lovable_ace_person

[acefacts101]

ASEXUALS CAN...

1. Buy a candy bar

2. Participate in the skeleton war

3. Fall asleep

4. Kiss a kitty on the head

5. Uuuuhhhh

6. The possibilities just keep on going

[hyacinthhavoc]

                     💜🖤Ace isn’t a white thing🖤💜

Inspired by  johncribati’s Ace of color flag

[midnight-fox-boy]

I never see positivity posts for greyaros so..

To the greyaros who love it when they feel romantic attraction

To the greyaros who don't

To the greyaros who didnt feel greyaro until later in life

To the greyaros who enjoy romantic relationships

To the greyaros who feel excluded from aro spaces that focus on no attraction what-so-ever

To the greyaros who usually feel romantic attraction

To the greyaros that feel invalid because they experience attraction or notice little representation or validity

To the greyaros who love romance even when they don't feel attraction

You ARE aro enough. You are not confused. You aren't trying "win the most oppressed reward"

You deserve love (platonic/romantic/familial/ect) if you want it. You deserve a place in aro spaces. Keep being you, and exploring yourself <3

[i-will-help-you-swim]

Reblog if you think asexuality is a legitimate sexuality.

I'm trying to prove something.

[cmoon-rabbit4-blog]

Reblog if your blog is a safe place for asexuals.

[withthecreaturesinthewoods]

So my Dad came out as asexual today; he’s 67 years old.

[always-aced-out]

On sex repulsion

I sometimes wish that being sex-repulsed wasn’t always looked at so negatively. Like it’s something inherently bad, even if the person is asexual and/or has a low libido.

I brought up this last point because I can see how it could be very distressing to someone who experiences sexual attraction and/or has a high libido. I can also see how it could be distressing and quite inconvinient if the repulsion is strong enough to affect day-to-day life (such as people getting physically sick at seeing a sexualized commercial). I can see how it could be distressing if it’s directly related to/caused by trauma or internalized homophobia.

If someone feels like their sex-repulsion is actually negatively affecting their life, I do think they should seek help. But I think they should also reconsider whether those feelings come from within or from the outside. Do they want to change because they genuinely think sex could be something they could enjoy/because their repulsion is “too strong” to the point of stopping them from enjoying life? Or do they just want to be “normal”?

However, I think sex-repulsion can be a neutral thing. Just like being repulsed by certain foods or smells. It doesn’t need to be something that always requires “overcoming”. I’ve seen so many aces, especially young ones (either literally or those who recently recognized they’re ace) asking around if it’s OK to be sex-repulsed. If it’s “normal”. Is it “normal” as in being common and widespread? No. Is it a valid way to feel? Of course!

The previous points mostly apply to those who are sex-repulsed themselves. But sex-repulsion is also usually viewed negatively from the outsiders’ perspective.

Like it’s some kind of an “illness” that HAS to be cured.

Like it’s something pitiful that stops people from enjoying one of the “greatest pleasures life has to offer”.

Like it’s something immature that people will get over with age and “experience”.

Like it’s the same thing as sex-shaming and/or being sexually repressed - something that only “conservative housewives” feel.

P.S. To those making ace positivity/info posts, please don’t just leave the definition at “Asexuality doesn’t mean sex-repulsion!”. Sure, that isn’t the meaning of the word. But at least add “However, some asexuals are sex-repulsed and even if they’re not, some might just not be interested in sexual activity.”

[lovableace]

I am sex-repulsed but I tried some sexual things to “overcome it”/ please my ex-partner and to be a good partner despite my asexuality. And tbh, it traumatized me to a point where sex or sex-related topics trigger me (like the medical version of trigger). I was an asexual person who used to joke about it and my humor was known to be pretty dirty in all kinds. But thanks to my experience, my life has become different and I can add another trauma to my list (I have PTSD and other mental conditions, fyi). Now I’m working on gaining my power back and to become comfortable this (annoying) society again :)  However (!) I don’t see my sex-repulsion as something negative nor something to be cured, especially after I “tried to cure” myself. For me, it’s just a part of who I am and since I don’t seek romantic relationships anymore but friendships, I don’t really worry too much about it. 

[always-aced-out]

See, I’ve talked about sex-repulsion, compulsory sexuality and coercion within relationships involving an ace person before (although not on Tumblr).

And every time, people responded with stories similar to yours. With stories about how they participated in acts that made them very uncomfortable in order to please their partner or “overcome” their sex-repulsion. But they ended up traumatized and usually even more repulsed. Stories like these are unfortunately quite common and my heart goes out to anyone who had to go through them. I truly wish you luck with gaining your power back and finding comfort. 💜 I’m glad that it seems you’re accepting that your feelings are valid.

That’s why I think it’s important to talk about issues I mentioned in the beggining of my reply. So that, hopefully, discussions will be started and posts like mine will help people accept their feelings and maybe spare them some anguish.

