A Day in my Life @lovemyselfstrong - Tumblr Blog

April 16, 2018

Shutdown day! I stayed up late last night and got up with the girls so i would be tired enough to nap. I had some training to get done at my regular job, so I went in after I dropped the girls off. Three hours later, of my own time I might add, I still have one lesson to go. It's all stuff I already know too. I should have taken them at the beginning, but I just jumped in, so to speak. I was able to nap when I got home. Just a couple hours, but exactly what I needed. I picked up the kids from school and got ready for work. I get there and am all ready to go. Turns out they moved everything around. I ended up on a different crew working in a different area! I'm not complaining. I have a great couple of gas testers who look out for me. I'm not doing any gas testing either. Oh, and no ten floors without and elevator either. Up four flights into the second floor. That's nothing compared to digesters. It was a great night, except for getting everyone confused and freaking out because I had no idea who was in or out! Tomorrow will hopefully be better. I guess it's not tomorrow so much as tonoght. Either way. I'm more prepared this time.

April 15, 2018

I slept in so late today! It was almost noon before I woke up. It felt gooood. Then I had to get u so I could take S to the mall. She shuts down when we have to shop. I know she gets it from me, because I'm the same way. Once we finished at the mall I had to go in to work and do some expiries. I put in six hours and I feel like I got nothing done. There was so much to discount and I must have gone back and forth twenty times. I didnt get any of the backroom done, so after all that there might even be outdated product going out onto the floor. Nothing to be done about it I guess. I'll just have to catch up when the shutdown is over. I'm sure feeling nervous this time. I've never been to this mill, nor have I ever worked with this supervisor. I know the first night will be rough, but I'll be fine after that.

April 14, 2018

I worked my first food side merchandising shift today. It was non-stop playing the catch up game. I'd just get the dairy stocked and pop would be low. By the time I was done pop, eggs would need to be done. Then chips were low. Then back to dairy. I ended up having to stay for 15 minutes longer because the next merchandiser didn't show up. At least I was able to leave everything topped up for the evening shift. I'm off now until after the shutdown. I'm pretty excited. I'm working on the digester. I can't imagine how many flights of stairs I'll end up climbing.

April 13, 2018

A long day at work today. We were steady from start to finish. I cleaned the tills and took all of the old papers out of the communications binder. They still won't read anything in it, but at least I did it. I want to tackle the top drawer next. It's a mess of stuff that's been thrown into it. We could more easily find the things we need. Plus I can put more of what we need in there and other employees won't be able to steal it. 😉

April 12, 2018

Love my nails! I worked on cash today. We were busy all day. Senior's day. I organized the memory card wall. It's gorgeous now. Nobody better wreck it. The entire wall needs to be reorganized. I can never find anything when I'm looking for something for a customer. It was nice to be on cash. Slower paced than when I merchandise. I'm on cash again tomorrow. All day long.

April 11, 2018

I'm almost at my limit for hours again this week. I still had to do some expiries, so I put in 4 hours. I made an appointment for tomorrow morning to get my nails done. Had them done 27 days ago. They held up great. I had a total meltdown this afternoon. I tried to talk to hubby. We haven't been speaking much since the incident with B. I told him I started smoking again. He said him and the girls knew. S found the pack in the car. I'm so ashamed about my weakness. I know I'm disappointing everyone. I don't know why I turn to smoking. I think I just get to feeling out of control when I'm disconnected from hubby. I get so much stuck inside me and I look for something I can control. I know eating will make me feel horrible physically. I have zero energy to exercise, save for a few walks. I'm feeling like whatever I do at work isn't good enough. If I'm fast it's seen as sloppy. If I take my time, I'm told it's too slow. Smoking helps me feel in control of something. I know I'll be able to quit again and be guaranteed a feeling of success.

April 10, 2018

I switched my shift for today with my day off on Saturday. So I got a day off, with some expiries done. It's a good thing I work on the month ahead! I've been tapped out on hours these past two weeks so I've only been able to do 5 hours over two weeks when I usually do 5 per week. I had an awful melt down this afternoon. I started smoking again last week and I told hubby today. He told me Sophia found them in the car last week, and I was so ashamed I cried for a good half an hour. I had a talk with her after school and apologized for disappointing her. I haven't told Brooke, but she saw me have a disposable vape cig while we were out for a walk with the pooch. She didn't say anything to me. I'm not feeling good right now. My stomach is upset. We'll see if I can meditate and make it feel better.

April 9, 2018

I did the gas testers course for work today. It's going to be strange testing my own vessel. It means I might not see anyone unless I come down for breaks. Speaking of down, there are 10 floors and no elevator. I'm feeling some anxiety about this shut because I don't have Dee as my crew leader. I know I'll be just fine, but I have to get in there and do it before the anxiety will go away.

April 8, 2018

Stepmom K came to town today. We had brunch and went on a 4k walk with her. Then we looked at photos of Mexico and Quebec. She only had to go because I had to work tonight. I love it when she visits. I'm so grateful to have her in my life still, and to be able to include her in the girl's upbringing too. She's contemplating a move back to town, which I think would be a smart choice, but I'm being selfish in that thought. Work was great again. Put out a few trolley's. Did dairy, or what there was to be done anyways. The order comes in tomorrow. I really enjoyed the walk today, but good gracious my shins hurt. I wish I knew why.

