irritable & alive, flawed but still good.

there is so much more in you than you can bear. open pandora's box of your own flaws & feelings, find the hope within, to live for tomorrow---simply because you deserve to live & love yourself by virtue of being human. it is your only birthright.

[loveablehands]

** pinned post. // you are GOOD!

introduction. you can call me lucky! i’m a 25 y/o he/him lesbian. this is a multi-muse account for everything that interests me from many fandoms, focused on HEADCANONS, DYNAMIC BUILDING, and CURATING POSITIVITY & GROWTH, CREATIVITY & GOOD VIBES. 

you may know me from @delusionland​ . ultimately, i decided that i needed a fresh start from simply criticizing and refurbishing media that was solely about superheroes & americana---a space where i felt i could also unwind with friends, liveblog my opinions on the various media featured on this blog, and in general curate more of a vibe where i’m actively thinking not only about what i want CANON to be, but the kind of person & writer i want to be, free of themed constraint besides the general vibe i want to give off---that everyone deserves to love themselves and take care of themselves by virtue of being a human being. that everyone is flawed, and imperfect, irritable, confused, achey, more than a little overwhelmed---and that is loveable. i hope we live. i hope we both live, stranger in the night. hand in loveable hand.

this blog features many triggers and things people may find upsetting. 

for my comfort, i will only be following blogs that are 18+. 

i tag major triggers, but may forget sometimes. feel free to politely remind me. key word: politely.

general themes on this blog include all flavors sizes shapes and colors of abuse, mental illness, suicidality, and the explored impact of a world of structural oppression on the human psyche. 

i also play cruella de ville and happen to love the new cruella movie, so do with that information what you will. (aka animal cruelty warning.)

on occasion, i participate in writing erotica with those who are close to me, and often make sexual jokes & innuendo!!!!! 

if any of these things upset you---feel free to not follow, blacklist my url, block me, whatever you gotta do. your dash is your safe space. keep it safe. don’t follow me if i make you uncomfy.

i am DUPLICATE, multi-muse, mcu / dceu-based, canon divergent AND canon compliant, pre-establishing relationships & plotting relationships out before a thread, OC, and OC multi FRIENDLY! [wipes sweat off brow bc that was a LONG SENTENCE.]

thank you for checking my little blog out. i hope you enjoy your stay <3 and even if we don’t mesh, if our paths should part in this snowy stormy wood---well, know that you still deserve to get out of bed in the morning, take up space, drink clean water, breathe fresh air & thrive as much as you possibly can. live. thrive. etc.

LINKS.

rules. / muses. / carrd. / mains. / memes. / fandom checkers.

[loveablehands]

so i wanna come back but AS ALWAYS its super awkward to come back and i dont know whose interested in restarting things so in ur opinions honestly tbh should i remake or just rebrand [fucked up thinking face]

luckily i have ideas for new aesthetics bc psychonauts 2 (always i will be adding psychonauts characters bc of course i will LMAO)

i also just have like, ideas in general... a different sparking of muses... different thoughts.. i feel like it’s been at least a month (possibly a lot longer time is fake) since i touched this blog and tbh i feel like a new evolution of myself with a clearer mind & palate & interest in writing more psych-bending things... persona 4/5 and psychonauts esque... people going tru generic jrpg heaven final level or dungeon menshi type deals and the emotional reprocussions of such things... idk i wanna feel like we’re writing something in the middle of the greatest and most climactic part of their life or the most grueling monotonous trial and tribulation part of it and also the fallout of that... idk [thinking]

what do yall think. it’ll be all the same old fandoms and things just more specific focus on the characters i truly want to capture and commit to climaxes.

rebrand, or remake?

[loveablehands]

i saw a post that was like ‘men don’t need therapy. they just need to sit outside in their car for twenty minutes after work before going inside’ and that’s how bruce wayne feels and that’s why in every dcau movie u see him in his costume with the cowl off all sweaty drinking tea or whatever instead of inside the actual manor chilling like a well-adjusted person would

[loveablehands]

u may think batman is supposed to be cool or badass or possibly even fascist but in reality he is my poor little meow meow coded

[loveablehands]

podcast au where our characters are two best friends who try to make a podcast abt their favorite movies and they fight every episode abt movies bc they have opposite tastes but this is how they fall in love

[loveablehands]

sorry i keep disappearing i have mental illness!

