even know how. The pain she had gotten from this was still there, especially while looking for his reaction in his eyes. "I.. I was just tired of being the jealous girlfriend.. The way you got mad after I brought up Gwen and.. I’m sorry, I should’ve never mentioned her." She said, her voice trembling with nervousness and another tear streaming streaming down her cheek. "I love you.. I love you a lot, I just.. I don’t know what went into me and.. Then you and Melanie." She continued. She should’ve probably stopped now. She should’ve probably just let him talk now. "Lou.. Why do I keep screwing us up? Why can’t I make this work?" She asked, looking down, still wiping her tears whenever she felt any. "First I broke up with you and now this.. Everything is my fault."
"We are drunk. Well not that much anymore or I wouldn't be feeling such a dickhead right now. Non of this should have happened, this was supposed to be a good night for both of us, and look at us!" He said, relieved with she finally looked at him, her eyes still shining due the crying, and all he wanted was to hug her, hug the pain away, protect her. But how could him protect her if he was the cause of all this?
"But why? Does my lack of jealousy makes you think that I love you any less?" He asked confused with her statment, and as he said he took a step towards, closing the distance between them a little, not all the way though, she should have a word on that as well. And well, that's what Louis always does. She always have a call in everything. "I'm the one to blame on the Gwen matter. I should have talked with you about it earlier, it was my mistake to think that it wouldn't matter, now they we were back together" He said, one of his hands brushing his own hair, feeling nervous about all this and where this could take them.
"I love you to Jas. So very much. And I don't ant you to doubt that, never." He stated, looking straight into her eyes. " If you did all that to make me jealous, you did a pretty good job, because I never felt like this before, I felt like puching that guy, and I don't even know who that was... and that is so not like me." He said, rambling a bit, trying to make his point but kinda missing it. "The thing is, everything I did after I saw you with him, conscious of it or not, deep inside was out of rage. And with the purpose of making you jealous as well. Because for a second, I wanted you on my shoes, I wanted you to know how it felt..." As he said it out loud, it was as if it made everything even more real. And he was disapointed with himself. "The minute I've heard your voice behind me, and the disapointment in your voice... If only I could take it back. But I can't. So all I can do right now is apologize." He said, now he was the one staring at the floor, but only until she started to talking about how she kept screwing them up. And she was wrong. "Just shut up. You aren't doing anything, we are. You can't possibly screw everything by yourself, and tonight was living proof of that. We both make mistakes, we just need to fix them together. Yes you broke up with me, but I didn't put up a fight. I just accepted it. So, I have a say on that as well. Between you and me, there isn't actually a you and a me there's only an us. And when we mess up, we mess up big time I guess..."