pairing : bf! james zhao x horny gf! fem! reader
content warning : smut, mdni, 18+ content, established relationship, very horny and needy reader, strict boyfriend! james, no contact, just humping, no penetration
word count : 2,913 words 16,849 characters
"just two lovebirds waiting for marriage ⋆˚꩜｡☁️"
you and james were ridiculously in love.
five dates and that's all it took before he asked you to be his girlfriend, and of course you said yes. the first kiss you had with him was still lingering on your lips, soft and almost shy. but after that, you couldn't keep your hands off each other…
you two made out everywhere. the photobooth at the mall, curtains pulled shut, his hands on your waist while the flash went off. the back corner of the movie theater, his fingers tangled in your hair, your heart pounding so loud you swore people could hear. on his couch after movie nights, bodies tangled together, kissing until you were both breathless and dizzy.
you always cuddled after movie nights always, with his strong arms around you, drawing lazy circles on your hip, your cheek on his chest listening to his heartbeat slow down. jamesie would kiss your forehead, your temple, the corner of your mouth, murmuring how beautiful you were, how much he adores you.
and you adored him too. god, you wanted him.
you learned exactly where to touch james. the spot behind his ear that made him shiver, the way he groaned when you bit his lip just right. his hands knew you just as well, slipping under your shirt, spanning your waist, pulling you closer.
but the two of you always stopped. james always reminded you about the conversation you two had about sex. no sex before marriage. you both agreed on it, wanted it, believed in it. but sometimes, when you were deep in it with his mouth hot on your neck, his body pressed flush against yours, your heart hammering in your ears… you'd feel yourself spiral, arousal pooling in your panties without him noticing, your hips moving on their own, seeking friction, seeking more.
and james always noticed that, every little squirm his girlfriend makes. then he'd pull back suddenly, breathing hard, his eyes dark and glassy. he'd seal the makeout session with one hasty, chaste kiss on your lips and it was almost businesslike, then james would roll onto his back, staring at the ceiling, hands folded over his chest like he was trying to hold himself together.
then there’s you, feeling the rejection sink in slow and sharp despite everything. you were the one who suggested waiting in the first place, and you were the one who wanted this. james was just doing his job, honoring the promise, being good.
but god, in those moments, you hated him for it a little.
hate wasn't right, but moreof you hated yourself because of it. hated how your body betrayed what your mind wanted, hated that you made him responsible for stopping when you clearly couldn't.
last night was no different.
you were on his bed after watching a movie, the tv screen was the only lights on, his mouth on yours like he was drowning and you were his air. it was one of that kind of kisses, hungry and desparate, it had been building for weeks. the tension, the wanting, the way you both went closer to the edge every time. his hands were under your shirt, rough and warm, and you were arching into him, breath coming in short gasps, your body speaking louder than your mind.
you reached for his belt. your fingers fumbled, clumsy with need, and you felt james freeze.
james pulled back, his hand tight caught your wrist, you saw it in his eyes before he even said anything — that same strict resolve, that same wall.
“baby, didn’t we already talked about this before?”
you kept reaching anyway, all because your body was on fire. your pussy was screaming for him, and you almost didn't care about the promise, didn't care about the waiting, you just wanted him now. was it because it was making you so horny? because the neediness was enough for you to forget your morals.
james suddenly flips you down to the bed, your back hits the mattress, breath knocked out of you. and for a second, you almost thought you had him. you arch up, offering, begging without words. but james lets go and pushes off you, and you felt the cold rush in where his warmth was.
you watch disappointedly as he grabs the blankets, then suddenly he's wrapping you with it, a cocoon of fleece and cotton, your arms pinned to your sides, your legs bound together. he tucks the edges under you like he's swaddling a baby, like you're something to be contained, protected from yourself.
“bad. horny girlfriend.” james tches at you playfully. you stare up at him with begging eyes, arousal still thrumming painful and unmet between your legs. you can't touch him like this, can't reach for him, can't tempt him or yourself.
he presses one hard kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering, his breath shaky against your skin.
