Because it's love.

a blog dedicated to my love since I can't seem to act or show the lovey doviest of me to him directly, therefore I do so in reposts and writings and photo collages of us.

[lovesickand-blog]

I think there is already enough said to the fact that you haven't even taken the time to read some of these things I've written for you this past year. It's not a lot but they're something. Took me quite some guts to reveal this to you. Remember how excited you'd always get when I had written or made you something very personal just for you? Now, things are different. Where is the Tristan that used to put in so much effort in making me feel loved? I miss you. I'm trying so hard to bring you back.

[lovesickand-blog]

Hello, honey.

It is 12:59 AM on a Sunday night and you’re snoring peacefully next to me like a little baby.

You are so perfect. Like absolutely just wonderful in so many ways to me.

I know we’ve had some crazy rough patches lately but I know that we always get through to it, or I know you do. Quicker than me.

Thanks for dealing with all that. All my messiness.

I know you should expect me to deal with you when you’re being out of character too, and I need to learn how to be patient when that happens. I’m sorry for that.

I’m sorry I always end up wanting to just pack a bag or two and leave you, sometimes for the night, sometimes forever.

But I know a lot of the things you do, you do for us. And I appreciate that a lot. I should really start being more appreciative to you. I really do love the fact that you bought me a camera. I’m sorry I haven’t been the most enthusiastic about it but I think it’s great and I will learn to use it well. 

I adore you so much, just know that. You are literally everything to me, and all that I do, I always think of you, or us. 

Same with your family. Your family has become mine and I’m really happy to be a part of such a silly, fun, absolutely caring family. I love every single one of them so much.

Thanks for letting me be a part of your life, baby. We have so much ahead of us, I’m just so happy to take the next few steps with you. I know that what ever you think is best for us, is always something I should consider because you always know what’s best between us two. 

Love you, hon. I should probably sleep soon.

- Miko.

[block]

[momentswheniknew]

♡

[lovesickand-blog]

Questions [I] Should Know the Answer to About My S/O, Without Having to Think Twice!

What is their mother’s maiden name? Stokes!

What color are their eyes? Brown!

What is one place they desperately want to travel to? Boston, Pennsylvania! .... If not there then I will have to guess Germany!

What do they regret about their family life? Um, I’m not sure there’s really anything he regrets about his family life. They’re all pretty close. :)

What foods can they absolutely not stand? Lol tomatoes! 98% of vegetables all in all, really haha. Also, some of the smelly Asian foods that I eat. d:

Do they shower in the morning or at night? Mornings!

Have they ever voted? No... Not yet, I wanna say.

What type of chocolate do they prefer? Hmm, I’m thinking milk chocolate.

Is there a certain nickname they absolutely hate to be called? Uhhhh I’m not sure.... Twistan??? (When I say his name in a baby way lol)

Where is their family from? Here in Alaska, specifically from the villages. Nikolai, or McGrath. His dad is from Illinois though, or... Missouri? No, his dad’s parents are from Missouri.

Is their family religious? .... Ehhh, not extremely, I suppose. Fairly religious. 

Do they want a cat or a dog? Oh, he prefer dogs, I know for sure, lol.

Which friend have they known the longest? Tyler Palmer!

What childhood memory do they always bring up? Hmmm probably his memories with his grandparents. Either that, or that one time he walked into someone’s house during trick-or-treating, sat on their couch, and started watching TV lol.

Do they think of themselves as extroverted or introverted? I would say introverted. Not super duper though. 

Do other people think of them as extroverted or introverted? Ummm I don’t know? I would think they think he’s like a fairly good balance, depending on who he’s with. I’m guessing for strangers, perhaps introverted.

Do they want children? Eventually, in the far future. 

What do they think of long term commitments, marriage, etc.? In the far future ~

Do they like foreplay? Lol, yes.

Are they a light sleeper? Um, sometimes? ... No.

Do they like to cuddle while they sleep? Yes!

Which celebrity do they find most attractive? He’s never mentioned lol. I guess Cobie Smulders from HIMYM (Robin)

How do they wind down at the end of a long day? Snuggling with me in a bed or playing video games.