[loveablehands]

reblog memes so i can send memes [water gun emoji]

[loveablehands]

i feel like i write this on every blog but sokka was like one of my first ever trans hcs. he really is uncomfortable with being percieved a woman and doing woman’s work especially bc there are NO OTHER MEN AROUND to the detriment of his relationship with katara and its only when he meets suki that he realizes ‘no its not just my little sister being angry as hell at me for not doing my own laundry (because i’m depressed) i really do need to shape up’ and he becomes more confident and creative bc of suki and her competence and willingness to fuck with societal roles

he wouldn’t able to be the leader and genius he becomes if he was still stifled by the thoughts of being exactly as cool and ‘manly’ as his father? he becomes his own man and his own type of man, sometimes anxious and awkward and almost always silly and definitely always sarcastic, but more fluid and innocent in his ideas, in the way he is tricky and smart and not always commanding. he finds literal loopholes and he’s clever and thinks on his feet in ways other people don’t and he does so because he allows himself to be more than JUST the man and the warrior and the wolf / alpha male he thought he wanted to be

he’s a unique original. and he’ll always be my favorite. even more than toph who is my second favorite ;_;

[loveablehands]

i gotta clean up this blog and add and remove some muses and do my shit buttttttt

short-ish starter call (anywhere from 1-line to 3 paras) for the following dc muses:

kory anders. (hc + new titans based.) / bruce wayne. (hc + new earth based.) / jason todd. (hc+ mixed media based) / cleo cazo. (the suicide squad based.) / conner kent. ( hc + new earth based.) / cass cain ( hc + new earth based. ) / roy harper. ( new earth + hc based.) 

and the following marvel muses:

gambit. (comics based) / red guardian. (mcu based)

[loveablehands]

ive just been reading a frankly insane amount of comics and rping on discord if u wanna add me on discord hit up my ims! <3 <3 <3 just to chat or to make us a server for just us two to rp on!

[loveablehands]

life is kicking my ass yall

[loveablehands]

NYOOM!

[loveablehands]

i have many problems with neil g*iman’s writing, however, 1602, this marvel miniseries where the marvel characters are all located in britian during 1602, is the funniest shit i’ve ever read

scott summers name is ‘scottius summerisle’ and peter parker’s au self is introduced by him looking at a spider in a tavern before sir nicholas fury takes him away LOL

[loveablehands]

cass cain is the lesbian gender representation that the batfam deserves... she shall be the best batman one day... In My Heart....

[arkhitektorarch]

𝙱𝙻𝙰𝙲𝙺 𝚆𝙸𝙳𝙾𝚆 [ 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟷 𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙼 ] 𝚀𝚄𝙾𝚃𝙴𝚂 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴.

contains spoilers.   trigger warnings:   mentions of guns, death, pain, wounds

“  get up. you’re okay.  ”

“  your pain only makes you stronger.  ”

“  i don’t wanna go.  ”

“  you remember when i told you that one day we would have that big adventure? well, today’s the day.  ”

“  [  insert name  ], you’ve got blood on you.  ”

“  please, please, i beg you. no more undercover work.  ”

“  never let them take your heart.  ”

“  you’re gonna need to hand me that gun.  ”

“  you’re embarrassing yourself. it looks desperate.  ”

“  i wouldn’t worry about me.  ”

“  you’re in my bed.  ”

“  [ …] got passports, entry visas, a couple of local drivers licenses… mix and match. you should be able to stretch it to twenty or so identities.  ”

“  i’m actually better on my own.  ”

“  you can tell me, you know. that’s the way the whole friends thing works.  ”

“  i know you’re out there.  ”

“  so, we gonna talk like grown ups?  ”

“  put it down before i make you.  ”

“  i’m not here trying to be your friend, but you need to tell me what that is.  ”

“  i don’t wanna be here. i’m on the run. you could’ve gotten me killed.  ”

“  you don’t actually believe that, do you?  ”