"nice try though." he murmurs, and turns off the light and sleeps on the other side of the bed. you lie there, wrapped up and furious and so turned on you could scream, listening to him settle on the other side of the bed, as far from you as the mattress allows.
the morning came and you successfully got off the tight cocoon that loosened throughout the night. you went to the kitchen to drink some water because apparently you were still angry and frustrated with last night. your body still hummed with unspent need, your skin too sensitive, your mind replaying the rejection on loop.
you stormed back to the bedroom and still found james sleeping comfortably like an angel. chest rising slow and steady, face soft and unguarded, one arm thrown over his head. he looked somehow peaceful and innocent, like he hadn't left you wound tight and desperate like a devil monster just hours before.
like a thief, you made your way to his sleeping form. you climbed onto the bed, knees sinking into the mattress beside his hips, and straddled his lap. you hovered there and began watching him breathe, feeling the heat of him through the thin fabric of his boxers, your sleep shorts doing nothing to hide how much you still wanted him.
you leaned down and planted the softest, faintest kisses all over his cute sleepy face. jamie’s temple, jamie’s cheekbone, jamie’s corner of his mouth, jamie’s jaw. all featherlight and barely there, the kind of kisses that felt like tiny secrets. you traced his features with your lips, mapping him in the gray morning light, your anger melting into something softer, something needier.
he stirred beneath you, eyelids fluttering with a sleepy hum vibrating in his chest. his hands found your hips instinctively, gripping loose and warm, still half-drowned in dreams.
"mm?" he mumbled dumbly, eyes still closed, tilting his face toward you like a flower seeking sun. "s' that you?"
you didn't answer, and just kept kissing him. teasing, never quite giving him the full thing. you felt him hardening beneath you, his body waking up faster than his mind, you rocked down just slightly and testing, seeking friction for the nth time. because there’s nothing more mind challenging to men other than a morning wood where their adorable dumb brains still couldn’t process things. james’ fingers half-awakedly tightened on your waist. his eyes opened a little more, dark and confused and still heavy with sleep. and when the realization hit, his jaw tightened.
his hands moved to your shoulders instead, gentle but firm, holding you back from leaning in again.
"hey." he said, voice rough with sleep. "i told you. we can’t.”
“huh? we’re not? who said anything about having sex?”
you feigned innocence, your voice dripping with artificial confusion, but then you couldn't help yourself. you let out a soft desperate whine and rolled your hips down, feeling the hard line of his erection straining against his boxers, pressing right against your flimsy, soaked panties.
and that friction made you both gasp.
james's fingers dug into your hips with his knuckles turning white, his whole body going rigid beneath you. "don't-!" he warned, but his voice cracked, betraying how close he was to the edge himself.
"don't what? don’t do this?" you breathed, rocking again, slower this time, torturing yourself with the pressure. you leaned down until your lips brushed his ear, your voice dropping to a whisper that trembled with need. "don't feel how much you want me, jjami? don't you feel how wet i am for you?"
james’ chest heaved, his eyes squeezing shut like he could block out the temptation if he just didn't look. "you're playing dirty, my love." he gritted out.
"no i'm not." you countered, and there was real hurt in your voice now, vulnerability cracking through the seductive facade. "i just want you… and, i love you. why does loving you with my body have to be wrong?" you whined ever so reverently, and that whine went straight to his dick. you felt it twitch and it immediately poked your entrance, sending jolts of electrifying pleasure through your clothed core.
it made james groan so hard, his fingers dug crescent moons into your skin, his head falling back against the pillow, eyes squeezed shut as if he could somehow shut out the temptation.
"let me hump you, jamesss…" you reasoned, your voice barely above a whisper, trembling with how badly you needed this. "let me hump you pleassee..." you begged your boyfriend, rolling your hips in a slow, teasing circle that made you both gasp.
james looked so strained, his jaw tight, his face flushed a deep crimson, pupils blown wide with lust. he stared up at you like you were both his salvation and his ruin, ‘you really are so different when horny…’ he whispered to himself, almost in awe, watching how your eyes had gone dark and hazy, how your lips were parted, swollen from his kisses.
then, with a shaky exhale that sounded like surrender, james gave in. "okay, fine baby." his voice was rough, gravelly, thick with arousal. "but we take turns to be fair, okay?" he asks, his thumbs stroking soothing patterns against your hip bones even as his body betrayed his eagerness, arching up into you. "your turn first. then mine."
you immediately nod, eager and trembling, your hands bracing against his bare chest, feeling his heart hammering beneath your palms. "yes, yes, okay." you rushed out, already shifting your weight, positioning yourself so that your aching center aligned perfectly with the hard ridge of him straining through his boxers.
