Parachutes

I write to remind myself that I'm still here feet in the air head on the ground. remaining unclassified and (relatively) untamed. sprightly wit. Late nights, long drives, poetry. INCOMPLETE and loose ends. The inextricable. the hell in hello and goodbye in more. nights out and in movies. psychomachy endless. staying in bed just because you can (when you really can't) road raging, free dancing. obvious weaknesses-and Inevitably backtracking. writing letters I never send. history channel at 5am (not so distant) memories suspended in peripheral vision. feckless and reckless. one-liners. tightly holding on and letting go lightly. unannounced party fleeing. metaphorical diving headlong into pools that you know are too shallow and you're Likely to crash and burn, it might hurt, but I do it anyway. absolutely bizarre dreams concerning unstable bridges, free falling airplanes, war flashbacks and hiding from the natives. Deja vous. Now and then, I make sense. the disappearing act (not from the party). details. always details. inherently detailed. coruscating smiles (yours, not mine). Resting between the lines and the fine prints come to life. brothers, sisters. Family. oh and writing my own ending.

[celestialcc]

“You’re going to discover that conversations are best at 4 am. The heavier the eyelids, the sincerer the words. Those are the talks you’ll remember. It’s ok not to know the answer and silence is not awkward. It’s shared, so share it more often than not.”

Jeff Stuckle (via celestialcc)

[wrists]

You are terrifying and strange and beautiful, something not everyone knows how to love.

Warsan Shire (via wrists)

[quote-book]

When a woman writes you a poem, she spends time with the gods on your behalf.

Aja Monet (via Swanfeather Songs)

[meganmcisaac]

Human beings do not grow in perfect symmetry. They oscillate, expand, contract, back track, arrest themselves, retrogress, mobilize, atrophy in part, proceed erratically according to experience and traumas. Some aspects of the personality mature, others do not. Some live in the past, some in the present. Some people are futuristic characters, some are cubistic, some are hard-edged, some geometric, some abstract, some impressionistic, some surrealistic! Some of their insights remain relative, and we can no longer think of a character as good or bad, but a combination of characteristics which vary according to relationship and the point in time. We know now that we are composites in reality, collages of our fathers and mothers, of what we read, of television influences and films, of friends and associates, and we know we often play roles quite removed from our genuine selves.

Anaïs Nin, from The Novel of the Future. (via meganmcisaac)

[regular-love]

△Grunge/Indie△

[lovelywordscc]

For You

It seems that when there are more bright days then dreary ones...the words become increasingly hard to find. When the sadness, regret, heartache and insecurity subside and the haze begins to lift, speaking becomes effortless. Thoughts feel as if they are laced with gratitude and introspective, almost as if all of the twisted and broken words of the past slowly lose their right to breath. You are my oxygen. My safe haven and my favorite constellation. I have never had such contentment in having to dig within for all the right words...because in all honesty, I wrote this for you.

[lovelywordscc]

06/25/05: 20 Years Old

A clear, chilling night filled with self-incrimination and the lingering smell of previously fallen rain. Trapped within a time when most anyone would be lost in a personal dreamland, I remain awake to linger for a while. The sky is deceptively light, almost as if the sun was battling the moon for a chance to claim the glory of this one particular night. I look around to see towering mountains on every side, the moonlight reflecting off their snowcapped peaks. I am standing in heavens amphitheater and for a brief moment I breath it all in. For this one, simple, precious fragment in the tapestry that is life...I realize how insignificant I really am. I was happy.

[lovelywordscc]

Blame it on the gay

Well, here it is. The big reveal...the announcement...the declaration of a lifetime. As naive as is all sounds, I really never thought it would be such a process. After all, each and every one of us only really wants one thing; to be loved. I'm gay. I'm 28 years old and just now am feeling the freedom and undeniable need to expose myself to anyone who cares to listen. I've lived a lot of life for 28 and would like to think I've got a pretty good idea of the inner workings of this damaged little soul of mine. With each passing day I've become more aware of what it means to physically need a certain person next to you. I've been reborn and reminded of all the things I wanted from my life but thought I'd lost the chance of getting. For the first time I am whole, I'm soaring, I am a breathing love note to a universe that I thought had forgotten me. Sounds wonderful, right? The only issue is I found this lightning in the arms of a woman. How does this happen? How does a seemingly "normal" woman with a string of REALLY bad relationships (with men) turn out this way? Where did my parents go wrong? Who and what is to blame? The reality is it's always been there. It's a choice, though. At some point I had enough attraction to men to be married to one (if you can even call what we had a marriage). I was handed all the opportunities to have the life I was always told was the right one. A life ordained under a God I am told hates me, a belief system that thinks my happy ending deserves a cure. My happiness is a choice, yes. So here I am. A grown adult feeling like I'm under a microscope held by some of the people that should support me most AND have the least room to make moral judgements on anyone. My fear of exposing myself has been completely based on the hatred and ignorance of a culture that preaches love. There is no irony in the fact that the very people I was so afraid to tell are the exact ones that have distanced themselves. I see you... **People always say that when you love someone, nothing in the world matters. But that’s not true, is it? You know, and I know, that when you love someone, everything in the world matters a little bit more** I am the happiest person I had ever thought was possible. I am working hard toward a life that I can be proud of, an honest life. I want the marriage and family that this little girl always dreamt of. I have the BEST partner any person could ever imagine. I am more productive, loving, confident, healthy, and content than I'd ever thought I'd be lucky enough to be. Sounds awful, right? Blame it on the gay.

[williamchapmanwritings]

Everything I’ve never done, I want to do with you.

William Chapman  (via caseybobasey)

[lovelywordscc]

**I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing**

Neil Gaiman

[lovelywordscc]

[lovelywordscc]

[lovelywordscc]

I’d cut my soul into a million different pieces just to form a constellation to light your way home. I’d write love poems to the parts of yourself you can’t stand. I’d stand in the shadows of your heart and tell you I’m not afraid of your dark.

[lovelywordscc]

"When I touch her, my fingers don't question what she is. My body knows who she is." Jeanette Winterson

[lovelywordscc]

You really are

[thatquote]

“I mean, they say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time.”

Banksy  (via thatquote)

[lovelywordscc]

Snow White

In bright white snow, when everything sleeps. And hope has left you lonely. When all you ever remember about summer is how it ended. I send hope back to you, wherever you are. I hope you remember all the people you still have time to be. I hope the little things in your life inspire you to do big things with it. I hope you remember that summer comes every year and that the sun, is still sweet. I hope you learn to hope again. I, still, hope.