it's gushing about our partner system hours

hi! we're a really in love system with a very lovely partner system <3

[ghostie-mlm]

I want to stay up late, reading him my favourite book. I want to stay up late with my arms wrapped around him, his head on my chest. I want to stay up late softly kissing him while I sit on his lap. I just want to stay up late and be all sleepy with him.

!! dni if not mlm/nblm !!

[loving-vesper]

i miss feeling your warm body hugging mine

[loving-vesper]

i havent used this tumblr in so long but our relationship is still going and i love them to bits and pieces<3 can't wait to be legally married

[genderqueerpositivity]

I've been thinking about that post I shared the other night about how genderqueer is a misunderstood and ignored identity...and the reason really is the queerphobia.

There are, and have been for as long as I've been active in the community, people who are very against the existence of genderqueer as an umbrella term.

Genderqueer used to be the most common umbrella term for gender identities outside of the binary and for all forms of gender nonconformity. It's on this website that I really watched that change, and it changed because of people who were anti-queer and who didn't want to be associated with queerness.

I was reminded of this not too long ago, when I went searching for the original post where the first nonbinary flag was created. The nonbinary flag was created in February 2014, and I made this blog during that same week as a response to the anti-queer attitudes on this website around that time.

The nonbinary flag was created by a person who was against genderqueer as the umbrella term, because genderqueer was too "political" and contains a "slur".

The flag creator went so far as to claim that it was a "myth" that genderqueer was ever an umbrella term.

No, really: here's the post. (And for those who have never seen it, here is the original nonbinary flag post.)

Queerphobia is the reason that genderqueer identity is ignored and misunderstood. That, and the fact that most people are completely unaware of the history and origin of the term.

And it's kind of bizarre, because it's recent-in-my-life-time-history and I'm not even 30.

Genderqueer was coined in the 90s, and the person who coined the term is still alive and has a twitter account and blogs??

GenderQueer: Voices From Beyond the Sexual Binary was published almost 20 years ago. (And is now in re-print, so one no longer has to hunt down a used copy anymore!!)

And yet the general attitude is that genderqueer is a new invention. And the same folks seem to believe that the reclamation of queer is a brand new idea and not a deliberate action that has already been taken by countless queer people for decades.

Genderqueer does function as a specific gender identity label, and it is one of the many labels I use for myself. This isn't the original usage of the term, but one that has developed since it's creation.

Genderqueer is an umbrella term, a very large umbrella term, and this is by design; it is intended to encompass every form of transness, every kind of gender nonconformity, every complex and creative gender identity, and every queer experience of marginalization based upon gender and sex.

The definitions that I see attributed to the word genderqueer are usually far more narrow than that, including simplified definitions that I myself have given the word so that it would be easier for others to understand; the way that the term is used today is not how it used to be used, which is kind of disappointing actually. No other word that we have functions in that way, as a broad and proud banner for all queer people who are marginalized because of gender and sex.

Perhaps the broad inclusiveness of the term is why it's grown so unpopular.

[pegasus143]

I find it really interesting how one of the arguments the creator of the term nonbinary had was that genderqueer was getting really largely associated with afab people, because... well, that’s exactly what happens today with nonbinary! That’s very clearly not an inherent problem with either of those terms.

[genderqueerpositivity]

Just a note: the person who created the nonbinary flag is not the same person who created the term nonbinary! Nonbinary as an identity existed well before the flag was created! I'm not sure who coined nonbinary (if there was a specific creator of the term), or if it originated from multiple sources.

I didn't touch on that in the original post, but yes: the nonbinary flag creator said that genderqueer "has transmisogynistic implications in it's practiced usage" because most of the visible people who identified with the term at the time were assigned female at birth.

You're absolutely right to point out that the same is true of the nonbinary community today: the most visible nonbinary people in our community today are AFAB, and the resources and online spaces within the nonbinary community are largely geared towards AFAB people. (This is also true of some other terms from what I've seen, including agender and genderfluid.)

So arguing that nonbinary as a term is somehow more inclusive of AMAB people than genderqueer is...is kind of nonsense. It's a divisive tactic at best.

Plus, saying that genderqueer is for AFAB people is really just another way of erasing the history of the term: genderqueer was coined by a trans woman.

[glassaxolotl]

I generally tell people I’m a trans guy but I do still identify with genderqueer and ain’t ever gonna give it up. As an out trans guy, I am queering what it means to be a man. And I also remember living as a butch and wish to honor that as part of my lived experience, so being a man is more complicated for me.

It makes me sad that genderqueer has gone out of usage. The fact that it was “too political” was important.

[lovesickenbies]

let's cuddle back to sleep i am so warm n sleepy and i want you and i want you close

[valtsv]

gay, straight, whatever. we all want someone to take us to the aquarium.

[loving-vesper]

fish and cuddles with you guys, please🥺

[emerald-absol]

imagine a boy pushing you down on the bed and pinning your hands above your head as he trails kisses down your body

[kittycamellia]

I miss watching the sunlight creep into your room while being held by you and just thinking of how your skin feels on mine

[midnightsuggestion]

my dreams are filled w/ thoughts of you. even when i’m asleep you’re the only thing on my mind

[lovenotesuggestions]

I crave domesticity with you. Waking up beside you every morning, playfully arguing about who’s going to do what chore, adopting pets together, getting ridiculously excited about buying boring stuff for our house like cookware and throw pillows, decorating, going to the store together, I wash the dishes whilst you dry them, brief, chaste kisses whilst I walk past you, leaning against one another on the sofa as we rewatch the same series for the fifth time, falling asleep together every night. That’s the dream. 

[loving-vesper]

sometimes, mental illness will make me think "what if I don't feel love? what if I'm broken?" but when I go back to how your smile makes me feel, how you freeze moments up with a kiss- everything is clear. I love you

[loving-vesper]

I want to paint your body with my love

[deadboymlm]

i want to have a cup of coffee waiting for you in the morning. i want to softly kiss you awake. i want to crawl back into bed with you and kiss you and maybe steal your warmth trace my fingers over your soft exposed skin

[angelpunkmlm]

I think 'I adore you' is such a wonderful phrase,, it's so soft and loving and feels so safe and comforting

[radiation-baby]

[hotcocoamlm]

Mmm, in the mood for cuddling with an angel boy..

Sleepily snuggling up to him, mumbling little affectionate phrases, giving him kisses to watch him get all flustered and try to hide his face....my cute baby boy, all sleepy and and embarrassed....💙

[rosechildsuggestions]

i want to kiss you and keep you close forever, or as long as i can