"easy…" james murmured, his hands guiding your hips, his touch gentle despite the tremor in his fingers. "go slow, okay? let me feel you."
you lowered yourself fully, pressing down until there was nothing between you but the thin layers of fabric, and the contact made you cry out, your head falling back, hair cascading down your shoulders. he was so hard, so hot, and the pressure against your clit was exquisite torture after weeks of denial.
"oh god!" you whimpered, grinding experimentally, a slow, deliberate roll that had sparks shooting up your spine. "james, you feel so good..." it was like a cry.
"shit-" he hissed, his hands moving to grip the sheets beside him, knuckles white, his whole body tense as he fought to stay still, to let you take what you needed. "that's it, baby. take your time… use me."
and you did. you set a rhythm, rocking against him in slow, sinuous movements, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. the friction was perfect, delicious, building that coil tight in your belly.
"this feels so nice-!" you panted, your hips moving faster now, chasing the release that had been denied to you for so long. "james! i'm so close already, i—i haven’t even barely-!"
"let go." he encouraged, his voice strained, his hips bucking up to meet your movements, adding pressure exactly where you needed it. "i've got you. cum for me, sweetheart. cum on my cock."
his words sent you over the edge, your orgasm crashing through you like a wave, your whole body seizing up as pleasure radiated from your core outward, a sticky substance blotched your whole panties. you cried out his name, grinding down hard against him as you rode out the aftershocks, your hips jerking involuntarily, seeking every last spark of sensation.
james watched you fall apart beneath his gaze, his eyes dark and worshipful, his chest heaving with restrained need. he held you steady as you trembled, his hands moving to stroke your back, your sides, anywhere he could touch, grounding you as you came back down.
"there you go, pretty." he murmured so supportively, pressing reverent kisses to your shoulder, your collarbone, your throat. "there's my girl. so beautiful when you let go."
you collapsed against him, boneless and panting, your cheek resting on his shoulder, your body still twitching with residual pleasure. but beneath you, he was still hard, still throbbing, his hips shifting restlessly, seeking friction you'd stopped giving.
"your turn." you whispered, your voice hoarse, and you felt him tense, his hands gripping your waist.
"we don't really have too– you seem tired already, baby." james stammered, ever the gentleman, even now.
"we always keep our promises." you interrupted, pushing yourself up on trembling arms, your eyes meeting his with a stubborn glint that made his breath hitch. "and you suggested it first."
james asks again, "you sure baby? that's what you want?" he asks, more like a warning, his voice dropping an octave, eyes darkening with something dangerous and hungry. wanting that freedom.
"yes, baby. keep your end of the promise." you said sternly so ironically.
"okay baby." james says unsurely, but then his expression shifted, resolve hardening into something feral. "but don't tell me i didn't warn ya."
james grunts and immediately switches places, his strength surprising as he flips you onto your back. he roughly rips your flimsy shorts into nothing, the fabric tearing like paper and sets his big dick free for the first time. it was all so fast that you didn't get to have a good look of it, but then james has his hard cock with precum inside your wet panties, his dick slipping in your slit like a hot dog in its bun, and starts to thrust without penetration so fast and so so needy.
"oh my god!" you gasped, your back arching off the mattress as the hot, heavy length of him dragged through your folds, the head of his cock catching on your clit with every desperate snap of his hips. james came in burning hot, steel wrapped in velvet, and dick so wet already, sliding easily through the mess you'd made, your arousal coating him, making every thrust filthy and slick.
and the skin of his dick, you can feel it in your clit and its exciting you so bad.
"shit- shit!" james curses, his forehead dropping to yours, his breathing ragged against your lips. "pussy feels so nice, so wet for me."
his hands braced on either side of your head, caging you as his hips working in a relentless rhythm that had you a moaning mess. the friction was different from you humping him earlier. this was more intense, more intimate, the bare heat of him against just barely against your most sensitive spots.
"feels good?" james gritted out, his voice unrecognizable, all restraint shattered as he rutted against you like an animal, chasing his release with single-minded desperation.
