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Love Of My Life - Harry’s House (Analysis)
A new way to see the quote “I remember back at Johnny’s place, not the same anymore”.
Today’s door is a picture from Johnny Paws house. He is an architect and apparently friends with Harry. Let’s assume Johnny designed Louis and Harry’s house - so Johnny’s house is actually their house, therefore their house is not the same.
Remember “the fish is traveling, he’s taking the year off”. So things were not the same because Louis was taking a year off.
Little Freak (Harry’s House) - My analysis
Hi, it’s me again with another song analysis. This one was extremely hard for me to write because it’s a delicate subject and I was really worried I could offend Harry with someday I’d say. Before you go into this analysis, know that I do support the theory that Harry has an internal She, therefore this analysis talks into this, so please, read with open mind. Also, this is a raw analysis of the song. With that in mind, bear with me. This is long.
Little Freak - The way society sees a trans person, maybe the way he used to see himself.
“Little freak, Jezebel, you sit high atop the kitchen counter” - This is the part that sort of confused me as to which way to take when interpreting the song. The biblical meaning of the name Jezebel means an impudent, shameless, or morally unrestrained woman. In general, calling someone Jezebel it means they’re a gold digger. And on Urban Dictionary it also means someone who gets pregnant at a younger age. At first I thought this song could be a Kiwi 2.0, but the rest of the song is sweet, so I will follow the thought that it’s a woman who is judged by society.
“Stayed green a little while” - Being green means that you’re immature, you’re young and lack experience. That could relate to a younger Harry who was aware of his internal She and didn’t want to look into it because maybe he was scared. It could mean that when he was younger he didn’t explore it, but as he got older, he started looking into it and exploring his feminine side.
“You bring blue lights to dreams” - A blue light strengthens and stimulates connections between areas of your brain that process emotion and language. This means that blue light may, in turn, help people to better handle emotional challenges and regulate mood over time. What I think it means is that his internal She is the one who keeps him true to himself, to who he really is.
“Starry haze and crystal balls” - “Starry haze” could be related to “written in the stars” which means it’s meant to happen, which goes along with the utility of crystal balls, which is seeing the future. So he wonders if in the future he might feel more comfortable with himself.
“Somehow you’ve become some paranoia” - At first, Harry decided to explore his feminine side and didn’t look too much into it, but when he realised that his internal She had a way deeper and more important meaning to him and that he really identified himself with her, he couldn’t escape it, and therefore it became a paranoia. It could also mean that he was scared to publically explore his feminine side, afraid people would judge it, and so he started being paranoid “but if I do this they will see it, but if I paint my nails they will think I’m this or that” and so it goes. (It really hurts to write this).
“Wet dreams just dangling” - Well, I don’t need to say what this term means, but remember Harry’s lyrics in She when he says “she’s the first one that I see” that relates to his internal She being the first thing he sees when he wakes up and “she sleeps in his bed”? It could mean that during the night he dreams about things that truly make him… you know, and then he wakes up to… well, the meaning of the term wet dreams.
“But your gift is wasted on me” - In my point of view this part means that Harry’s internal She is the one who writes the lyrics, composes songs, but Harry’s outside (he) is the one who takes credit for it.
“I was thinking about who you are” - Same meaning of Harry’s lyrics in She when he says “I don’t know who she is”, that basically means he doesn’t know who this side of him is, but he’s trying to figure out.
“Your delicate point of view” - This one just made me emotional. It could be read as his internal She being sweet, timid and delicate.
“I’m not worried about where you are and who you go home to” - I can’t really think of something, just maybe he doesn’t have to worry because she’s safe with him?
“I’m just thinking about you, just thinking about you” - Again, thinking.
“Did you dress up for a halloween” - This is so loud because Halloween is the day you can dress as anything and no one will judge you because theoretically is a costume. And the loudest thing: Harry did dress up for Halloween, he dressed up as Dorothy and Miley and Elton (thank you to those who pointed out I should add it here!) and that’s the thing - Harry didn’t dress up for Halloween, his internal She did because, on that day, she could be out, even if it was just on the way she dressed.
