is it bad that i dont care? we had an argument, again, which basically boiled down to us not knowing something for sure, and each of us fighting our side. i stopped when i said what i wanted to say and when i realized it wasnt worth it because no matter what, he was going to fight until he was right. he continued speaking in a hostile tone, name calling, long after i had stopped. he basically got himself mad and said he was leaving. he started his car, waited for a minute, and floored to the end of the street. i texted him about 20 minutes later to make sure he was alright. it took a minute, but he replied, "Yes." and what really makes me not want to end things is the frighted, sad look on his face when he thinks of a life with out me. last night really did it, because he was borderline bawling. he says he trys so hard to change, to get better, to keep himself from becoming so angry. he says, "if you were to see me a couple of years ago, this would be nothing. and "I've changed so much, but its not enough for you." well im stuck, i really am. ive never known someone to care about me so much and at the same time be so difficult to find a common ground with. to speak to without it escalating so quickly and bitterly. and it doesnt help to be surrounded by realtionships that keep ending, and them telling me what not to do. it keeps me from doing what ive always done that initially has worked. now i have to keep reassuring myselfthat i really do like him. and im having doubts id never have otherwise. i hate building things up and being the one to break it down. funny how i now care...
