If there’s one thing to start with, it’s that we don’t know each other. I don’t know what your life has been like, and you don’t know about mine. I think it’s sad that without knowing each other, our interactions have been so toxic.
I will agree with you on a few things that you have said, that we have only met a few times and I’ve been nothing but nice to you. However, in those very few times we’ve interacted they have all been unpleasant. It ranges from you telling me “your life would be better if you had a better attitude”, unprovoked at C’s birthday. Continuously you have found it okay to openly criticize me, and my life. You mentioned how you wanted our interactions to be more positive, which is ironic because in January you completely disregarded my presence.
As you’ve said before you moved away to better your life. Well, for me it’s that I don’t need anyone in my life that can blatantly disrespect me and those that I love. On multiple occasions you have done so, and I have tried so hard to imagine what you must be going through to act in such a disgusting manner. However, no matter how many excuses I try to find for you, it’s not worth my peace. On multiple occasions you have tried to “apologize”, but it ends up being more of paragraphs about why your behavior and actions are valid. Apologies are statements about mistakes we have made, and our effort to not make them again. You have proven that you have no intention of changing your behavior. The multiple phone calls of you clearly disrespecting me have proven it. Think of it this way, if someone cheated and said sorry but continued to do it, would you believe they’re actually sorry? I know I wouldn’t, because if they were genuinely apologetic and sincere they wouldn’t do it again.
I don’t think you’re a bad person, I know that deep down there’s gotta be something going on to make you act or be this way. However it’s not my responsibility to make you acknowledge or do something about it. That’s all up to you. What is up to me, is protecting my well being. I am protecting my well being by not responding to your messages because it’s not worth my energy. It’s not worth my inner peace to go back and forth with you about how hurtful and disrespectful you’ve been towards me these past few years. It’s even more disturbing that you felt it necessary to bring the death of my father into this, and how it should make me more “understanding”. I don’t know about you, but that is never okay. I would never bring up how losing your mother should make you feel or be any type of a way. You have zero right to speak about my experience with loss, or to use that as a reason in validating your actions.
If there’s one thing I must say, it’s that I love L so much. He means more to me than I can even put into words. You don’t know me, but I’ve raised enough children to the point where I won’t voluntarily do it. L’s decisions are all his own. I tell him how I feel about things, but I never tell him what to do. It hurts me to know how L feels. He loves you so much, but hates how you treat me. We both hate how things have been. I do hope that one day things change, and this isn’t forever. Just know that he loves you, and it’s not that he wants to do this. Just like me, he cannot tolerate what has been going on.
I hope that you are well, and it stays that way.
