Thoughts

within myself

[loveandwishes]

Hi Ranj~

You're 29. I can't believe you're 29 years old already, and you've been through so much that has changed, broken, and nurtured you into the woman you are today. You is who are for all of it.

As an adult you already know at this point that it is the most difficult thing at your age to do things even when you are unhappy, in pain, or mourning since no one else cares. Life doesn't care, so keep going till you discover your light.

However, if you no longer have the energy to deal with all negativity, leave it. Do not exhaust yourself or struggle only to maintain your sense of peace.

Allow yourself to be proud of all the unseen progress you've achieved. I hope you continue to build a life for yourself despite the wounds that refuse to close. Always remember yourself that your life right now is the result of answered prayers while you wait for the next one. Always keep gratitude in your heart at all times. So, be kind with the person you are right now; the little Randja from 5 years, 10 years, or 20 years ago is wishing for your success and happiness.

One day you'll learn that it's not about the big things, but about the little things that make you smile, the tiny moments that feels magical, and the true experiences that fill your heart with delight. Little acts of generosity and compassion from others around you made you feel like you were living a happy life. Let that be enough.

This will be your final 20s before entering your 30s, so conclude this chapter with joy and thankfulness. So take a deep breath, and if you need to slow down, do so. Discover your inner path and appreciate it.

I'll be rooting for you!

[loveandwishes]

Maybe I was really born to live miserably. I cant even feel any genuine happiness without worrying that afterwards.

[loveandwishes]

I'm scared

I'm scared to know. Why can't I live w/o worries. why?

[thepeacefulgarden]

[loveandwishes]

It's my 1 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

[thehopefulquotes]

“The fact that I’m silent doesn’t mean I have nothing to say.”

— Jonathan Carroll

[thehopefulquotes]

“The moon is a loyal companion. It never leaves. It’s always there, watching, steadfast, knowing us in our light and dark moments, changing forever just as we do. Every day it’s a different version of itself. Sometimes weak and wan, sometimes strong and full of light. The moon understands what it means to be human. Uncertain. Alone. Cratered by imperfections.”

— Tahereh Mafi, Shatter Me

[highladyraven]

I feel so empty. All the time. I just want it to stop.

[destroyymee]

what am I supposed to do with my life? I can’t even make simple decisions.

[thestralboy]

I never asked to be born

[thehopefulquotes]

“She doesn’t want to hear that she is flawless. She wants to hear that she is loved regardless of her flaws.”

— charmingwinds

[loveandwishes]

I feel like I'm almost at the end of my own road

I'm at a loss for what to do. I try not to be pessimistic and live a happy life. But I'm already exhausted from trying to find something that will make this life worthwhile. I'm gradually removing people from my life. Keep myself within my own comfort bubble so that I do not feel disappointed or rejected. But my heart hurts… I'm not sure if I can hang on any longer.

[mentalquotes]

[loveandwishes]

The last few months have been filled with worries and doubts. Full of things I've decided to let go of and people I must say good bye to.  Woke up this morning with my head in pain. Take my maintenance med, that ive been taking for 13years now. (Cancer is really fxking sucks, y'know.. hope my kidney is okay.).

I have so many plans for myself.. go to med school or apply for master Or study another program but my lazy and unhealthy body just stop doing anything whatsoever, and it sucks.

My body hormones is not cooperating with me nowadays. So whenever I'm sad, I just watch sad kdramas and yt videos to give myself an excuse to cry for nothing. (idk, It felt so good after🤣)

Uncertainties abound in my head. Me, who used to be full of dreams... now sick of moving forward. My vision seems like it being obscured by a fog, and feels like im standing in the middle of nothing. Things begin to move slowly, despite the fact that everyone around me is moving at blistering pace.

Someone might say, "You're such a whiner." yup... I am, and I am allowing my estrogen, serotonin, dopamine and norepinephrine in me to be dramatic and MAO-A to rule my brain for a short while. 🙃

Im not usually like this, most of the time, I keep it to myself and take care of my own healing, but I just want to allow myself this time.

It was exhausting, somewhat happy, and mostly boring. Today, I'll drowned my head with so many thoughts, a gift to myself.

Anyway, another year for me to win, lose, and try. Hopefully a year better and happier.. this time.

Wish? hope my backache will be a little nicer to me.

to many more, atleast, a mini adventures...

Ranj

[thehopefulquotes]

“It’s never too late to change the road you’re on.”

— Unknown

[loveandwishes]

I wish I have the courage.

[loveandwishes]

“Science is making progress day by day. And there’s no perfect crime in this world. So you’ll never get away with this ” – Inspector Hayoung

“I was wrong to expect that the devil would have feelings. He has no emotions. All he cares about is comforting himself and justifying his actions.” – Inspector Hayoung

I've been waiting the release of this series since I first learned about it. Not only because Kim Namgil plays the main lead, but also because it's a story about the Korea's first Criminal profiler.

The drama is incredibly deep, and you can sense it in every episode. The obstacles they encountered while analyzing each and every crime, the solution they achieved, and everything else that happened in this drama was fascinating to witness. I must mention Kim Nam Gil's performance as Song Ha Young. Investigating and interacting with these heinous criminals was exhausting. You can actually feel his psychological shifts and struggles, and he absolutely nails it in every scenario.

What Through the Darkness excels at is portraying a wide range of realistic characters with authentic flaws who are never over-the-top stereotypes. We can see how some of them are ambitious, prejudiced, and corrupted, but there is a practical limit to their shortcomings and how far they will go based only on these traits.

And, because technology wasn't as advanced at the time, and people were sceptical of criminal profiling, the CBAT had a lot of work to do to prove its worth. It shows how hard they had to strive in order to work on a case. And at the end, you'll see how far they've come, and believe me, it was sooooo gratifying.

The entire execution of this drama, including director, writing, and performance, is undoubtedly excellent. So even if this show appears to be beyond your typical likes, I encourage you to give it a shot. You will not be disappointed.

Recommended

Done

[loveandwishes]

When I'm in pain or struggling, I don't usually ask for help. Most of the time, I keep it to myself and resolve it on my own. I take care of my own healing. I don't want anyone to feel burdened as a result of my existence. Because I think that when it comes to sorrows and sufferings, the only person I can rely on is myself.