“  if you’re so sure, then, tell me what happened.  ”

“  don’t move. you’re hurt. let me help you.  ”

“  do you believe me now?  ”

“ so, you want me to chase him down and un-steal it?  ”

“  you got a plan or shall i just stay duck-and-cover?  ”

“  that’s a shit plan.  ”

“  great plan. i love the part where i almost bled to death.  ”

“  the truth rarely makes sense when you omit key details.  ”

“  where did you think i was all this time?  ”

“  i was trying to actually do something good.  ”

“  what is your story?  ”

“  i never let myself be alone long enough to think about it.  ”

“  you’re going to give me some big hero speech, i can feel it.  ”

“  that sounds like a shitload of work.  ”

“  the point is, i’ve never had control over my own life before, and now i do.  ”

“  i like your vest.  ”

“  i thought you were supposed to be the best. like a real pro.  ”

“  i take exception to impugning my professionalism.  ”

“  you are sensitive.  ”

“  you’re a very annoying individual.  ”

“  are you calling me a liar,  [  insert name  ],  huh?  ”

“  just don’t make a scene.  ”

“  we’re both doing a really good job.  ”

“  this would be a cool way to die.  ”

“  you don’t have to get so clinical and nasty.  ”

“  it means so much to me that you came back for me.  ”

“ whoa, look at you, huh. all business.  ”

“  you cannot kill a fox that swift.  ”

“  i swear, if i hear one more word from him, i will kick him in the face.  ”

“  let’s have a drink.  ”

“  hey, no funny business.  ”

“  you’re just as beautiful and as supple as the day they staged our marriage.  ”

“  please don’t do that.  ”

“  finding  [  insert name  ]  is not a fantasy. it’s unfinished business.  ”

“  okay, you’ve made your point. that’s enough.  ”

“  now you go back, back home where it’s safe.  ”

“  shut up! you are an idiot.  ”

“  in my heart, i am simple man.  ”

“  that wasn’t real. who cares?  ”

“  don’t say that. please, don’t say that. it was real. it was real to me.  ”

“  the best part of my life was fake.  ”

“  and those agents you chemically subjugated around the globe? that was me.  ”

“  i came in here because i didn’t want to talk.  ”

“  i wish i could believe that you cared.  ”

“  i’ve always found it best not to look into the past.  ”

“  those walls are all i know.  ”

“  i was never given a choice.  ”

“  tell me, how did you keep your heart?  ”

“  what you taught me kept me alive.  ”

“  there is a reason why i’m telling you this, okay? trust me.  ”

“  you have done nothing but tell me how bored you were. i was the chore, the job you didn’t want to do. to me? to me, you were everything.  ”

“  my god. look at you.  ”

“  this is a much less cool way to die.  ”

“  now, now. don’t go breaking my new toy.  ”

“  i need you to know that i’m sorry.  ”

“  you know, i thought i was being very brave. possibly the bravest. but i wasn’t being brave. i was coward.  ”

“  you couldn’t have told me sooner?  ”

“  don’t throw a fit.  ”

“  you are aware that you’re still a global fugitive, yes?  ”

“  is this your haunted past?  ”

“  i want to break something.  ”

“  so, what now? you’re gonna fold me into your pathetic little puppeteer act?  ”

“  when was the last time that you had a conversation with somebody that wasn’t forced to talk to you?  ”

“  you didn’t fight in the shadows. you hid in the dark.  ”

“  real power comes from undetectable influence.  ”

“  if i don’t tell you when to stop, then how will you know when to shut up?  ”

“  come on. think i can’t take a punch?  ”

“  you seem desperate to impress me.  ”

“  oh, you find this amusing?  ”

“  i don’t wanna hurt you. you don’t wanna hurt me.  ”

“  that looks like it hurts. okay. i take out on three. ready?  ”

“  you get to make your own choices now.  ”

“  we gotta get out of here.  ”

“  i know you’re still in there and i’m not gonna leave you, okay?  ”

“  this was fun!  ”

“  i should’ve come back for you.  ”

“  you don’t have to say that.  ”

“  you got something to say?  ”

“  we can’t split up! you’re so pigheaded.  ”

