#ace men

[a-rabbit-obsessed-queer]

Aspec men deserve much more respect and recognition in the aspec community than they receive. They often face a different form of aphobia specific to them ("men are naturally sexual they can't be ace" "all men are unromantic that's not unique") this rhetoric is spouted by many, even members of our own community and I hope for a day where that is no longer the case. As an ace and demiro woman (demigirl but that's beside the point) I want to encourage folks to take the time to give the aspec men in their lives support and to the aspec men reading, you are who you say you are no matter what people say and you deserve the world. I'm sorry for the ways in which toxic masculinity has harmed you. You are a valued member of the aspec community and the queer community as a whole. No ace or aro person is broken and neither are you. I'm sorry if anyone has ever told you otherwise.

[queer-polls]

Since there's not a lot of love for aro and/or ace and bi men, I thought that I spread some love on my blog cause all of you are great, you should be proud of who you are. You don't have to fit society's stereotype of men, just because you don't want sex/romance or you like men and women doesn't mean that you're weird in any way. Loving masculinity, no matter if it's your own or another man's, is good. You shouldn't see masculinity as a threat to society because that's not true. Not liking sex and/or romance is okay, don't listen to people telling you that you should be obsessed with sex and women. I'm so proud of every single one of you, you go guys

[submoronic-particle]

To all aroace/ace men out there, I just wanna say

I feel seen. Society (and especially the patriarchy and allo men) has always made me feel that I'm not "man enough" because Im not having primal sexual instincts of a bonobo 24/7. I've had cishet men say disgusting things about women when they were giving examples of what a "real man" should be like, or act like. Made me really feel like being a man and an asexual can never mutually exist. Jesus Christ. I genuinely thought I was alone in this.

But I'm not. There are others like me as well, and that really makes me happy. In fact, I have two moots who are exactly like me! Yall have no idea how much that makes me feel seen. I'm so glad yall are here. I love all of you.

Also this is another proof about how awful patriarchy is to not just women, but also men, especially those who are not hetero and/or allonormative.

[writersarea]

This is a reminder for my ace men out there:

you are loved

you are valid

you are an important part of our community

anyone who tells you that you’re odd for existing as an ace man is a dick and should not be listened to or spoken with

i hope you have a happy pride

your asexuality is incredible

your asexuality is masculine (if you want it to be)

your asexuality is cool

i’m proud of you

i am so glad to know you are part of this community with me

[queerplatonicpositivity]

[ Image Description: A quote image with purple-hued wet paint-like background with pale lavender text on a dark square. At the bottom is a dark purple band and the attribution: "Angela Chen, Ace: What Asexuality Reveals About Desire, Society, and the Meaning of Sex."

The quote reads: “Ace men tell me that people of all genders assume that they are secret incels who hide behind a made-up identity. Such is the trap: Even when a man doesn’t want sex, he can be lumped in with the men who will kill in their desire to have it. Men cannot be simply uninterested; there must always be something else at work.”

End Image Description ]

This is not positivity in the strictest sense, but it's really important to identify and name the societal expectations around men and sex, especially when there can be a disproportionate emphasis on women and sex.

So to add some overt positivity: It's okay to be an ace man. You don't have to have any reasons for not wanting sex other than simply not wanting it. There doesn't have to be anything else at work.

[thefairfeline]

ANTHONY PADILLA IS LOOKING FOR ASEXUAL MEN FOR A VIDEO

I am so glad he listened to the outcry and decided to make a follow up video. The lack of amab people in the original gave me a bad feeling.

[mspec-defender]

Honestly I’m really tired of people complaining about the fact that they are attracted to men. I don’t understand why you should ever have to apologize to people or justify why you are attracted to men ever. Being attracted to men isn’t something that should be shameful or wrong. This post isn’t to say that men don’t have issues, they have plenty. But to treat men as some large monolith and hive mind isn’t the best way to go about things. Men have a wide variety of different personalities and ways of viewing life based on their own experiences. We need to be a safe person for them to open up to and not someone that shuts them down or devalues them or their experiences as men. So to reiterate it is okay to be attracted to men and find them hot.

[giant-isopods]

men <33