I was already late, (Time management is not my strong suit). I woke up late and spent too long doing everything that morning. Now it was past time for me to go, and I still didn’t have a lunch…
I love eating and despise being hungry. So despite my predicament, I paused and asked myself, “do I want to make a lunch?,” anyway. Almost right after asking, I heard in my heart “I got you”… I was hesitant, but I decided to go along with that still small voice and headed towards the door, telling myself if worst came to worst I would stop by Chick-fil-A.
I am an Administrative Assistant at an Episcopal Church. One of my duties is to relieve the receptionist from the desk during her lunch. When that time came, I went upstairs, took a seat, listened to what the receptionist wanted me to know for that hour, and proceeded to work on the tasks I had brought to work on while sitting there. When I sat down at the reception desk, there it was before me— the answer to that still small voice. [OT1] [PT2] [PT3] A conference was being held at the church that day and they ordered Jason’s Deli for their guest to have during lunch. Still I doubted. As soon as I got to where the food was, the lady in charge offered the receptionist a box, saying she had counted her in their number. Well I know they didn’t do that for me, I thought. It was nothing I took offense to; I just never met these ladies a day in my life, so preemptively counting me—a stranger—in the lunch number was out of the question.
I also questioned this come through for my lunch, because I was not feeling too friendly that day. I said hey and other socially expected pleasantries, but I kept conversations short or nonexistent. I had come in with a mission and goal that day, and I was not about to let talking to people interrupt my progress. (I know… Pray for me.) I figured my lack of ‘sociableness’ would lessen my chances, and I definitely, ABSOLUTELY was not about to ask those ladies for food like the stereotypical “needy black child”. Nope! Yet still there was a hope... about halfway through my time at the front desk, the lady asked me if I wanted a lunch, called out the types of sandwich boxes they still had left, and—low and behold—my doubts fled in the wake of hunger-satiating glee. I came away with a nice little veggie sandwich box from Jason’s Deli!!
I have been on this journey of faith and trusting God lately, even in the little things like him providing a lunch. And though I fail and fall short, He never, ever does. Still, like that afternoon at the desk, I sometimes doubt if he will come through, and I’ve come to realize that doubting His faithfulness is based on my own short comings. Take that day for example: I knew it was God saying, “I got you!” in that moment, but I also knew I failed to prepare my lunch like I should have. Why would he make up for that?! If that “L” wasn’t already enough on my record, I was being anti-social and prideful at the desk. Why would he stick to his promise when I was being less than the person I’m pretty sure he wanted me to be?? But my perspective was all wrong… Numbers 23:19 states, “God is not a man, That he should tell or act a lie, neither the son of man, that he should feel repentance or compunction [for what he has promised]. Has he said and shall he not do it? Or has he spoken and shall he not make it good?”
Do not let your flaws or an over blown perception of your imperfect past keep you from the promise God has for you today. Jesus came that we may have life and have it more abundantly. In times of trouble, hurt, lack, or a combination of these we need to take off the shades of our human perspective and see things through the light of His love. Hunger for that love more than anything. I’m a girl who loves to eat, but I also know that without God, His presence, His word, and His love being evident in my life, I could eat a full course meal three times a day and still be starving. Bethel has a song called “Thank You” that I love, the chorus says “You don’t have to come, but you always do. You show up in Splendor, and change the whole room.” It is for this that I live. Yes, I must have lunch and eat to stay alive, but God is the source of my life. It is in and through him I have my being. I would go through the desert with a song in my heart if I knew He was near and because I know He is a God of his word, and with an adjustment or two to my perspective I know I will see His promises come true in my life.