The Loveliest of Shades @lovelyshadeviridian - Tumblr Blog

My insecurities surround me like lions in a den And I feel like I'm losing touch with what I am again Slowly I remember why I cannot pretend That I never think of you in all this screaming silence •Oh God, I wish you were here•

#self photography #moody noodies #moody nudes #sleep token lyrics #feeling a kind of way #angsty trash #angsty #deconstruction #fall for me #I'm just a slut out here being sad #sad bitch hours #nsfw #cause I'm naked #but it's cool I promise

Thinking about board games.

#grief #board games #I wonder if anyone remembers #I still think Monopoly is my favorite game

lovelyshadeviridian

Technical difficulties

Standby

We appreciate your patience

To my best friend, who often sees me struggle with decision paralysis;

Loving you is the closest thing I have to second nature.

#adhd #adhd problems #just thinking #ya know #like you do

to my soul mate, ever-changing; so am I

Craving intimacy in a form that I once had but can no longer.

Our connection is changed forever and perhaps it is for the best but I always find myself wanting that which was once there despite everything.

#don't you hate it #when you and your soulmate change for the better #and you still love each other #but you understand you both will change fundamentally despite your best effort #dude #I hate it when that happens #just yappin #anyway #sad bitch hours #og writing ig

Talking about Greece's Favorite Goddess of Spring

I posted about this somewhere else already but I love persephone and hades in 'the rebellious runaway' kind of way. Like fuck yeah I love a couple who come up with this whole cover how* she went missing picking flowers meanwhile she was getting the best dick of her life from a man who is the ultimate adjudicator of the dead. Peresphone to me is the true embodiment of spring in the most violent & manic way possible. I want her making death cults to her husband, making pilgrimages to the underworld every autumn, burning the river styx with radical rebirth and relief to the lost souls. Her lovers will be fanatic sacrifices to their radiant mistress and her true lord: The God of the Dead. I want her to be a god who delights in the painful thin edge of life so she may truly marvel at the awesome face of her lover. I want her mania to wash the world in destructive life, clawing it's way into existence. A creature that hunts and is hunted. A creature that bristles with the touch of death and yet feeds on the decay of those before to drive it's life forth. An unstable variable. A deeply feeling and violently capable creation.

Beautiful, Radiant; Inevitable. *edit cause spelling is bad :D

#thinking about hades and persephone again today #persephone headcanon #I was thinking about how terrifying it would be to be persephone #but you knew he was on his way to take you away from everything #feeling the weight of all the consequences of your actions #having the realization that your mother is going to be furious #Wanting to rage against authority #Wanting to be loved intimately by your parent #Wanting to be romantically loved by the other half of your soul #Wow these tags are wack #Anyway #og writing ig #just yappin #persephone x hades #also just real quick #persephone has a bunch of hot up body piercings #k bye

kawaiiers

What am I, a bee? Are You trying to tell me where the sarcophagus is by dancing?

lovelyshadeviridian

Me, begging Sebastian to just fuck me on the sarcophagus.

#me #im on my knees #Sebastian Lacroix #save me and fuck me Sebastian Lacroaix #they should bring him back in bloodlines 2 just so i could finally fuck this absolute bozo

I've been working on a tiny Grimoire that I've been putting in spell work and lunar studies.

Decorated it with a nice little mushroom witch, a hot mothman, and (not pictured) a hot Audrey II Venus Flytrap.

#tiny book #tiny grimoire #tiny sketchbook #spellbook #for small to tiny sized magic #paw sketch courtsey of my puppy's foot #tiny doodle

lovelyshadeviridian

Christmas Tree

O, Christmas Tree

How lovely are

Thy branches

lovelyshadeviridian

My insecurities surround me like lions in a den And I feel like I’m losing touch with what I am again Slowly I remember why I cannot pretend That I never think of you in all this screaming silence •Oh God, I wish you were here•

It's true. It's all true.

I'm not 17 anymore

And everything really did get better.

#its december #and im not 17 anymore #i was wrong #it got better #oh little me #you did it #we made it #and it is better #i remember reading when i was depressed and scared that it would get better #i just had to get there and see #they were right #i'm here

Christmas Tree

O, Christmas Tree

How lovely are

Thy branches

#oh to be a bunny #beneath a Christmas tree all aglow #his first Christmas with us we showed him the tree in his giant hamster ball #it was like he just discovered magic #now it's his favorite thing every year #i love him #fluffy motherfucker #merry Christmas #ya filthy animals #photography #aesthetic #bunny #bunmy

Thoughts at a Birthday Party

I said to my sister the year of 2007 to 2008 was a blur, void of distinction and feeling.

It was just breadsticks.

I don't remember failing math, I don't remember friends I saw, I don't remember trips I had. I remember eating breadsticks. I remember spending any pocket money I had on lunch at school. It was always breadsticks. She told me she remembered it all, it was almost painful how slow it was. "I'll trade you." She said. I don't know which is worse. Losing yourself or falling apart?

#sad bitch hours #introspection #2007 was a weird year #2008 was worse I think tho #dealing with grief #I just remember breadsticks #and also feeling an deep emptiness #like eating to fill an empty stomach #but the hunger pain doesn't go away

Check out these bottles I got!

(ignore my counter)

#eclectic #bottles #jars #cool ass bottles #and jars!#also i got local honey and its amazing #holy shit #surprise ass #photography #tags are still weird to me so idk what all this is #anyway

It is I 🎉

The birthday babe 🥳

Come for all my birthday spoils!! 😈

#it's my birthday #time to be silly #and obnoxious!

Some rad little finds I got updating some of my herb collection:

Velvet boi

Cone incenses

A very cool leaf

A super cool spoon

Pinecone

I fucking love this little altar* table. It's literally perfect.

#check out my fucking table #it's so fucking rad #cool table #cool skull #cool ass shit #that's all mine now

"Everything I've ever let go of has claw marks on it yet I don't carry a scratch"

I heard that quote before but today it rattled in my head differently than usual. Because the truth is I do, actually, have many scratches and marks on me. It maybe isn't beautiful, or kind, or selfless, but I left those marks on myself. A me that is more feral and more desperate than I'm willing to admit. A me who has fought everyone including myself to stay alive, to stay here.

Maybe it's not as romantic. It's not healthy for sure..

But there's something almost beautiful in it. A younger me; who was so nurtured in anger and survival and self hatred, with all of their careless love and violence demanded I survive. Cutting, screaming, punching, just praying it was all enough self preservation and kindness to keep me here..

Way to go, you angry goblin child, you did it. We are still here. Scars and all.

#im in my feels #its moody word vomit Thursday #self harm #self destruction #to younger me #from you now #sad bitch hours #thinking about the past a ton #but like in a good way #tags are still weird to me so idk what all this is

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