April 7, 2018

I went for my echocardiogram this morning. I got to see my heart beating on the ultrasound. It showed the murmur I apparently have. It'll be a week or so when my doc gets the results, and I'll go see her. I wish I could have had a copy of it. The girls would have enjoyed it. Work was great tonight. I filled the areas I usually see half full all the time. I organized the chips, so the dates were correct. Got the water full all around. Faced a couple of areas while I filled. Dairy was a crap shoot, because of the lack of product. I'll be sad to see it go down again so full of product, but they keep bandaiding it, so I'm sure it will. T is such a rockstar, she did most of my closing jobs plus hers. I'm so glad I get to work with her.

April 6, 2018

Worked a long one today on till. I'm not loving it anymore. I much prefer to be on the floor. My feet were so sore by about 2pm, and they burned for the rest of my shift. I don't get that when I'm walking all night. The sheer number of keys I have to read for every transaction is highly unnecessary. It's all too much. No one wants to be asked question after question. They don't care about an email reciept. We need touch screen too. The keyboards are beyond dirty. They are never wiped off. At least a touch screen can have a screen cover. Get with the times man.

April 5, 2018

So, my vivosmart isn't sending my texts properly. I looked all through my phone to see what the problem is, but I couldn't make it work. I think it has something to do with my lock screen preferences. I'll keep looking. Maybe I have to update or something first. I had to deal with all that ice cream that was pulled the other night. It took almost all night to put it and dairy back out. Trip after trip with full trolley's back and forth. I really really hope they don't go down again. Boss C called me in for my evaluation tonight and offered me guaranteed part time hours with benefits. That's a huge bonus. I'm guaranteed 24 to 31 hours per week now. She said she wants to make me full time, but has to wait until the money is in the works. I can't wait for that. Steady money coming in each month makes me feel so much better. My evaluation was high, but there are a few more places I can improve. Mainly learning about the business aspect of the store. Also, pushing the loblaws brands over national ones. She's impressed, so that's all I can ask for.

April 4, 2018

So, I had a day off today. I was all set to do my usual four or five hours of expiries, but I'm already at 40 hours this week. Thankfully I'm super efficient and I already noted most of the expiries for April. There will be more as I do the normal checks, but for the most part they're done. So all I really needed to do was go through the list and coupon the urgent items. I spent the rest of my free time sleepin on the couch. It felt amazingly good. We did a bit of running around after school and grabbed some much needed groceries. B's newest House of Night novel was in, so we picked up that as well. I called again about her glasses, and was told they're probably redoing them. So we could be looking at another 10 days. Our only saving grace is that she can see well enough to get by without them. I used my points to buy myself the Garmin Vivosmart HR. It's nothing too fancy, but I like that it will allow me to see my texts and keep track of my heart rate. I just hope I get used to it on my wrist. It has to sit above my wrist bone to read my heart rate properly. It seems to be tracking my sleep better too.

April 3, 2018

Just the usual merchandising today. Nothing broke, thank goodness. They did pull the rest of the ice cream from the wall freezers though. B's glasses still aren't in. So much for them being ready before school started again.

April 2, 2018

So, just as I finished work yesterday, we discovered the freezer had thawed out. Nothing to do but leave it for today. What a disgusting mess! The boxes were all soggy. The ice cream and popsicles were leaking. The entire freezer had to be cleaned. It was horrible. They started emptying it at 7am this morning. We finally finished cleaning it up at 2pm this afternoon! That was literally all I did. The girls were at N's today, so I went there afterwards. We have been watching The puppies since Friday. I laid down on the couch in a sunbeam and fell right asleep. It's shocking how much I miss being able to do that in my own house. At least I took the time to enjoy, and notice it, today. School starts tomorrow. S is upset about her and her ex-best friend. I think she misses the way they used to be. Maybe her and her friend A need to spend more time together. Plans for another time.

April 1, 2018

It's Easter Sunday. We spoiled the kids again this year. Not much chocolate, but they each got $50 in gift cards. We were good parents and didn't even fool them for April Fools day. I was going to wrap up grapes in the chocolate egg foils, but that seemed like too much work. Also, I've been preoccupied with my thoughts. I keep thinking about a different life. I've been here before, but this time it feels different. I'm planning the changes. Seeing the future, if you will. I'll look at something, like the skull I painted in Mexico, and decide that I will leave that behind if I move out. It's like I'm choosing the important things in my future home. I'll even think to myself, if this was my home I'd do....whatever it is I thought about. This is supposed to be my home. It's supposed to feel like my home. What makes the future come true? The circumstances you come across or the things you think about so often, you make them come true? I afraid the outcome might be the same either way.

March 31, 2018

A well deserved day off today. Of course I had to get up at 5am to go let the puppies out, so there was no sleeping in. I had a great lunch with M and Baby A. She's getting so big! M looks fantastic too. We're going to try and connect more often. Maybe we can start walking in the summer. I really need that. I haven't heard from My safety rep about doing the gas testing on the 9th. I'll basically be working 14 days straight if I do get called in for it. I'm beat now, so time for bed.

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