Do they drink every day? Energy drinks and water, yes.

Would they ever want to live abroad? I’m sure he would love that!

Do they still have their wisdom teeth? I don’t think he’s even grown any yet.

What do they like on pizza? Meat! & cheese :) 

Do they have severe allergies and what are they? Ibuprofen!

If they went to college, what did they study? Computer Science, but he absolutely hated it.

Do they believe in God? I don’t think so, I’m not too sure.

What’s their favorite sex position? Doggy. ;) 

In an ideal world, how many times a week would they want to have sex? Hmmm maybe 2-3?

What’s their least favorite part of their current job? Probably getting up at like 5 in the morning lol.

What are they currently reading? He doesn’t really read books, but he always follows up on hockey.

Are they conscious about saving money? Yes.

What is their ideal date night? Hm, probably dressing fairly casual-nice, dinner, movies. Something simple.

Where were they born? Here in Anchorage, AK.

How do they take their coffee? Doesn’t really drink coffee but I would say not black! Lol.

What is the one thing you could say to make them start arguing with you? “You are such a messy person!”

What is their astrological sign? AQUARIUS.

What is their favorite season? Winter because of hockey :)

What amount of PDA are they comfortable with? Eh, not so much. Holding hands and maybe a small kiss is okay with him.

What is their go-to drink order? Frappucino. If we’re at a grocery store, energy drinks lol. Or Mt Dew.

How old were they when they lost their virginity? Lol 17.

What are their porn preferences? I’m guessing guy-girl. Hot. Big boobs. Lol... :’(

Are they confrontational? Ahh, no.

How often do they use social media? Literally 24/7.  He lives off of it, pretty much.

Do they have condiment/hot sauce preferences? Ketchup!

What makes them insanely impatient? When I take too long on my makeup and become late! Lol. Or just taking too long on my makeup in general hahahaha

What is their go-to form of exercise? His Nike shorts and sneakers, and a hoodie and (maybe) a beanie!!

What is their dream job? He used to talk about wanting to work with like computers and whatnot because he’s such a big nerd about technology but now I’m not so sure, and Idk if he’s very sure of what he wants to do too now.

What is their favorite meal? Tuna, for one. :-)))))

Who is their closest friend currently? Me. ^-^

What is the one thing that gets them off every time? My boooooobs

Do they like celebrating their birthday? Eh, yeah. I would say so. :-) He’s a little princess <3 #myprincess

[lovesickand-blog]

1:38 AM.

It’s our first night away from each other. I miss you. I need someone to cuddle but it could only be you. Or our future pupp(yes)y or children :3 Love you bean. You’re seriously so adorable and handsome. Can’t wait for you to come back.

[talvezquase]

Actually, there is a word for that. It’s love. I’m in love with her, okay? If you’re looking for the word that means caring about someone beyond all rationality and wanting them to have everything they want no matter how much it destroys you, it’s love. And when you love someone you just, you…you don’t stop, ever. Even when people roll their eyes, and call you crazy. Even then. Especially then. You just– you don’t give up. Because if I could just give up…if I could just, you know, take the whole world’s advice and– and move on and find someone else, that wouldn’t be love. That would be… that would be some other disposable thing that is not worth fighting for. But I– that is not what this is.

Ted Mosby (How I met your mother)

[naomiros]

- Lebenslanger Schicksalsschatz" is not something that develops over time. It is something that happens instantaneously. It courses through you like the water of a river after a storm, filling you and emptying you all at once. You feel it throughout your body, in your hands, in your heart, in your stomach, in your skin… Have you ever felt this way about someone?

-I think so.

-If you have to think about it, you have not felt it.

[michaelhuntley63]

Ted spitting that wisdom.

[himym-obsession-love]

But love doesn’t make sense. You can’t logic your way into or out of it. Love is totally nonsensical. But we have to keep doing it, or else we’re lost and love is dead and humanity should just pack it in. Because love is the best thing we do.

How I Met Your Mother  (via himym-obsession-love)

[home-sicko]

and sometimes, you can’t keep this person. Because, you’re not the right for them.

