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@lovelyshamelessenemy
Nina, texting Jesper: Jesper! Help I’m being kidnapped
Jesper: Where are you?
Nina: I’m with some strange person. In a car. Help.
Jesper: I’ll call Kaz.
Kaz, answering their cell: Y’ello?
Jesper: Where’s y/n? They texted me that they were being kidnapped.
Kaz: y/n? Whaddya mean, they're right next to me-
Kaz: …
Kaz: I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Kaz: THE NEW HAIRCUT ISN’T THAT BAD!
Nina: WHO ARE YOU?!
TELL ME WHY I DIED AT THIS SCENE WHILE MY FAMILY WAS LIKE 'WHAT THE HECK'
I wasn't ready for this in the first ep
I re-read six of crows and I swear Joost still doesn't make sense. Like ik that his chapter is to introduce the parem but like,,,,, JOOST HAD TWO PROBLEMS, THE MOON AND HIS MUSTACHE.
WHEN JOOST APEARS IN SHADOW AND BONE IM GOING TO ACTUALLY LOSE IT.
The Mustache had two Moons, Joost and the Problem.
Nina: Anyone wants to go get waffles?
Jesper: Sure!!
Kaz: No im busy.
Inej: Yeah, ofc!!
Kaz: Would you look at that my schedule just cleared up.
Kaz: What time?
Jesper & Nina:
Inej: So, onto plan B?
Kaz: Technically, this is plan G.
Mattias: How many plans do you have? Like, is there a plan M?
Kaz: Yes, but Nina dies in plan M.
Mattias: I like plan M.
Nina: I dont, what about plan N?
Kaz: Jesper dies in that one.
Wylan: No, we aren't doing that one! Plan J?
Kaz: Jesper dies in that one again.
Mattias: Plan R?
Kaz: ..Jesper dies in that one too.
Jesper: Plan W? Plan O? Plan S? Plan J?
Kaz: You die, then you die again, then Wylan actually dies in that one, and its you again.
Jesper:
Nina: Does Inej actually die in any of them?
Kaz: ...no.
Istg tho this is something Kaz probably thought about while looking at Inej at the window:
Kaz: Inej and I are having a baby.
Jesper: That's gre-
Kaz, slamming adoption papers on the table: It's you, sign here.