P.S. I hope I haven’t gone too personal, come of as patronizing or made any wrong assumptions. If anything about my reply makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to tell me. 😊

[lovableace]

Thank you. Really. I mean it from the bottom of my sex-repulsed heart, thank you. Reading this, reading that I’m not alone with that and that I’m not wrong nor somehow invalid in my feelings gives me so much strength with that. Yes, I have accepted my feelings as valid and I work hard on gaining my power back but it’s still tough and the feeling of being the only one (since I don’t know many people with similar problems) is still there. Now, reading this and knowing that other have also experienced what I have (sadly, I wished they haven’t) gives me hope and validation. So thank you!

P.S: don’t worry, you did nothing wrong but I appreciate your careful words of respect :)

[always-aced-out]

You’re very welcome! :) I’m glad I managed to help at least one person realize that they aren’t alone in their experiences and that their feelings are valid! 🖤💜 (I also wish there were gray and white heart emojis, I’d probably use them in every post together with these hahah)

[lovableace]

And you did a fine job, let me tell ya :D You can be proud ^^  (Meh I’m on my computer so no emojis XD) 

[always-aced-out]

On sex repulsion

I sometimes wish that being sex-repulsed wasn’t always looked at so negatively. Like it’s something inherently bad, even if the person is asexual and/or has a low libido.

I brought up this last point because I can see how it could be very distressing to someone who experiences sexual attraction and/or has a high libido. I can also see how it could be distressing and quite inconvinient if the repulsion is strong enough to affect day-to-day life (such as people getting physically sick at seeing a sexualized commercial). I can see how it could be distressing if it’s directly related to/caused by trauma or internalized homophobia.

If someone feels like their sex-repulsion is actually negatively affecting their life, I do think they should seek help. But I think they should also reconsider whether those feelings come from within or from the outside. Do they want to change because they genuinely think sex could be something they could enjoy/because their repulsion is “too strong” to the point of stopping them from enjoying life? Or do they just want to be “normal”?

However, I think sex-repulsion can be a neutral thing. Just like being repulsed by certain foods or smells. It doesn’t need to be something that always requires “overcoming”. I’ve seen so many aces, especially young ones (either literally or those who recently recognized they’re ace) asking around if it’s OK to be sex-repulsed. If it’s “normal”. Is it “normal” as in being common and widespread? No. Is it a valid way to feel? Of course!

The previous points mostly apply to those who are sex-repulsed themselves. But sex-repulsion is also usually viewed negatively from the outsiders’ perspective.

Like it’s some kind of an “illness” that HAS to be cured.

Like it’s something pitiful that stops people from enjoying one of the “greatest pleasures life has to offer”.

Like it’s something immature that people will get over with age and “experience”.

Like it’s the same thing as sex-shaming and/or being sexually repressed - something that only “conservative housewives” feel.

P.S. To those making ace positivity/info posts, please don’t just leave the definition at “Asexuality doesn’t mean sex-repulsion!”. Sure, that isn’t the meaning of the word. But at least add “However, some asexuals are sex-repulsed and even if they’re not, some might just not be interested in sexual activity.”

[lovableace]

I am sex-repulsed but I tried some sexual things to “overcome it”/ please my ex-partner and to be a good partner despite my asexuality. And tbh, it traumatized me to a point where sex or sex-related topics trigger me (like the medical version of trigger). I was an asexual person who used to joke about it and my humor was known to be pretty dirty in all kinds. But thanks to my experience, my life has become different and I can add another trauma to my list (I have PTSD and other mental conditions, fyi). Now I’m working on gaining my power back and to become comfortable this (annoying) society again :)  However (!) I don’t see my sex-repulsion as something negative nor something to be cured, especially after I “tried to cure” myself. For me, it’s just a part of who I am and since I don’t seek romantic relationships anymore but friendships, I don’t really worry too much about it. 

[always-aced-out]

See, I’ve talked about sex-repulsion, compulsory sexuality and coercion within relationships involving an ace person before (although not on Tumblr).

And every time, people responded with stories similar to yours. With stories about how they participated in acts that made them very uncomfortable in order to please their partner or “overcome” their sex-repulsion. But they ended up traumatized and usually even more repulsed. Stories like these are unfortunately quite common and my heart goes out to anyone who had to go through them. I truly wish you luck with gaining your power back and finding comfort. 💜 I’m glad that it seems you’re accepting that your feelings are valid.

That’s why I think it’s important to talk about issues I mentioned in the beggining of my reply. So that, hopefully, discussions will be started and posts like mine will help people accept their feelings and maybe spare them some anguish.

