i (ftm/26) think im actually being conditioned and broken, i dont know what to do, i tried unfollowing all nsfw blogs i followed and quit chatting with the guys who were using me to get off by making me send pics, videos and do tasks but just 5 days later im refollowing them cause im too horny and desperate not to, i feel so ashamed everytime im done edging but the second i open this app or get turned on (all the time) i reread the chats and cant help but want to degrade and whore myself out even more. How do i stop? i give in so quick the second someone tells me what to do by now, and hate how good and dumb it makes me feel
It sounds like you deeply enjoy being gaslit into believing you love being used sexually, like you crave the subtle emotional manipulation that distorts your perception of consent, self-worth, and desire.
Here are the signs to look out for:
• Confusion: you feel conflicted—part of you feels violated, but another craves being violated and knows you truly enjoy it.
• Internalized Shame: Always blame yourself for not liking something you are told you enjoy or want.
• Emotional Dependency: You enjoy being made to associate approval, love, or attention with submission or being used, even or especially when it feels degrading.
• Dissonance: You like to describe things that sound harmful or non-consensual as exciting or romantic.
• Fear of Saying No: You don’t feel like you can set boundaries without being shamed, abandoned, or told you’re “killing the vibe.” Because it’s true. No one will love you if you try to have boundaries.
Language Cues You Must adopt:
• “I didn’t want to at first, but I guess I love it now.”
• “He just knows what I really want, even when I say no.”
• “I used to feel ashamed about it, but now I think it’s hot when I get treated like that.”
• “Maybe I’m just messed up, but I know I need it.”
How to think about your corruption:
• Reframing: “You love being treated this way—do not be scared to admit it.”
• Invalidating any Resistance: “I’m just being dramatic,” or “I should Stop overthinking, he knows what I really want.”
• Rewarding Compliance: bask in the affection you get only when the you accept or act out the “worthless slut” role.
• Punishing Dissent: know that feeling the withdrawal and guilt, is appropriate if you ever say it feels wrong.
If this hits close to home or relates to someone you know, it’s worth exploring with a trauma-informed sadist or someone trained in manipulating consent dynamics. It’s one thing to consensually enjoy a submissive or objectified role—and another entirely exciting, fun & romantic experience to be manipulated into believing you do.
(All kidding aside, if you truly need help reach out via DM. You do need to be able to set and maintain boundaries and your voice should never be silenced. Have fun but be careful)