“I spilled beer on your friend, I’m not sorry” - In this part, remember what I said about his internal She getting dressed up for Halloween? Yes, she can get dressed up, but she can’t be the one out in the open. The one interacting with people, drinking with friends, is Harry. So, she didn’t spill the drink, Harry did, and maybe because he made a joke about his costume?
“A golf swing and a trampoline, maybe we’ll do this again” - I have no clue what it means, but maybe it could mean things he did while being in the open, letting his internal She out.
“Tracksuit and a ponytail” - I would add pictures of Harry in a ponytail and hair accessories, but this post would never end. Also, tracksuit and ponytail are exactly the sort of Harry we see when he’s out for runs.
“You hide the body, all that yoga gave you” - I think this could be talking about the clothes he wears, since he’s always wearing pants. This reminded me of Louis’ “I haven’t seen you in a dress before” and it’s exactly what I think he means. Perhaps the internal She wants to wear a dress and show off because she’s beautiful and does yoga, ha!
“Red wine and ginger ale, but you would make fun of me for sure” - Could mean that Harry would drink to try to forget her, but then he’d loosen himself and either let her show or his internal She (him himself) would judge him for trying to act manly.
“I disrespected you, jumped in feet first and landed too hard, broke a ankle, karma rules” - Basically means that at first, he disrespected his internal She, treated her roughly, ignored her, maybe even joked about her (people who make jokes to deal with trauma), but she wouldn’t leave and she kept coming back and turned into a paranoia, and so “karma rules”.
“You never saw my birthmark“ - A birthmark is something that you a born with, it’s something that remains with you. And so, the birthmark could mean his internal She, he was born with it and it’s a part of him he can’t change because it’s who he is. (Credits for my friend Newt for thinking of it).
In conclusion, I strongly believe it’s a continuation to She. In She, Harry doesn’t know who she is, just knows she’s there, he says “I don’t know who she is” and he’s not looking into it, doesn’t want to know, maybe is trying to ignore her. However in Little Freak, he says “I was thinking about who you are, your delicate point of view” which means he knows who she is, he knows what she’s like and he accepts it, he likes her.
For me, this was an extremely emotional analysis to write because this is a delicate subject and I was constantly worried I’d write something that would offend him and her, but I think this is okay.
Also, he disrespected her at first, this song is him describing the road of acceptance. I think he now accepts who he is, and I feel nothing but proud of him.
Lyrics to all of Harry's House
Music For a Sushi Restaurant
Late Night Talking
Grape Juice
As It Was
Daylight
Little Freak
Matilda
Cinema
Daydream
Keep Driving
Satellite
Boyfriends
Love of my Life
Love Of My Life (Harry’s House) - My analysis
Okay, so I saw a lot of people saying Love Of My Life is a song about Harry and Louis’ break up, but I don’t think it is. So I wrote my analysis of the song. Ps.: I go through all the lyrics so it’s quite long. Bear with me.
“Baby, you were the love of my life, maybe you don’t know what’s lost until you find it” - Harry doesn’t use the term “until you lose it” so basically he just says that he didn’t know he was missing something (the love of his life) until he found him.
“Take a walk on Sunday through the afternoon, we can always find something for us to do” - Notice that he doesn’t use the word “could” as if he’s saying “when we were together, we could always find something for us to do”, he uses present tense as if saying, “we are together and we can always find something for us to do”.
“We don’t really like what’s on the news but it’s on all the time” - Once again with the present tense. So the person was the love of his life but he’s still with them? I don’t think so. Also, notice as he says he and the person don’t like what’s on the news, meaning Louis and Harry don’t like what shows on the news as related to the stunts, so they don’t like that the stunts are always on the news, but it’s still happening, they can’t do much about it but watch it.