P.S. I hope I haven’t gone too personal, come of as patronizing or made any wrong assumptions. If anything about my reply makes you uncomfortable, please feel free to tell me. 😊

[lovableace]

Thank you. Really. I mean it from the bottom of my sex-repulsed heart, thank you. Reading this, reading that I’m not alone with that and that I’m not wrong nor somehow invalid in my feelings gives me so much strength with that. Yes, I have accepted my feelings as valid and I work hard on gaining my power back but it’s still tough and the feeling of being the only one (since I don’t know many people with similar problems) is still there. Now, reading this and knowing that other have also experienced what I have (sadly, I wished they haven’t) gives me hope and validation. So thank you!

P.S: don’t worry, you did nothing wrong but I appreciate your careful words of respect :)

[always-aced-out]

On sex repulsion

I sometimes wish that being sex-repulsed wasn’t always looked at so negatively. Like it’s something inherently bad, even if the person is asexual and/or has a low libido.

I brought up this last point because I can see how it could be very distressing to someone who experiences sexual attraction and/or has a high libido. I can also see how it could be distressing and quite inconvinient if the repulsion is strong enough to affect day-to-day life (such as people getting physically sick at seeing a sexualized commercial). I can see how it could be distressing if it’s directly related to/caused by trauma or internalized homophobia.

If someone feels like their sex-repulsion is actually negatively affecting their life, I do think they should seek help. But I think they should also reconsider whether those feelings come from within or from the outside. Do they want to change because they genuinely think sex could be something they could enjoy/because their repulsion is “too strong” to the point of stopping them from enjoying life? Or do they just want to be “normal”?

However, I think sex-repulsion can be a neutral thing. Just like being repulsed by certain foods or smells. It doesn’t need to be something that always requires “overcoming”. I’ve seen so many aces, especially young ones (either literally or those who recently recognized they’re ace) asking around if it’s OK to be sex-repulsed. If it’s “normal”. Is it “normal” as in being common and widespread? No. Is it a valid way to feel? Of course!

The previous points mostly apply to those who are sex-repulsed themselves. But sex-repulsion is also usually viewed negatively from the outsiders’ perspective.

Like it’s some kind of an “illness” that HAS to be cured.

Like it’s something pitiful that stops people from enjoying one of the “greatest pleasures life has to offer”.

Like it’s something immature that people will get over with age and “experience”.

Like it’s the same thing as sex-shaming and/or being sexually repressed - something that only “conservative housewives” feel.

P.S. To those making ace positivity/info posts, please don’t just leave the definition at “Asexuality doesn’t mean sex-repulsion!”. Sure, that isn’t the meaning of the word. But at least add “However, some asexuals are sex-repulsed and even if they’re not, some might just not be interested in sexual activity.”

[lovableace]

I am sex-repulsed but I tried some sexual things to “overcome it”/ please my ex-partner and to be a good partner despite my asexuality. And tbh, it traumatized me to a point where sex or sex-related topics trigger me (like the medical version of trigger). I was an asexual person who used to joke about it and my humor was known to be pretty dirty in all kinds. But thanks to my experience, my life has become different and I can add another trauma to my list (I have PTSD and other mental conditions, fyi). Now I’m working on gaining my power back and to become comfortable this (annoying) society again :)  However (!) I don’t see my sex-repulsion as something negative nor something to be cured, especially after I “tried to cure” myself. For me, it’s just a part of who I am and since I don’t seek romantic relationships anymore but friendships, I don’t really worry too much about it. 

[theinvisiblespoon]

Been seeing stuff about how Ace discourse has ruined many people’s lives, and how many have been recloseted because of it.

So for all those who can’t say it and all those who silenced the ace/aro community:

I identify as asexual and there’s jack shit anyone can do about it

Exclusionists? Don’t interact because I (1) don’t care and (2) don’t care, I’ve got 31 flavors of fuck you to serve and it’s best served cold

[lovableace]

I gotta say something about this ace discourse that’s going on for a while now...

Since I’m biromantic I have to choose both, dragons and cake

[lovableace]

Ace men are so valid and amazing!! And I mean ALL ace men:

- the young ace boys

- the adult ace men

- the elder ace men

- the trans* ace men

- the non-binary ace men

- the ace men of color

- the disabled ace men

- the mentally ill ace men

You’re not “broken”, you’re not less of a men and you’re not pathetic. You are amazing and I see you!

[lovableace]

TW: s*x mention

I see a lot of positive posts for ace people who still enjoy sex (which is great) so here’s my shout out to:

- Sex-repulsive Aces

- Aces who Never had sex

- Aces who Never want to have sex

- Aces who tried Sex but figured out they dont like it

- Aces who don’t mastubate

- Aces who hate Sex in the media because it’s too much

- Aces who are indifferent about Sex

- Aces who don’t understand the need of Sex

- Aces in non-sexual relationships

- Aces who are allies to every sexual orientation but don’t have sex nor want to

You’re valid, you’re not broken and you’re loved

[lovableace]

Asexual people are valid, pass it on

[lovableace]

PSA: 

Cuddles. Cuddles are awesome. 

Thank you for coming to my PSA, have a nice day.