lovesickpuppy🦑🐇

I like industrial metal and Danganronpa. I need a (blow) job /j

[loveyoutotheend]

I guess I'll do an about me thing

My styles are: cybergoth, military goth, mall goth, jiraikei, gothic lolita.

My preferred names are: Kokichi/Makoto or Hajime (I just feel comfortable with those names.) alternatively you could call me Jimmy.

Bands I like are: Orgy, Nine Inch Nails, Skinny Puppy, KMFDM/MDFMK, Static X, Machines Of Loving Grace, Marilyn Manson,Jesus Loves Junkies, Chemlab, And One, Rammstein, Mindless Self Indulgence.

I like horror games and movies such as the conjuring movies, 28 days later (as well as 28 weeks later/28 years later and the bone temple) i also like Se7en (seven) and spree.

Please do recommend me more horror games!! (I love chila's art games)

Fandoms I'm in: PJSK, Danganronpa, vocaloid, House MD, Poppe the Performer.

I go by he/him and it/its pronouns.

I play keyboard and love music a lot.

I yumeship Kokichi Ouma and Kaito Shion (vocaloid) I am non sharing. So dni doubles. (Although I don't usually engage in the yumeship community)

I kin Kokichi Oma and Nagito Komaeda.

Ask for my socials first.

[loveyoutotheend]

My mental health has gone to shit

I nearly killed myself listening to fetisha by orgy as the cord around my neck slipped and I nearly passed out. I'm lucky it didn't leave marks but I almost wish I died actually. I also don't want help to get better and I find myself wanting to get worse instead because I love to romanticize my self harm and suicidal ideation.

I feel as worthless as Nagito. Ahah.. I'm becoming him.

[loveyoutotheend]

My fucking arm hurts so badly now I can't move it and am typing with one hand and using suggested words on my keyboard fuckkkkk my lifeeee

[loveyoutotheend]

Orgy is so peak lowk awesome band

[1medichan1]

stronger than you

[loveyoutotheend]

I think I'm kinda just gonna quit using Tumblr. I don't use it as often anymore. So this is probably goodbye.

[loveyoutotheend]

These are lowk so cute but kinda restricting..? I love them

[loveyoutotheend]

Would it be alright? Would it be okay? Would you be my joyful thought today..?

[loveyoutotheend]

So.. I'm alive.

[loveyoutotheend]

A life of pain isn't a life worth living. I'm sorry to all who cared about me. This is really it. I've gone too far. I've become the very person I never wanted to be. I've disappointed myself. So please. Don't mourn. I want nothing more than to be completely forgotten as if I never existed. Because I know that's what I deserve.

I tried so hard. Finally.. I give up.

[loveyoutotheend]

Lowk life sucks and I was nearly driven to suicide but I'm ok now I think.

[loveyoutotheend]

Random shit on my wall

[loveyoutotheend]

Mann I am not that into nin anymore. I still like them but not obsessed anymore

[loveyoutotheend]

I wish more people interacted with me on here but then I remember I don't really get on here all that often

[loveyoutotheend]

Mikan edit. It sucks cuz it's my first time doing ts and idk what I'm doing 💔 please be nice at least

[loveyoutotheend]

Mental health is getting worse.

Anyway I'm working on a mikan edit. It's not gonna be that good but I'll probably post it on Pinterest and Instagram. I'll see if I can post it here too

[loveyoutotheend]

Vent post again...

I'm not used to being genuinely loved.

All my life it's abuse. I'm so used to it that I believe I deserve it. I'm used to people loving me then turning their back on me. It's all I ever got. I feel like I don't deserve love at all. Only abuse.

No one ever cared how I felt. What I thought. They'd always use me for what they want regardless of how I felt.

Then discard me like trash after.

I don't feel like I'm a person anymore. I feel like trash. So completely worthless

I'm either trash, a toy for their self pleasure or a helpless victim. Never human.

I want people to like me so badly. I'll pretend or tear myself apart just so they like me. I'll change things about myself so they like me. I just want them to like me. That's all I wanted.

And it doesn't matter how I feel or what I say.

Even if I was no they'll still take what they want. I give up.

What's the point in saying "no" anymore?