[lovesickand-blog]

Love, 
I’m sorry i get mad at you for everything. Thanks for putting up with my issues. It’s 8:13 pm and you’re currently napping next to me. I’ll miss you these next three nights. :’( it’ll be lonely.

[lovesickand-blog]

[lovesickand-blog]

4:03 28 Jan '16 You'd probably be scolding me if you saw me awake rn and knew what the time was but oh well. You're sleeping and just the cutest wittle bean ever. Especially when I lightly kiss you on the cheek and whisper I love you to you and you smile and say it back to me. :) you're such a sweetheart baby. So silly and sensitive, sometimes a big ol jerk face butthead but minus that, you're pretty damn perfect.

[lovesickand-blog]

3:26 AM.

I’m so glad you have not yet discovered this blog yet. :)

I haven’t written here in awhile, but... Hi. 

You’re sound asleep next to me like a wittle baby, awww! Hahaha. I love you so much. Thanks for always accepting my weird self. The things I say and do. Thank you for dealing with little ol’ grumpy me. For dealing with my sassiness. For taking me to the places I would like to go and need to go. For committing yourself to both of us. For being so patient with me when I am in a bad mood. For loving me even on my ugly days. For still finding me beautiful when I’m so ashamed of my looks. For all the kisses and hugs and I love you’s that I always swerve. 

You know I love you oh so very much. I’m very excited for what the future has in store for us. I actually am excited to live elsewhere with you. I hope I can make enough for both of us to fly out of here and to Seattle. I haven’t been there yet but I know it will be great place because you love it, so I know I will too. I hope we have many adventures together in the future.

.........

I always have silly thoughts and dreams of us doing so many things together.

I hope to be able to travel with you. See the world and experience everything we could possibly dream of. I hope I could give you everything you want in the world, and I can only hope vice versa too. 

I would like to live in a fairly fancy, but homey house with you, with many dogs, big and small, all around us. 

And I hope that when the time is right, when we know what we have is truly true, I hope that I become a Stokes member, officially.

Maybe someday, not too early but not too late, we could bring a little wee bit one of us into the world. And perhaps, some more in the future. We could start a little hockey team, full of little me’s and you’s. 

I dream of having the future with you. I have had many dreams for myself but I can’t imagine life without you anymore. Without you, my life would be sincerely empty. You’ve helped me realized what’s best for me. With you, I’m growing more, and still am. I love you so much, bean. Love you love you love you. 

You are now snoring. You’re so adorable.

[lovesickand-blog]

11:45 13 Dec

I'd rather cry myself to sleep than let you do so. I know I'm stronger than you, emotionally, and it hurts me to have you fall asleep crying. I love you.

[lovesickand-blog]

1:47 10 Dec '15

Honestly, I don't know how I feel about anything anymore. Lately my life has been just one big stupid blob. And us, well, I don't know. I wish I was able to shake away the grudges I hold, even the really small ones. But I can't. And it would be stupid to announce that we need or break, or at least I do, when we live under the same roof so. But I would just like to let you know that you've really hurt me as of lately. Not letting me know about things, like why? What's so wrong about letting me know where you're gonna go. That's all I wanna know. And I'm honestly getting tired of constantly not letting my feelings come first. Although I could be quite stubborn and mean about them, in some situations I do have the right to be mad. And I would like to address them to you, but you are always crying to me so I always have to force myself to let my feelings aside. Also, you probably didn't know but I was crying really hard when you told me you've realized you've been a really shady boyfriend lately. Because it has been a really bad week with you. And I've been considering leaving. That's kind of all I've been thinking about. Leaving. Leaving you. I think we would be better off separated eventually.

[lovesickand-blog]

2:22 AM, 30 Nov '15 Tonight I had a horrible panic attack, releasing every little anger, stress and sadness I had inside me. Built up after all these years, I finally lashed out and went crazy. Thank you for staying so calm by my side constantly. For loving me unconditionally. I don't know what I'd do without you, or Caley. :) but thank you for your comfort and just all of your love. I love you, baby.