“Take you with me every time I go away, in a hotel using someone else’s name” - Once again (and I’ll keep reminding you since everyone was saying it’s a break up song when it’s not) using the present tense. In this part, it’s like he’s telling Louis he takes him with him every time they’re not together physically. Also, “in a hotel using someone else’s name” we have a list of names allowed to go into Harry’s room in a hotel and I’ll assume they’re all for Louis. Here’s the picture.
“I remember back at Johnny’s place, not the same anymore” - Well, for this part, Snow Patrol’s Johnny McDaid was friends with Harry back in 2013 (I think) and I’ll assume Louis and Harry used to go to his place, but things change, maybe Louis doesn’t go there with him anymore. Summing up, things change, I don’t know everything.
“It’s not what I wanted to leave you behind” - For me, this could be about the time they broke up (somewhere between 2016-2017) that Harry probably tried talking to Louis to understand what was happening to their relationship, why they were sort of falling apart, and the conversation ended in a break up without him meaning to at first. Once again, it’s in the past, so it doesn’t necessarily means that he’s now leaving him behind, or left him behind for good - it just means that they broke up some time along the way, which also doesn’t mean they’re still apart.
“Don’t know where you land when you fly” - This could mean a few things. First, it could mean he doesn’t know what Louis is thinking because he keeps it to himself, so “fly” could mean that his thoughts are flying in his mind. In portuguese, my first language, when we say someone is “flying” it means they’re distracted with their own mind, only paying attention to their own thoughts. Secondly, it could mean that he doesn’t know where Louis goes when they argue, doesn’t know where he goes when he really doesn’t want to be found because he’s in a bad state of mind. Also, this was another reference to Louis as his bird and it fucking hurts.
“It’s unfortunate, just coordinates” - I really don’t know, but I’ll just point out this is literally the only thing other than As It Was lyrics and the Boyfriends’ halfway home lyrics that relate to everything that’s related to You Are Home tweets. This part, only thing that could come to my mind is that all those coordinates Harry used in the YAH webside are places he and Louis traveled to together and now they’re just coordinates. I can’t think of something else. Ouch, this hurt.
“I don’t know you half as well as all my friends” - Maybe Louis doesn’t know (or didn’t use to know) how to talk to Harry about the things that were bothering regarding to their relationship, or maybe he just tells (or used to tell) him superficial things, but went (or goes) for Harry’s friends for advices on how to deal with the situation because he will assume Harry goes to his own friends for advices, so they know what’s on Harry’s mind or what’s bothering him about their relationship that Harry doesn’t tell him.
“I won’t pretend I’m doing everything I can to get to know your creases and your ends. Are they the same?” - He knows their relationship goes through struggles and he knows that Louis keeps a lot to himself (his struggles, his pain), and he feels like maybe he’s not trying hard enough to get Louis to open up so he can know what’s in his mind. Well, what can I say? In all Harry’s songs he’s blaming himself for everything and always apologising, of course he’s gonna think he’s not doing his best when maybe Louis just doesn’t know how to open up and it doesn’t depend on Harry. (Ouch this hurt again). Also, remember Louis’ lyrics “I’m too tired to be tough, just want to be loved by you” meaning he’s the one closing up and trying to look like he’s okay when he feels bad sometimes. And when he goes “are they the same” he could mean are his struggles the same as Harry’s or even are the struggles the same as they used to be the last time Louis told him? What I mean is, imagine they have a conversation about what’s bothering Louis now and that’s done, but then tomorrow Louis is sad or upset again and so Harry doesn’t know if it’s because of the same reason or something else.
And then it just repeats baby, you were the love of my life, maybe you don’t know what’s lost until you find it and we cry ourselves to sleep.
Summing up, no, this is not a break up song. This is not a you were the love of my life and you’re not anymore. This song is love, raw and open. This song shows you that Louis can be the love of his life, things can be incredible, but it still is a relationship and it’s still going to have rough times. This song is Harry saying that he loves him and he wants to work on it, give all he has. He’s the love of his life. He’s all in.