Fairytales & Firesides

Take the risk or lose the chance. Instagram/Snapchat- jane_emerson

[tinderventure]

Tinder bios are awesome though….

[tricktster]

a good thing about having friends with kids is that you can just sow the seeds for something that you’ll never need to address again. like tonight my friend’s three year old saw me eating blue corn chips.

kid: what are you eating from that basket?

me: triangles.

kid: can i have triangles?

me: dunno, did you brush teeth yet?

kid: no

me: mhm, and are you okay with screaming really loud?

kidd: what???

me: yeah, sometimes these make you scream really loud, are you ok with that?

kid: i am not afraid of screaming.

me: you’re very brave. you can have two triangles. then why don’t you go show your dad your new power, i gotta go.

[unnameablethings]

op u live up to ur username

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dankmemesreasonforliving]

[coffeebreakexpresso]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[just-shower-thoughts]

Someone’s therapist knows all about you.

[oikawaonline-deactivated2022080]

Andy Samberg Shares His Rejected Golden Globes Jokes.

[dankmemeuniversity]

[sixpenceee]

These plants are photosynthesising underwater and producing an excess of oxygen through their leaves in the form of small bubbles which is called pearling. (Source)

[dankmemeuniversity]

[groenendaze]

this just in: we got a head tilt

[soldierwinters]

Clark Kent be like

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dankmemeuniversity]

[thealphapigeon]

Ya’ll talk about the Mom Friend and the Older Sibling Friend but I hear nothing about the Goblin Friend

Eats food up off the floor screaming something about the five second rule

Sweatpants count as a look

Throws everything in a pile on the nearest surface as soon as they’re home

“Haha that’s gross let me see”

Hoards of some sort. Mugs, pens, notebooks, anything

Sitting in a dark room for hours wrapped up in seven blankets in front of a laptop unblinking

Makes weird noise effects to express emotions

Laying on random surfaces

[ad-asterism]