"ohh yes!" you moaned , your legs wrapping around his waist, heels digging into his lower back, urging him deeper, harder. "james, please—"
he adjusted his angle slightly, and suddenly the head of his cock always hits directly against your clit on every upward thrust, the pressure perfect, relentless, driving you rapidly toward the edge again. you could feel him twitching, swelling, the vein on the underside of his cock pulsing against your slit.
"gonna cum-" he warned, his hips stuttering, losing rhythm. "baby, i'm gonna—"
"p-please cum!" you begged, your nails scoring his back, your eyes rolling back as your own orgasm built again, coiling tight and hot in your belly. "cum on me, james. please put it in!"
with a guttural broken cry, james buried his face in your neck, his hips snapping forward one last time, holding there as he spilled over hot, painting your stomach, your panties, your throbbing core with his sticky white cum. the feeling of his dick pulsing, the heat of it, the desperate sounds he made against your throat. gosh, it was too much.
james collapsed on top of you, both of you trembling, sweating, panting into each other's mouths as the aftershocks slowly faded. james was heavy and warm and perfect, his heart hammering against yours, his lips pressing sloppy, reverent kisses to your jaw, your temple, and so much love against your skin.
"no baby. i will not cum inside. after marriage, okay?”
It’s 3AM, and the studio smells like cold coffee and exhaustion.
Martin is slumped over his laptop with his elbows propped up under his chin, holding up his head like it weighs a ton. His body looks limp and fragile. He’s tired; you can see it in the way his body threatens to stop holding itself up.
The track he’s been working on endlessly repeats for the tenth time, a certain beat hitting a little too hard against his temples. He closes his eyes, furrows his brows into his hairline and lets a sigh out, the type of sigh that starts low in his chest, a slow build of air that slowly escapes.
He plays it again, and again.
He plays it so many times his head ends up fully in his hands, rubbing his eyes vigorously.
You approach quietly, because you know what Martin is like, if you try and confront him head on, he plasters a smile on his face and just says he’s fine.
But you know he’s not fine.
“Tini,” You say softly, wrapping your arms warmly around his shoulders from behind his chair. “You should take a break.”
He lets out a small, hollow chuckle. “I’m good, just finishing up, i’ll be 10 minutes.”
Your heart aches, like it’s being split straight down the middle with a saw. You know he’s overworking himself, but you also know he’s too stubborn to give up. You tighten your grip around him, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. He’s warm.
Martin overworks himself a lot, even if he denies it, you know that he does. He skips meals, misses out on sleep and locks himself inside until he’s satisfied with what he’s made. And even when he is satisfied, he will continue to listen to what he’s created over and over just in case.
“Martin, just let yourself relax for once.” You sigh against his ear.
You bury yourself in his scent, shaking your head against him.
That small gesture makes him pause. He spins his chair round, forcing you to let go of the grasp you have around him. But now, he’s looking directly at you. And the moment you make eye contact, you realise his condition is worse than you thought. His eyes are bloodshot, dark circles so bad you could mistake him for a vampire. You can’t help but notice his complexion too, he looks drained almost ghastly. His jaw is clenched tightly, like he’s been holding every single bit of stress in.
He exhales, but it comes out shaky.
“You know I can’t,” He says, voice low, like he’s afraid saying it out loud will make it come true. “The album, my schedule, the rest of the guys, everything and everyone is counting on me,” He weakly leans his head on your chest, grabbing you lightly by the hips. “What if I can’t be what everyone needs? What if i’m not a good leader, producer, boyfriend, not good at anything?”
How could he say that?
This was the love of your life, and he’s saying these things about himself. It made your chest twist with guilt, all you wanted to do was to lift just a single burden off of his shoulders, he didn’t deserve all this pressure. He’s too young.
You raise your hands up to his head, softly ruffling his hair between your fingertips.
“Hey,” You whisper, patting his head. “Look at me.”
And so he does, reluctantly, but he does.
“You’re not messing anything up ,Tini. You’re amazing. You are part of the reason why you have this amazing life and group. You care too much about everyone, don’t do this to yourself.”
His eyes ever so slightly begin to glaze over, a light film of tears covering his tired pupils. “That’s the problem,” He says, voice breaking. “It’s so hard having to be perfect for everyone.”
You can see him fighting the tears back, trying to swallow it back down.
“You don’t have to be perfect for anyone, especially me. Just be yourself, that’s more than I could have ever asked for in life,” You move your hands down, rubbing his shoulders. “I promise.”
