Josh Dun on the Droomsss

Liz- 15- USED TO BE CALUMISSENPAI

[africant]

And if I only had my way I’d play til the sun sets Beyond the horizon

[theforceawakens]

Ben Solo and his blue butterfly 🦋

[stream]

[black-people-twitter]

[pepsiprincesa]

bghjbhkhuhlkbd;bl;mvskglmvkfjn gjnfhgbvkbdfhj

[acoolsuggestion]

dont ignore me ?? i despise being ignored ?? i mean im ignoring like 8 ppl right now but still ???

[feministism]

[jheselbraum]

You don’t even have to be a lady, there are several

My last name is culturally important to me

His last name is something like Cox or Boner and it’s just not worth it

I got a doctorate before I met him and don’t want to change it

I don’t want to change my name on all my documents and have people assume I’m stealing my own identity in the early months of our marriage

I would rather keep my own last name out of personal preference

I would rather keep my own last name to make a political statement

I want my husband to take MY name

[squirrellygirlart]

It’s 2018 and people ARENT PROPERTY

[conspiring-limabean]

one of my high school literature teachers kept her last name so we were confused to find she was married to another teacher and she was like “his last name is Cummings” and we were like yea that’s reasonable

[joeydeangelis]

[afon-afanc]

[ngutu-deactivated20190127]

not to flex but i never saw la la land

[soritesparadox]

Some of you have never taken the ‘Am I Gay’ quiz at 13, deliberately chosen the obviously straight answers, and gone to bed content in your clearly authentic, airtight heterosexuality and it shows

[ronanlysnch]

[night-life154]

[askstarliner-deactivated2014031]

This is real film of a real ghost

[the-archetype-of-civilization]

JESUS FUCK. GET THE GHOSTBUSTERS.

[seenkseeb]

you can’t photoshop that shit. you just can’t 

[idrils]

kickstarter to replace my uterus with something useful like a boombox or a fog machine

[tastefullyoffensive]

[mazarinedrake]

Donald Trump is exactly the kind of person that Jesus would have thrown out of the temple and beaten with a stick, and the fact that so many self-identified Christians want to put him in office tells you pretty everything wrong with white American Christianity. 

[sillysadskeleton]

Because Jesus had authority at temples and beat people.

[theprettiestboy]

I 100% can’t tell if you’re joking here but he actually did chase people out of a temple at least once for using religion for their own selfish gains, complete with literal table flipping and improvised whips

So really it’s not that he would have trump thrown out as much as he would storm in and accuse him of turning his father’s house into a den of thieves before upending a table on his head

[legolokiismighty]

Dude, Jesus not only chased them out, he broke stuff they were selling, let loose all of their animals, and fucking flipped all the money-changing tables.

Jesus 100% would have been chasing Trump out with a table leg.

[iwasawas-strings]

Canon Jesus 10000% better than fanon Jesus

[elodieunderglass]

Canon Jesus did some very weird shit. Like, just before throwing the market out of the temple, he stole a donkey, then cursed a fig tree because it didn’t have any fruit on it. The next day, or possibly immediately, everyone was amazed that the fig tree he had cursed was withered. He must’ve been in a fuckin weird mood. Going through a Dark Period. The Chaotic Mage of Light losing his shit just a little bit.

“So, what the fuck was that, Jesus?” someone asked as they’re all looking at the horribly withered corpse of the poor cursed tree.

“The power of prayer,” Jesus said absently.

“… wait, is cursing literally a form of prayer? Because some Wiccans are going to be really upset about that, like, they have a whole threefold law thing, is this… okay?”

“Listen,” said Jesus, “If I tell a mountain to get back in the sea? The mountain will get in the fucking sea. Do you want me to tell you to get in the sea?”

And they were all like, “Good demo, Jesus. Good lesson.”

Meanwhile, he was having the aforementioned public brawl in the temple.

Just keep that in mind during this election cycle - viable answers for What Would Jesus Do include flipping tables, stealing animals and striking down shrubbery with magic, all in one week.

[cumaeansibyl]

Before Holy Week in the church calendar comes the lesser-known festival of Christ Doesn’t Give A Fuck Week

[angryschnauzer]

I now have a mental image of Jesus as Negan from the walking dead, dolling out justice on religious heathens with a table leg studded with nails.

[mastreworld]

The fig tree incident happened because he was hungry and couldn’t find any fruit on it. Anyone who’s experienced low blood sugar can relate to that tantrum.

[writernotwaiting]

Jesus was hangry.

[disastergeek-deactivated2018120]

I believe this is my favorite post ever.

[damselindeduction]

My favorite part of the “flipping tables at the temple” story is that before any of that went down, Jesus went out and wove his own whip with which to drive these people out.

I like to imagine him being just so angry, muttering under his breath while he braided together the scourge.

These mofos come into MY Father’s house…

[rockhardgeologist]

A prodigy

[sindri42]

You missed the best part. They weren’t even their sheep. This good pupper gathered up a bunch of random sheep it found somewhere on the countryside and brought them home for its human.

[cryoverkiltmilk]

*whispers* the countryside is full of free sheep

[theleafriday]

[sailorripley]

[trumanblondie]

How to tell which member of Queen wrote what song:

Brian: adds an orgasmic guitar solo

Freddie: writes with either deep lyrics or plain weird ones

John: gives himself an absolutly snazzy bassline

Roger: i would like to FUCK my CAR