“  okay, well, if you’re leaving, i guess you should take this. i know how much you like it.  ”

“  hey, you take care of yourself, okay?  ”

“  see what i can get you with a bit of time and money?  ”

“  go on, say it. i wanna hear it. it would really be good for me to hear it. really.  ”

“  i’ve got your next target. i thought i’d hand deliver it.  ”

[loveablehands]

“Don’t go around doing whatever you feel like. It causes problems. And not just for me. For everyone.” slaade

Slade drawls, but all the time they've spent together inside his head betrays the fact that he chooses his words carefully, each vocal inflection made of all-knowing honey, whiskey and silk, heady and sly, half-cocked in its attempt at sweetness.

"No matter how logical my plans, no matter how delicately I explain them to you, you are going to resent me, Joe. It makes me question if your heart's really in this." It's not. It's obviously not. Joe has a violent streak, and Slade can prey on that, Slade can use that, but he can't change the boy from what he is. Still, Slade lays it on thick, like Joey is a child again, and Slade is whispering him back to sleep over a bottle, making excuses for coming home so late and yet waking him up trying to watch him look so angelic and peaceful, golden sheep curls and soft, cherub cheeks, the green eyes that look a little too green and nuclear in the night, full of worry.

Slade powerset only makes him a better fighter, a better thinker. But he doesn't need Joey's contact abilities to get into his own child's head, play on their insecurities, their latent need for validation all but bred into every human being. It's a parent's greatest power, the shittiest parent's greatest weapon.

"I don't expect you to trust me." A lie. A large part of him wonders how his naturally sweetest child has turned so sour---and blames everyone but himself for it. "But there's no reason to make it more difficult to work together."

[loveablehands]

mobius write-up:

here’s what i genuinely think. mobius was a private investigator in miami in the 70s. once a cop, he was genuinely unsettled by the inner workings of the police force. he retired to the beach as earl as he could, but still needed enough money to pay rent. he lived the older gay gentleman beach bum lifestyle, enjoying his life and taking cases when he needed to, saving up to buy a jet ski----until he got involved on a case that would’ve led him to a certain loki variant (sylvie), hiding in a small town floridian doomsday. mobius didn’t have to catch her to cause a cataclysmic event--it was simply her life entwining with his, however vaguely, that caused his personal timeline to break.

it was a small, inconsequential thing, mobius’s life. he had some friends--and lovers, but he hadn’t really found his place in the world. he was satisfied with normal, everyday things, wanted very little for himself outside of his means. the tva gave him a purpose that he lacked, and while that wasn’t home in a sense, either---his cop history, his acceptance of small things, his connection to sylvie making him naturally more adept for finding lokis in the future, made him the perfect candidate for the field, and he worked well with others enough to carve out a place for himself, as shallow and meaningless as it seemed, even to him. that was alright. life on earth seemed in many ways the same. the monotony of everyday life as a human---was what made the tva make sense.

finding loki became a passion, just as jet skis did. it was more interesting than human life, which he instinctually did not truly want, as it had provided very little for him except for companionship and wonderful sights, which he frankly saw more of as a tva worker. but lokis were a spark of magic & chaos in a dull and organized world. lokis are dazzling, charismatic, wonderful in their trickery and terrors. it felt good, to take them down. any attraction to any lokis was beaten down in his psyche. tva workers are functionally celibate for thousands of time frozen years. there is no aging---or sleep. meal times, the magazines stacking up on his desk, and missions were the only break from this new monotony. and loki’s permeating sexuality, their adventure, and the adventure of taking them down---well, you can see why it would be appealing in a world and a timeline that never changed, that seemed to go on forever and then some.

in a way mobius was always fascinated with people like loki. in his human life---he was always most drawn to the flamboyant & more femnine men & gender-non-conforming people.

loki was the piece that was always missing. in many ways, that made mobius even more intent in tracking all of them down & ‘killing’ them. it just made sense to kill off that part of urself, that attraction, when it was not supposed to exist. it was also the only way he could be part of the variants world. experience magic, only thru the journey into mystery, and then... cut it off, and be safe, and quiet, and alone again.