@lovelykyle - Tumblr Blog

I NEED TO SEE MY BONES AND BE FRAIL AND SICK AND I DONT KNOW WHY BUT I WANT PEOPLE TO WONDER IF IM OKAY AND I WANT THE WHISPERS OF PEOPLE WONDERING IF I EAT AND I WANT PEOPLE TO FINALLY BELIEVE IT THAT YES I AM SICK IT JUST SUCKS THAT FOR ANY ONE TO CARE YOU HAVE TO BE DANGEROUSLY PHYSICALLY ILL

starvingxskinny

waking up to stars on the ceiling and bruises on pale skin and battered feet on & off the scale and almonds in ziploc baggies and bite marks on fingers and hair down the drain and measuring crunches by the spots left on the spine and enough water to drown organs and eating an apple with a knife and fork and battered feet on & off the scale and desperate hands clutching ribs and standing up & the world goes dark and carrying an emergency rice cake in your purse for weak spells and enough green tea to drown organs and how many calories are in toothpaste and whatever nail polish color covers yellow and battered feet on & off the scale and is today the day my heart gives out and how many calories do you burn when you sneeze and pillows squeezed between thighs and waking up in a new body everyday and fingers clasped around wrists and notebooks filled with numbers and purple crescents below the eyes and accidentally knocking your elbow on your hip bone and being afraid of your own reflection and i’m not hungry or i already ate or i’ll eat later or i don’t feel well and oxygen that tastes like splenda and battered feet on & off the scale

donutsedits

You are allowed to, okay? There’s nothing wrong with eating.

3-0kg-s

48-What do you do after a binge?

I wash my mouth with water and get comfy in my bed with a cup of water or tea. Then I watch youtube or anime.Thanks for asking💞

lovelykyle

loving that self care omg

#wish that was meeeee #if you didn't want this reblogged let me know and I'll delete :)

unaffect-deactivated20180812

important post plz read

so idk how to start this or say anything about it because i am worried about preserving the sensitivity of the matter and wondering if asking for help damages that or makes me a bad person.

i went to planned parenthood yesterday after a couple weeks of weird symptoms and found out i was six weeks and three days pregnant.

i am eighteen years old and just graduated high school, and don’t plan on having a baby any time soon.

the problem is, i live in Indiana. i have gone through, in the last two days, so much more psychological trauma than i ever believed was possible because i wasn’t prepared for this situation. doctors telling me i’m lazy and irresponsible and begging me to keep my pregnancy, referring to it as “my baby” and telling me my due date, forcing me to listen to heart beats, giving me prenatal vitamins i won’t use and giving me pictures of my ultrasound. while my mom is supportive of my decision to end my pregnancy, my dad is outraged.

i work at dairy queen and get paid hourly, i work 35 hours. i am already in physical pain due to the pregnancy because i have kidney disease and am anorexic.

what i’m trying to say here is that, yeah. i messed up pretty badly. abortions are so expensive. i am going to college, and planning on moving in august. i have no money to pay for the abortion.

that’s where you can help. my paypal is

paypal.me/kate949 and my venmo is @altyrlog. i’m not begging for money, but simply asking if you have more to spare to help out a teenage girl who’s out of options. i need the procedure done soon, and the doctors are afraid that a medical (pill) abortion wouldn’t be the best decision for my previous health history.

please, if you have anything to offer and give, i will take it. i love you all and am so warmed by the support from my friends and people close to me. i need anywhere between 450-700 dollars and i’m praying my insurance will help me cover these costs.

thank you in advance and plz message me with any questions, i have a proof of pregnancy paper and multiple other documents to confirm. i am not trying to scam you for money, im out of ideas.

i love you xx

PS if you can’t help, please support by reblogging in hopes that someone else can

unaffect-deactivated20180812

JSYK i have 210 notes which warms my heart and i’m blessed by the support but haven’t received any money 😩

lovelykyle

if any of you can help, please do

starlit-skinny

✨✨ ED Asks✨✨

Send a number or reblog for yourself ✨

What eating disorder do you have?