He stands up weakly out of his chair, towering over you. Out of nowhere, he recklessly throws his arms around you, collapsing into you like you’re the only thing in the world that can hold him up.
“I’m scared i’ll let you down.” He mumbles against your hair.
“You won’t,” You whisper into his chest. “You’re my everything, it’s impossible for you to let me down. If anything, I’ll be the one to let you down.”
He rests his chin delicately on the apex of your head. “I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t ever say that.” You pull back just enough to look up at him, shooting him a hurt look. “I love you, even when you’re the sleep deprived, dramatic, 3AM Martin.”
That gets a choked out laugh out of him.
Yet through the laughter, a solemn tear rolls down his cheek; a tear that threatens to escapes.
“Oh, Tini.” You sigh.
This time, you pull him in, gripping your arms tightly around his waist. You plant your head on his chest, hearing the faint sound of his heartbeat thumping against your ear. Even his heart sounds tired.
He strokes the back of your head in careful strokes, like he’s scared of damaging you.
“I’ll be okay, i’m okay,” He sniffles. “I’ll always be okay if i’m with you.”
“Martin you know i’ll always be here, but I need you to know when to stop too. I can’t stand seeing you overwork yourself to exhaustion like this. I know you’re not alright.”
His heartbeat rises.
“I’ll do my best for us, okay?” Martin mutters.
“I’m only okay if you’re okay too,” You reply. “So don’t push yourself this hard.”
“I’m scared if I don’t, I’ll fail. I’ll fail at everything, what’s the point of being a leader if I can’t even take care of myself?”
“You’ve been given this role because you’re more than capable of taking care of yourself, you take care of everyone, and that’s something not a lot of people can do. That’s why you’re so loved, your fans love you, your members love you, I love you.”
He looks up, refusing to look at the precious being he was holding as if one glance would break him completely. And for a while, his eyes stayed locked on the ceiling, blinking fast, like he could blink away the sting in his eyes before it all spilled. You could hear him breathing heavily through his nose, each inhale slow and measured yet every exhale shaky at the edges. He holds the pain in his chest.
“Do you think I have what it takes?” He asks weakly.
With all the courage he has in him, he looks down at you.
You reach up on your tiptoes, taking his head in your hands, brushing his cheek delicately. Martin leans into your touch like he’d forgotten how to breathe and you were the only source of air. A sound comes from his throat - raw and fragile, his words threatening to not come out.
“You have more than what it takes,” you reply whilst stroking his warm cheeks. “I see the way you stay up late, perfecting these songs, I see the way you take the blame when things go wrong, I see you. I see all of you.”
A delicate smile broke through despite his stress, it was shaky and crooked but it was real. A real, genuine smile from Martin.
“I love you.” He says.
“I love you too.”
Slowly, he crouches over and leaves a gentle, soft kiss on your forehead. And just through his kiss, you can tell he means every word he says. This boy loves you more than anything, and you can feel it too.
“Thank you, for seeing me.”
You promise to always see him, every single part of him.
➪ summary : you disappear hours after a concert, your family reports you missing but the company states that you left voluntarily. cctv shows differently. nothing makes sense, especially with everyone moving on so fast.
➪ other notes : very heavily based on kpop lost footage and analog horror <3 this is my first time posting something like very horror related so im a little nervous but im actually happy with this. creds to @/norvixa6 and @/rnbrednblue on tiktok for making awesome analog horror.
“breaking news : y/n l/n from hit kpop group cortis has officially been reported missing by her family this morning. authorities have confirmed that the idol was last seen was on CCTV footage at 2 : 39 in the morning, just hours after cortis concluded their concert last night. in the footage, y/n was wearing the same stage outfit she had performed in earlier that evening. the grainy footage shows the teenager sprinting in a parking garage, barefoot and physically agitated.
she looks over her shoulder multiple times, and with this repeating motion, investigators confirmed her identity with facial recognition. the footage contains no audio nor where there any witnesses near by that could have intervened or watched the scene. no search party has been organized and officials have not yet confirmed if a ground search will be conducted, stating that the investigation is still in its early stages.
at this time, hybe and bighit music have not made a statement regarding y/n’s disappearance. if you have any information of y/n’s whereabouts, please reach out to authorities immediately. we hope she returns safely home…and with that, later tonight in the world cup, south korea plays against-“