How many calories do you eat a day?

Do you exercise?

What is your UGW?

Do you binge?

How often do you binge?

Do you purge?

How often do you purge?

Do you ever fast?

How often do you fast?

Could you date someone who weighs less than you?

Have you had hair fall out?

Do you pose in ways to make yourself look thinner?

How long have you had your disorder?

How did your eating disorder start?

Are you/have you ever been in recovery?

Do you want to be recovered one day?

What are your safe foods?

What are your fear foods?

Do you count calories?

Do you count fruit/veg and liquid calories?

What is your maximum calorie intake?

Are you trying to lose, gain, or maintain weight?

Have you ever been called you fat or too thin?

What is your lowest weight?

Do you want to be back at your lowest?

Does your family know about your eating disorder?

Do your friends know about your eating disorder?

Do you ever wish you didnt have an eating disorder?

How often do you weigh yourself?

Thinspo or bonespo?

Sweetspo or meanspo?

Fitspo or thinspo?

What part of you do you love the most?

What part of you do you hate the most?

What was your longest fast?

What is your biggest motivation?

Who is your favorite thinspo?

Your favorite ED movie/book/show?

What’s your bmi?

Do you follow a diet?

Favorite part of your ED?

Least favorite part of your ED?

Has your ED ruined any of your relationships?

Do you know anyone IRL with an ED?

Ever been inpatient?

Ever been outpatient?

Ever been in therapy?

Do you take medication?

What did you eat today?

Do you have any other mental illnesses?

Looking for ana buddies?

Do you self harm?

Do you eat mainly high or low calorie foods?

How are you doing today?

Do you eat ice?

Do you exercise when people are asleep?

If you go to school/work, do you eat there?

Do family meals on holidays scare you?

What size clothes do you wear?

Thigh gap or flat stomach?

Hipbones or rib bones?

Do you skip breakfast?

Do you skip lunch?

Do you skip dinner?

thiinimilla

no one is going to do this but here

starving-for-him

I’m bored please ask me something

d3vilsfoodisnotjustcak3

I’m bored and in for another week of 20 hour work days. HMU

3-0kg-s

Im bored, but probably no one will do this lmao

lovelykyle

send some please loves!

(I'll send anyone who reblogs this from me a few numbers too 💖)

cuuriou

*A picture of someone who is clearly underweight and lacking any muscle mass at all*

My disordered ass:

coolskeletonmemes

health-at-any-size-deactivated2

reasons it’s good to be squishy

(◠‿◠✿) You can give really soft hugs

(◠‿◠✿) Your cats have a comfortable pillow when laying on your lap and they have something to kneed

(◠‿◠✿) You aren’t cold all the time

(◠‿◠✿) You’ll survive longer if you’re ever in a survival situation

(◠‿◠✿) You can get away with less petticoats if you wear lolita

(◠‿◠✿) Automatically look soft and cute

(◠‿◠✿) You aren’t tired and hungry all the time

(◠‿◠✿) You don’t have to avoid social gatherings just because there’s food there

(◠‿◠✿) More comfortable to sit on hard surfaces

(◠‿◠✿) Bigger butt and boobs

(❦ ᴗ ❦ ✿) You can crush your enemies

mentallyillmemes

fuckscooter

we need carbs and we need fats and we need proteins and honestly fuck diet culture for normalizing malnourishment

lxvelybonesx

Eating disorder logic

- I’m lonely I’m going to isolate myself - I’m hungry I’m going to starve - I’m full I’m going to eat - I feel enormous I’m going to binge now - I can tell I’ve lost weight I’m never eating again - I’m happy I’m going to trigger myself - I’m sad I’m going to pretend I’m fine - gum has 5 calories no - ice cream has a million calories I’m going to eat a whole 7 pints

#hhhhhhhhH